War of the Heart
Lieutenant General Charlie Swan moves his family to Forks while he and his sons our deployed to Iraq. Can the Cullens & the Hales help Bella survive while her whole family is on tour overseas? What happens when the only family member she can rely on runs away? Or when a brother is injured in a road side explosion? Thanks to XxBleedingSoulxX for the amazing banner :) NOTE!! I'VE GIVEN UP UPDATING ON THIS SITE, IF YOU WISH TO KEEP READING YOU CAN FIND THE STORY AT FANFICTION. THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE.
Everything belongs to the one and only Stephanie Meyer.
12. You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home - Part I
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Chapter Twelve - You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home (Part 1)
Thursday, October 29th
Beep. Beep. Beep.
‘Ugh! What is the in suffering noise?!’ I thought as I rolled over onto my side and eyed my alarm clock that had been set the previous night for 7:00 am. Over the past week I hadn’t gotten much sleep so I was extremely exhausted and could really go for a couple more hours of sleep.
Last weekend Alice had pretty much taken it upon herself to volunteer us both for ‘Rosalie Patrol’. Ever since last Friday night, after Rosalie and I had returned home from our ‘midnight madness mission’(as the guys were referring to it as), Alice had planned the rest of the weekend helping Rose forget about Chuck with the help of ice cream, Kleenex, and many many sappy chick flicks!
Rosalie really wasn’t anywhere near as depressed as Alice thought she should be; overall, excluding that one night of destruction, she was actually handing it all pretty well. The morning after our mission, Rosalie had called Chuck up and ended it. Since then no one has heard a word from him.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Beeellllaaa...” Jasper whined from his bedroom across the hall, “Make the noise stop!” he groaned.
Like me, He hadn’t gotten much sleep this week either. Seeing as how he’s Rose’s older brother, Alice had insisted that he join us in Rosalie’s pity party. He had been put in charge of refuelling our ice cream stash and running out to get more movies. He was pretty much at our beck in call the entire weekend.
After the weekend had ended, Rose and I spent the rest of the week helping Alice prepare for her annual Halloween party. We only agreed to helping in hopes of appeasing her from her sour mood that she has been in all week. She had transformed overnight into a tiny evil dictator; she knew what she wanted and she wouldn’t settle for anything less than perfection. The whole week she had us all running around like crazy people, she was a woman on a mission and was determined to make this the party of the year.
Jasper had also been running ragged getting things ready for her party. Due to his arm, he was unable take refuge in any afternoon activities like Emmett and Edward had done. So much to his disappointment, he ended up stuck at Alice’s mercy like the rest of us.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
After the aggravating alarm had gone off for the third time, I reluctantly got out of bed, and wobbled over to my dresser to shut it off. I then tugged my comforter off my bed and wrapped around my body as I made my way across the hall, to Jasper’s room.
Jasper was sprawled across the bed with his head buried in his pillows and blankets hanging off of the bed everywhere. I slumped over to the bed where I leaned over and forcefully rolled him over so he was only occupying the left side of his king size bed. I then crawled on the bed beside him, wrapping myself up in my comforter like a cocoon. “I vote we skip our morning classes and sleep-in until lunch” I groaned, still half asleep.
“Agreed,” he mumbled into his pillow as he went back to sleep. I just rolled over so my back was facing him and drifted back into a peaceful sleep.
“Bella! Jasper!” I heard someone yell, succeeding in waking me from my slumber for the second time in one morning. Jasper and I both groaned in unison. “You deal with it,” I murmured to Jasper as I shut my eyes to try to will myself back to sleep, but I could already hear the faint sound of Jasper’s snoring.
“Aww... don't you two look cozy! should I tell my sister she has competition there, Bells?” Emmett voiced boomed from the doorway, as he broke out into laughter.
“Get out!” I groaned as I blindly whipped Jasper’s pillow at his head.
“Nope,” Emmett laughed as he caught the pillow and hopped onto the bed in-between us. “So what’s for breakfast this morning, Bells?”
“Ugh! How did you even get in my house anyway? I made Alice give back her freaking key!” I yelled into my pillow.
“Not before she made a copy first,” he smirked. I just rolled my eyes, damn evil pixie! “So, are you guys going to school or what?” he asked as he woke Jasper up by smacking him in the back of the head with his pillow.
