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Agent training for dummies


Bella is left alone with Emmett and Jasper when Edward is hunting for the day. She discovers an 'Agent training for dummies' book and Emmett and Jasper suddenly decide to have an actual agent day. Some crazy missions, crazy names and some evil cartoon characters are sure to cheer Bella up and enjoy her day. Just how much trouble can they cause in one day?
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Thanks to cocoa-lovah for the banner!

This is my first ever fan fic. In fact, this is my first story I've ever let people read. So please review and lemme know what you think! Btw, I made Jasper more controlled around Bella so he could have more fun. :D Bella, Emmett and Jasper have an 'agent' day with some weird missions, mysterious people and kidnapping some poor person. Will Bella get through the day in one piece? I own nothing, the queen of twilight, Stephenie Meyer owns all this, I'm just having some fun playing with the characters.

2. Your mission, if you choose to accept it...

Rating 5/5   Word Count 4114   Review this Chapter

Your mission, if you choose to accept it…

I walked to the garden, smiling. I was excited about this. If this was with anyone else, I wouldn’t have gone through with it. But I can’t help but get excited and join in with Emmett and Jasper. I walked outside looking for Esme. It was sunny outside, so I figured it wouldn’t be too hard to see her sparkle in the light. But I couldn’t see her anywhere. I stopped to see if I could hear her, but it’s pretty much pointless to try and listen to a vampire. I was just about to turn around and go tell Jasper and Emmett I couldn’t find her, when she appeared in front of me. She was wearing a black suit with sunglasses. I almost didn’t recognise her at first. I was just about to ask her what she was doing when-

“Agent Izzy. Welcome to the secret meeting place. I have been informed by Agent M.A.G.I.C. to give you this.” She glanced around to see if there was anyone lurking. Obviously just a show, vampires don’t need to look around to know when someone is about. I was confused to who M.A.G.I.C. is. I couldn’t work it out. This was quite entertaining though. Esme was being an ‘agent’. I’ve never ever seen her act like this. She pulled a brown envelope out from her jacket and held it out.

“Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to do whatever is in this envelope. I have not been informed to what’s inside. Agent Jazzy and Agent M&M do not know also. Do you accept?” She asked very seriously, but I could see a hint of a smile playing on her mouth.

“I do…what’s your name?” I asked trying to be serious but in the end gave up and grinned widely. Esme let a small smile escape before turning back to her ‘agent’ role.

“I am Agent Hunchback. Now go, before we are noticed.” I chuckled at her agent name. Again, I had no clue what the reason behind it was. She ushered me away before she disappeared. I looked at the brown envelope in my hand. It was surprisingly heavy and was marked ‘ONLY FOR AGENTS OF THE CULLEN ORGANIZATION’. I smiled at the fact they already counted me as part of the Cullen family. I walked back to the living room to find Emmett and Jasper looking at the sofa. It was covered in black suits, sunglasses, walkie talkies, other electronic nonsense and shoes. They both turned and looked at the envelope in my hand. I grinned at them.

“Lookie here fellow agents. Our first mission. Only for agents of the Cullen organization. This was given to me by Agent Hunchback, at the secret meeting place, who got this from Agent M.A.G.I.C.” I waved it around in front of me and looked at them. They were also grinning and Emmett was rubbing his hands together. I suddenly wondered where all the clothes and stuff were from. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a secret stash of agent stuff, but if they did, I probably would’ve already seen them. Emmett likes to dress up in anything he can get his hands on. He would probably be an ace Barbie for Alice except he would tear all the clothes just trying to fit in them. I should suggest that to Alice. Maybe she could go shopping with him to some kind of monster size clothes shop. She might leave me alone for awhile. And pigs can fly. Actually, they might do. Emmett probably would make one. I would probably stand here daydreaming all day, if I didn’t actually do something.

“Where did all this stuff come from?” Emmett sighed and raised his eyebrows. Of course!

“Alice.” I said like it was obvious. Which it was really. Of course she had seen this and couldn’t resist going shopping for us. Emmett nodded while Jasper simply chuckled and shrugged.

