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Twofold Silence

Summary:
This is the first few days of Alice and Jasper after they find each other in Philadelphia. It is told in the first person, from both their points of view. Some content is mature, but I think it is sweet and fluffy not smutty. This is my first fan fic, so I would appreciate constructive criticism. Thanks! :o)


Notes:
Okay, as I said in the summary, this is the first few days of Alice and Jasper after they find each other in Philadelphia and it is told from both their points of view. The title of this story comes from "Silent Noon" a poem by Dante Gabriel Rosetti.


3. From Midnight to Sunrise

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2773   Review this Chapter

APOV

If I could have sung in triumph without scaring him, I would have. All night I had fought the fierceness of joy that washed through me at his touch and concentrated instead on holding onto a steady, peaceful contentment that at last I was in his arms. I let that peace fill me right up so that I could cover him in it too. I felt somehow that peace was something that Jasper needed a lot of and I was prepared to give him a lot of everything. Keeping it all controlled, however, that was going to be difficult.

I did not need his talent for picking up emotions to know that he was pleasantly bemused right now. Unsure, but content to go along with me as I asked. Underneath it all I was pretty certain that he was wondering if I was completely sane. I admit, I did feel a little crazy right now. Relief had made me light headed and I’d probably overwhelmed him a bit. Control was still imperative but I could not help wondering…what was he going to feel like when he knew that he could touch me, hold me as a husband holds his wife?

I snuggled further into his shoulder, inhaling his scent, a rich dark combination of leather, coffee and cedar. It whirled in my head, almost intoxicating me. I whispered his name again, feeling his long arms tighten around me in response and a smile curled my lips.

I considered the darkness that was my first life. I knew without knowing that I had never been a wife. My life before I woke in the alley was a blank so I had no framework to base anything on, but over the years – years that I’d spent waiting for him- I had learned much about the race that I had once belonged to. My strange amnesia aside, I learned about happiness and love, hatred and despair.

Books and movies were interesting, though not always reliable sources of information. However, it was thanks to them that I knew at least the technicalities of sex that I would not otherwise have learned. But most of my other information came from watching humans themselves. I knew with the instinct of a hunter to be inconspicuous, but I knew on a deeper level somehow that secrecy was imperative. Observation was necessary in order to blend in. Then, as I slowly realised that there was an alternative to human blood, I watched them still, trying to learn what my life might have been like. Now I knew enough perhaps, to get by as a wife. Theory though, all theory. I smiled into his shoulder again as I wondered if it would spook him too badly if I indicated that I wanted to learn the practical under his hands…

I laughed softly, thinking of his reaction to that. Suddenly, a new vision filled my mind – of his body on mine, his hands in my hair, his lips everywhere

As I watched, my breath came a little faster, rougher and I started to ache in new and unfamiliar ways. The vision became more intense and I moaned a little in longing. And then I crushed it as best I could. I did not want to see what would happen. I wanted to feel it, to know it as it occurred. I wanted to be surprised at this gift that he would give me. To feel his hands on my skin, not in my mind. As I glimpsed that, I promptly lost control and impatient desire whooshed through me, at last I surrendered to it. I had held it at bay for as long as I could.

Of course he had followed my feelings all night and I could not have hidden this last minute from him anyway. He knew how I felt and he would know what I wanted from him. Just him, right now and for the rest of eternity…but starting now – immediately.

I lifted my head from his chest and gazed at him; his beautiful face, his hair tawny in the half light. Dawn was not far off. I pushed my hand into the golden mass, feeling the heavy waves part under my questing fingers. A low rumble echoed in his chest, like a lion purring. I circled my fingers round to his temple, trailed down his jaw and traced lightly over his lips, they parted slightly at my touch.

JPOV

All night I had followed the gentle current of her emotions, floating on a peaceful sea of warm contentment and yet I still felt a powerful contradiction within me. This was a completely new environment, a new situation, a new companion about whom I knew barely anything. Everything in my past experience shouted at me to be cautious, wary even, but I simply could not. I could not feel anything but radiant happiness and I knew that this woman was the key. No… key was the wrong word. She was the reason. I let that notion sink further into me. She was my only reason: in all the terrible noise and confusion of the past century, her serenity rang true and clear. Now every unspoken question I had ever asked resolved before me - she was the answer to them all.

