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Testosterone-Induced Stupidity

Edward always has to have things his way, and one day Bella gets sick of it and decides that a certain vampire needs to be taught a lesson in compromise. “I suppose that even a perfect guy is still a guy, which is always going to result in the occasional moment of testosterone-induced stupidity.”

That is a very tentative title, by the way. The direction of the story may very well change. Also, before you go off on a rant saying Bella is so out of character, wait until you read the next chapter. Why Bella does what she does is explained in the next part of the story. She also does not do what she does because of Jacob (a reviewer on another site assumed that). Believing that to be the reason would certainly be jumping the gun.

1. 1- Swallowing the Knife

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1754   Review this Chapter

Testosterone-Induced Stupidity

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I- Swallowing the Knife

I closed my eyes, trying to convince myself that this wasn't happening. Really, as far as luck goes, mine sucks royally. Sure, tons of girls would kill to have two guys fighting over her, but it's just my luck that I get stuck in a love triangle with a vampire and a werewolf. O joy.

Really, things might not have been too bad, if one of them was human, but no. I'm the freak that seems to only attract mythical creatures.

And Mike.

And Eric.

And Tyler.

Ok, so maybe not mythical creatures exclusively, but still, to have two of such in love with me, that's got to make me some kind of weird.

And because both of them have an über sense of smell, they can always tell when I've been with the other. It's not like I don't want to see Jacob, but it just gets tiring having to take a shower before I see Edward again. I wouldn't bother, but Edward always gets so anal when he smells Jacob on me. He crinkles his nose and mutters something about persistent fleabags who can't take a hint. And that's when he's in a good mood.

Sometimes I might skimp on the shower with Edward, but it's never a good idea to do that with Jacob. There's just no point in even trying to talk to him when he smells Edward. He starts shaking all over, and then I have to find a tactful way to leave for fear that he may wolf-out on me.

And no matter what I do, shower or no shower, the topic of Edward always seems to be brought up when I talk to Jacob. Which leads to more shaking and tactful leaving. At least with Juliet, both her lovers were human.

So there I was, trying to pretend that my vampire boyfriend had not just approached me while trying to talk to Jake. You would think that someone with the ability to read minds and like five Ph.Ds would know better than to do that. I suppose that even a perfect guy is still a guy, which is always going to result in the occasional moment of testosterone-induced stupidity. Do vampires even produce testosterone? Who knows...

I had been trying to discuss what to do with my motorcycle when Edward walked up. Jake was all for continuing my riding lessons (without Charlie's knowledge, of course), most likely because he knew Edward would disapprove, my being with Jake as well as the motorcycle. "Bella," Edward said, coming to stand beside me. I sighed tiredly- a headache had started forming as soon as Jacob started to growl at Edward's coming.

"Yes?" I asked warily, knowing that Edward would know about the motorcycle from Jacob's thoughts.

"I need to talk to you."

"Well, sorry," Jake sneered, "but Bella and I were already having a conversation, so you'll have to wait. Or better yet, go away."

Edward glared at Jacob, who had started to shake. "Maybe you should go away," Edward replied, a threat evident in his tone, "especially if you can't control yourself. Wouldn't want Bella to get hurt."

Jacob let out a mirthless laugh, and said, "I can control myself just fine. I would never hurt Bella, at least not on purpose, unlike some people. If you can call them that."

"As much as I am grateful for you keeping Bella safe," Edward retorted coldly, "don't push it. I have just as much of a temper as you do. Only I can control myself not to hurt the people I love."

"‘Love'?" Jake said, his voice dripping with skepticism.

"Like I said, don't push it."

"Ok," I said, stepping between the two, trying not to think about Romeo and Juliet. "Jake, I'll call you later. Let's go, Edward." I threaded my arm through his and tried to pull him away, across the school parking lot to his car. It was like pulling on a statue cemented to the ground, as Edward glared at Jake for a few seconds longer. He then turned, allowing me to lead him away.