“Yea, were going.” I said as I rolled out of bed. “Come on Jazz, let’s get ready before Alice saunters in here next.” I growled, swearing under my breath. I left the guys there and made my way to my room to throw a quick outfit together.
I was digging through my closet looking for my favourite pair of jeans that I hadn’t seen in a while, when I heard a faint knock on my bedroom door. I looked up from my sprawled out pile of jeans on the floor to see Emmett leaning in the doorway.
“What’s up Em?” I asked as I resumed rummaging around my closet for my lost pair of jeans.
“I was wondering if I could ask you for a favour...” he enquired. I stopped my search to look up and see Emmett standing there anxiously playing with his hands in a nervous manner. I had never seen Emmett all worked up like this before.
“Sure Emmett, what’s up?” I asked as I strolled over to my bed and sat down, patting the spot next to me for him to join me.
“So Bella-” he paused, “umm...” he turned to look at me which gave me an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I knew he was up to something; in the short time I’ve known him he’s never called me ‘Bella’ unless he wanted something big.
“Just spit it out Emmett, I'm too tired to guess what you’re up to!” I growled. I really didn't feel like playing games this early in the morning.
“Do you think you could maybe talk to Rose for me? I really like her, but every time I'm around her my words just seem to get messed up. I was kind of hoping to ask her to Alice’s party tomorrow night, but every time I get ready to ask, I always chicken out. Do you think maybe you could talk to her for me? I would majorly owe you if you did.” he asked, pleading with his eyes.
Oh crap! This is what I was afraid of; romance wasn’t really one of my talents. “I guess I could try Em... but I have to warn you, playing matchmaker isn’t really one of my strong suits.”
“Thank you Bells, that all I'm asking” he smiled as he hopped off my bed, giving me a playful punch on the shoulder. I gave him an evil glare, but he just laughed and headed downstairs, leaving me to get dressed. I guess I was going to have to talk to Rose.
Emmett, Jasper and I arrived at school just in time for second period. I was too tired to cook, so we decided that seeing as how we were already late to begin with, it wouldn’t hurt to stop for coffee and bagels, much to Emmett’s dismay.
“Bout time you decided to show up, where were you guys this morning?” Rosalie asked as I took my seat beside her in Spanish. I had managed to make it just before the bell rang and Mrs Geoff was still busy discussing a late assignment with some other student.
“Jasper and I were trying to sleep in,” trying being the keyword, “that was until we were rudely interrupted by some overgrown grizzly who was out hunting for food.” She just laughed and nodded her head in understanding.
I was trying to figure out a way to approach the ‘Emmett’ discussion without upsetting her. Emmett, not wanting to seem like the rebound guy, had given Rosalie some space after the Chuck incident, but he was suffering. We all knew that he desperately wanted to take Rose to Alice’s party tomorrow night, but couldn't find the nerve to ask. It was actually kind of ironic seeing as how Emmett was never nervous about anything, but he just couldn't seem to come up with two audible functioning words whenever he was around Rose.
“So did Alice talk to you about picking out pumpkins after school today?” she whispered, interrupting my thoughts. As we both started copying down the notes the Mrs. Geoff had put up on the overhead. “Apparently she needs help picking them out to decorate for her party tomorrow night.”
“Oh joy,” I shuddered, rolling my eyes thinking about the torture that Alice could inflict in a pumpkin patch, Rosalie just laughed. Unlike me who quivered at the idea of helping Alice the dictator, Rosalie welcomed it as a distraction from her not so wonderful love life.
“So Rose, since Chuck and you are no more, who are you going to go with to Alice’s Halloween party?” I asked, trying my best to be subtle.
“Don’t know Bells, a couple guys asked me to go, but none of them felt right, ya know?” she replied in a sad tone.
“Well what about Emmett? I don’t think he’s going with anyone...” I suggested, hoping she hasn’t been completely blind to Emmett’s obvious affections towards her in the past few months.
“I don't know Bells, Emmett has always been a great friend to me and he’s been amazingly sweet and supportive these past few weeks, but I'm a little apprehensive about taking are relationship to the next step.”
“But you have feelings for him, right?” I asked.
