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This World

Summary:
After seven months of healing, Bella starts to notice some changes. She is taller than before, warmer, and stronger. She figures it's a fever and brushes it off. But when a strange visit from Renee reveals interesting family scandals, Bella undergoes a monstrous change. Then, a vengeance crazed vampire comes to town with one intent-kill Isabella Swan. When Bella is changed even further, what will happen? After things settle, she lives quite happily for forty more years, until her past comes back to haunt her. When old love is revived and new love arises, who will Bella choose?


Notes:
Hi, this is my first story. I expect it to be quite long, but I'm unsure. I do guarantee twists! As it said on my profile, none of the charactes nor settings belong to me. Sadly. :( Anyway, enjoy!!!


10. Chapter 10. Life...Just Sucks. Plain and Simple

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3064   Review this Chapter

Life...Just Sucks. Plain and Simple.

"Bella!" I heard amazement in a familiar voice. I wasn't sure what this person behind me was talking to...was Bella my name?

That sounded right, but I wasn't sure. I couldn't remember much. There was a vampire...and I was a wolf...there was a war...and I got bitten.

Everything was fuzzy and muddled suddenly, and it hurt my head to try and think about it. All of my memories were clouded, fading in and out of recognition.

I shook my head, trying to shake away the pain. I turned, and saw a familiar face. Leah.

She gasped, as did I, but for different reasons. That recognizable face of my newest best friend opened a floodgate. I now remembered everything, Renee, Charlie, Jake, Sam, Seth, Victoria, and...others.

In fact, I remembered much more. I was having odd flashbacks, going backward through my life. Yet, when it reached how far my memories had gone as a human, it continued. I remembered being born, living in the womb.

The flashes, scattered memories, brief glances, they all began to hurt my head. I winced, clutching at it feebly. I bent forward, hoping to eliminate the pain as I continued watching every moment of my life. And then, it stopped.

It was so sudden that I snapped my head up, and looked back at Leah, testing the waters. Nothing happened, except that she was gaping at me like a fish. I furrowed my brow. What was that?

"Bella..." She whispered, leaning toward me with an outstretched hand. This made me feel odd, and before I knew it, I was growling, on the other side of the room, crouched.

She stared at me still, with hurt in her eyes. I straightened, and apologized weakly. "I'm...sorry...Leah. I...I don't know what came over me." I said it so quietly, I could barely hear myself. But of what I did hear, my voice was amazing. I looked back up at her, and suddenly, understanding flooded her eyes.

"Bella...I think you're a...new born." She shook her head, and began to back away. "I'm gonna go get Sam...stay here..." And with that, she was out the door.

I mulled around the room for a time, looking at different things. I heard the door open and familiar beating hearts. And yet, there was one...

"Thanks for bringing me over Sam, I really missed Bella..."

I dimly recognized the man, but my mind was elsewhere. His scent had flooded my being, and suddenly, my whole body locked up. My muscles were contracting, forcing me toward him. The back of my throat itched, and glowed faintly, reminding me of the fire.

I was down the stairs in half a heartbeat.

Red clouded my vision as I collided with two warm bodies. One was substantially smaller, and I treated them as they were; obstacles.

I figured the smaller must have been weaker, so I leaned that way, snapping my jaws at the source of the aroma. I heard shouting, and my name cleared my head a bit.

I saw a man, curly brown hair, deep brown eyes, cowering against the door. My prey. I saw two people holding me back, growling, one a friend and the other a brother. Sam, Leah.

But I didn't care, didn't care about anything but that intoxicating promise to satiation. I knew I had to have it, and my growls formed low words.

"Give him to me. I want him! He is mine!!!"

And suddenly, there was a very recognizable voice, and a fourth heartbeat, calming me with the slow rhythm of words.

"Bella."

"J...Jake?"

"Bella, you don't want to do this."

"Why? He...he smells so good..."

"He's your father Bella, its Charlie."

"Ch...Charlie?"

