Forget Me Not
The Cullens have left Forks, leaving Bella broken hearted and alone until a near-fatal car accident temporarily erases her memories. What happens when the one person she finds comfort with happens to be the brother of the man she can't remember? Will she regain her memories of Edward or will she find a new love with Jasper?
This story starts around the beginning of New Moon. Rated NR-17. B/E and B/J. DISCLAIMER: All characters are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers but the story is my own.
10. Facing the Past
Rating 3.7/5 Word Count 3846 Review this Chapter
I woke up early to the sound of Charlie banging on my door. My heart nearly stopped when I realized that Jasper was still in my bed and I, somehow, ended up lying on top of him.
“Bella, are you up?” Charlie yelled through the door.
“Yeah, I’ll be down in a minute,” I replied, frozen in place. Jasper’s eyes were locked with mine as he grinned mischievously at me.
“I’m going fishing with Billy. I thought you might want to come so you can see Jacob.”
“Sorry, Dad. Edward is coming home from London today and I promised Carlisle that I would be there.”
Jasper’s smile faded at the mention of Edward’s name.
“Okay, don’t be out too late,” Charlie sighed, walking away from my door.
Jasper reached up and brushed his hand down my cheek. I leaned into his touch, releasing a long, drawn-out sigh.
“What’s wrong, Darlin’?”
“I wish we didn’t have to do this today.”
“I know how you feel but, it has to be done.”
“I’ll be glad when this day is over,” I moaned, dropping my head onto his chest. He ran his fingers up and down the length of my spine, nearly putting me to sleep. I forced myself to sit up before I set my mind against leaving the house today. The fear that lingered in Jasper’s eyes tormented me. I tried to reassure him that my feelings for him wouldn’t change but, nothing seemed capable of setting his mind at ease.
“I’ll leave so you can get ready,” he offered.
“Don’t go. I will get changed in the bathroom.” I grabbed a pair of jeans and turned to him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned by the change in my facial expression.
“I wish I had time to wash your shirt,” I sighed, shrugging my shoulders and gathered the rest of my things before heading to the bathroom.
My nerves were raw. Meeting Edward wasn’t something I was looking forward to, especially since it was causing Jasper so much anxiety. I knew that Jasper needed me to do this and for him, I would do anything. I turned the shower on and stood under the jets of hot water, hoping it would relieve some of the tension in my muscles…no such luck. I finished getting ready and rushed back into my room only to find Jasper gone. My heart dropped and the stress continued to mount. I snatched my phone from the desk and sent him a text.
Where are you?
“I’m right here,” he announced as he crawled through the window.
“Why did you leave?”
He grinned and held out a tan, long-sleeved shirt.
“I figured you might want a fresh one,” he laughed. I took the shirt from him and, without thinking, pulled mine off and put his on.
Jasper leaned against the windowsill, staring hard at me with a look of exasperation on his face.
“Thank you, Jasper.”
I moved over to him and twined my arms around his neck. He reached up, stroking my face with his chilled fingers.
“So, when do I get one of your shirts?” he chuckled.
“Why would you want one of mine? I don’t think you would fit into any of them,” I teased.
“For the same reason you like wearing my shirts; for the scent.”
“My scent is nothing special but, you can have something of mine.”
“My choice?” he asked with a devilish grin.
“Hmm, how about a pair of your pajamas? Might be convenient to have them at my house, just in case.”
My heart fluttered as he grasped my hips, pulling me into him.
“Sounds good to me,” I moaned. It took a second to get my mind back on track but, when I did, I retrieved a pair of long pajama bottoms and a tank top from one of my drawers. When I tossed them to him, he set them aside and motioned for me to return to him. I took a deep breath and eased my way back over to him. I stood in front of him, my body aching to feel his flesh on mine. He gazed down into my eyes with a mirrored desire.
“You have no idea how much I want to be with you,” he whispered, brushing his lips against my ear.
“If we have to wait for everything else, at least kiss me,” I moaned. He pulled me against his chest, never taking his eyes off of mine.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Bella.”
“You won’t. I trust you, Jasper.”
He placed his fingers under my chin, easing my lips to his. I held my breath and closed my eyes. He pressed his cool lips against mine, igniting the burning desire that coursed through my body. I felt his tongue brush against my lips and, in response, opened my mouth slightly. He massaged my tongue with his, sending chills down my spine. It was a perfect first kiss. He slid his hands around my waist, pressing my pelvis into the swell of his pants. I wanted him…I needed him. My head was swimming when he pulled away from our passionate embrace. I opened my eyes to his regretful gaze.
“We have to be patient,” he groaned.
“How much longer do we have to wait, Jasper?”
“If your feelings for me remain this way after you have met Edward, I will come to you tonight.”
I sighed with frustration, “Let’s get this over with.”
