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Carpe Noctem

Summary:
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There is nothing worse than the pain of heart break.
When Edward leaves Bella, he takes her happiness with him.
She finds warmth and comfort in the arms of Jacob Black.
This is my New Moon, with a rather complicated ending.

BANNER MADE BY ME. WANT ONE? SIMPLY REVIEW MY STORY.


Notes:
Takes place after Edwards sudden absence in New Moon. This is the way things should have gone. DISCLAIMER! I in no way claim ownership or association with the characters or the world of Twilight. All credit goes to the creation of Stephanie Meyer for whose imagination I admire.


3. Chapter 3 "Cracking"

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2666   Review this Chapter

Then it got cold. Surrounding me was the forest that had become a reoccurring part of my nightmares. But this was different – something wasn’t right. It was snowing in Forks again. I watched the snow fall; each individual snow flake glittered as if made of glass. I stood there waiting for the cold flakes to hit my skin, but the most curious thing started to happen. I was getting soaked by the snow; it was turning into rain where I stood. It was warm, much too warm. It left little red welts on my exposed skin. It was only then I saw him. He towered over me more than usual but his smile seemed warmer than the sun. I smiled back at him then and he grabbed my hand. His hand was almost as warm as the rain. We started walking slowly, we didn’t need to talk. I cuddled in closer to my tall protector as a shiver that had nothing to do with the surrounding snow fluttered down my spine. I smelt Edward before I saw him. He was encompassing, there was no description beautiful enough to describe his scent. I cowered towards Jacob and I knew then that I was dreaming. Why didn’t I run to Edward? Did I realise that he was merely metres away? Did I somehow manage to forget his smell? Then he appeared through a gap in the trees, he seemed taken aback by my company and a loud hiss rang from his chest. I watched myself wince and look at Jacob in horror. I wanted to scream at myself! I wanted to tell myself that it was okay, that this was Edward, that my life, my whole existence was standing just a mere few feet away! “Run to him!” I started yelling but I didn’t hear myself. I watched in panic as I stood there and did nothing. My attention turned then to Jacob. He looked furious. Jacob’s entire shape was shaking, he looked at me then in fear. “Run Bella! Run!” Jacob shouted as he took two large strides away from me. I watched, at least Jacob seemed to have the right state of mind. “Run!” I screamed, becoming irritated as I watched myself stand still. Edward advanced towards me at a pace that made his body blur. He stood now not three feet away. It was then that I really saw Edward. He was undoubtedly perfect, his unblemished skin glowed in the sunlight. I looked to his eyes to see them a bright red. He smiled my favourite crooked smile and leaned in for the kill. I couldn’t do anything, it was then that I realised that Jacob was telling me to run away, not to run to him. Jacob thought Edward was dangerous and as I stared into Edwards scarlet eyes, I couldn’t disagree with him. I braced myself, ready to feel Edward’s sharp teeth pierce the skin of my jugular. But it never came. A copper red wolf tackled him to the ground and I was running, Jacob was nowhere to be seen. I ran and I ran not knowing where I was headed. It was then that I woke up screaming. It was still early, the world was too silent for it to be any reasonable time of morning. I sat up slowly pondering my dream, it didn’t have the same effect as usual. I sat up in my bed and for the first time since...he left...I didn’t feel a gaping bleeding hole in my chest. I felt like they at least had a few bandages on it trying to stop the blood from flowing. The only difference in my dream had been Jacob and I knew that the relief of his presence wouldn’t last much longer, but I savoured the feeling, knowing all too well that I would regret it once it left me. I sighed and lurched out of bed, using the hour to spare I decided to turn on the computer and reply to Renee, she would have sent five or so emails by now. I knew that I couldn’t tell her much, my emails were short and always dull. I tried to sound happy but I knew that I could never get it quite right. Renee’s emails sounded more like a diary entry rather than a letter to her daughter, a sharp pain jabbed in my side. I was a horrible daughter. I quickly started to type. I told her about school and the assignments I had just got back, now officially an A average student – she would be proud of that. I told her about the party and meeting all of Charlie’s Quileute friends. I