“Well? Are we gonna crack this baby open or what?” Emmett said staring at the envelope. He was getting more excited every passing minute.

“This is our mission, if we choose to accept it. Do we? And if not I already said yes so it doesn’t matter really.” I said and stuck my tongue out at them. They snickered and I didn’t wait for an actual response. I opened the envelope and pulled out what looked like some kind of screen. As soon as I pulled it out, a video started playing. Emmett and Jasper were suddenly behind me, watching over my shoulder. The screen looked like it was barely lit, until I noticed that someone was there in the darkness, and the lights were probably lit like that to mask them. When the voice spoke, it was very high and squeaky, sort of like when someone uses a pitch changer or something. However, even though I couldn’t hear their actual voice, they sounded bored.

“Hello Agents. I am Agent Lily. I am guessing you have chosen to accept your mission, so here it is. You must kidnap and convince Charlie Swan that you are agents and are protecting him from Disney characters that have come to life and turned evil, who have joined the people who are dressed as food who are also evil.” We all just stared at the screen. “This is just the first part of what you are required to do today. You will receive more tasks as you finish another task. Good luck agents and…don’t screw this up. This will self-destruct in five seconds.” I dropped it and stepped away from it, expecting a boom or explosion of some sort. But it simply lit on fire and crumbled to ash. I had no idea how on earth it could do that. It was a screen. How was it programmed to light on fire? We were still staring at the ashes, absorbing what we were just told. I heard someone snicker and looked to see who it came from. Emmett and Jasper were holding back laughs. I suddenly realised the hilarity of this and had to hold back laughs myself. I grinned at them both as they looked at me and we all burst out laughing. I was laughing so hard, it was difficult to even breathe. Emmett was leaning against the wall laughing and Jasper was sat on the sofa laughing the loudest, which was surprising as Emmett was really loud. Of course, he must be feeling his own amusement, and mine and Emmett’s as well. Emmett was trying to speak while laughing hysterically. He didn’t get much out. I only understood a few words.

“Evil…Disney…food…people…Charlie.” He gave up after that and just continued laughing. I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. It worked to an extent. I was still chuckling though while Emmett and Jasper were still laughing loudly. I sat down and looked at the ‘agent’ stuff on the sofa.

Now I properly looked at everything, I could see everything was designer. I sighed and shook my head. Trust Alice to buy designer everything that will be used probably one time. There were two black suits for Emmett and Jasper and a black skirt and jacket for me supposedly. Next to them were three pairs of really dark black sunglasses…all dolce and gabbana. Next to them were three little ear pieces. Of course. Alice would much rather buy actual ear pieces for our ‘mission’ than some little walkie talkies. Here I was thinking that Emmett and Jasper would be the ones to take it too far, but Alice had completely gone over the top. And she wasn’t even here. Below them were –obviously- little microphones to go on the inside of our jackets. Alice had probably bought us better equipment, then actual agents. I wouldn’t be surprised if she borrowed them from the CIA or something. I wouldn’t be surprised if she worked for the CIA. I stood up and picked up my outfit. I turned around to see Emmett and Jasper doing the same. They both held the clothes up and I laughed. They both turned and looked at me quizzically.

“Emmett’s suit looks like something that the hulk would wear compared to other suits.” I snickered and shook my head. Emmett scowled at me and Jasper grinned and looked at Emmett’s suit.

“Huh. A vampire hulk. That’s pretty good Izzy.” He said chuckling. I walked past them towards the stairs. I walked to Edward’s room and closed the door behind me and got changed into my agent outfit. I was feeling really hyper and excited and worried and angry all at the same time. Jasper must think I’m going mad. But I was just exceptionally excited to see how this would play out. I was slightly angry at Alice for buying all this unnecessary stuff, but thankful that she did as now we could do this properly. I feel like the worlds richest kid. I want to play like a little child with my big brothers and I get the best clothes and toys. All for some silly little pretend mission. Well, a lot of work had obviously been put into this, and I really wanted to actually do this. I wasn’t going to pass this up because Alice had gone shopping (Ok normally I would be tempted to do just that, but I really wanted to spend some time with my soon-to-be brothers).

