Oppressed by Love
Leah and Jacob have survived as a pack for six painful years. As the vampire spawn discovers boys, Sam and Emily expect their first little monster progeny, and Leah's sarcasm reaches new levels of acidity, they must overcome that much more simply to retain their combined sanity. Told through Leah's swearing, violent, and somewhat depraved mind, a tale of two werewolves being opressed by love. This beautiful, spontaneous banner was made by the UTTERLY AWESOME JokesOnJane, who made me the happiest person alive by, without warning, creating and giving it to me. :)
So this is a story I came up with after reading about Leah in Breaking Dawn. Although I hated the book, I did enjoy the Jacob and Leah parts. If you are thoroughly attached to Bella, Edward, and their bouncing baby spawn, you will probably flame me for this. However, I'd like to think that underneath all the darkness and sarcasm, there are some genuinely funny parts in this. So give it a chance - and please review if you love OR hate it! Banner made by JokesOnJane, who is simply a wonderful human being and did it without even being asked.
1. Prone to Occasional Lapses in Sanity
Rating 5/5 Word Count 2478 Review this Chapter
Prone to Occasional Lapses in Sanity
As a werewolf you had a formula in which to structure your life around. Substitute the facts for the variables, and congratulations! Here’s your picture perfect life.
It was simple, really. Transform for the first time. Imprint on some poor, naive, vulnerable female. Marry her. Have mutant werewolf children with her. Never age, live for the rest of eternity, happy, sickeningly in love. Kill the occasional leech that tried to suck your tribe dry.
Happy rainbows and butterflies, right? Unicorns, sparkles, cheesy Disney movies, werewolf love – all of it made Leah Clearwater want to gag herself with a fucking spork.
Because her messed up life didn’t have a formula. She didn’t even have a fucking sketch, or outline, or instruction pamphlet. She had to improvise on everything, and most of the time it turned out disastrously wrong. Perhaps that was the point of her existence. Screw everything up, and live in permanent torment and misery.
Oh, the joys of being the only female werewolf in existence.
Of course it was even worse now that Sam and Emily were expecting their first lil’ monster, and her Alpha was salivating over a hybrid tween, and Seth had imprinted on some supermodel from Nebraska.
Being unloved, alone, and bitter was okay as long as everyone around you was the same. When you were surrounded by people who could all be in some shitty musical, singing eternal love songs at the top of their lungs from moonlit balconies, it made it a hell of a lot more difficult.
Perhaps her life was just destined to suck. Leah had lost Sam, found an escape in Jacob’s pack, then been forced to deal with his constant thinking about his repulsive imprint. The girl, (Leah could never remember the ghastly name bestowed upon the poor kid by her absurd mother,) occupied Jacob’s every thought. Leah tried as hard as she could to control her temper and not phase, but no matter what she would lose it and then be forced to listen to a constant spawn monologue. Jacob was so whipped.
Leah stretched, and adjusted her legs that were currently dangling off a cliff. Thinking about Jacob’s monster progeny obsession made her want to dry heave.
It was close to midnight. She had patrols soon, but Jake would get over it. Besides, he was probably so busy making sure specks of dust didn’t land on his hybrid vampire freak’s perfect forehead that he didn’t care if Leah was absent.
God she sounded bitter.
Well, she was bitter. She was the only werewolf left that hadn’t imprinted. Even Embry had found a seventh grader that tilted the universe for him. Leah had what – acidic memories of Sam and a poster of a shirtless Brad Pitt on her wall? Pathetic. Though the poster was hot.
She arched her back, and leaned on the heels of her hands. The moon shone down. She felt like an absolute idiot – a werewolf sitting under the moon – but didn’t rectify the situation. She was too comfortable. Sitting in the cool night air, contemplating the shit-factors of her life was strangely less painful than the alternatives – discussing baby shower plans with her mother, or listening to Jacob yap about the leech offspring.
The worst part about spawn monologues were the occasional parts where Jacob would remember the little beast’s mother, and go into glowing commentaries of Bella Cullen’s mothering skills. First, Leah thought it was disgusting that her alpha had moved from mother to daughter the second it had escaped the womb. Second, she flat out hated Bella. Any mention of her put Leah into an absolutely foul mood.
