Forget Me Not
The Cullens have left Forks, leaving Bella broken hearted and alone until a near-fatal car accident temporarily erases her memories. What happens when the one person she finds comfort with happens to be the brother of the man she can't remember? Will she regain her memories of Edward or will she find a new love with Jasper?
This story starts around the beginning of New Moon. Rated NR-17. B/E and B/J. DISCLAIMER: All characters are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers but the story is my own.
15. Difficult Decisions
Rating 3/5 Word Count 2873 Review this Chapter
I waited in the truck for Bella while she went into her house to get enough clothes to last the weekend. The excitement of our upcoming time together was clouded by the stress of knowing that she had read my letter. I had hoped that she would want to talk about the incident when I nearly stole the delicate life from her body, but she was content to ignore the past. The day would come when she would remember everything and I had no choice but to wait and hope that she would still hold fast to the forgiveness she gave me nearly a year ago.
Bella came out with her book bag and a duffle bag hanging from her arms. I whisked around the truck and grabbed the bags from her while she climbed into the cab. Once I started the engine, she rolled her window down, a habit she wasn’t aware of these days.
“You don’t have to do that anymore, Darlin’,” I said with a smile.
“Huh? Oh, are you sure?”
“Okay, just let me know if you change your mind,” she laughed softly and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on my cheek. Lust rolled off her in waves, threatening to drown my gentlemanly morals. I fought the urge to make love to her right here in my truck and nearly gave in had it not been for the vibration of my phone.
“Yes, Alice?” I groaned into the phone.
“Save it for later, Cowboy. Carlisle needs to talk to you.”
“We’ll be there in a few minutes.” I closed my phone and drove towards the house.
Bella wove her fingers through mine as she stared mindlessly out the window. Her emotions were calm so I decided not to question her odd behavior. Alice’s voice echoed through my head. I couldn’t imagine what Carlisle wanted to talk to me about and the longer I tried to figure it out, the more stressed I became.
When we pulled up to the house, Alice was pacing the driveway impatiently, undoubtedly waiting to steal some time with Bella.
“It’s about time!” she squealed, running over to the passenger’s side of my truck and nearly tearing the door off its hinges when she jerked it open.
“Damn, Alice, take it easy! I would like to keep my truck in one piece for at least a day,” I smirked, shaking my head. She stuck her tongue out at me as she grabbed Bella’s bags. Carlisle stood in the doorway of the house with a grim look that sent chills down my spine.
“Come on, Bella. I will help you get settled in,” Alice offered.
“Okay. Jasper, are you coming?”
“I’ll be there in a little bit.”
Carlisle started walking around to the back of the house while the girls went inside. There was no doubt in my mind that whatever he had to tell me was not going to be good news. I forced myself to get out of the truck and rushed to catch up to him. No words were spoken as I followed Carlisle. Once we reached a safe distance from the house, he stopped and turned to me.
“What’s wrong, Carlisle?” I asked, growing more anxious by the second. He lowered his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair, struggling to find the right words to say. After what felt like an eternity of silence, he finally spoke.
“I found an article about a woman that had a condition very much like Bella’s…”
“Okay, what did it say?”
“Well, it was written by a doctor in Boston that studied this young woman’s memory loss. It wasn’t until after the treatment that he learned of her past. Apparently this woman had suffered through many years of abuse from her husband. One night, her husband beat her to the point of unconsciousness. She was in a coma for two weeks, waking with no memory of her husband or the things he had done to her. After six months of intensive therapy, she started gradually remembering her past…” his voice broke off. I could feel the sadness radiate off him so forcefully that it made me feel sick.
“What happened to her?”
“Each time one of the memories returned, she fell deeper into a black depression. In the end…she...”
“What, Carlisle? What happened?”
The pain in his eyes sent my mind into a frantic spin, but I had to know the rest.
“She took her own life. Her mind just couldn’t handle the painful memories.”
“No! Bella would never do anything stupid like that!”
“Charlie told me how hard Bella took our departure. I’m sure she will be fine if her memories return gradually, but…”
“If they come back all at once…the human mind isn’t built to handle that many painful emotions instantaneously. I don’t know how it will affect her.”
“No, you’re wrong Carlisle!” I hissed as I grabbed him by the shirt. My emotions raged out of control and when he placed his hands over mine, I lost it. I forced him against a tree, growling and snapping like a wild animal.
“Jasper, I know you’re hurting but I felt obligated to tell you the truth of what she may face.”
“I will not let her die! Do you hear me? I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe!”
