Oppressed by Love
Leah and Jacob have survived as a pack for six painful years. As the vampire spawn discovers boys, Sam and Emily expect their first little monster progeny, and Leah's sarcasm reaches new levels of acidity, they must overcome that much more simply to retain their combined sanity. Told through Leah's swearing, violent, and somewhat depraved mind, a tale of two werewolves being opressed by love. This beautiful, spontaneous banner was made by the UTTERLY AWESOME JokesOnJane, who made me the happiest person alive by, without warning, creating and giving it to me. :)
So this is a story I came up with after reading about Leah in Breaking Dawn. Although I hated the book, I did enjoy the Jacob and Leah parts. If you are thoroughly attached to Bella, Edward, and their bouncing baby spawn, you will probably flame me for this. However, I'd like to think that underneath all the darkness and sarcasm, there are some genuinely funny parts in this. So give it a chance - and please review if you love OR hate it! Banner made by JokesOnJane, who is simply a wonderful human being and did it without even being asked.
6. The Spiral of Goo
Rating 5/5 Word Count 2166 Review this Chapter
The Spiral of Goo
It didn’t take much for Leah to decide she never wanted to imprint. Watching her proud, strong, mature alpha deteriorate into a heaping bucket of goo in the matter of six days without his vampire spawn pretty much solidified her conclusion. He was utterly unproductive, incapable of doing anything without the constant presence of his beloved tween vampire hybrid. Leah never wanted to be that dependent on anybody.
She had been reliant on a man once before. The fiasco had nearly shattered her entire being into tiny, undetectable fragments.
Thursday, the day before the spawn’s return home, marked the absolute worst day of Jacob’s descent into a liquid calamity.
He had dragged her to the crypt, practically broke down their front door, and then had collapsed on the floor inside the entryway and had demanded information. Pixie leech and soldier leech were much more careful than usual. Leah saw right through their soothing words, and immediately became suspicious. Something was off.
Jacob was too far gone into the spiral of goo to notice, and had lapped up all their feeble assurances without a moment’s doubt. Had he not been drunk with the pain of separation, he would have caught on immediately. Jacob was usually sharp, and prone to occasional flashes of brilliance. He would have interrogated them for the truth.
As it was, Leah was obligated to be suspicious on her own. Jacob was too busy being sure that Nessie would rediscover her appreciation of him as soon as she returned home from her trip.
Friday came, and Leah played her MP3 on full blast while Jacob blabbered about anything and everything concerning the stupid spawn. She couldn’t even hear him over the painful, blaring noise, and smiled in satisfaction.
The phone rang late in the afternoon. Jacob tripped over his own feet and slammed face first into the floor in his haste to seize it. Leah reached over and plucked it from its charger.
“Hello?” she rolled her eyes.
“Leah?” the voice on the other end sounded confused, “isn’t this Jacob’s phone?”
“No,” she snapped.
“Oh – well I just want to let him know that Nessie is home, and we need to have a family meeting. You’re both asked to come. There are some . . . things that need to be discussed.”
Fucking great. Leah recognized the fortuneteller’s leech immediately, and was disgruntled at the idea of going to the crypt with Bella and the spawn inside.
“What’d they say? What’d they say?” Jacob demanded. Leah hung up.
“Get your piece of shit – we have to go over there,” Leah grumbled. Jacob dove for his motorcycle keys, and scrambled out of her bedroom door like a crazed ape.
“Nessie’s back! And she wants to see me!” Jacob crowed. He did a happy dance while driving the motorcycle, causing it to shudder wildly. Leah hung on for dear life.
Jacob’s face was alight with incomparable joy as they clambered off the motorcycle at the Cullen’s house. Leah felt a pang of sadness, residue from her bitterness at losing her true love. Jacob had retained his, while she had lost hers.
Leah was so distracted by her mental jealousy of Jacob and hatred towards Sam that it took her a fraction of a second to realize something. The spawn’s heartbeat – light, quick, unbelievably irritating – was humming from inside. A fractionally slower, louder heartbeat echoed the pace from deeper within the house.
