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There is nothing worse than the pain of heart break.
When Edward leaves Bella, he takes her happiness with him.
She finds warmth and comfort in the arms of Jacob Black.
This is my New Moon, with a rather complicated ending.
BANNER MADE BY ME.
SIMPLY REVIEW MY STORY.
Takes place after Edwards sudden absence in New Moon. This is the way things should have gone.
DISCLAIMER! I in no way claim ownership or association with the characters or the world of Twilight. All credit goes to the creation of Stephanie Meyer for whose imagination I admire.
2. Chapter 2 "The Party"
Word Count 3418
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I laid out all the ingredients I needed to make a lasagne. That was a party food right? It seemed like a safe bet? So I got to work quickly, I wouldn’t have as much time as I wanted to make it so I had to get a move on. I had cooked this hundreds of times – it was Renee’s favourite after all. I threw a diced onion and some garlic in a pan something I used to love doing just because of the utter aroma of it. But food didn’t interest me anymore and I was sure I had lost weight in the past couple of months. I concentrated on dicing all of the ingredients perfectly and even thought of what other nibbles that I could make. Shouldn’t there be a birthday cake? It was a birthday party. I sighed as I stood there stirring. I wasn’t very good with distractions. No matter what else I thought about no matter how hard I tried, I still found myself breathless when an image of him would flash before my eyes. I looked at the mismatched kitchen chair that he had sat in the first time I invited him into the house. It was empty now, lifeless, just an old tattered chair. I picked it up and took it into the living room. I didn’t really want to look at it anymore. The mince sauce was ready by the time Charlie sauntered back into the house. He looked more flustered than I have ever seen him. Instead of seeing him carry just a few bags in, Charlie carried in at least ten. My eyes widened at the sight. How many people were we expecting? I imagined the music and the laughter and I had to swallow to keep the pathetic contents of my stomach down.
“Whats...all that?” I asked suspiciously as I eyed the bags he placed on the kitchen floor. I could see Charlie was trying, this party must mean a lot to him. But Charlie was like me, he knew I didn’t like parties and I knew that he didn’t like parties. This was all too strange for Charlie.
He looked cautious as well when he responded. “Well I ran into Sue, Sue Clearwater? Down at the shop and she offered to help me out a little. I don’t know what I actually bought...I hoped maybe you could make sense of her suggestions?” Charlie looked hesitantly at me then quickly glanced away to a spot on the floor.
“Remind me why we are having a party again?” I asked with a little bit more spite than I had intended. I knelt on the floor and began searching through the bags. I found a packet cake mix and smiled, though it felt more like a grimace to me. I sighed mainly to myself, I was going to have to learn how to be human all over again. How to smile, how to laugh, it all looked rather useless now. It was only then that I realised that Charlie hadn’t responded, he stood there staring at me and the reactions that formed on my face. I felt a sob forming in my chest and I pushed it down. I knew what Charlie was thinking. He was thinking that I was crazy, that it was wrong to let me stay. He was thinking about breaking his promise. Great – another liar. Charlie left me to my own devices from then on. I silently thanked him for it and got to work. I finished layering the lasagne and put that straight into the oven to cook. It took me an hour, but I eventually had some snacks fried, the cake baked and iced and had begun decorating the house. Sue had really thought of everything. The last of the balloons we going up when Charlie finally came back down the stairs. I stood back and looked at my work; I could never throw a party like Alice could. Pain ripped through my abdomen and I stopped my thoughts in their tracks and suddenly wondered if there was going to be alcohol at this party. The only alcoholic drink I ever consumed was a glass of wine at Renee’s wedding to Phil. I didn’t like the taste, but it seemed like my caffeine intolerance went for alcohol as well. That one glass went straight to my head. The thought seemed promising.