I was dressed in my outfit, and discovered Alice left some black shoes on Edward’s sofa. I walked over to them and picked them up. They were black with heels. Not really high heels, but still high enough to be a danger to me. I put them down and walked to my place in Edward’s wardrobe. He had insisted that I have some of my clothes and shoes in there, just in case I want them. And of course they had to be Alice approved. This was the first time I’d actually used them. I looked where the shoes normally were, and found that they had all gone. I gritted my teeth and was just about to turn back around, when I spotted a note. I picked it up and read it:

Bella, wear the damn shoes! You won’t fall over! I swear! They were professionally designed and took months to do! So either wear them, or I will take you shopping to refill your wardrobe with new clothes! Good. You wear them. Sorry for the threat but you really have to wear these. Oh and tell Emmett he owes me a new pair then.

Love ya. Alice.

I breathed in deeply and walked back over to the shoes. Alice said I wouldn’t fall over in them. She swore. She was hardly ever wrong. In fact…she was never wrong. So I had to trust her. And anyway, that shopping trip did sound scary. I picked up the shoes, sighed, and put them on. I walked over to the mirror and looked at my reflection. I didn’t look entirely bad. The skirt was knee length and the jacket had silver diamante stones near the collar. I wondered what Alice meant by ‘tell Emmett he owes me a new pair’. Most likely, he would break something later on. I walked back downstairs to see Emmett and Jasper fighting over what seemed to be the remains of some sunglasses. Jasper had Emmett pinned to the ground.

“You idiot! Look, you broke them!” Emmett was just about to speak when I coughed to get their attention. They both stopped wrestling and looked up at me. I smiled and shook my head. They both stood up and scowled at each other. I suddenly realised that they were both dressed too. The suits seemed to fit them perfectly. I started speaking while walking over to the sofa and taking a seat next to the ear pieces and microphone thingies.

“Boys, this isn’t how fellow agents treat each other. They make small talk and look shifty.” I grinned and motioned to them both. They were smiling at me. I narrowed my eyes at them both. “What?”

“You just seem so…normal and fun. Whenever Edward is around you are either stuck to him or being told what and what not to do by him.” Jasper grinned even more widely and shrugged. Emmett nodded.

“Yeah, just like a little sister should be! Not caring about anything but having fun with her favourite brother!” He said pointing to himself. I laughed and Jasper looked at Emmett who was whistling, trying to act innocent. Jasper simply shook his head and pointed to his face while smiling sweetly. I chuckled and pointed to them both.

“I can’t pick a favourite because that’s simply impossible.” I suddenly worked out what Alice meant from her note. I looked at Emmett and giggled.

“Alice said you owe her a new pair of sunglasses.” Emmett looked confused and looked around the room.

“What? Is she here? Alice? I didn’t break them! Jasper did!” I laughed and shook my head.

“No, Emmett. Alice is not here. I just read it in a note she left me.” He sighed in relief and smiled.

“Wow Emmett. You were really scared then. Is my wife intimidating?” Jasper said while smirking at him.

“YES! Have you actually met her? She’s like an evil tinkerbell! She threatens me with torture, like shopping for a week!” He suddenly had a look of fear on his face. I recalled what I was going to propose to Alice about going shopping with Emmett. Now I really think she would like it, especially when she hears what Emmet called her. I looked back at Emmett and smiled evilly. He looked confusedly at me and narrowed his eyes. He was just about to say something but I knew it would start some long argument, so I attempted to distract him.

“Anyway, let’s start sorting this stuff out. How do you work them?” I said turning and gesturing to the ear pieces. They both grinned widely at this and Emmett rubbed his hands together. I grinned at the fact that Emmett was easily distracted.

“It’s really simple. You just put the ear piece in your ear, duh, and put the microphone chip on the collar of your jacket.” I did as his said and they did too. I listened to see if I could hear anything but I couldn’t.