“Honestly, I’ve had a thing for him ever since our family moved here from Alaska. I remember this one time when he punched out Mike Newton for getting a little too fresh with me at a dance a couple years ago. I’ve always loved the fact the he was so protective and caring of me. I just never pursued a relationship with him out of fear of losing our friendship. If things ended badly between us, just think how that could affect the group! It could get nasty...” she groaned. God they weren’t even dating and she’s was already planning how the break up could go! I loved her to death and all, but she really needed to have a little bit more faith in herself.
“Rose, honey... you’re not even going out yet, and you’re already planning the breakup...” I sighed, She just looked down but nodded her head in confirmation. “Sweetheart, that’s a little messed up don't you think? I mean what happens if you guys are soul mates but you never take the chance to find out? You could risk missing out on true love!” I asked a little frustrated.
“I know, I guess I'm just waiting for Emmett to make the first move and all...” she sighed as she went back to concentrating on the lecture.
That’s when I got an idea...
“Hey Rose...” I whispered. “What are you wearing to Alice’s party?”
Rosalie and I had agreed to helping Alice pick out the pumpkins she needed afterschool. When school ended we decided it would be better to take two cars and meet each other there. That way Alice could drop off Jasper at the hospital so he could get a check up on his arm; Carlisle had been hoping to be able to remove his cast soon. Rosalie and I decided to take my truck for two reasons; one to escape Alice’s wrath that she’s been directing to us all week, and two, so we could get changed before meeting up with her at the field.
“What about this one?” I asked, picking up would must have been the hundredth pumpkin we’ve seen since we arrived at the pumpkin field.
“No way, it’s too square!” Alice protested. Agh! best friend or not, I was seriously close to kicking her ass. Somehow she had managed to swindle me and Rose into helping her pick out the twenty some odd pumpkins that she needed for her party, and now she was on a rampage criticizing every pumpkin we picked out.
Alice was still sulking over the fact that Rose and I hadn’t bothered to invite her to go with us to vandalize Chuck’s car last weekend, even though we assured her countless times that it had indeed been a spur of the moment decision. Alice had succeeded in making us feel guilty for excluding her to the point where both Rose and I felt compelled to help her plan this damn party!
“No it’s not! Your head’s square!” I grumbled, the frustration of the situation finally getting the best of me. Here we were, waist high in pumpkins at a random pumpkin farm on the outside of Forks, and she actually had the nerve to criticize the shape of every damn pumpkin in the field!
“Ali, it’s fine. Just make into a Jack O’ Lantern, that way the squareness will go with the design.” Rose said, while playing with her nails as she sat on the bundle of pumpkins in the wagon.
“Fine! But I don't know why you’re complaining so much, I just want my party to be awesome, sorry if I thought we could use something to cheer us all up after everything everyone’s been through in the past month.” I guess no one could really blame Alice for putting so much effort into planning this party, for her this was the one thing she could do to help.
“I know Alice, I'm sorry. I’m just grumpy because I haven’t gotten much sleep in the past few nights, you can ask Jasper if you want, I’ve woken him up every night with my nightmares.” Lately I had been having this gut feeling that something bad is going to happen, and it’s haunted my dreams at night to the point where I haven’t been able to shake it.
“I know Bella; it’s always one thing or another with you, isn’t it?” she huffed. Ouch! That came out of nowhere...
“Alice, honey... I don't think this is the best place for this conversation.” Rose said as she hopped off of the wagon and stepped in between us. I was a little shocked over the fact that Rose didn't seem all that surprised at Alice’s sudden outburst, which made me think that these feelings weren’t so random after all.
“No Rose, this is the perfect time!” Alice yelled.
“I don't understand Alice, is this about last weekend? Because both Rosalie and I told you we didn't mean to purposely leave you out.” I said trying to calm her down. I was scared someone was going to come by witnessing our dispute.
“You never understand Bella! Ever since you moved here I’ve been left out of everything! You have Emmett and Edward wrapped around your little finger! You’ve kidnapped my best friend! And my own boyfriend would rather confide in you rather than his own girlfriend! Don't you see how messed up that is?!” she yelled.
“Alice!” Rosalie shouted, giving her a warning look.
“No Rose!” Alice yelled, turning to address me. “I'm so sick and tired of everyone thinking we have to walk on eggshells around you, cause no one wants too ‘accidently’ upset you! You hardly even talk about your family anyway! Do you even care about them at all?!” she shouted.
“Alice! That’s enough!” Rosalie screamed, but it was too late, the words had already been spoken. I sunk down to the ground trembling as Alice’s harsh words hit me.
