Bella has returned to her family to heal
Edward is at a personal crossroads
With everything working against them will they find happiness with each other? AH, AU, OOC rated for mature themes, violence, and lemons in some of the chapters. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight world. Stephanie Meyer does. I just get to play in her playground.
2. Chapter 2
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I lay in my bed staring at the clock. The bright red letters blink back at me in a teasing fashion. The numbers are not changing fast enough. Rosalie is snoring in her bed. How did I ever manage to sleep through that? I glance back at the clock again: 4:30. Why am I pretending to sleep?
I get out of bed and head to my suitcase sitting on the dresser. I packed in such a hurry when I left that I am not sure what I packed. I rifle through a pile of clothes until I find my bathrobe. I quickly put it on, and look to my sister. She is still sleeping. Quietly I walk to the door and slip into the hallway.
The soft plush carpet negates the need for slippers, and feels wonderful beneath my feet. Then something sharp stabs the middle of my foot. "God-damn-son-of-a-bitch!" I hiss in a harsh angry whisper remembering that there are people trying to sleep. I reach down for the offending object and find a small plastic army man. What is it about boys and their toys that they can't pick the damn things up? I should have remembered to put slippers on.
"That you, Bella?" It is the voice of my older brother, Jake. He must be sleeping on the couch.
"Just me," I answer as I walk into the room. "What are you doing here? Don't you have an apartment?"
I sit in the recliner across from the couch where he lays with a baby quilt and a pillow. He looks so clumsy as his 6 foot 8 inch body adjusts itself to sit up. His black hair is messed up from trying to sleep. I know he hasn't slept at all though. He stayed tonight because of me. His large brown eyes do not hide his concern well.
"Lauren is spending the night again, and I just couldn't take it." Lauren is his roommate's girlfriend.
"No, they had a fight last weekend when she came down. This weekend they're making up. Even the neighbors are complaining. I just couldn't take it anymore." Jake throws me a sheepish sleep deprived smile, as if that was the real reason for his sleepover. "What time is it?"
"4:30. Rosalie'll be up in about a half an hour," I answer with a sigh. "I should probably be nice to her and get some coffee started. I did wake her up." I got up from my chair and headed towards the kitchen. I could hear Jake throw the blanket off and follow me.
"Yeah, that was a bad idea," he spoke as a yawn escaped his lips while he stretched.
"I didn't do it on purpose." I am already making the coffee, filling the pot with water, carefully scooping out just the right amount of grounds. As I got ready to put the coffee grounds away I threw an extra scoop of grounds into the filter. Rosalie liked her morning fuel strong. Jake saunters into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. His t-shirt rumpled and his jeans wrinkled. "I see you didn't pack your pajamas."
"Oh, shut up!" he grabs two coffee cups, stops to think for a minute, and then grabs another.
The smell of brewing coffee flies through the air penetrating everything. The sound of the hot liquid falling into the pot is all there is. The forced quiet is almost unbearable.
I know what he wants to ask. I know what they all want to ask, but I am not going to make it easy. I am just not ready to deal with it yet. I walk to the dining table, pull out a chair and sit with a loud thud. I blow out a large cleansing breath all the while knowing my brother is watching me cautiously. I guess if our roles were reversed, I'd be watching me too. Jake pours us both a cup of coffee, and sits next to me at the table.
"Thank you." He nods at me as he holds his cup between both of his hands. I stare at my brother's perfect face. Okay, not so perfect with the beard, but it just makes his brown eyes stand out more beautifully.
I close my eyes for a second and try to draw his emotions into me. A sly smile crosses his face. He is trying to block me. I concentrate harder. The emotions start to trickle in. Love comes first. It is strong and unconditional tasting sweet, and then the sweetness mixes with something bitter. The soft sourness trickles in like water drops. It is worry. He is worried about me, but there is something else. Jake is definitely fighting me on this one, and I concentrate harder to pull it out. He finally lets go of it, and a wave of anger throws me just a bit. He is really pissed off, but I can't tell about what. The reasons behind the emotions never come to me. Just the emotions themselves.
My eyes tear as I reach for his hand. I know that I am the cause of his misery. He looks to me, and tries to smile convincingly.
"You want to tell me about it?" I ask him.