People did that when they felt like this right? Alcohol was meant to make things better, until the next morning of course. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to sneak away without Charlie noticing. So there were only a few options. I could stay and try to act human, but I knew that charade couldn’t last long. I could spend most of the time up in my room, using sickness or homework as an excuse. Or I could do a combination of the two. Spend some time, making the proper appearances, wish Billy a happy birthday. Then make my escape. Maybe I could take some sleeping tablets tonight? I deserved a night of uninterrupted sleep, even if it was medicated. I moaned when the doorbell rang, but tried hard to put on my happy face. Charlie ran to the door. It was the Clearwater’s, well that’s what I presumed as the older lady looked around as if she were judging my handy work. I took a deep staggered breath and tried to rearrange my face to make it seem friendly. I failed – epically.
“Ah, Isabella! You have done a wonderful job, I cannot thank you enough for doing this! I would have held the party myself but we don’t have the biggest residence and the forecast said rain tonight so we couldn’t have a backyard party..” Sue rambled on I tried my best to nod in the appropriate places and smile in others. I was slow, I nodded half a second slower than what I needed and my smile never touched my eyes. Maybe she would think that I was just tired, but she turned and looked at Charlie sympathetically and I wondered what I looked like. It was then while looking for a distraction that I saw the rest of the Clearwater’s had come too. Harry was a burly man, with skin that didn’t look naturally ochre like his wife or his children’s but seemed to have been withered by the sun. He looked like a gentle giant, however I couldn’t say the same for his daughter. Leah approached Charlie quickly and asked him a question that I didn’t hear. But it didn’t take me long to figure out what it was. She walked straight into the kitchen and picked up our phone, I made a bet that she wouldn’t leave its side all night. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. Her skin was a strange combination of her mothers and fathers, she was much lighter than her brother yet still exuberated the word exotic. Her thick eyelashes and long curly hair made me somehow feel inadequate. Oh how I knew that feeling all too well. I wrapped my arms around my torso and had to remind myself to breathe. My eyes stumbled across the youngest face in the room and I couldn’t help but smile, just a little. His face was impish, and his smile was innocent, he kind of reminded me of Mike, without the evil intentions. He kept by his father’s side, not knowing what the appropriate thing to do was.
Lucky this wasn’t a backyard party. Minutes later the heavens opened up and drowned out whatever hope I had left for a good night’s sleep. It didn’t take long for the house to fill up with guests, by seven o’clock the living room was so crowded that I started to feel claustrophobic so I jumped at the chance to answer the door when the doorbell rang. I opened the door wide expecting to just let another guest into the festivities but was greeted by the man of the hour himself. “Billy!” I exclaimed hoping that I sounded excited enough. “Happy Birthday!” I tried my best to smile but couldn’t help my anxiousness as I started past him to the outside world, to fresh uncrowded air. I stepped aside and allowed Billy to push himself in. I shoved myself outside as quick as possible only to hit something, incredibly hard and tall. “Ow..” I said as I rubbed my forehead. I was sure I just head butted someone’s elbow. There was a husky laugh, a comforting laugh and I had to look up to see where it had come from. “Ja...Jacob? Holy crow! You’re huge!” I exasperated as I craned my neck up to see him. Okay, so huge was an understatement. He was literally enormous! “You must have grown..what two feet?” I asked still trying to see if my eyes were deceiving me. Two my measly five foot four, most people seemed tall to me. But this was indescribable.
“Jeez Bella, only just on six foot. Too bad I’m still a bean pole though.” Jacob shrugged his oversized shoulders and shone a smile at me. I couldn’t resist but to smile back, it felt..wrong. I didn’t fake this smile, I didn’t push it up to the surface. It resurrected itself all on its own. The sensation of it scared me. I suddenly got a feeling of déjà vu, I forgot how much I really liked Jacob Black. “Where’s the fire anyway?” Jacob said looking off the porch to the direction I was heading in.
I shrugged, mimicking his earlier action. “No where, I just needed some fresh air..” I quickly blurted out, even if it didn’t explain the hurry I was in.