“HELLO?! DOES THIS WORK? CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Emmett yelled so loud my ears hurt. Jasper punched him in the arm and pointed to me. I was wincing and pulling out my ear piece.

“You idiot! You nearly deafened Bella! We are in the same room! If her ear drums burst, you can deal with Edward on your own!” Jasper shouted. Emmett looked at me and smiled apologetically. I smiled weakly in return.

“Sorry Bella.” I nodded and waited while my hearing came back to normal. I shook my head to get try and get rid of the ringing in my ears. After a few minutes, I could hear normally again. I sighed in relief and nodded at them. Emmett exhaled loudly and Jasper scowled at him. I was just about to put my ear piece back in when I stopped and looked at Emmett.

“Before I put this back in, can you please try and remember that I don’t have excellent surviving skills like you, so if my ear drums burst, I won’t be able to repair them. Tone it down a little? A lot.” Emmett nodded and I put the piece back in my ear. I stood up and all of a sudden both of them were gone. I looked around the room nervously and walked out to the hall.

“Guys? Why did you disappear? Where did you go?” I called out. I couldn’t hear anything so turned for the stairs when I heard Emmett speaking softly.

“Bella? Can you hear me? I’m not too loud right? I hope so because I can’t go any quieter.” I chuckled and turned back around and walked to the living room again.

“Yes Emmett, that’s fine. You can speak normally, just please don’t shout again. I don’t think my ears will live otherwise. Anyway, where have you and Jasper vanished?”

“We wanted to use our new toys in different rooms, or in different houses in our case.”


“Whoa Izzy! You just said no shouting remember? And don’t worry, I’m at your house and no-one’s here, but I dunno where Jazzy is. Maybe you should ask him.”

“Err, ok. Jazzy? Where are you?” I asked nervously. I heard a chuckle.

“Hiya Izzy. I am currently at Mike Newton’s house. It really smells here.” He chuckled again.

“WHAT? Jazzy! You can’t-“

“Chill Bella. There’s no-one here. I just wanted to see inside his house. I regret it now. It really does smell here.”

“Ha-ha! Really? You should do something to freak him out when he returns!” Emmett said.

“No! Jazzy don’t!”

“Hmm…no I agree Bella. We should give him a little payback.”

“What? Payback? What for? He’s never done anything to you!”

“No, you’re right. He’s never done anything to me personally, but he won’t leave you alone. And he deserves a little payback for that. I, as your favourite big brother, am not going to let him get away with it. You can thank me after.”

“Jazzy! Bribery? That’s so unfair! I am the best brother EVERR and you can’t replace me just by messing up Newton for a day or so!”

“We’ll see about that.”

“STOP YOU TWO! I don’t have a favourite! You have to stop fighting or we will never get anywhere! Jazzy, M&M get back here now! If only one of you come back, it will be fairly obvious who my favourite is then!” I said, not really meaning the end part.

“NOOO. I’m coming!” Emmett screamed. I winced again and pulled out the ear piece again. Jasper suddenly appeared in the hallway, looking worried. He looked at the ear piece in my hand and rolled his eyes.

“Again?” He asked. I nodded angrily and suddenly grinned.

“Jasper, you’re my favourite brother.” Before I got brother out he rushed over to me to hug me.

“Yes! See, I knew I was the best!” I chuckled and hugged him back. Suddenly Emmett appeared in the hallway as well, narrowing his eyes at Jasper. Jasper pulled away and put his slung his arm around my shoulders.

“What did I miss? Why are you hugging her?” Emmett asked quizzically.

“I need a reason to hug my little sis?” Jasper said, grinning smugly at Emmett. Emmett cocked his head to the side confusedly. He looked at me suddenly. I bit my lip and froze. His eyes suddenly widened and he stared angrily at Jasper.

“You’re her favourite now aren’t you?”

“I might be. I might not have been if you hadn’t screamed into the mike again! You nearly burst her ear drums, AGAIN!” Emmett looked at me and I nodded slightly and look at the floor.

“Humph. I am not going to let this faze me. I will be a better big brother! But…sorry again Bella. I forgot.” I nodded and put my ear piece back in. I walked away from them into the living room. I sat down waiting for them to come in too, only to find them already sat down looking at me.