She pushed closer to me then and I felt her chest expand as she inhaled my scent. What ever it was, she seemed to like it. I felt her cheek lift against my shoulder and I knew she smiled. She whispered my name again and my arms tightened around her, I could not help myself. I released her a little a second later. She was so small. Sure, she was strong, like all our kind, but I was much stronger. I didn’t want to hurt her but I could not resist the impulse to hold her closer, to make her part of myself, to be one with her. A brief mental image flashed through my mind. Alice sighing my name with passion rather than contentment, feeling her hands on my body, demanding rather than soothing…

Whoa Jasper! I mentally shook myself. Would the surprises never end? What was this woman making of me? Stop and think a minute will you?

I’d never been much pre-occupied with women before. I was young when I’d joined the army and though I’d had my experience with the camp whores just as any boy would, the lovelessness of those encounters soon deprived me of any satisfaction to be found in them and I soon stopped them altogether. Courting a decent woman was not an option available to me either. They were not to be found on the front line of the war and there was too much danger surrounding me for me to be thinking of such things anyway.

Maria was different. I did not want to think of her now that I held Alice, but I acknowledged this much. What I had thought of then as love was nothing more than a helpless snatch at some kind of security in a brand new, deeper layer of confusion. Confusion made worse by thirst and fresh horror at what I had become. I shook those thoughts away. It did not matter now, nothing mattered apart from the woman I held in my arms.

Part of me wondered at what Alice wanted from me. She had made it abundantly clear to me that she enjoyed my company. I wondered also if she would think I was a cad for entertaining more detailed thoughts about her. I could feel her breasts pressed against me, the dip of her waist and the gentle swell of her backside. Dainty she might be, but there was no doubt she was beautifully female in form. Her shirt had rucked up a bit, exposing some skin at the waist band of her jeans. What would she do if I touched her there? Would I scare her? I had to find out.

Focussing on her emotions once more, I felt her sudden thoughtfulness followed by a magnesium flare of sudden, intense feeling. I was shaken. God, she had been holding out on me. Why? Just how carefully had she controlled her emotions around me? I had to know more. I searched deeper, using every ounce of subtlety at my command, almost slinking through the layers of her emotions. I had never invaded a being so deeply, I’d never wanted to, I’d never needed to. However, this was different, this was Alice and I simply had to know more.

Yes, she had held so much back. Why was that? I could feel the control, but the motivation was more elusive. Probing even more carefully with my extra sense, I found it and the result was the most astonishing thing in all of this most astonishing of days. She was being careful of me because she did not want to scare me. She was protective of me because she loved me. I was blown away.

Moments passed but so deeply entwined still in her emotions as I was now, I felt immediately another sudden shift in her feelings. Impish humour flowered in her, a laugh was not far away. Laughter, what was that? I could hardly remember. I longed to hear her, longed to know why she should laugh in such delicious excitement. I barely had time to appreciate her soft enchanting giggle before I felt her control slip and a wave of desire, so intense it just about paralysed me, swept through us both. Wrapped so tightly in each other, I knew that that the other side of my gift would not be contained much longer, I felt her hands in my hair, on my face, electric on my skin. Her soft moan sent me over the edge and I could not help myself as the intensity of my longing for her broke though. I knew she would be swept up in my emotional storm, just as I was in hers. She cried out as if I were already inside her and I crushed her to me, rolling her over into the long, sweet smelling grass. I hovered over her, staring into her dark eyes as I dipped my face slowly towards her and finally, our lips met.

Her breath was sweet in my mouth, her face satin under my fingertips. She twisted her hands in my hair and pulled herself closer to me, sighing in response to my tightening hold. Concern touched me then. She was so exquisitely small and at the level we were connected I could feel not only her pleasure in my touch, but also something truly and suddenly alarming to me. Humming through her was the thrill of the new, the unexperienced. She had never done this before…God help me, she was virgin.

APOV

I felt his hesitation, but I also knew that he wanted me as fiercely as I wanted him. This must be some kind of man thing. He rested his forehead on mine, his breath rasping slightly

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered.

