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Forget Me Not

Summary:
The Cullens have left Forks, leaving Bella broken hearted and alone until a near-fatal car accident temporarily erases her memories. What happens when the one person she finds comfort with happens to be the brother of the man she can't remember? Will she regain her memories of Edward or will she find a new love with Jasper?


Notes:
This story starts around the beginning of New Moon. Rated NR-17. B/E and B/J. DISCLAIMER: All characters are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers but the story is my own.


8. Invitation to Heartbreak

Rating 3.5/5   Word Count 2530   Review this Chapter

Jasper’s POV

The sudden regret and humiliation from Bella hit me like strong currents of electricity, scorching my senses in painful bursts.

“Bella, I do want you, more than you could possibly know.”

“Then why is this a bad idea?”

“I don’t want you to do anything that you might regret later.”

“Why would I ever regret being with you?”

“Up until the accident, you were still very much in love with Edward. Despite his rash decisions, he still loves you.” I mumbled. I sat beside her on my bed, waiting for a response I didn’t want to hear.

“So, let me get this straight. You are afraid that I am still in love with Edward and just don’t realize it!” I didn’t need to feel her emotions; the anger in her eyes told me plenty.

“Darlin’, please try to understand my position here. If I make love to you, I will be giving you not only my heart, but my soul too. Edward will come back sooner or later and if seeing him brings back your memories and feelings for him, where does that leave me? I don’t know that I can handle the heartbreak.” I waited for retaliation but none came. She sat silently for a while, twisting her hair through her fingers while staring at the floor.

“What if seeing him doesn’t change my feelings for you, with or without the memories?”

“If you still want me after Edwards has come back, then I will gladly offer you my full heart.”

“Call him,” she said; defiance in her voice.

“What?” I was beyond surprised at her urgency. Jealousy shot through me and I was beginning to wish that I hadn’t been so cautious with my heart.

“Jasper, I am tired of sitting around, hoping my memories will come back. I don’t care what my life was like before the accident! I refuse to let someone I can’t even remember stand in the way of my happiness.” She was on her feet, using every part of her body to express her frustration. I couldn’t help but smile at the adorable way she flailed her arms around.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take some time to think this over?” The humor was gone. One phone call could potentially end my chance at happiness with Bella and that set my nerves on edge.

“I think I have waited long enough, don’t you?” She folded her arms across her chest and stared down at me.

“Okay, you win.” I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and, against my better judgment, dialed Edward’s number. The phone rang a couple of times and then he answered.

Alice said you would be calling,” his voice was cold.

“You have to love those visions. Is she there with you?”

“No. She is out hunting.”

“How is she doing?”

Skip the small talk, Jasper. Why are you calling?” I didn’t know what Alice had told Edward but, from the harshness of his voice, it probably wasn’t anything he wanted to hear.

“Bella asked me to call you.”

“Bella is there? Does she remember me?” he asked, his voice betraying his hopefulness.

“She is here but she doesn’t remember you. She wants you to come to back to Forks so she can see if being around you triggers the missing memories.”

“Let me talk to Carlisle.”

“He and Esme are out hunting.”

“You and Bella are there alone!”

I was confused. Edward didn’t seem to know anything about the recent development between me and Bella. What did Alice tell him? Bella reached up, wrapping her hand in mine. The mere touch of her skin to mine fueled my desire to claim her as my own.

“Jasper!”

“Yeah. Sorry. Look, Carlisle agrees with Bella. Are you going to come or not?”

“I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon,” he hissed.

“Fine, I will let Carlisle know you are coming.”

“I’m warning you, Jasper. You hurt her and I will personally tear you apart and burn the pieces without a second thought.” He hung up before I had a chance to respond. I slowly closed my phone and tossed it onto the bed. Bella tugged on my hand, her head titled with anticipation.

“He’ll be here tomorrow.”

“So soon?” She ran her fingers through her hair, clearly uneasy with the idea of meeting Edward tomorrow.

“I can call him back if you need more time,” I offered. For both our sakes, I hoped she would say yes. I certainly wasn’t ready to place my future in Edward’s hands this soon.