Puzzlement briefly flicked across Jake’s face, but then happiness overwhelmed him again.
“C’mon,” he ushered her up the steps, “go, go, go!”
Pixie leech, the prepubescent leech, and the Doc appeared at the top of the steps before they could go any further.
“Who’s in there?” Leah asked warily, keeping one trembling hand on Jacob’s sleeve.
“A visitor,” Pixie fortuneteller leech grimaced, “there’s two of them, actually.”
“Huilen and her nephew, Nahuel,” Prepubescent leech explained with a slightly superior, smug tone.
“We found them shortly after finding Kachiri, Zafrina, and Senna,” the Doc added, “of course, this complicates matters with the treaty due to their diet. Would you please come in?”
Jake’s smile had melted off his face the second Nahuel had been mentioned.
Leah knew who Nahuel was. He was spawn number 2, the male spawn, the stud spawn, the only masculine vampire human hybrid on the planet. He was youthful and resentful and angst-ridden, and an almost mirror image of Loch Ness’s ever-so-charming personality.
He was also, consciously or not, the only befitting partner to Lochness in possibly the entire universe. No wonder Prepubescent leech looked smug. If everything worked out the spawn would get out of her varsity football player phase, marry Stud spawn, and leave Jacob-the-mutt in the dust.
“Lets go Leah,” Jacob said darkly. He stomped into the house and headed straight for the dining room.
Leah followed, her every muscle coiled with anticipation. Along with stud spawn came Huilen, a parasite who hunted humans. Her absolute worst enemy.
They entered the dining room to an amusing sight. All nine Cullens – including Lochness herself- sat around the table like executives at an important meeting. Stud spawn and his auntie dearest waited, standing between the uppity prepubescent leech and the Doc.
Jacob’s eyes went directly to the female monster progeny. Leah watched as she didn’t even appear to notice – her eyes were zeroed in on the male spawn. Jacob winced.
“Nahuel, Huilen, do you remember the wolves from the Volturi incident?” Prepubescent leech asked, “Jacob here is an alpha, Leah is his beta.”
They murmured hellos. Nahuel glanced covertly at Lochness, who blushed and looked down.
Now Jacob looked nauseous. She hoped he didn’t throw up all over their shiny table. The jokes about her alpha’s ineptitude and weak stomach would last decades.
“So, Jacob, we would just like to talk about Huilen and Nahuel’s safety while they’re here,” the Doc said, “could you please be sure that no wolves harm them? They will hunt out of state, but it would be best if Sam’s wolves were made aware that they are here.”
Jacob was too busy glaring at Stud spawn, so Leah cut in, “I’ll tell him.”
“Thank you,” the Doc smiled at her.
“Oh, and about the other matter,” Whiny leech lowered her eyebrows significantly, “we should probably speak to the . . . person about it.”
Leah nearly lost her composure at Bella Cullen’s amazing display of subtlety. Who the fuck did she think she was fooling? Everyone knew she was talking about Jacob, and his questionable relationship with the spawn.
“We should,” Prepubescent leech agreed.
Lochness tore her gaze away from the Stud span, and trilled, “I will come as well.”
Both of her parents nodded, “Yes, of course darling.”
Jacob stood up, “Where should we do this?”
“We’ll go to the cottage,” Whiny leech decided, “Leah can wait here.”
Leah can wait here. She wasn’t a fucking dog that could be ordered around and expected to behave obediently, she would do whatever the hell she wanted!
“Leah should come,” Jacob frowned, “she’s been pulling this pack while I’ve been dealing with these . . . issues. She has every right to know the verdict.”
She felt an unexpected wash of gratitude towards Jacob.
“Fine,” Whiny leech scowled, and then whipped out of the dining room. Her two irritating family members followed directly behind.
Jacob glanced at her, “Its not too far – phase or not?”