"It is too early to talk about that right now." He takes a sip of his coffee. I squeeze his hand. My brother has a tough job being a big brother. I think it is because he is so sensitive.
We sit in silence letting the morning wake up. Our unspoken thoughts are easily read on each other's face. Too much to discuss, but neither of us want to be the one to start. The squeak of the bathroom door breaks the quiet. Rosalie must be getting up.
"You going to sleep all day?" the voice penetrated my uneasy sleep, and I force my eyes to open against their morning glue. Sometime during the night, I came into the living room and fell asleep on the couch. I should be happy I fell asleep at all after the nightmare I had. I glance over in the direction the voice had come from. Emmett, my roommate, is downing a huge sandwich.
"What time is it?" I mutter, trying to shake off sleep.
"Dude, its almost one o'clock." Emmett takes an enormously obscene bite of his sandwich, as my eyes look to the clock on the DVD player. How could it possibly be so late?
I pull myself off the couch and stretch my limbs. Sleeping on the couch always makes me a bit sore, but at least my nightmare hadn't come back. Flashes of the nightmare fill my immediate thoughts, making my body shiver. It is better not to think of that right now.
Then a lone image of her face fills my mind. I can smell her long dark hair as I remember pressing my face into it. The memory is so vividly rich that the taste of her skin on my lips as I kissed her throat tortures me.
Snap out of it! What the hell is wrong with me? It was just a dream, a beautiful, scary dream. I shake my head in an effort to remove the images from my head. I thought wet dreams stopped after you got out of high school.
"You okay?" Emmett spoke while stuffing a handful of food into his eager mouth.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I answer as I head towards the bathroom. "I think I might be fired though. I was supposed to be at work at ten."
"No worries," my friend assures me between bites of food. "I called the library for you, and told them your mother had some sort of emergency, and you had to go deal with stuff today."
I groaned internally. Why did he have to go do that? Now I was going to have to come up with something good to tell Mrs. Marshall, the head librarian. "What exactly did you say?" I ask.
"That your mom was in a little fender bender and that you needed to go back home for the weekend to see about stuff."
Easy enough lie to deal with I guess. My mom hit something with her car at least once a month, so it wouldn't be too hard to live with this lie.
"Why did you tell them I'd be gone all weekend?"
"Come on, Edward, you need a break. All you do is study and work, and now you're having some sort of ...I don't know...nervous breakdown or something"
My lips give out a groan, not this crap again. "I am not having a nervous breakdown, you idiot. I'm perfectly fine."
"Well, that's a bunch of bullshit. These nightmares are getting a little out of control, and I can't remember the last time you actually relaxed or had any fun?"
Emmett was right. I had been a bit reclusive lately, and I just couldn't explain it. School and work had taken over, and I found myself with no time to just enjoy anything. Joy just didn't want to settle on me, as I tried to be the responsible grown-up.
"You need to get laid."
"What?!" I yell as I walk back out of the bathroom.
"You need to get laid. I know it." Emmett got up to throw away his sandwich wrapping and paper cup. I gave him an incredulous look. He would think that.
"We don't all think with our crotch, butthead."
"When was the last time you had a sleepover?" he continues to speak as if he had not heard me. "When was the last time you had a hot and heavy make-out session?"
"We're not in high school."
"Who cares? You're missing the point. When was the last time you spent time with a pretty girl when you weren't helping her find a book? Or tutoring her? Hmmmm?" I didn't answer him, but shot him the will-you-get-off-my-back look. "Now you got to get out of this apartment and live a little." I groaned again. Why couldn't he leave me alone? "Look, a bunch of the guys are going to go bar-hopping later. You should come."
"I hate bar-hopping."
"Well you're not going to get lucky at a poetry reading, so how about you join us?"
"I don't know. I have a paper to write, and some research to do..." There had to be a way to get out of this.
"You're coming, and just to make sure you're coming I am going to make the guys meet us here." I shot Emmett an angry look." Edward, don't make us get physical with you. I can snap you like a Popsicle stick. YOU are going out tonight." He grabbed his jacket off the back of one of the dining room chairs. " I’ll see you when I get off work," he says as he starts walking out the door, and stops to give me a wicked smile. "You WILL have fun tonight," he throws at me before leaving.
"Whatever." I mutter to myself as I head back to the bathroom to take a shower.