“Tomorrow is fine.”

There it was. In less than twenty-four hours I would either be divulging in my new found love for Bella or, sacrificing the remaining shards of my heart for the sake of her love for Edward. I was grateful that Bella hadn’t heard his last remark. I wasn’t sure if she remembered the night that I tried to attack her and I sure as hell wasn’t going to remind her. She was kind enough to forgive me for it once; a second forgiveness might not come as easily.

“It’s getting late. I better get home before Charlie forms a search party,” she laughed.

“I’ll get your clothes.” I retrieved her garments from the dryer and waited in the living room for her to change. Within minutes she joined me. She had changed back into her jeans but was still wearing my shirt.

“I hope you don’t mind. I want to keep a part of you with me tonight.”

“Keep it as long as you want, but…” I wasn’t sure if I should say what was on my mind.

“But what?”

“If you don’t want to be alone tonight, I can sit with you until you fall asleep.”

“How will you get past Charlie?” Her ignorance was beautiful.

“Vampire, remember! Just leave your window unlocked.” I kissed her forehead with a slight chuckle and watched as she ran out to her truck. Thankfully the storm had eased up enough that I wouldn’t have to worry about her safety. I waited a few minutes and then headed out the door to follow her. Carlisle and Esme met me in the driveway.

“Got a minute?” Carlisle asked.

“Sure.” I nodded. Esme pecked both of us on the cheek and disappeared into the house.

“Edward just called me. He said that Bella has asked him to come back to Forks.”

“She is tired of waiting. She wants to see if being around him will trigger the memories,” I mumbled.

“Are you prepared for what might come from this meeting?”

“There is no way to prepare for this. She has made her decision and I will stand behind her no matter what it may cost me.”

“I take it that you have come to terms with your feelings for Bella.”

“You could say that. I tried to fight it, Carlisle. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt Edward but, I can’t change my feelings for Bella. She has filled that void in my heart and, I will admit, I am afraid I’m going to lose her.”

“That is a valid fear. Esme is afraid that you will leave if Bella and Edward reconnect.”

“It won’t be easy but, you can tell her that she’s not going to get rid of me that easily,” I laughed half heartedly.

“I’ll let her know. Well, I won’t hold you up. Be sure to give Bella our love.” He patted my back and went into the house.

I broke into a run, heading for Bella’s house. The thought of holding her in my arms was all it took to convince me that I had to fight for her no matter what resulted in Edward’s return to Forks. I got close enough to her house to see that Charlie’s cruiser was the only vehicle parked in the driveway. My initial instinct was to panic and assume that she was in trouble but, I decided to give her a few minutes before I started my search. I climbed the tree closest to her window and waited for her to get home. Five minutes passed and finally, I saw the headlights of her truck. She was driving slow, obviously still shook up from the earlier incident with her truck.

I jumped over to the windowsill to find that the window hadn’t been locked. I crawled into her room and stood silently in the dark corner furthest from the door. The front door creaked open, followed with the echo of Charlie’s voice.

“Did you have your talk with Jasper?” he inquired.

“Yeah,” she replied and then paused, “well, I am going to bed.”

“Wait a minute, Bella.”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Whose shirt are you wearing?”

“Oh, it’s Jaspers. I spilled a drink on mine.”

“I see. Bella, have a seat.” Charlie’s voice was serious and nervous.

“Dad, I am really tired. Can’t this wait until morning?”

“This won’t take long.”

“Fine,” she groaned. Despite our distance, I could hear her heartbeat increase its pace by the second.

“Bells, I don’t know what is going on with you and Jasper; I’d like to keep it that way. I know you are eighteen and old enough to make your own decisions, however, you are still my daughter and I want to make sure you are being responsible.”

“Are we really having this conversation?” she mumbled.

“Just promise me that you will use condoms.”

Bella’s heart nearly stopped and her feelings of humiliation and anger steam-rolled me. I laughed at the expression I imagined was on her face at this point.

“Oh my God, Dad!”

“I don’t like this conversation anymore than you do, Bells, but I need your promise on this one.”