Jasper grabbed my pajamas and followed me out of the house. I paused at my truck, hating the fear that lingered in the back of my mind each time I had to get into a vehicle. Jasper stood behind me, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.
“You can do this, Darlin’,” he whispered. I had driven alone once or twice since the accident but, the fear was always there. I took a few deep breaths and pulled the keys out of my pocket.
“Let’s go,” I said, determined to beat my anxiety.
“If you get overwhelmed just say the word and I will calm you.”
“I want to get past this.”
“You will. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He kissed the crown of my head and rushed over to open the door for me. I felt a little more at ease knowing that he was with me and truly was capable of keeping me safe. I cleared my mind as I settled into the driver’s seat and started the engine. Jasper unrolled his window half-way and offered an apologetic smile.
“You don’t have to feel bad about the window thing.”
“I guess we both have challenges that we need to work through,” he said. That was the moment when I realized that Jasper needed me just as much as I needed him.
The ride to his house went better than I had anticipated. I pulled up to the house and parked off to the side of the driveway. A sense of accomplishment drifted through me, mainly because Jasper didn’t have to step in and manipulate my emotions.
“See, you are stronger than you think,” he said, holding my door open, offering his hand to me. I slid my fingers over his and climbed out of the truck.
“It’s going to take more than strength to get through today.” I stared up at the house, suddenly feeling nauseous. Jasper weaved his fingers through mine and led me through the front door. I was relieved to find the house empty, even if it was just for a short time.
“I’m going to put your pajamas in my room.” He disappeared down the hall and was back at my side before I had a chance to respond. We went into the living room and picked out a movie to watch while we waited for the others to return. Jasper sat with his back against the arm of the couch and one leg along the inner edge of the cushions. I nestled between his legs, my back resting against his chest. He absent-mindedly toyed with my fingers while keeping his eyes fixed on the TV. I knew better than to believe that he was actually focused on the movie. Neither of us wanted to go through with this ‘memory experiment’. I was happy enough with the memories I had regained since the accident but, I knew he needed a little more reassurance. I started to fall asleep with his arms wrapped around me, until I felt his torso stiffen.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, knowing the answer before he spoke.
I stared at the house, knowing that Bella was somewhere inside, waiting. Alice stared at me for a minute before getting out of the car. My body was tense, my head ached. I had grown accustomed to the silence and now, I could hear everyone’s thoughts. One person’s grabbed my attention – Jasper’s.
‘I love you, Bella.’
He repeated that thought over and over again. It tore through my mind as I watched through his thoughts. My Bella lay curled up in his arms. I could feel a growl rumble through my chest. Carlisle approached my car while the others rushed into the house to greet Bella. It was now or never. I had to face the consequences of my actions and hope for the best. I got out of my car and paused.
‘Love her enough to face her,’ Carlisle thought. I nodded my head and took the long walk of shame into the house.
I didn’t see her at first. Esme, Alice, and Jasper were huddled around her, the women shrieking with the excitement of being reunited. Carlisle joined the group, leaving me to stand alone in the distance. Finally, I saw her. Our eyes met and, for a moment, the world stood still. My heart ached at the site of her. Memories of our time together flooded through my mind, tormenting me relentlessly. I felt the sting of jealousy when I noticed that she was wearing one of Jasper’s shirts. Her eyes stayed locked with mine. The love that once brightened them was gone, replaced with a dark void of unfamiliarity.
“Edward,” she whispered.
“Hi, Bella,” my voice cracked.
She didn’t move, instead, she grasped Jasper’s hand. I wanted to run away from the overwhelming pain but knew I couldn’t. The tension in the room was thick, suffocating.
“Why don’t the two of you go for a walk, take some time to catch up,” Carlisle suggested. All eyes turned in his direction.
“Carlisle…” Jasper started.
“It’s okay, Jasper. Why don’t you go hunt while I talk with Edward,” Bella said, squeezing his hand before releasing it. Jasper glared at me, his teeth clenched tight.
‘Don’t push her to remember you,’ he thought.
“I’ll go hunting with you, Jasper,” Alice chimed in, offering me an encouraging smile. Bella walked towards me, hesitant with each step. She glanced over her shoulder at Jasper for a second before looking at me again. I stepped aside and followed her out to the yard. We walked in silence towards the lake. Never had I wanted to hear her thoughts more than I did at this moment. I tried to think of the right thing to say to break the ice but, my mind was blank.
“How was your flight home?” she asked, breaking the silence.
“Long and boring,” I laughed half-heartedly. We reached the edge of the lake and stopped. Bella dropped down into the grass, staring out at the water. I sat beside her, leaving enough distance between us to make her comfortable.
“Bella, you don’t know who I am, do you?”
“Not really.” Her voice was soft and nervous.
“Not really or not at all?”