"You don't want to hurt him, do you?"

"I...I do..." I whispered; shame washing over me in agonizing waves as the itchy fire died slowly.

"Sh, it'll be okay. No, you don't. I'm gonna take you outside, and we'll stick to cute little bunnies. Got it?"

"But Jake, he..."

"No."

I looked up at him, my eyes stinging as they tried to water but didn't succeed. I looked over to Charlie, scrunched in the corner, eyes wide, pupils dilated, reeking the sweet perfume of fear. My mouth moistened at the thought, causing me to growl lowly.

Jacob pulled me out with the help of Sam, as I just went limp, allowing them to carry me to the forest. I had just tried to kill my dad. The impact, the real weight of the truth landed on me, making me sink further into the wolves' arms. The man who truly loved me, had never abandoned me...I smelt him once and went for his throat.

I was dropped, but I flipped in the air, landing on my feet. I looked up at two uncomfortable faces.

"Um, we don't know where to go from here Bella...just...do what you do." I furrowed my brow, not knowing how my new body worked any more than they did. I took a deep breath to prepare myself, and smelt it. Sweet and thick, a female. A young female, so smooth and rich...

I took off.

She was coming into sight now, pink pigtails of bronze bobbing as she ran through the trees. "Mommy? Mommy, where are you?" She called. I smiled.

"Come here sweetie, I'll help you find your mommy." I wasn't sure where these words were coming from, they just slid from between my teeth slowly and sensuously, creating a velvet tone the strongest willed couldn't resist.

She looked over to me, and stopped cold when she saw me. She seemed taken aback, and I just curled a finger, luring her my way. I scowled at the padding of paws behind me, but I had enough time. I wasn't really focused on the girl as she ran up to me.

"Thank you!" she shouted.

I looked back. Emerald. If my silent heart were beating, it would have stopped. She had bronze hair, green eyes, and looked a lot like me. How the hell...?

I studied her, remembering when Carlisle told me of Edward's human life. She was like a mix between he and I. I felt sick.

I ran in the other direction, passing two startled mounds of fur. One continued, smelling the girl, the other followed me as I came across a delectable scent that would sooth the burning and keep me from being a murderer.

I pounced, not even paying attention to whatever I was feeding off of. I continued, growling as animals fought for their survival, becoming frustrated as the life elixir they had to offer spilled out of my mouth onto unskilled hands. I had gone through about seven animals, all nameless and faceless, before I was fully satisfied. Just as the last carcass plopped to the ground, Jacob emerged from the trees behind me, wide-eyed and stunned.

"How...how did you resist the little girl?"

"I don't know, I just..." I paused, thinking, "did." I finished lamely.

Sam burst through the trees then, face similar to Jake's. "I guess we won't have to kill you then," He stated dryly.

I laughed nervously, scratching the back of my neck; though there was no need. "Guess not," I mumbled.

We calmly walked back to the house, to find Charlie sitting on the chair, looking as if nothing happened. "Hey Bells," he called, "feeling better?"

I was shocked, to say the least. It was obvious that I had just tried to kill him, yet there he was, flipping through the channels aimlessly as if it was any other day. "Uh...Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be questioning your sanity right now."

Leah laughed with him, relaxing her stiff posture, though her worried eyes were still trained on me.

"I knew you would never hurt me Bells."

"But...I'm not...me anymore..." I said quietly, pathetically.

He leaned all the way around in his chair, eyes alight. "Sure you are kiddo! You were just...uh...thirsty."

I smiled, he was so sure, so trusting. I loved him so much.

I waved, not trusting my voice, walking into the kitchen where I sensed the pack. They were all there, looking at me worriedly. Leah entered, then Sam. I knew I was Alpha, so I cleared my throat.

"Any...any idea of what I...am?"

They all stared shocked at the voice that sounded like tinkling bells. I saw Paul's eyes flicker, but shrugged it off.