Bella Cullen was the anti-Leah. Just like in science, where there was matter and anti-matter, there was Leah and Bella. Bella whined, Leah fought. Bella cried, Leah beat something up. Bella giggled, Leah glared. Bella had a supposedly timeless romance, (Leah personally thought her lover leech was a bit controlling and sexually suppressed,) Leah had a broken heart. Bella had a surplus of fathers that she got to keep, Leah lost her only one. Bella had a whole family that doted on her, Leah had a preoccupied mother who loved Seth more.
Perhaps the most annoying of all; Bella adored attention. She would go out of her way to garner attention, while simultaneously claiming to be ‘shy,’ She’d cry and whine and go into breathless shock over the stupidest things, soak up all the attention loaded upon her, and remain dissatisfied. She declared she was introverted and quiet, but all she did was beg and plead and squander for hints of concern. It was sickening.
Leah, meanwhile, was honest with herself. She felt unloved and uncared for. She was unloved and uncared for. Nevertheless she kept the self-pity to a bare minimum while connected with Jake, and struggled to deal with the problem on her own. She may be a resentful, angry, and cruelly volatile bitch, but she wasn’t pathetic enough to act like fucking Bella Cullen. She did have standards, for god’s sake.
She laid back on the sparse grass, staring up at the starry sky. Thoughts of Bella Cullen soured her naturally unhappy disposition.
She felt a faint trembling in the earth. Confused, she pressed her palms flat against the ground. Then she realized that someone, or something, was running towards her.
Couldn’t those stupid wolves get it? She wanted to be alone. She was laying halfway off a cliff for a reason! But no, they all felt the need to just ruin her mood that much more.
Jake appeared out of the gloom, his human face looking both upset and frustrated. Leah stared at him from upside-down, a glare fixed firmly on her features.
“You mind?” he gestured at the space beside her.
“Yes,” she snapped. It was midnight, it was her cliff, her spot, and her only time for peace and quiet.
“Thanks,” he sat down. His broad shoulders were hunched, his brow furrowed. Obviously, something was wrong. Leah was not the type of person to throw sympathy parties and offer gems of advice for the most tricky of situations, so she sat up and punched his shoulder. She wanted him to leave.
He shot her a look, “What was that for?”
“For invading my space and looking absolutely pathetic,” she punched him one more time for good measure, “what the hell happened to make you think it was okay to actually talk to me during my private time?”
Jacob rolled his eyes, “I’m your alpha. You should be prepared for me to talk to you regardless of the time if there’s ever a vampire.”
“Is there a vampire?” Leah demanded. As expected, Jake shook his head no. She smacked him again, “then go away!”
“Aw, c’mon. Please let me stay? I just had an awful day, and I’d rather hear your sarcasm then anything else.” He pouted slightly.
She shoved him, “Alpha-Supremist, go away!”
His face fell, “Seriously?”
Jacob’s face was so absolutely dejected, so forlorn, that Leah felt the one compassionate bone in her body thump the rest into submission. Her eyes softened, “Do I need to go angry Dr. Phil on your ass?”
He chuckled, his eyes empty, “Nah. Just . . . let me sit here.”
“Fine,” she laid back down, “but this is a one-time deal. Don’t be expecting this to become Leah-Jacob time in the future. Got it?”
“Sure, sure,” he laid down next to her, putting his hands behind his head, “never bother you ever again for any reason. Understood.”
Leah stared back up at the sky. She tried to fall into her previous line of thought, but failed to remember it with Jacob’s steady breathing next to her. He breathed like a fucking elephant with mucus in its throat – wet, and heavy. As hard as she tried to tune him out, she couldn’t.
“Your breathing is louder than your snores,” Leah complained.
“My breathing?” he experimented slightly with it, “I’m sorry – should I stop breathing, just to give you a little bit more quiet?”
“Yes,” she shot back, “quit breathing. Jump off the cliff. Give me my peace and quiet. This is the one time of day I don’t have to listen to constant spawn gush.”
Jacob was quiet. Then he coughed, “Um.”
She glanced at him sideways. Then she opened her mouth, outraged, “No!” She gut punched him.
He wasn’t even affected by her hits. Instead he turned to look at her with big, pleading brown eyes, “Please, Leah? I’m desperate.”
“Funny, considering she’s your fucking soul mate,” Leah snapped under her breath. He pretended not to hear that, simply gazing at her imploringly.
She growled, “Will your voice be less annoying then your Darth Vader breath?”
“No,” he looked at her blankly, “but please? I need help.”