“Sure, sure” Jacob said still smiling. “Did you want any company?” The way Jacob asked it made it sound like he had already decided the answer for me, and for once I didn’t mind. I liked Jacob.
“Ummm...okay.” I said slowly, not quite sure if I could trust myself to keep my hysteria under wraps. I swallowed hard and went to sit on the porch steps. He closed the front door behind us and made his way to the only dry step on the porch to sit beside me.
“Looks like you have the whole population of La Push crammed into your living room.” Jacob began as he started pointing out people from where we could see in the window. It was easy talking with Jacob, he didn’t need much pushing from me to keep the conversation going and for once I was actually hearing what he was saying and far too dangerously I was enjoying the conversation. The conversation started to slow a bit and I took the opportunity to return inside. I was sure people were starting to get hungry. Jacob followed me in and helped me serve the food. It seemed almost effortless as our conversation continued. “Have you met Sam and Emily yet?” Jacob asked as I was cutting into the lasagne.
“Uhh...” I looked around the room to try and figure out why Sam sounded so familiar. But the room was crowded and everyone’s happy faces seemed to look the same to me. I turned back to Jacob with a slightly confused look on my face.
“You should remember Sam, he was the one who found you in the forest when you got lost.” Jacob said, not realising the impact his words had.
Stab, stab, stab, stab! I flinched slightly, like a dog that saw its owner’s raised hand. I hoped Jacob didn’t notice. I simply nodded and looked into the crowd again, I saw him then. His gentle serene face met mine, he smiled and gave me a small nod. I turned my head away, he brought back memories that I would rather forget. “Where’s Emily?” I asked quickly. I needed Jacob’s voice to fill my ears. I needed him to calm me down.
“She should be here.”Jacob said looking around. “Who knows Leah may have dragged her out back to have another all-claws out catfight or something.” I turned to look at Jacob shocked.
“Why would Leah do that?” I asked hesitantly. I knew it was stupid, but I was already slightly afraid of Leah. I didn’t doubt her capability in beating me up at all. Jacob went on to talk about Leah, how she was in my grade but a year older. Jacob dove into the story of Leah, well the little that he knew . I looked to the phone and Leah wasn’t there. Huh, I swore I saw her just a minute ago. Then that’s when the night came crashing down.
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN ‘THAT’S LIFE” A female voice screamed from the backyard. “IF I RAN OVER YOUR MOTHER DO YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST LOOK THE OTHER WAY AND SAY THAT’S LIFE?” The scream increased in pitch and everyone in the house fell silent. Who ran over whose mother now? Everyone stared at Sam, his face crumpled in pain, it made my stomach lurched. He looked how I felt.
“Um, if you will all excuse me...” Sam began in a dull defeated tone. He headed out towards the noise. But he took two steps only to have the noise join him inside the house.
“Tell her Sam! Tell her you love me!” It was Leah doing all the screaming. Her face was streaming with tears, but her eyes were hard and focussed.
“Lee-Lee, I...I’m so sorry.” Sam replied sincerely and I suddenly wished that I had listened to every detail of what Jacob had to say about Leah, I was slightly out of a massive loop that everyone else seemed to be engraved into. Emily I presumed stood to the side, her eyes focussed on Sam and never straying. She was undeniably stunning. She was warm and rich, suddenly reminding me of hot chocolate. She looked just as crushed as Sam did and I knew there was a lot more to the story than what I was naturally presuming.
Leah was on Sam then, in hysterics. Her fists found his chest and she didn’t stop pounding them. “You fucking bastard! YOU BASTARD!” Leah screamed into his face. Sam gently grabbed Leah’s wrists and put her hands to her side. He looked like he was trying to control himself. He whispered something into her ear to have her nod slightly. Then Emily, Leah and Sam walked back out into the backyard. It was only then that I saw Emily truly. She was beautiful there was no denying that, but half of her face was horribly scarred. I had to force myself to look away. No one else was seeming to stare in the same way I was.