"I'm guessing you're a vampire...are you still a wolf?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," I said, turning to him. "Come on Leah, let's go," I waved her over, telling her to follow me. She got up hesitantly, following behind me slowly, watching each step I took carefully. "I'm in control, don't worry," I whispered, glancing at Charlie. I held the door open for her, and she followed me into the forest. I felt a pang when I got to the spot where I was left, but I brushed it off as we continued walking.

Finally, we entered a small clearing that would fit my wolf form along with another human. I waved her back, just in case. And then, I concentrated on phasing. Nothing.

I began to get agitated, and I growled. Then, it happened. The fireball, the cold numbness, the supernova. It was as exhilarating and frightening as my first changed, all the feelings heightened. I turned, and was on four paws. Leah was wide eyed, but sobered and grinned, "Guess you still got it." She laughed, and my strange wolfy laugh followed.

I followed her out of the forest, and the walk was silent, being that I couldn't talk. She walked into the house, and soon came out with the pack following her. They looked up at me, and their mouths' agape, before Sam whispered, "I guess...I kinda expected her eyes to be brown." They all nodded, even Leah.

I ran backward, finally deciding that I wanted to talk. I phased, and then came back. "I wanna see," I commanded. Paul ran, coming back out with a mirror. He handed it to me, and our hands brushed. I saw his eyes flicker strangely again. Odd.

I gazed into the mirror, and gasped in wonder. I hesitantly reached up, brushing my fingers along my brow, my cheek, and coming to rest on my lips. This beautiful woman in the mirror mimicked me.

She was gorgeous, pale white skin the color of snow, contrasting sharply with bright crimson eyes. A delicate brow, thin and arched eyebrows showing menace and authority, and under them, large doe eyes framed with thick lashes black as ink, leaving butterfly kisses on high and elegant cheekbones every time she blinked. Vixen pink lips formed an astonished O, revealing rows of gleaming white teeth, covered in a layer of venom. They were perfect and straight, the canines raised a bit above the others, making her look like a true vampire. Dark waves of mahogany colored silk framed her face, the darkest shade of brown with detectable tints of red. She was beautiful. She was me.

The sun came out then, and all of our eyes widened. The red highlights in my hair were brought out, my eyes turned even brighter crimson with the light, but I was much too preoccupied with the glittering diamonds all over me. Paul's eyes grew the widest, and he blushed, looking away.

I grinned, doing a strange happy dance. Even though I had no idea what I was doing, it looked as if I was a trained ballerina. Take that Sam.

I danced around more, closing my eyes and loving the rush of the wind. And then, a mosquito landed on my arm. Crash! Oops. I opened my eyes, to instead of finding a mosquito; there was an overturned tree, thick and tangled roots dropping bits of dust and dirt from three feet above the ground. It was a thick tree.

I smiled even bigger. "I'm strong!" I exclaimed. Sam's brows knitted together, "You already were strong."

I glanced at him, laughing. "As a wolf. But when I phased back to human, I could never do that!" I pointed to the tree. They all laughed, but I was busy. I picked up a stone, and threw it over the trees. It sailed with incredible speed above the woods, until it got smaller and smaller. I could still see it, but I doubted the wolves could. And then, miles off, I heard a tree crashing. Oops, I thought, grinning.

And then, warm, gushing liquid consumed my thoughts as red clouded over everything. Words and shouts slurred together as I pushed past everything in my way, looking for the source of that appetizing song of life. I entered, barreling down the walls and doors as my prey was too slow to notice me yet. I lunged for his hand, the source of the gushing ruby liquid. I latched on, sucking greedily as something warm pried me away.

I thrashed, kicking and screaming, clawing and snapping, trying to get back. I needed it! Why couldn't they see that? Why wouldn't they let me have it?!

Suddenly, something hard and warm collided with my cheek, and I was brought back to my senses. Paul, Jared, Embry, and Quil held me, grimacing. Sam had smacked me, and Jake and Leah were crouched over a twitching Charlie. No!