Carlisle grasped my shoulders firmly, forcing me to back down. I was devastated. Knowing the dangers of Bella regaining her memories made me shake uncontrollably. It was as if she was already gone, lost to me forever. I could see her lying in the hollow of the cold earth, no life left in her beautiful face, no smile warming her perfect lips…it was enough to force me to my knees. Carlisle kneeled beside me, resting his hand on my trembling shoulder.
“Son, it’s okay to be afraid. I know how much you love her, but you have to be strong enough to help her through… should the worst happen.”
“What can I do to prevent this from happening?”
“I don’t think there is anything we can do to prevent it, unless…”
“Name it, I will do anything.” I glanced up at him, desperate for any hopeful solution.
“We can try to prepare her. If we tell her about the things she can’t remember it might help lessen the pain when she remembers them for herself.”
“If the emotions are what will hurt her, how will telling her stories from her past be helpful?” I sighed, dreading the thought of having to tell Bella in detail, about my weakness on the night of her birthday party.
“We will have to tell her how she reacted to each situation. I believe it is the shock of the pain that overwhelms their minds. The woman in Boston was not aware that she had ever suffered through so much agony.”
I felt helpless. My precious Bella was unaware of so many things from her past and the thought of having to force them on her made me feel nauseous. She didn’t deserve any of this, but I knew there was no other choice.
“When do you want to do this?” I groaned as I rose to my feet and faced the house.
“As soon as possible.”
“Tomorrow. Let it wait until tomorrow. She deserves one more night of happiness before we drag her through hell.”
Carlisle nodded and followed as I raced back to the house. My mind was racing when I burst through the back door, searching desperately for Bella. Her laughter echoed through the hall that led to my bedroom. I followed the beauty of her voice as the need to be with her took control of my senses. I thrust the door open to find Alice and Bella unpacking the clothes she had brought over. Alice stared at me for a moment, noticing the distress that I didn’t care to hide. Bella watched us curiously as we communicated without saying a word.
“I’ll see you in a little while, Bella,” Alice said and quickly left the room, closing the door behind her.
“Jasper, what’s wrong?” Bella asked nervously. I couldn’t speak. I needed to hold her, to protect her while I still had the chance. Tears rolled down her flushed cheeks when I pulled her into my trembling arms.
“You’re scaring me, Jasper,” she sobbed, pressing her face into my chest. I rested my head over hers, breathing in her sweet scent.
“I’m so sorry, Darlin’.”
“What has you so afraid?” she stared up at me, her big, brown eyes filled with fear.
“I don’t know what I would do if anything were to happen to you,” I stammered.
“How could anything happen to me when I have you to protect me?” she laughed through sniffles. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
“I need to be with you, Bella.”
She stared at me with tear-soaked eyes and slowly pulled her shirt and bra off. I watched in admiration as she reached for my shirt and gently lifted it over my head. My heart ached when she brushed her fingers over my chest with pure love and devotion. I eased her jeans off and lifted her into my arms. She wrapped her legs around my waist and ran her fingers through my hair. I snaked my arms around her body, resting my head against her chest. Her rapid heartbeat echoed through my head as I eased her down onto the bed. I pulled away long enough to remove my jeans and then lowered myself carefully on top of her.
“I love you, Jasper. I want to be with you forever,” she whispered. I traced my fingers over her features, paying special attention to her perfect lips as she spoke.
“I’ll never leave you, Bella. I’m yours and will always be yours, even after you leave this world.”
“No. I want forever for us,” she said, placing her hands on my face.
“What are you saying, Darlin’?”
“Give me immortality, Jasper.”
Her request caught me off guard. I searched her eyes for any hint of doubt but found none.
“Bella, you don’t know what you are asking me to give you,” I sighed, moving to a seated position on the edge of the bed.
“I do know. I am asking you to change me so we can have eternity together. No goodbyes.”
“It’s bigger than that. If I change you, you’ll have to give up your family…you’ll never have a child.”
She moved to her knees behind me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. The desire I felt for her was growing rapidly with each breath that she took.
“I could write to my parents, right? As long as they don’t see that I haven’t aged?”
“I don’t see why not…”
“That’s all I need, Jasper. I don’t need a child. I just need forever with you,” she whispered into my ear.
“You love me enough to sacrifice everything?” I asked, turning to face her.
“I love you more than that.”
“How can I say no to you? I will share my immortality with you, but there has to be one stipulation.”
“Wait until you graduate. Give Charlie that much time with you. If, after graduation, you still want this, I will make it happen.”
“Even if my memory is still foggy?”
She knew me well enough to know that her memory was still a concern for me, proof of how well we fit together. I thought for a moment and decided that is would be better for her to be like us if she did happen to go through the worst-case-scenario that Carlisle warned me about. I would talk to him tomorrow about the change of plans so we could avoid the unnecessary horror stories of her past.
“If your memories haven’t returned by then, I won’t make you wait. I promise.”
