A Loaded Gun
Pairing: Bella/Jacob. POV: Jacob Quil has a great sense of smell, and Jacob thinks a little box will be enough to win Bella over. Oneshot.
1. A Loaded Gun
Rating 5/5 Word Count 3409 Review this Chapter
A Loaded Gun
“I smell death,” Quil said, his nose turning up slightly to get a better whiff, “and a dash of expensive hair mousse.”
I looked at him and grinned with subdued amusement. “Sounds like my favorite leech.”
“Your girlfriend’s lover?”
“Shut up,” I tensed at the word lover.
“It seems to me that he’s close by, maybe in the woods by the river,” Quil gestured east with his free hand, the other hand occupied by a handful of sour straws.
“Yeah, he’s probably out hunting squirrel.”
“Well then stud, nows your chance, go give Bella your present.”
“Will you shut up?”
“Come on, its perfect timing. You know he’s not around guarding her every move. She probably wants to see you anyway. Go get some.”
“If she wanted to see me she would have called, or came by. She’s done it before. I’ll just wait for her to make a move. Then I’ll give her my present.”
“Okay, keep waiting. See where that gets you.”
I thought about his proposition. It really was a great chance for me to be alone with Bella. Assuming she even wanted to be alone with me. I wasn’t sure anymore if it was Edward keeping her from visiting me, or her own desire to avoid me. I’d sure look like an asshole if I went all the way over there and she didn’t even want to see me. To avoid the pain of rejection I had decided I would wait for her to reach out again. It was taking a little longer than I anticipated though. The little blue box was burning a hole in my pocket, day after day.
“It’s like midnight anyway. She’s probably in bed,” I said, my mind landing on an excuse that was plausible.
“Maybe she’s getting ready for bed. Hey, maybe she’s in the shower and you can sneak in and get in her bed, under the covers. Then when she comes out of the bathroom you can play it out like that fairy tale. She’ll be all, ‘Oh Jake, what big hands you have.’”
“All the better to smack you with if you don’t cut it out,” I raised my hand in mock threat. “She’s not like that. She’s with him.”
“Then why must I always relive the glorious kiss that you two lovebirds shared. And all the hugs and the little glances you love to read into. You know she’s into you.”
“I never said she wasn’t into me. I said she’s with him. And trust me, I’m not giving up on her, I’m just giving her some space.”
“That’s a mistake. Out of sight out of mind, you ever heard that before? Go give her the damn present and get back in her head again before the leech cancels you out.”
“Fine, I’ll go give it to her,” and before he had a chance to hoot or catcall I added, “The present! I’ll go give her the present.”
“Awe, moment ruiner! You should have given me that one,” he chuckled lively before yawning. I don’t know why he insisted on joining me for my late night outings but I was kind of glad that I didn’t have to be alone with my thoughts. I was getting used to figuring things out with the packmind. Not as easy when you’re in there thinking on your own.
“By the way, what is in that little box?” he asked as he got up from his sitting position on the grass. “You never think about it, it’s really not fair.”
“It’s nothing you need to worry about,” I assured him.
* * * * *
I was outside of Bella’s house in less than ten minutes. But I felt shit out of luck as soon as I saw that her bedroom light was off.
Glancing up, I could see that the window was open, despite the fact that it was freezing out. It had to be cold for me to feel it.
Probably for Edward to climb in, I thought sadly. No matter how much I knew about their relationship, it still cut to the bone to have solid proof that there was such a relationship.
I contemplated going home and never listening to Quil again. But a part of me knew that if I didn’t give her this damn box now, then maybe I never would. It was a now or never situation, for sure.
I swiftly climbed the tree outside of her house, swinging from branch to branch until I landed on the highest one that faced her open window.
My agility let me slip in silently, and I almost felt bad for not giving fair warning that I was breaking into the house. A thud or a boom seemed in order, so as soon as I hit the ground I stamped my foot down once.
My eyes quickly landed on Bella, stirring in her sleep. She rolled onto her back but she didn’t wake up, thankfully.
She’s asleep you jerk, I chastised myself mentally. I should have known, in fact I did know. I had told Quil that it was too late. Today would, from this point on, be known as blame Quil day.
As I surveyed the room, I noticed an open book lying on her desk. I picked it up quietly, careful not to lose the page, and looked at the title- WutheringHeights.
I flipped back to the page Bella had been reading, curiosity getting the best of me, and read a little.
“. . . he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."
Almost as if she knew I was intruding, Bella started to stir again, more violently than the last time. I almost dropped the book at the sudden commotion, so I carefully placed it back down on the desk.
I subconsciously backed away towards the window incase I had to make a run for it.
“Edward,” she mumbled in her sleep.
My heart stung.
Maybe she was having a nightmare. Maybe in the dream Edward was strangling her or something.
Or biting her. I felt compelled to save her from her subliminal doom.
I inched closer to the bed, and started to notice the thick sheen of sweat that was forming over Bella’s brow.