mentioned Jacob here and there and hoped this email made up for the lack of emails. I shut down the computer and grabbed my toiletry bag. I didn’t spend too much time getting ready. I forgot to choose my outfit for the day so I simply threw on a pair of faded blue jeans and a long sleeved grey knitted blouse. I could never be what others saw as stylish. It wasn’t long till I was down stairs frying up some bacon and eggs for breakfast. Charlie came down the stairs just as I was putting away the dishes from last night, seeing the lasagne dish I giggled as I remembered joking with Jacob about him eating a whole cow. I turned around quickly and smiled at Charlie. “Morning!” I said, surprised just how much light my voice was capable at holding. Charlie looked at me suspiciously; I could tell he thought I was faking. But he quickly looked down at the food. “Mmm, smells good Bell.” Charlie tuned his usual line whenever I served him a meal. I sat and ate as well. I knew Charlie wouldn’t say much more. Breakfast finished and both Charlie and I headed out the door at the same time. I held back and let him leave first; I was going to be early to school once again so there was really no need for me to rush. I waved to Charlie as he pulled out of the drive and jumped into the driver’s seat of my truck. The truck engine roared to life and I stomped on the gas to get it moving. I slowly crept my way through town, stopping at the local gas station because the truck was running on vapours. But even with my little pit stop, I was still the first student to arrive at school. I was making a habit at this. I piled all my books into my bag and staggered onto the school grounds. The sun was just peeping out from behind a cloud and even though it was useless, I knew I wouldn’t be able to feel the difference, I dropped my bag and rolled up my sleeves hoping that I could feel its warmth. The sunlight hummed over my skin for an instance before a cloud masked its existence for the day. I sighed but continued to find a table to sit at. Less than eight minutes after I began proof-reading my English draft, my quiet serenity was disrupted. “Oh..Hi Bella..” Mike said hesitantly. My face cringed slightly. Mike and Angela had been the only two who still tried to make conversation with me. I revelled in the fact that they seemed willing enough to fight for my friendship, but I also wished they wouldn’t. They would only be left disappointed when they found out what was left of me. The conversation with Charlie hit my thoughts and I knew that the only way I was going to be allowed to stay is if I made an effort to become more social. “Oh hey Mike!” I tried my best to sound enthusiastic. Mike grabbed onto my mood and smiled back. “You working tomorrow?” Mike asked although he already knew the answer, he asked me this question every Friday. “Tomorrow is Saturday isn’t it?” I asked, also knowing the answer. “Yeah...I guess it is.” Mike said, stumped at my answer. “Hey, is that the English Essay?” Mike asked staring over my shoulder. “The very one.” I responded trying to keep my tone light. “Isn’t that due next Friday?” Mike asked looking rather apprehensive from spotting my draft. “Um, I’m pretty sure it’s due on Monday Mike...” I replied, my sentence followed by a yawn, last night had already begun to dampen my day. “Damn...I was really hoping all of us could go down to the beach on Sunday – it’s supposed to be sunny.” I remembered the last time I went to the beach with everyone, it wasn’t exactly sunny nor was it warm enough to go swimming. But it was fairly pleasant. Oh! “Oh! That sounds like a wonderful idea Mike!” I exclaimed truly happy with the idea. “Are you sure you can’t work on your essay tonight and tomorrow after work? I’m sure we won’t be at the beach all day, you could finish it off Sunday night as well if you needed it?” I asked hopeful, dreadfully hopeful. I could tell Mike was taken aback. “Uh...well I guess...You really want to go with me?” Mike asked the last of his sentence was spoken in a rush, I hadn’t missed the part where he added ‘with me’. Well no, Mike wasn’t the person I wanted to hang out with. “Well, I haven’t had a chance to really socialise this year...” I started to say, I changed my course dramatically. “We should get Angela and Ben to come!” I exclaimed, Mike couldn’t help but feel disappointed but I think my happiness made him play along. “Jessica and Eric too, don’t forget them!” Mike said suddenly after a second too long of silence. “Sounds great! Let’s try and get them all on board, this should be great!” I said, now really truly excited. I might have to give Jacob a call and ask him to pop down to say hi. I didn’t want to say it out loud; I know I was stupid for even getting excited about it. But Jacob was the reason I was excited about having a beach