"Let me go guys, I need to save him! No, please! I need to!"

They all just shook their heads.

I hung my head, sobbing, "Please, I can save him. I need to suck the venom out. I'm sorry."

They looked to each other warily, questions in their eyes. Sam inclined his head, and I was let go. I ran to Charlie's side, pushing Jake and Leah away. I bent, grabbing Charlie's hand, and hesitated. What if I couldn't stop? I had caused this after all, and I was a new born. There were no guarantees. Then, Charlie screamed. It was shrill and desperate, as was his thrashing. He was bowing upwards face in a grimace. But that scream made something inside me snap. I could do it. No, I would do it.

I bent whispering, "I'm sorry Dad. I'll make it go away." I bit down, and sucked. The liquid was soft and warm, flowing like velvet. But it was tainted with something hot and sour, making me cringe. Disgusting.

When the nasty fluid contaminating his body was gone, I forced my mouth away. I gasped, but ran. I ran out the door, through the woods, out the city. I stopped somewhere in Michigan.

I found a clearing in the middle of the woods, with a small pond, framed by weeping willows, and a large boulder in the corner. I sat on the boulder, and evaluated my sucky situation. I had been left by the love of my life, and found a friend in Jacob. From there, it turns out he's a giant wolf. I meet and befriend the pack, and then Mom gets pregnant. She comes over, and look, I'm a giant wolf also because she cheated on my father. Then, she has the baby, and we come to find out she also cheated on my step father. I tell her to leave, and meet my best friend right after.

Not even twenty-four hours later, we head off to war. I get bit, and go through six agonizing days of pure torture. Then, I'm a vampire, yet still a wolf. I go for my father's throat, then can withstand it, and one little cut sends me into a frenzy. I bite him, and put him through pain. I saved him, thankfully, but had no choice but to run. And now, they all probably hate me.

How did this happen? Why was I not dead? Why did all this horrible stuff center in on my life? How could I be two of one species?

I mulled it around, but started to get increasingly frustrated with my inability to come up with an answer. I hunted, blowing off steam, and came back to my rock; my new favorite place to be.

As I sat and continued to contemplate, it hit me. Jake, Sam, Leah, Jared, Seth, Paul, Quil, Embry...they were all Quileute. Both of their parents were Quileute. Purebloods, if you will.

Me, I was not. My mother wasn't Quileute, only Billy was. So I was not pureblooded, and I still inherited that wolf gene. The wolf gene activated, and then I got bit. Somehow, the human blood in me must have...I don't know, evened out the playing score? I guess it neutralized everything, a happy medium...changing me without killing me. But the wolf blood fought back, making the changing time six long days. And now, here I was a half and half. Stuck between the sides of a war of two sworn enemies. A hybrid.

It didn't make any sense, I knew that. But then again, nothing in this strange supernatural world of mine made sense, some things less than my idea. It was the only plausible way, hell, the only way I could think of. But what now? So I knew what probably happened, but that didn't explain what I was going to do now that I had nearly killed my father. He must loathe me, and the pack must absolutely hate my guts. They would probably kill me if they ever saw me again. I had nowhere to go. And as if accentuating that fact, angry wolves burst through the trees, followed by a very pissed looking Leah.

"Isabella Marie Sawn! Where the fuck do you think you were going?"

"I..." she didn't let me finish.

"Are you mentally deficient? Worrying your family like that? Charlie had a heart attack when he heard you left. He thought it was all his fault, and her we are, fucking chasing your ass down. What the fuck is wrong with your brain? Are you retarded, making us freak like that?!"

"I...I thought you probably hated me."

Her eyes softened, and she sighed, suddenly looking weary. "It's been a fucking week Isabella. If I wasn't so tired, I'd kick your ass." She sighed again, but smiled as she held out her hand. I took it hesitantly, before smiling back as she hefted me up. We began to walk slowly, chatting about nothing on the way to my new life.