She kept her eyes on the water and thought for a moment. “I feel like I know you but, there are no memories.”
“Look at me, Bella,” I pleaded. She turned to me, her eyes avoiding mine.
“Edward, I don’t know what our past was like but, I do know that we broke up.”
“What did Jasper tell you?” I hissed.
“Not much, just that you and I dated and then you left. He said that you still love me.”
“I do love you, Bella. I left because I felt like I was putting you in danger constantly by staying. It was a mistake that I regret every day.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“If you love me, why didn’t you come to the hospital?”
“I wanted to. Carlisle told me about your amnesia and I thought it would make your recovery more difficult if I was around,” I answered, drowning in my guilt. She nodded her head but said nothing. I watched as she plucked clumps of grass from the earth. She was nervous and, from what I could tell, very bitter. I wanted to pull her into my arms and remind her just how much I loved her but, I couldn’t. We sat in silence for an hour, each minute feeling like an eternity of torture. I knew we were running out of time alone and blurted out the first thing that came into my mind.
“So, you and Jasper…” I couldn’t finish the thought.
“What about me and Jasper?”
“You haven’t…you know.”
“I really don’t see how that is any of your business!” she shouted, jumping to her feet in anger.
“It is my business, Bella! You love me. I know those feelings are still there, even if they are lost in the darkest part of your mind.”
“I don’t know who you are, Edward! I may have loved you at one point in my life but, I don’t need the memories to know that YOU left ME!” She turned to walk away but, I couldn’t let her leave…not like this. I grabbed her arm and spun her around. I wasn’t thinking. I pulled her close and brought my lips crashing down over hers. She didn’t move.
“Please, Bella. I love you. Oh God, Bella, you have to remember our love,” I begged, pressing my forehead against hers. If I had the ability, I would have broken down in tears.
“I’m sorry, Edward. I don’t love you,” she sobbed, pulling away from me. I fell to my knees as I watched her run away from me. For the first time, I understood the pain I had inflicted on her the day I left her in the woods. I wanted to die. Life was not worth living without Bella’s love. I couldn’t hold the pain in any longer. She was gone, the love was gone. I threw my head back and screamed, releasing the agony of my broken heart. My mind was racing as I watched her fade in the distance. I couldn’t let her leave, not without remembering our past. I rose from the ground and broke into a run. When I got close to the house, I froze. Bella was standing in the driveway, huddled in Jasper’s arms. Despite the distance between us, I could see her trembling, I could hear the sobs. It killed me to see her this way. Jasper looked over at me; I should have known he wouldn’t stay away for very long.
‘Come near her again and I WILL kill you,’ he threatened, glaring at me for a moment before ushering her into the house.
“I will fight for her!” I hissed, knowing he could hear me, even if she couldn’t.
Alice and I took off into the woods near the house. We usually didn’t hunt so close to the property but, I was determined to stay within an easy distance of Bella. I wasn’t hungry however; I knew that it would be in my best interest to feed, just in case things worked out in my favor with Bella. I lunged for the first deer that crossed my path. Alice followed suit. She knew I was in no mood for a proper hunt and settled for a young deer to snack on. If need be, she could hunt again with one of the others.
A pain-filled scream echoed through the forest, sending a rush of panic through my mind. I knew that voice…it was Edward.
“Bella,” I cried out, racing through the trees. I didn’t want to even try to imagine what had happened, I just knew I had to get to Bella.
“Jasper, wait,” Alice shouted, running a short distance behind me. I got to the house just in time to see Bella running in my direction, tears streaming down her face.
“Jasper,” she sobbed, running faster with stumbling feet. I rushed towards her as she started to fall. She buried her face in my chest, clutching my shirt in her fists.
“Did he hurt you?” I asked, feverishly trying to get a good look at her. She shook her head against my chest, retaining her firm grip on my shirt. I wanted to kill him. Bella trembled in my arms and sobbed harder.
“Bella, Darlin’, what did he do?”
“He kissed me. He said we still love each other but, I said I didn’t love him. I hurt him, Jasper.” She was hysterical. I started to force a wave of calm over her but was distracted when I noticed Edward out of the corner of my eye.
‘Come near her again and I WILL kill you.’ A growl rumbled through my chest as I glared at him. I pulled Bella closer to me and escorted her into the house. Edward’s threat to fight for her didn’t go un-noticed.
“Jasper, what happened?” Esme asked, rushing towards us in alarm.
“Keep him away or so help me…” I hissed, taking Bella down the hall to my room. I saw Carlisle go out the front door just as I closed my bedroom door. Bella was still shaking uncontrollably as I lifted her into my arms and laid her on the bed.
“Don’t leave me,” she cried.
“I’m not going anywhere, Darlin’.” I lay beside her, pulling her into my arms. She curled up against my chest, burying her face in my shirt.