trip. The bell rang then and Mike hurried off to first period. I followed him, keeping up with the quickened pace. My step seemed to be joyful though it made me feel clumsy – almost dangerous in my stride. I walked into biology and sat at my empty bench. I didn’t feel like hyperventilating. Huh, that was different. The lights turned off as Mr. Banner entered the room, the projector started a film about molecular properties and structures, it was the corny cartoon versions that tried to make science fun. I tried to concentrate on the screen in front of me. I could feel the electric static that used to tie me to Edward, but now it was connected to my own pain, I felt alone. The image on the screen became a blur of moving colours. I couldn’t help but feel dizzy. I moaned and place my head on the bench, concentrating on my breathing. It was harder to inhale than what it was to exhale, the dizziness wasn’t going away. I didn’t know whether it was the colours on the screen, or the absence of him that was making me dizzy. All I knew is that I was about to be sick. I quickly raised my hand, hoping that Mr. Banner would notice me. He quietly walked over to my table, not wanting to disturb the class I suppose. I wished he wouldn’t walk so slow. “Yes Miss Swan?” Mr. Banner whispered as he leaned his head down towards me. “Uh, I think....I think I’m going to be sick.” I managed to say, it felt better when my mouth was closed. “You need a leave pass?” Mr. Banner asked, now more worriedly. I nodded, not tempting to open my mouth again. My stomach felt like my washing machine on spin cycle. I grabbed the pass as soon as Mr. Banner offered it to me and ran out of the room. I didn’t know Mike was asked to escort me to sick bay, until I had stopped at a trash can to throw up. “Are you okay Bella?” Mike asked as I was still retching my stomach contents into the trash. What a stupid question. I stopped, it felt like it was over. My stomach relaxed. “Yeah, perfect Mike.” I said collapsing to the floor and wiping the sweat from my brow. This had nothing to do with dizziness, or loneliness, I was pretty sure that I was really sick. “Do you need anything?” Mike asked lost as to what to do. “I need to go home.” I said simply knowing that I wouldn’t be able to survive the rest of the day at school. “Oh..okay. Well we need to get you to the sick bay. I can talk to Ms. Cope for you there....Er....Can you walk?” Mike asked nervously. I nodded and started pushing myself off the floor. Mike grabbed my arm and wrapped it around his shoulder. “Ugh, don’t Mike you’ll get sick.” I exclaimed trying to pull away. “Don’t be stupid Bella. I want to help.” Mike said softly as he pulled me along. We had just gotten halfway down the hall when my stomach flipped again. Thankfully to my right were the girls toilets. “Uhh...Excuse me...” I bolted for them and made it just in time. This round was longer, I was surprised at just how much was in my stomach. I swore I couldn’t have eaten this much for breakfast. My stomach finally settled so I flushed and went out to wash my face. “I always wondered how you managed to stay so thin. I didn’t think you’d be the bulimic type.” I turned and saw Lauren reapplying another layer of gloss onto her already over-glossed lips. “I mean, I usually go for the carb restrictive diet. You should try it. Or is this your way of getting attention?” Lauren snarled at me. I ignored her and turned the faucet on, I wanted her to disappear. “What? Edward left you all alone, so not only do you turn against your friends, you’re turning against food too? Pathetic.” Lauren continued as she pocketed her gloss. “I always told everyone that Edward didn’t love you. That he was in it just for sex.” I couldn’t contain myself any longer. The bandages that I had felt had now dissolved into my poisonous blood. I could feel heat rise to the back of my neck. She had said his name...twice. I winced. Is that how everyone saw me? As some slut who got dumped, nice. I turned without thinking and slapped Lauren with all the anger that had built up inside me. She screamed and dramatically fell to the floor. I looked at my hand, which had become raw red by the force of my slap. Huh. I stared at Lauren bewildered. I wanted to say sorry, but instead I started laughing. I was delirious. Lauren got up and ran out of the toilet. What had I become? I walked out some minutes later. I knew Lauren wasn’t going to tell anyone. She would wait for it to bruise first. Mike was there waiting. “Err...what happened in there?” He asked now keeping space between us. “Nothing...” I replied a little too hastily. “Oh but you are going to have to arrange the beach trip...and it might be better if you tell them I’m not going, I don’t think I will be welcomed with open arms.” Mike nodded, presuming what had happened.