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What if Bella lost her memory? How would she react when she learns what Edward really is? Will everything be as easy as the first time? Or will the truth drive her away?

AU, canon pairings. Slightly OOC.

1. Chapter 1 Damage

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Chapter One- Damage


Slowly I opened my eyes to a new day. A soft tinkling sound drew my attention to my window. It was raining, again. Figures.

When I moved to Forks, Washington I knew it would be a big change from my old home in Phoenix, Arizona. But the rain had been the worst. I was never a big fan of any cold wet thing. I laughed at that thought.

Until Edward.

I sighed as I thought his name.

Everything had changed when I met him. It was like my world had righted itself. Like nothing had made sense until Edward came into my life. It was so difficult for me to believe that someone as perfect as he was would want to spend all of eternity with me.

If only he would change me himself.

I had long ago decided that I would become a vampire like the rest of the Cullens. I wanted Edward, and I wouldn't settle for anything less than eternity to be with him. If only I could help Edward get past this issue he had about saving my soul. I had never understood how someone as good and kind as Edward would think he didn't have a soul. Being a vampire doesn't change that.

I pushed myself out of bed and headed downstairs. I did a quick survey of the house and realized Charlie was out fishing.

Finally, a day to myself. Well myself and Edward.

I smiled at that thought. It never ceased to amaze me how often Edward appeared in my thoughts.

I glanced at the calendar hanging on the side of the refrigerator and noticed it's been almost two years since I first met Edward.

Yeah, two years and an eternity.

I thought. It felt like I'd known Edward for so much longer. I grabbed a cereal bowl from the cupboard as I continued my train of thought.

I gasped as two cold arms wrapped around my waist from behind. My bowl crashed and bounced off the floor. Good thing it was plastic.

"I'm sorry love. I didn't mean to startle you."

Edward's voice was like velvet. Caressing every part of me with it's richness.

How crazy is that? His voice makes me tremble

. I'm completely hopeless.

I turned in his arms and pressed my lips to his. As usual my heart sped up. Pounding frantically in my chest. My lips molded to his and I snaked my arms around his neck, running my fingers in his hair. But it wasn't enough. Kissing Edward never was. I twisted my fingers in his hair, using the leverage to pull him closer. I tried to press my body fully to his. Edward sighed and pulled away.

"Bella." He said my name as a warning. I knew he worried he would lose control and kill me if he got too excited. But it was so hard to remember that. My whole body was tingling, and my head was spinning. I was practically panting.

"Sorry." I felt a blush flame to life in my cheeks. That was one thing I wouldn't miss when I became a vampire.

Edward reached up and gently stroked my burning cheek. His golden eyes smoldered into mine. Instantly my brain emptied of all thought. All I wanted was to kiss him again.

"I know you think I have an iron will, but that isn't true. Please don't make this any harder, love." Edward flashed me my favorite crooked grin.

I sighed and rested my head against his chest. " I love you"

"As I love you. What are you buttering me up for?"

How did h


always know?

I didn't look at him, instead I stared intently at the third button on his shirt. I knew if I looked into his beautiful honey colored eyes I would chicken out

"I was thinking about going to see Jacob today." I waited for what felt like an eternity. Finally I gave up and looked at Edward. He was staring off into space a blank look on his fac"So...what do you think?" I tried again.

"Bella, I don't think that would be a good idea. Jacob's unstable right now."

"Unstable? No he's not. Edward he's perfectly capable of controlling himself."

Edward got off the bed and paced the small space in my bedroom. His expression was one of anger and frustration.

"He's a young werewolf Bella. They aren't known for their self control.. If he phased anywhere near you, you could be seriously injured. You know that."

I got up and went to stand by my door. I crossed my arms and gave him my stern, 'I mean business' look. We continued our staring contest for several seconds before Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. I knew I was upsetting him, but I needed to make him see that Jacob was a friend, my best friend. He needed me, how could I not go to him?

"Bella, I can't take the chance that you'd be hurt. You are my life, I can't lose you."

His velvet voice sent shivers down my spine. I stared into his eyes but before I could feel the effects of his talents I shook my head. I walked over to stand in front of him, and pointed a finger at his chest.

"Do not even try to dazzle me! I'm serious, and shame on you for trying to distract me."

He laughed and ran a hand carelessly through his hair. "Honestly Bella, I'm not trying to dazzle you." He reached out and wrapped an arm around my waist. Leaning close he brushed his lips against my ear and whispered, "You'd know it if I was." I shivered again. My heart skidded into double time, the thudding was almost painful.

"Can we make a compromise Bella? Please?"

I considered that. It was the least I could do.

"Alright, lets negotiate."

"Wait a few weeks. When he's had some more time to learn more self-control I will personally escort you to the treaty line."

"Really? Hmmm..." I knew it wasn't right, but if I let Edward think I'd agreed to the compromise, I would get to see Jake and Edward wouldn't have to worry needlessly.
I wound my arms around his waist and laid my head against his chest. I sighed and smiled up at Edward.

"Thank you Bella. That means a lot to me."

Guilt quickly assaulted me. I didn't want to have to deceive him, but Jacob deserved better from me too. Figures, I'd be the only girl in the world who's boyfriend and best friend would be not only mortal enemies, but mythical creatures as well.


I waited until Edward and his family had left to go hunting. I spent all day avoiding all thought of my plan, leaving the details completely undecided. I knew if I thought my plan through, Alice would have a vision of it.. Edward would read her mind, and they'd come storming over here to stand guard. It was really frustrating with those two sometimes.

I got in my truck and heading to La Push. I somehow managed to keep things undecided, but when I was within minutes of the treaty line I stomped on the gas and pushed my poor truck to it's top speed of 55mph. The poor old thing was shaking and I was starting to wonder if I would even make it.

I watched the rear view mirror expecting to see Edwards silver Volvo appear out of thin air. But I was the only car on the road. A flash in my peripheral caught my attention. I felt my face freeze in horror as a deer leaped over the guardrail mere feet in front of me. I didn't have time to think, I just reacted. I yanked the steering wheel to the left trying in vain to avoid the poor animal. But a second later I realized my mistake as the deer was still moving I swerved right towards it. I yanked the wheel back to the right. Adrenaline coursed through me, I was shaking so hard I could hardly grip the steering wheel. My breath came out in shallow pants. It was already too late when I realized I was swerving right towards the guardrail and the embankment below. I slammed on the brake and felt the truck shudder. The smell of burning rubber assaulted my nose, burning.

All I could do was brace myself. A second later I crashed through the guardrail, the force slamming me back in my seat. My head flopped around painfully. I screamed as the truck dove through the embankment. The truck hit a boulder the force slammed my forehead into the steering wheel. Pain erupted and I screamed again. My head was on fire. But it was nothing compared to the panic threatening to crush me.

Edward I'm so sorry, if only I'd listened to you. Forgive me.

I thought frantically, hoping I survived this.

I felt the truck roll and pain erupted on the side of my head. Was it even possible to feel more pain?

I felt the warmth of blood running down the side of my face. The salty, metallic smell making my head swim. My head bounced off the steering wheel one more time and the last thing I thought before unconsciousness claimed me was of Edward.


love you!

And then there was nothing.