How could anyone think that I don't freaking care about my family? Don't they see how much it kills me to think about whether I’ll ever see them again?! Have I really been that good at disguising my feelings that they haven't been able to see just how much pain I'm really in?
“Oh my god Bella, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean that.” She said as she sunk down to her knees beside me. “God I'm so sorry. I know you love your family very very much! Please Bella look at me!” Alice begged as she leaned towards me. “Bella please look at me! I'm so sorry! I never meant to blow up at you like that. I was just taking my own insecurities out on you; none of this is your fault. I'm so sorry I said that about your family, that was a low blow.”
“It’s okay Alice I understand, and your right, I don't talk about my family that much.” I sighed looking up at her; she had tears running down her face. I could tell she felt really bad about what she said.
“But you guys have to understand, just because I don't talk about them doesn’t mean I'm not thinking about them 24/7. This is killing me! I’ve never had all four of them away at the same time before! And it doesn’t help much that Jack is currently missing in action. I’ve never felt more alone in my life!” I cried my whole body quivering in tears.
“Alice, I know your upset with me, but do you have any idea how lucky you are to only have to worry about the fact that your boyfriend is confiding in one of your friends? I wish that was all I had to worry about!” I bawled.
“Do you have any clue what it’s like to think that every time your phone rings it someone calling to tell you that one of my brothers is missing? Have you ever had to worry that every time there’s a knock on your door it’s the army coming to tell you you’ll never see someone you love again? You have to understand these are some of the things that I have to deal with everyday.” I sobbed as Alice and Rosalie wrapped me in a hug. I knew Alice felt guilty about upsetting me, but I wasn’t angry at her, I knew she was just frustrated about everything that was going on.
“I'm so sorry Bella; I honestly never meant to say those horrible things. It’s just when you moved here and we all became friends I thought that the three of us girls would be like the three musketeers, just as close as Emmett, Edward and Jasper are. I guess I was just a little jealous that you and Rose were becoming so close without me.” She cried.
“I'm sorry Ali, I had no clue that you were feeling that way.” I chimed in.
“Yea Alice, why didn't you tell us? You know we’d never want to purposely hurt your feelings.” Rosalie added.
“I'm sorry; I'm probably just being a whinny baby. It just ever since all this shit has gone down in the past month, I've been feeling a little left out. I just really miss hanging out with my favourite girls!” She said with tears streaming down her face.
“Alice...” Rosalie sighed. “That’s more my fault then Bella’s. Jasper and I were dealing with a lot and we were really scared of telling your family out of fear of what you guys might think of us... We just felt more comfortable talking to Bella because she understood to a degree the kind of stress our family was going through. We haven’t purposely been trying to exclude you Ali, it’s just Bella and I bonded because she understands the anxiety I'm dealing with, our families might be going through different things but the stress is still the same.”
I honestly hadn’t meant to make her feel so excluded, it was just that Rosalie and I had a lot in common. We were both helping each other through a rough time, and I guess that we bonded in a way that we absentmindedly excluded Alice. “Yea Alice, you’re just as important to me as Rosalie is. I mean, who would I turn to for fashion advice?” I laughed. “We rely on you more than you think. No matter what either of us our going through, we can always count on you and your crazy antics to cheer us up.” I said, Rosalie nodding her head in agreement.
“Yea Alice, our little group wouldn’t function without the three of us. You’re just as important as we are, and I'm sorry if we haven’t made you feel that way.”
“Thanks girls,” she sniffed getting up. “I think I have enough pumpkins, why don't we head home?” we agreed and stood up off the ground. I guess we were all going to have to work on communication more. I was just happy that we worked things out and the three of us were good again. I didn't know it now, but soon enough I would be depending on Alice and Rosalie to help me pull through one of the hardest tragedies my family has ever been faced with, one I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it through.
- Saying Goodbye
- Road less Traveled
- The Day Goes On
- Life Goes On
- A Cruel Past
- The Morning After
- New Houseguest
- Notorious Villian
- A Woman Scorned
- You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home - Part I
- You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home Part II
- I'd Come For You
- Gift Of A Friend
- High Tensions & Family Therapy
- Hells Bells
- Two Black Eyes
- Protective Big Brother
- I'm Going Home
- Bowling & Froot Loops
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- 11 Sep 09
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- In Progress