Bella grabbed my hands as she leaned back on the bed. I, again, lowered myself over her, feeling her wetness as I coaxed her legs open with my knee. She sucked in a wild breath as I plunged deep into her core. I wrapped my fingers around hers as I held her hands against the bed, slightly above her head.
She arched up, pressing her breasts into my chest. I thrust once, reveling in her moans of pleasure. She spread her legs open wider as I trailed my free hand down her side and over her thigh. I had never known so much beauty as the feeling of her bare flesh beneath my fingers. With no words to express my love justifiably, I pushed my emotions over her. In return, she focused on her own feelings which, to my delight, mirrored my own.
“Make love to me, Jasper,” she whispered, staring beyond my eyes, into my soul. I released her hands and snaked one arm around her back, pulling her tight against my body while propping myself up with my other arm. She ran her nails down my back forcefully with each thrust. Though the tearing of my flesh beneath her nails was barely noticeable, it heightened my need for her.
I rolled onto my back, giving her complete control. She tossed her head back and ran her nails aggressively over my scarred chest. I brushed my hand through her hair as it cascaded down her damp back. With caution, I wrapped my fingers into her brunette locks and pulled gently. She rode me harder and faster in response, sending me dangerously close to my climax. Her core tightened around my shaft as she rocked in perfect rhythm. I bucked my hips up, struggling to prolong the moment.
“Jasper! Don’t stop!” she cried out as her body started to convulse. I thrust harder as my climax peaked in unison with hers. She screamed in ecstasy, shaking uncontrollably over me.
“I love you, Bella.” I cradled her into my arms as she collapsed onto my chest.
“Forever, Jasper,” she whispered while struggling to catch her breath. I smiled to myself when she brushed a soft kiss over my chest.
We lay together for a while, not speaking a word- Just holding onto each other. Daylight faded and soon, darkness filled the room. I ran my fingers up and down her back, lost in the happiness of knowing that she wanted to be with me and was willing to give me her mortality. It wasn’t until I heard the growling of her stomach that I was able to release her from our comforting embrace.
“Time to feed the human,” I laughed.
She groaned as she slid off the bed, searching the darkness for her clothes. I staggered over to the desk and flipped the lamp on, smiling to myself at the site of her wearing nothing more than my shirt. She blushed at being caught trying to steal my shirt.
“I think we are going to have to pick up where we left off later tonight.” I said, grabbing her by the hips and pressed my body into hers.
“Definitely.” She put her pajama bottoms on and pulled her hair back into a ponytail while I got dressed.
We went into the kitchen, oblivious of everyone else in the house. I grabbed a few ingredients to make an omelet for Bella’s meal, unaware of Emmet stalking into the kitchen.
“Damn, Bella! I thought the windows were going to shatter with as loud as you were screaming!” Emmet teased. Bella ducked under my arm and buried her face against my chest.
“It’s called couth, Em. It wouldn’t kill you to use some,” I snapped, holding Bella close while I finished making her dinner.
Edward came into the kitchen with earphones tucked deep into his ears. I braced myself for an outburst but he didn’t say a word. The music from his IPOD blared loud enough for us to hear the melody of the song he was listening to. He paused at the backdoor, pulling one of the earphones out.
“Did you ask him yet?” he asked, glancing at Bella. She peered over my shoulder at him, like a frightened child.
I stared down at her curiously, waiting to be filled in on their brief conversation.
“Edward wanted to spend some time with me to make up for the last time we tried to talk,” she said softly.
“You don’t have to get permission from me, Darlin’. If you want to spend time with Edward, I’m okay with it,” I lied. I wasn’t completely fine with the idea of Edward being alone with her but I wasn’t going to try to control her decisions.
“How about tomorrow morning?” Edward asked.
“Good, I will see you then. Em, are you ready to hunt?”
Emmet nodded and followed Edward out the back door. I set Bella’s plate on the counter and waited eagerly for her to eat so we could escape back to the privacy of my room. I forced the thoughts of Edward and Bella’s plans for tomorrow out of my head, focusing only on the love I felt for her and the moment when we would, once again, make love.
- A Tragic Anniversary
- Desperate to Remember
- Old Friends
- Torment and Loneliness
- Home Away From Home
- Matters of the Heart
- Invitation to Heartbreak
- Chapter 9
- Facing the Past
- A Loss of Innocence
- The Morning After
- The Morning After Pt. 2
- Difficult Decisions
- Out of the Darkness
- Rebuilding Broken Bonds
- Enduring the Pain
- Losing Control
- Learning to Cope
- An Offer of Love
- Home At Last
- RK Whitlock
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- 22 Sep 09
- 08 Feb 12
- In Progress