My eyes traveled down to her mouth. It was faintly open, a glimpse of her teeth showing, her lips twisted into a frown.
Yup, definitely a nightmare. The thought delighted me. Maybe things weren’t so great in paradise after all.
When I was finally standing right beside her, I reached my hand out, grazing my fingertips over her cheek as a sign of comfort. When her face automatically gravitated towards my hand, I gingerly laid my whole palm over her cheek.
Even though there was sweat covering her face, she was ice cold. I knew the heat of my hand would warm her up, maybe save her from pneumonia onset. I was certainly making myself out to be the hero of the hour.
I made a mental note to remember to close the window on my way out. Fuck Edward, I’m sure he can figure out how to open a window with his decades of knowledge.
Bella rolled onto her left side, turning her quiescent form to face me.
“My Jacob…” she muttered, barely a whisper but loud as anything to my hopeful ears.
I suddenly felt like a voyeur, like the bad guy in a movie. The happy bad guy nonetheless.
I brushed my fingers against her other cheek, hoping to illicit some more positive responses. Nothing happened though. I laid my flat palm against her there.
Being this close, after so long- I wanted badly to kiss her. I knew that would be crossing the line. That was indecent and creepy, right?
“So warm…” she whispered suddenly.
Her voice compelled me to my knees. I wanted to be closer still, to hear her more clearly. I laid my head on the edge of her mattress, the smell of her clean skin invading my nostrils.
Now I understood why Edward must sneak into Bella’s window after she’s fallen asleep. She was so beautiful like this, so innocent and fragile.
The thought of Edward sneaking in, made me realize that it was a definite possibility that Edward would sneak in at any point. Would I be able to smell him coming through the haze of Bella’s natural aroma?
Edward finding me like this couldn’t lead to anything good.
Heck, Bella finding me like this couldn’t lead to anything good.
Or maybe it could.
Bella’s quiet murmurs started to cause a reaction in me. I could feel my chest and my pants getting tighter. I was determined to try my best to fight my body’s gut instincts, for Bella’s sake. She didn’t deserve her supposed best friend stalking her with a hard on while she slept.
I could make myself not focus on being excited, but I couldn’t tear myself away from her bed. That would be the hard part. I had to wrench myself out of this daze and do what I came here to do.
Maybe I could just leave the box on the desk, next to that book. She’d find it in the morning and then, maybe she’d call me. But I’d miss her reaction.
Maybe she wouldn’t even call me. Maybe it would aggravate her.
Maybe Edward would come in and find it first- that was the last thing I wanted to happen.
Lost in thought, I didn’t even notice that my hand had taken on a life of its own and started stroking Bella’s hair. It was a risky move, but she seemed to enjoy it, her face relaxed and content.
“Jacob grows,” she sighed this time.
Jacob grows alright, this girl is a psychic in her sleep, I thought comically.
But my internal sarcastic self was beaming. I hadn’t spoken two words to Bella in over a month and here she was, dreaming of me. It felt like the opposite of what I expected. And oddly enough she was dreaming about me growing, which was something I was good at, so I’d take it as a compliment. Maybe I was growing on her. Was that too corny to think?
I had to wonder if she would be having this dream at all if I weren’t in the room with her, though. Quil’s words ‘out of sight, out of mind’ were starting to ring a bell.
Suddenly it didn’t feel right that my presence was forcing her into dreams. I didn’t want to force Bella to think about me, she had the right to dream about whatever she wanted.
I took my hand away from her hair slowly, and brought it to my side.
“No, please,” she cried.
And back it flew. She wanted it. I wasn’t stupid enough to deny her what she wanted.
This is crazy, I thought, I have to wake her up. If I wanted to give her the box, then I had to give it to her now, not later. I couldn’t leave it in the room- that was too risky.
I didn’t like the idea of creeping in and out of her window either. I wanted her to at least know that I snuck in. She didn’t have to know how long I stayed and watched her, but at least she’d know that I wasn’t being sly. At least I’d know that I wasn’t being sly.
A part of me wanted to put off waking her up for another hour. I could sit here and watch her sleep, watch her speak my name and whisper sweet notions all night.
But the unknown was too worrisome. I couldn’t chance her saying something I wasn’t meant to hear, or Edward sneaking up on me somehow. And I definitely couldn’t chance me losing my nerve and backing down. My stalker time was up.
“Bella,” I breathed. “Bella wake up.”
“Yes please,” she responded.
My heart soared.
“Yes, please wake up Bella,” I echoed, my voice a tiny bit louder.
Her eyes opened slowly, still clouded by sleep. They shut immediately after.
I waited, giving her time to wake fully.
Her hand rose off the bed and glided into my hair, twisting awkwardly and pulling me closer.
Then her lips were on mine, warm and soft and sure.
I froze in shock until I heard her grunting in disapproval, and felt her prying my mouth open with her slick tongue. Then it was all I could do not to react.