“Silly,” I chided. “Who says it’s going to hurt? It might not,” I wriggled underneath him enjoying his involuntary growl. “Anyway, it’s a price I am quite desperate to pay.”

I smiled up at him, smoothing away his sudden frown.

“This I do know,” I promised. “It will be wonderful. I have been waiting for you for so long,” the edge of heartache in my voice made him hold me even tighter. “Don’t make me wait for you any longer Jasper, please.”

JPOV

“Alice.” I whispered her name like a prayer putting all my soul into the fervency and desire with which I spoke it.

She reached for me, her slender arms encircling my neck, pulling me towards her and she met me kiss for kiss, yearning for yearning.

I did not feel our clothing leave our bodies. I felt only the fire of her touch against my skin. Her breath sighing my name. I was lost in her and she in me and I did not ever want to come away.

Gradually her touch became more demanding, her kisses deeper, her cries throatier. I knew what she wanted, I could feel how empty she felt, how much she longed for me to fill her. I cradled her head in my hand, looking into her eyes so trusting and fearless. I paused for a second before I entered her, wanting to taste that trust just that moment longer. She growled as I hesitated, this little dark kitten, and made as if to pull me hard into her. But I wasn’t having that. This first time at least I would be gentle. Fierceness, if that was what she wanted could come later. This, I knew, might be a little more difficult than she anticipated. Biting my lip in order to concentrate I eased myself against her, taking almost all of my weight, I pushed as gently as I could into her warmth.

Her answering sigh was almost my undoing. I wanted to plunge into her, to fill her over and over again, to hear her sob in abandoned passion. But somehow I hung onto my sanity and held back to make this first time as easy as possible for her. I withdrew a little, then eased my way further in. She whimpered softly. God, I knew I would hurt her. I started to pull away but she clutched me closer to her.

“If you stop now Jasper Whitlock, so help me I’ll kill you,” she hissed. “I can’t help the noises I’m making you idiot. It feels amazing.”

She held my face in her hands. “I promise you Jasper, you are not hurting me. What will hurt is you holding back. Don’t do that to me beloved, I could not bear it.”

And with that, her final permission, I surrendered too and sank into her completely. Into her body, into her heart, into her soul. I did not resurface for a long time.

We lay afterwards, each studying the others face, learning each other by heart. She looked like a white rose, kissed by the blushing light of the rising sun.

“Are you happy?” I asked.

“Need you ask?” she replied, smiling.

“No,” I smiled back. ”Are you happy?”

“I am more than happy,” she said simply. “I am complete.”

I took a deep breath, reaching for control, for the desire to love her again was becoming stronger by the minute.

“And you?” she asked. “Are you happy?”

My breath gusted out of me.

“I have no words for how I am feeling.”

She looked a little disappointed. And I could not have that.

“But,” I continued. “A man once wrote something that describes it well enough.”

“Yes?”

I brushed my hand along her throat, her collar bone, traced her small perfect breasts, travelled down her waist to the curve of her hip. Learning her body, delighted that she was mine. And I said the words softly as I stroked her skin.

“Oh my America,

My new found land.”

“Donne,” she answered.

I nodded. “I feel like I am on the border of an undiscovered country. I have never been this way before.” I shook my head, words failing me again.

“So you like poetry?” she prompted.

I smiled as I felt the burgeoning hope within her. So she liked it too?

I thought of the years I had sought relief from the assaults of hatred and fear, finding brief but valued respite under the wings of more romantic, gentle minds – Keats, Browning, Tennyson… Rossetti…yes. The poem unfurled in my mind like a silken tapestry. Perfect.

Your hands lie open in the long fresh grass,

The finger-points look through like rosy blooms:

Your eyes smile peace. The pasture gleams and glooms

'Neath billowing skies that scatter and amass.

All round our nest, far as the eye can pass,

Are golden kingcup-fields with silver edge

Where the cow-parsley skirts the hawthorn-hedge.

'Tis visible silence, still as the hour-glass.

Deep in the sun-searched growths the dragon-fly

Hangs like a blue thread loosened from the sky:

So this wing'd hour is dropt to us from above.

Oh! clasp we to our hearts, for deathless dower,

This close-companioned inarticulate hour

When twofold silence was the song of love.

We didn’t need words for a long time after that.