“Fine, I promise! Can I go to my room and die now?” she shouted, stomping up the stairs. I wanted to comfort her, but Charlie was still awake so I would have to wait. Bella threw the bedroom door open and quickly gathered her pajamas and bathroom bag. She left the room just as Charlie came up the stairs. He was muttering to himself about how he wished he wouldn’t have confronted Bella.

“Goodnight, Bells” he called out and then retired to his room for the night. Within minutes he was fast asleep.

Feeling that is was safe enough; I moved over to her bed and sat down. I suddenly felt nervous about being alone with Bella. It wasn’t a fear that I was going to lose control and attack her; it was the fear of not being able to say no to her again should things get to the point of intimacy. I recalled conversations Edward and I had about his fear of hurting Bella if they decided to have sex. It had been easy to offer him advice and assurance but, now I was the one facing that same fear. Making love to Alice was easy - I never had to worry about being too rough. Hell, there were times when she nearly hurt me. With Bella, I would have to be very cautious. She wasn’t just fragile, she was human. One slip is all it would take to infect her with my venom.

“Jasper,” Bella whispered, startled and relieved at the same time. She closed the door and put her bathroom bag away.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Twenty minutes, I think.”

“Great! So, you heard everything Charlie said!” she pouted. Tears welled up in her eyes as her face turned red with embarrassment.

“Yes, I heard. He is just trying to protect you, Bella.” I reassured her, offering her my hand. She wiped the tears from her eyes and slid her fingers over mine. I pulled her close, staring up into her eyes. Even in sadness, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. “Please don’t cry, Darlin’,” I pleaded.

She took a deep breath, wiping away the last of her tears. I pulled back the blanket on her bed and waited for her to get settled in.

“Thanks for coming over,” she said.

“It’s my pleasure.”

“You can lay with me if you want.”

It wasn’t a question of want, it was more of a ‘do I dare’ question. I had to remind myself that this could be the only night I have with her and that I would be insane to not enjoy her as much as possible tonight. Her eyes were fixed on mine as I took my place beside her. I fought the urge to whisk her into my arms and give her the pleasure she had been denied earlier. She scooted closer to me, resting her head in the crevice of my shoulder as she draped her arm across my chest. I didn’t move, hoping she didn’t notice the sudden swell in my jeans.

“Jasper,” she whispered.

“Yeah.”

“Will you do something for me?”

“Anything.”

“I don’t want to be alone when I meet Edward…”

“Don’t worry, Darlin’. I won’t leave your side unless you ask me to.” I ran my fingers up and down her arm as she held onto me tighter.

“Thank you,” she murmured, half asleep.

“You’re welcome,” I replied softly in her ear. She let out a gentle sigh as she pulled her knee up onto my waist. I continued to stroke her arm until she fell asleep.

An hour passed, then two. I had planned to leave once she fell asleep but I couldn’t bear the idea of leaving her side tonight. Cravings to taste her blood came in spurts, each one less urgent than the last until they were un-noticeable. As I lay there, holding her in my arms, I imagined what our future would be like. There was a time when she wanted to become one of us but, Edward wouldn’t allow it. Had the decision been mine, I wouldn’t have thought twice about changing her if that was what she wanted. Leaving her human was taking the risk of someday having to watch her die. I couldn’t imagine living in this world without her. Why would Edward be willing to take that chance? The car accident was proof that at any second she could be taken from us, forever.

“Don’t…” Bella groaned. I stopped rubbing her arm and looked down at her. She was still asleep, holding onto me as tight as possible. “Jasper,” she moaned again.

“I’m right here, Darlin’.”

“Please…don’t leave me, Jasper,” she whimpered, trembling in my arms.

“I’ll never leave you, Bella. I promise,” I whispered, kissing her forehead. She slowly pulled herself closer until she was almost completely on top of me. Shit! I didn’t know what to do. Feeling her body pressed against mine made it damn near impossible to resist the urge to make love to her. I had two options: Forget my previous decision to wait until she sees Edward and give in to the burning desire that was driving me insane or; endure the agony of my need to make love to her and wait until she faces her past. I thought for a moment and then made my decision.