“Right, ok. How are we meant to…”I grinned and chuckled slightly. “…kidnap Charlie? He only comes home for lunch, and that’s only if I call him to ask.” They were chuckling too and Jasper was the first to reply.

“Well, it’s quite simple really. We don’t necessarily have to ‘kidnap’ him, per se. We could just drive him here to give him lunch and then tell him we are protecting him…from cartoon characters and food people.” He said laughing through the last part. It sounded simple enough. Charlie likes the Cullen’s, although he doesn’t like Edward too much, so it won’t be hard to get him to come with us. And he’ll know it’s me, so he will be able to trust me…although that trust might disappear when he realises we tricked him. I grinned and nodded and them both.

“Ok then. Let’s go kidnap Charlie!” I laughed. Under any other circumstances, I would be scared by that sentence, but I can’t help but smile now. I walked to the door which led outside and stopped in my tracks. There, next to Emmett’s Jeep, was a shiny, new, black car. I scoffed then sighed and shook my head. Only Alice would buy a car for one pointless game. I was still gawking at it when I realised Emmett and Jasper were practically drooling over it. I scoffed again. I have a feeling that there is going to be a fight after all this on who gets to keep it. And Emmett and Jasper won’t be the only ones involved. Edward probably wouldn’t care if he got it or not. Rosalie would definitely love to have it. Alice wouldn’t care either and neither would Esme. I would have to wait and see with Carlisle however. He always has to act as the father figure and do what’s best, but on occasion he does use certain things to his advantage. For example, if everyone was arguing over something, he would keep the object of the argument, to ‘keep the peace’. But really, it was obvious he really liked it.

“Hello? Izzy?” Jasper’s quite voice broke me out of my reverie. I realised I had been stood there for a few minutes, just looking at the car. I walked over to it and raised my eyebrows at Emmett. He was stroking it lovingly. I grinned and couldn’t hold back a small chuckle. He suddenly looked at me and scowled. He turned away from the car and muttered something incomprehensible.

“Aww sorry M&M. I can leave you two alone if you want?” I said smirking at him. He scowled at me again and rushed to get in the car. I turned to Jasper who suddenly burst out laughing.

“Well done Bel-I mean Izzy. You actually managed to embarrass Emmett. He usually has a not-so witty comeback, but this time he couldn’t even manage that. You are definitely good for this family Izzy.” I grinned at the sudden reminder that I was part of this family.

“So what type of car is this? It looks very…new.” I said the last part sternly. Jasper rolled his eyes.

“It’s a Lexus LS Sedan. It’s not even out yet. Alice does go to extreme measures sometimes. You gotta love her for it though.” I smiled in agreement.

“Of course, it would be far too easy to go in a car we already have, without spending probably more then my house is worth on another one.” I said raising my eyebrows.

“Think about it this way. If we took Emmett’s Jeep, everyone would assume that is in fact Emmett causing trouble, when we are all meant to be away. But if we take this car, the only thing people will be thinking is how much they want this car.” Jasper turned back to the car and gestured towards the car door at the back.

“We are wasting precious time Izzy. We must go before it is too late!” He started humming mission impossible again and dashed to the side of the car and rolled over the bonnet, just like in the movies. He looked smug as he walked to the passenger door and climbed in. I grinned at him through the window and shook my head. I glanced at Emmett to see him grinning at Jasper as well, and I could just hear him talking to Jasper animatedly, no doubt telling him how cool that was. I really wanted to try and copy Jasper, but I knew that if I did, I would most likely ruin our fun day with me ending up in the hospital. I walked to the door behind Emmett’s and climbed in. Emmett had stopped talking to Jasper, and looked at me.

“Ready Dizzy Izzy?” He smirked while I scowled at his name for me. I let it go however, because if I showed him how much it annoyed me, he would no doubt use it again. So I thought about what we would be doing today. I smiled and nodded at them both. Emmett turned back around and started the engine.

“Right then, let’s go kidnap your dad!”