“I…didn’t…mean to…hurt him,” she said between sobs.
“I know, Bella,” I replied, focusing again on calming her.
A few hours passed and finally, Bella was calm. I, on the other hand, was filled with rage. The thought of Edward being so rough with her was far beyond forgivable. I wanted to go after him for upsetting her but I knew that our fighting would only stress Bella out again and I was not going to let anything else ruin our night. There would be plenty of time to deal with him later. My phone buzzed in my pocket, pulling me out of my head. I glanced down at the screen and smiled.
Emmet and Rosalie are pulling into the driveway
“Emmet is here!” Bella squealed with excitement. I knew him being around would help her to enjoy the rest of the night. Bella looked up to Emmet as if he were the older brother she never had. It was endearing to see her excitement.
“Where is the human?” Emmet shouted, his voice booming through the house. I opened the bedroom door and laughed as Bella darted out to greet him.
“Emmet, I have missed you so much!” she laughed, jumping into his open arms.
“Welcome home, Bro!” I joined them in the hall.
“Jasper, how are you, man?” he asked, setting Bella down.
“Good. How was the honeymoon?”
“It was awesome! We managed to break a few hotel beds,” he gloated, winking at Rosalie, who was not amused.
“Are you home for a while?” Bella asked.
“Hell yes! I need to catch up on some Bella time!” he laughed. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice joined us, exchanging hugs and kisses. I took the opportunity to pull Bella aside.
“I don’t suppose you have forgotten Rosalie’s temper by any chance?” I whispered.
“I haven’t forgotten, but it’s fine.”
“Okay. Whenever you are ready to call it a night just let me know.”
“I will,” she replied, leaning up to place a quick kiss on my lips.
“Woah! Jasper, you didn’t tell me that you and Bella hooked up!” Emmet interrupted.
“What, Edward wasn’t enough for you?” Rosalie muttered as she pushed past us.
“Go to hell, Rose,” I hissed.
“Sure thing, Jasper. Why don’t you lead the way?”
“Rosalie,” Emmet growled, cutting his eyes at her. She rolled her eyes and disappeared up the stairs. Bella lowered her head, pulling on the sleeves of her shirt.
“I’m sorry, Bella. You just have to ignore her,” Emmet sighed.
“It’s okay, Em. It’s pretty late, I should be getting home.” She shifted her eyes to me.
“Aw, you can’t leave yet, I just got here!” he pouted.
“I will come back tomorrow, I promise.”
Emmet nodded, giving her a bear hug that nearly knocked the breath out of her. I grabbed my coat and waited as she said her goodbyes to the family. I tried to hide my eagerness to get her alone but it was difficult. When she was ready to leave, I followed her out to the truck. I looked around for any sign of Edward. I hadn’t seen him since Carlisle went out to calm him down.
“Are you coming over tonight?” Bella asked, blushing.
“Of course, I will meet you there.”
The lust that flowed off her quickly took my mind off of Edward. I pulled her close and brushed a gentle kiss over her lips.
“Oh, Bella! I want you!” Emmet yelled from the front door, making kissing noises and laughing obnoxiously.
“See you soon,” Bella laughed, shaking her head as she climbed into her truck. I leaned in the window and kissed her once more before she drove off. Once she was out of sight I turned to Emmet who was, by now, grinning from ear to ear.
“What are you waiting for, Bro? Go get her!” he winked, laughing even harder.
I was about to respond when I heard a loud growling coming from the dark lawn. Edward stepped forward, his eyes fixed on me. My first instinct was to attack him for what he put Bella through but, the depression that radiated from him stopped me. Nothing I could do would hurt him as much as the Bella’s rejection of his love. I almost felt sorry for him…almost.
“Edward, come talk to me,” Emmet said, trying to pull the attention off of me.
“Stay out of this, Emmet,” Edward hissed.
“Edward, we need to talk. Are you going to come willingly or do I have to drag you?” Emmet snapped, jumping in front of Edward. I was surprised to see Edward give in so easily. Emmet followed him into the house and shot me one last look of encouragement. Without a second thought, I dashed through the woods, eager to be with Bella. Tonight was going to change our lives forever and I was more than ready for it.
- A Tragic Anniversary
- Desperate to Remember
- Old Friends
- Torment and Loneliness
- Home Away From Home
- Matters of the Heart
- Invitation to Heartbreak
- Chapter 9
- Facing the Past
- A Loss of Innocence
- The Morning After
- The Morning After Pt. 2
- Difficult Decisions
- Out of the Darkness
- Rebuilding Broken Bonds
- Enduring the Pain
- Losing Control
- Learning to Cope
- An Offer of Love
- Home At Last
- RK Whitlock
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- 22 Sep 09
- 08 Feb 12
- In Progress