She was trembling already, being surrounded by so many leeches, but shook her head, “No, lets just go. I don’t want to deal with clothes.”
They waded carefully across the river, and then raced towards the direction of the two leeches’ personal little sex spot. It wasn’t hard to find. It smelled worse than the house in terms of leech activity.
Leah beat him, of course, and then barged into the house without knocking. She was surprised at how unbelievably low the ceiling was. The house had obviously been built for the three vertically challenged, adolescent parasites. Jacob would have to stoop.
The three leeches had arranged themselves in their little living room, the two parents standing protectively behind the spawn’s chair. The spawn herself narrowed her eyes as they walked in.
Jacob sat, so as not to have to stoop. Leah stood.
“How have you been?” Lochness asked, ignoring Leah.
Jacob shrugged, “Alright, I suppose.”
The understatement of the decade, that one.
“Oh – good,” she didn’t look as if that was very good at all, “did you miss me?”
Leah understood the spawn’s game immediately. Lochness didn’t like Jacob, refused to date him, made his life a living hell, but would throw a fit if he didn’t love her back. She wanted Jacob to pine and slobber over her for the rest of eternity, while she skipped about screwing anything that touched her fancy.
Jacob understood as well. His face contorted minutely, but then quickly rearranged itself, “A bit. Not too bad.”
The spawn frowned, “Are you pleased to see Nahuel?”
“He’s alright,” Jake lied well, “but if he hunts anywhere near Washington, I’ll rip him to pieces.”
Whiny leech cleared her throat, “Jake – I want you to know that we didn’t intend to hurt you by banning you.”
Leah curled her lip. Jake played his part well, “I’m fine, honestly. It was a good week. Leah and I got a lot done.”
No, they hadn’t at all, but Leah was glad that Jacob was lying to save his dignity.
“I’m so sorry you’re in pain,” Whiny leech bit her lip and looked down at her folded hands, “so sorry. I wish I could make it better.”
“I’m not in pain,” Jacob laughed, “really. Now what do you want to talk about?”
Whiny leech sniffed, as if she was personally blaming herself for Jacob’s invisible ‘pain’, and then looked at him resignedly, “Jacob, Renesmee would like to speak to you about the future.”
The name Renesmee made Leah choke down a laugh, causing all three leeches to glare at her.
“Okay,” Jake leaned forward, “shoot. What’s up, Ness?”
The spawn straightened her back and glared at him coldly, “I would like you to know that I do not want to be near you for a while. I’m very interested in Nahuel, who is of my species, and I believe it is in our best interests to part ways. I care for you, but I require space.”
A well rehearsed speech, Leah thought, watching as whiny leech and prepubescent leech grinned in satisfaction.
Jacob didn’t let the pain show, “Okay. How long are we talking, here?”
“Until she’s ready,” Tween leech snarled, “you can’t put a time limit on this. This is about Renesmee – think outside your own needs for once.”
“Bloodsucker . . .” Leah growled warningly.
“Don’t threaten my father, you wolf child,” the spawn snapped, “this is none of your business.”
“Child?” Leah raised her eyebrows in disbelief, “I’m older than you are, kid. And hell yes this is my business. I’m connected with Jake, remember? One pack? I’m in his head half the time!”
This pissed the spawn off. She spat venom out of her eyes, “I want you out of my house!”
“Is the meeting done?” Leah countered.
“Yes,” she stood up, all of five feet tall, and glared directly at Jacob, “stay away from me for now. I’ll be dating Nahuel shortly, and I can’t have you in the way. We should both date within our own species.”
Lochness pointed at the door, “Leave, please. We’ll speak to you when Huilen leaves.”
Jacob nodded, his mouth tight and his eyes unexplainably sad, and walked slowly out the door. Leah lingered for a moment.
“You’re a selfish bitch, you know,” Leah informed her.
And then she stormed out of the house, making sure to slam the beautifully crafted front door so hard the frame chipped.
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