I claimed her mouth instantly, slipping into the bed and cradling her body. She responded in turn by wrapping her arms around my back and pushing against me. Her kiss was exquisitely gentle and rough at the same time. I was very aware of my excitement that was coming back to life after a brief hiatus, and I wondered if Bella could feel it pressing into her leg. If she could, she didn’t seem to mind. In fact, I think she was purposely moving against it. Her body was driving mine into a frenzy.
I couldn’t believe it was happening. I almost didn’t want to do anything, but let Bella have her way with me. She was moving so swiftly, rubbing her soft body against every inch of me. Her mouth kept in time with mine, moving slowly- her tongue making deliberate circles and every so often lapping at my bottom lip making me shiver.
I managed to make my hands work, and dipped one down under her nightshirt, leisurely running my fingertips over her skin. Her nipple was hard, and undeniably real. My mind was reeling. This is actually happening, I tried to convince myself.
Her hand ran down my bare back, stopping to rest on my behind, pulling me impossibly closer as she squeezed my flesh there. I groaned a little loudly at the contact.
Abruptly, all movement stopped. Bella stopped gyrating against me, and my body followed suit and became completely still. Our mouths were still fixed together but her lips no longer moved.
I opened my eyes, and saw Bella’s open seconds after. She looked exactly how I felt.
“You’re really here?” she questioned, pulling away from my face and examining me closely.
Now is a good time to back away, a little voice in my head told me.
I watched Bella close her eyes again, more determined than tired. So unlike before.
“You are really here,” she said again, this time as a fact and not a possibility.
I fought to think of what to say. I ended up saying the first thing that came to mind.
“I’m sorry. I came to give you this. Here.”
I thrust my hand into my pocket and pushed the blue box into her palm. Then I jumped out of her bed, and walked quickly to the window. I sat on the sill, half of my body inside, half out, ready to make a move.
She looked pretty shocked. I think she didn’t know what to say or do, but opening that little box was the easiest option I could give her, so she took it.
I watched her eyes as the contents were revealed.
First, a picture of us, taken by my dad at La Push. I could see it clearly, even though she was the one looking at it. I could remember the day it was taken, but we were unaware that my dad even had a camera. It was a candid photo, us sitting on a log laughing about something that I couldn’t remember. When my dad gave it to me I swore to myself that I’d keep it forever. But I was breaking that promise right now.
Second, a folded piece of paper, that Bella was gradually unfolding, then reading. I knew it word for word, I could envision it in my head because the image was burned into my brain after the fiftieth time I’d reread it.
A Poem for Bella
By Jacob Black
If you never think of me, it’s still enough
My thoughts of you are for the both of us
If you never hold my hand, it’s still okay
Just to hear your laugh will always make my day
If I ever made you mad, I can’t regret it
It all came from the heart, and I’m glad I said it
If I ever made you sad, I take it back
I hope my love makes up for what I lack
I want to be your friend, and so much more
But I’ll let you decide what you need me for
I’m always here for you, just call my name
I’ll do anything you ask, as long as it’s not lame
I’m not much of a writer, so cut me a break
I just wanted you to know that so much is at stake
My heart, my love, my life- all I have to give
Means nothing to me, unless you decide to live
So live! Be a good girl, do the right thing
Stay with your bloodsucker, even take his ring
But never give away that spark inside
I’m begging you, and throwing away my pride
If I lost you to them, my world would be a loaded gun
You can’t exist if I can’t see you in the sun
So to end this poem, just know I’m a happy fella
Because even if you’re not my girl, you’re still my Bella
Just stay my Bella, and I promise you
I’ll protect your heart, until it’s time is through
I studied her eyes again, hoping that they had softened. Now she just looked less shocked and more confused.
“That was beautiful. You’re a poet now?” she asked, guarded but slowly coming around.
“Not really. If need be, I’m a jack of all trades,” I laughed to lighten the mood. I turned and looked out the window, tired of studying Bella’s face. It wasn’t telling me enough.
“So, you’re really here?” she asked again, and I felt compelled to put her at ease. She was obviously uncomfortable with me being there. I could take a hint.
“Yes, but I’m gonna go now. I just had to give you that, and I gave it to you, so…don’t worry about what happened. It’s my fault. I was just trying to wake you up and I really shouldn’t even be here.”
She nodded, looking down. “I was dreaming about you, and then, I thought-”
“You don’t have to explain. I get it. I dream about you all the time so I can imagine what I would do if--”
“It was a good dream,” she interrupted my thought.
“Was it?” I smiled, finally feeling the tension leave my body.
She smiled back but she didn’t answer my question. I took that as a sign that it was time to go.
I watched her turn and place the picture of us on her nightstand before I snuck out the window and started to travel back down the tree branches. My mind was still spinning.
What a night, I thought disorientated.
When I hit the ground I turned to get one last look. I peeked up at Bella’s window to find her standing there looking down at me. I gave her a slight wave, and fought the butterflies in my stomach. She waved back.
Then she closed the window and locked it.
I had to remember to thank Quil.