She sucked in a deep, angry breath, and refused to respond. He took that as assent, and quickly began vomiting up words.
“Okay, so you know how Nessie will be full grown in a year? She’s been experimenting some with just like . . . I don’t know, girl crap. She’s a teenager, I guess. Anyway, she’s starting to get interested in boys and -”
“Wait, wait,” Leah interrupted, “what do you mean boys? She has one boy. She has you. You fucking imprinted, remember?”
He looked pained, “That’s the problem.”
“Yeah, so, the Cullen’s have been encouraging her to try just talking to other boys and stuff. It’s hard, you know, to have someone practically betrothed to you at birth.”
“The worst,” Leah said sarcastically.
“And she’s been feeling like her choices were taken away. Of course I understand that one, and I don’t even have romantic feelings for her yet, but she just told me, flat out today, that she doesn’t want me around for a while,” he closed his eyes in pain, “she wants to figure her life out.”
Leah didn’t even want to consider how depressed Jacob would be over however long the hybrid freak needed ‘space.’ She bit her lip, “She’s not, you know, ready to marry you and have vampire werewolf monsters together?”
“That’s the thing,” he turned on his side to look at her, his eyes frustrated, “she’s ready for boys. She said so. But she said she doesn’t want me as one of them.”
“Well it would be a little weird,” Leah pointed out, “going straight from second Dad to best older brother to boyfriend. I mean, incest much?”
“Yeah, I guess,” he squeezed his eyes shut, “I just don’t know what she wants from me. She loves me, and having me around makes her happy, but she doesn’t want me right now. She’s trying to understand who she is, or something like that.”
Leah smirked impishly, “She’s what, like five, or fifteen? She’s trying to discover herself. Maybe she’ll go through a lesbian phase.”
“What, like yours?” Jacob retorted.
She smacked him, “I didn’t have one, asshat!”
“Yeah, sure,” his grin wasn’t as happy as usual, “but anyways. The Cullens asked if I could try to stay away for a month, and see how Nessie fairs. If she gets a guy she likes, then I’ll be stuck in the big brother role forever.”
“I thought you said you didn’t think of her romantically yet,” Leah pointed out skeptically.
“I don’t,” he looked pained, “but I don’t want to a monk for the rest of my life! It sucks. It’s like, I don’t know, all my choices are taken away. I have one choice, and she doesn’t even want me. Where’s the justice in this?”
Leah could have gone off about justice. She could have ranted for hours about the injustice of her situation and her life, but she refrained. The idea of going on like that just seemed too Bella-ish for comfort.
Jacob sighed heavily and looked back up at the sky, “I’ll be a wreck for this month, just to let you know. Don’t expect the usual bunnies and daisies crap, okay?”
“I usually shove the bunnies and daises up your ass anyways,” Leah said dismissively, “they’re more annoying than your occasional spawn angst fests.”
He frowned, “Could you stop calling her a spawn? It’s insulting. It hurts her feelings.”
She rolled her eyes, “Not a chance in hell. I don’t care if the hormonal little monster gets upset.”
“I do,” he insisted, but then he faltered slightly, “but I guess I won’t have a chance to for a month, right?”
Leah stretched and yawned, “Nope.” Her lips popped on the p.
“Glad to see you’re so concerned.”
“Jake, honestly. If I showed a hint of concern you’d panic and send me off to the leech Doc to get me examined for some kind of mental crisis.”
He chuckled, “True.”
She sat up. She was getting drowsy, but she didn’t want to fall asleep. The moon was bright, the ocean looked inviting, and she was hot. She and Jake shouldn’t be allowed within ten feet of each other. The combined body heat was enough to drive her nuts.
“Are you going to jump in?” he asked. He sounded faintly amused, but there was still that annoyingly sad tinge to his deep voice.
“Yep,” she moved gracefully to her feet, “care to join me, oh alpha-all-mighty?”
He shrugged, “Maybe. I need a minute to think though.”
“Suit yourself,” she took off her shirt and shorts, folding them carefully at the cliffs edge. Her sports bra and underwear worked well enough as a swimsuit. Jake politely looked away.
“Don’t wallow,” she ordered. And then she jumped.
As she plummeted towards the surface of the water, she thought she heard a faint, “Fat chance of that.”
But then again, she could have imagined it. Leah was prone to occasional lapses in sanity.
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