“Now that’s something that you don’t get to see every day.” Jacob said a little bit too loudly. I smiled a little at his enthusiasm. He sounded as if he was having fun. Seth spoke up then.
“I see it at least once a month though.” Seth smirked and a few people joined in on the joke. The party seemed to have recovered when the food was finally starting to get passed around. Jacob scoffed down three servings of lasagne just to himself, quicker than I could even make a dent in mine. I laughed as he shoved the last crumbs into his mouth.
“Could you eat that any faster?” I asked as I watched him in disgusted awe.
“Mmm, probably – did we want to see if I could make a record?” Jacob smiled brightly at me. “Do they have a record for eating lasagne? I could try my hand at hot dogs, or steak..”
“Hmm, why not just try and eat a whole cow?” I suggested as I took another bite of my lasagne.
“Do you have a cow I could borrow for that? I could try and regurgitate it I swear you’ll get it back from one end or the other..” Jacob scoffed at his own words. But I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Ew! Jacob, gross!” I exclaimed, but my laughter erased any damnation that my words expressed. It wasn’t long till my laughing was cut off. It felt good to laugh, I had forgotten the sensation when he took all my emotions away with him. This laughter was lighter; it was airier than I could ever remember. I studied myself and was shocked to feel like I was at least half full, I didn’t feel so broken here with Jacob. I smiled and knew I was going to have to find a way to spend more time with Jacob. The night was ending quicker than I had expected and when I finally looked up to the rest of the party most of the guests had finished their slice of cake and had now departed. I looked up to the clock helplessly, I could feel the muscles in my neck ache with tiredness but I couldn’t find the desire in me for sleep. I tried to avoid sleeping wherever possible. Jacob was still by my side chatting away happily whilst helping me with the dishes. It wasn’t till we were done that Billy rolled into the kitchen.
“Thank you Bella, the party was more than an old man like me could have expected.” His old wise eyes appraised me. I smiled back.
“Oh there is no need to thank me. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” I passed it off.
“No need? I sure haven’t had a feast like that in a while. I’m sure you were the brains behind the cooking. If it was up to Charlie I would be eating fish...” He winked at me and rolled towards the front door. “C’mon Jake, we better be heading off. It’s still a school night.” My insides froze and I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to grab onto the neck of Jacob’s shirt or at least wrap myself around his giant leg and be dragged out the door with him. I knew this was an irrational thought but I couldn’t stop my immense desire to actually see it through. I took a long unsteady breath and looked at Jacob. I hoped I looked somewhat normal. But I could feel the panic painted on my face. It made Jacob smile.
“No worries Bells, as soon as I get the Rabbit up and going I’ll come and down see you.” Jacob smiled at me and made his way behind his father. So he didn’t feel the need to see me sooner? I felt the ounce of hope I had for this new friendship with Jacob disintegrate suddenly. But it was a good thing. I shouldn’t burden someone else with my presence. I was making Charlie depressed just by being around me, I would be selfish to enforce this upon someone else. I tried to smile back.
“Yeah, so I will see you in about twelve years then?” I tried to joke to cover up the anxious feeling that was heating the back of my neck. Jacob just snorted at my remark and headed out the door. “Sure, sure” I heard him finally reply whilst he was out in the rain. Then that was it, the relief that I had felt with Jacob had totally disappeared. At least all the cleaning was done. I found Charlie almost asleep on the couch.
“Dad?” I asked suspiciously. He looked at me then. “I’m tired, I think I’m just going to head to bed. Night” I hurried past him before he could respond. I jogged to my room and shut the door. I didn’t have a shower, I didn’t think I could make it down the hall without tearing in two. I stood in my bedroom not knowing what to do. I smelt of a combination of pasta sauce and icing sugar but didn’t care enough to want to have a shower. I slid onto my bed and screamed into the pillow. I was utterly alone.