He was silent as he held open the passenger side door for me. He had given me a ride that morning, as he had for practically the whole month. After all that time away, he had grown a bit clingy. Heck, I had grown a bit clingy too, so I didn't really object. It was a little irritating though, how he'd never let me drive, even if we were taking my truck.

"Bella," Edward said after driving for a few minutes, "will you promise me something?"

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion and replied, "It depends on what the ‘something' is."

"Will you not ever ride that damned motorcycle ever again?"

"No," I answered firmly. Sorry Edward, but I actually rather like riding my motorcycle. He'd have to offer a lot to make me give that up. If Charlie would let me, I'd ride it to school. Unfortunately, he and Edward were in agreement on that particular situation.

"Listen, Bella," he pleaded, "it's very dangerous. Twice so much, considering that your tutor is a werewolf."

"No," I repeated.

"At least let me be the one to teach you. That way I could keep you safe."



"Because Jake is my friend, and I hardly ever get to spend time with him."

"I don't like him. He's dange-"

"I know. It's not like you don't remind me of that all the tine. But so are you. You're dangerous too, and yet I spend practically every waking moment with you. He's my friend and is primarily the reason I didn't become a complete zombie while you were away. I need him." I mentally slapped myself for that last sentence, and then seeing the look on Edward's face, slapped myself again.

"You need him?" he asked incredulously, looking just a little hurt. "Maybe like a hole in the head! Bella, as much as I appreciate what he did for you while I was gone, he's the last thing you need! I'm not that good for you either, but I am much to selfish to try and give you up again."

"Know what? You're right, Edward," I replied viciously. "You are selfish!" By that time, we had already pulled into my driveway. With those last sentiments, I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me. Edward, quick as ever, had beaten me to my front door.

"Bella, please don't be mad at me," he requested, his eyes pleading. "I only-"

"Edward," I said, interrupting him, "please move."


"Move." I couldn't look him in the eye. If I did, I would surely give in to him. So I stared straight ahead, which put my line of vision at his chest, which, though quite nice, wouldn't dazzle me. Reluctantly, Edward moved from in front of my door. Always the gentleman, he held it open for me and to my relief, he didn't follow me in.

I ran up the stairs to my room (by some miracle I didn't trip) and collapsed onto my bed, angry tears blurring my vision. Really, it wasn't fair, how he could do that. If I had looked into his eyes, I would've melted like butter. He always gets his way. It's quite irritating. He can make any of my resistance dissipate, and yet I can't do that to him. He's just so solid, like granite, and his will is exactly the same. It's like I can do nothing to change his mind.

I cried for a little while longer and rethought my relationship with Edward. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that something had to change. Eternity is a huge commitment. My mother had always said that you should never go into a relationship expecting to change a guy. If he really cares about you he'll change before you commit.

I realized that there was really only one choice. I didn't like it, but it was the only way to tell whether or not Edward and I would work out.

I really didn't like it.

I really, really didn't like it.

But I saw no other way.

The next day, Edward drove me home again after school. He came inside and hung around a while, since Charlie was still at work and unable to hover over us and glare disapprovingly. It had been rather awkward during school, yesterday's fight casting a silence over both of us. Edward had tried to speak to me throughout the day, but I had either ignored him or said little in response.

I was starting to take out the materials to make a sandwich when I felt Edward's cold arms around me. "What's wrong, Bella?" he whispered in my ear, his cool breath sending goose bumps across my skin. "Is this still about what happened yesterday? I'm sorry, a thousand times I'm sorry."

"Are you really?" I asked.

"I beg your pardon?" he said, surprised by my response.

I figured now was as good a time as any to lay the cards on the table. I turned around and pushed Edward back a bit, keeping him at arm's length. Not that I could've made him move, but he must have realized that I needed some space.

"Edward," I started tentatively. Lord, it was so hard. "Edward, I think we need to be... apart for a while."

"What do you mean?" he asked, genuinely confused. I don't think I have ever seen him that befuddled before. I didn't think that it was even possible for him to look befuddled.

"I mean that we should take a break," I replied, completely unsure of what his reaction would be.

Still looking very confused, he said, "Are you breaking up with me?"

I swallowed the knife and said, "Yes."