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Cullens chat room.

Summary:
Set in between new moon and Eclipse. Before the events in eclipse. Edward is hunting and they decide to go on a chat room to keep in touch. Everyone creates an account and some pretty random stuff happen.. Ok this is another idea I abandoned and wanna see how people like it. So R+R plzzz! Rated T because I'm paranoid.


Notes:
The cullens and Bella go on a chat room while on a hunting trip. Bella gets a stalker, Alice gets banned from shopping, Edward is tied to his car, Emmett's car is turned into a swan, Jasper is a good crazy because apparently 'normal people are scary and weird. They don't do ANYTHING. So normal people are crazy and crazy people are good.' and Rosalie...is well Rosalie. Oh, and Mike gets a restraining order. Read and find out what happens with our favourite twilight characters!


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-Lionking has signed on- -Bambi has signed on- Bambi: Hello Edward! Lionking: Hello love. I miss you. Bambi: I miss you too. How is Alice? -Tinkerbell has signed on- Tinkerbell: I'M TERRIBLE BELLA! I CAN'T GO SHOPPING!!!!! *sobs uncontrollably* Lionking: Before she came on she was sat rocking back and forwards mumbling about sales and handbags. Bambi: Right....and she's got another 6 days of that? Lionking: Yes unfortunately. Tinkerbell: WHERE ARE THEY? TELL ME!! I'LL DO ANYTHING!!! Lionking: No Alice, Esme left me in charge of hiding them and they are hidden where you would never look. Tinkerbell: *looks forward to try and see where they are* NOOOOOO. I CAN'T SEE WHERE THEY ARE!! Bambi: Huh? Why would she look forward to see where they are when you've already hidden them? Lionking: *smirks at Alice* Well, she's trying to see where I get them from after the week is up, but she can't. Tinkerbell: I hate you. -Tinkerbell has signed out- -Rawrimagrizzly has signed on- Rawrimagrizzly: THANK GOD. I thought she'd never leave! Bambi: Erm, Emmett? Why where you waiting for Alice to go? Rawrimagrizzly: Well I refuse to speak (or type) to her after what she has done to my...my...*sniffs* my babe. Lionking: Hmm...Emmett. I'm just going to give you a heads up. Alice is still pretty furious at you for getting her banned from her cards, and she told Rose that you call your car your babe. Rawrimagrizzly: WHAT? Why that evil, conniving, little- -Worldofmirrors has signed on- Worldofmirrors: Hmm instead of 2 weeks alone lets make it a month shall we? -Worldofmirrors has signed off- Rawrimagrizzly: ROSE! Rawrimagrizzly: AAAAH I'M GONNA KI-...RE-KILL THAT ANNOYING, SLY, PIXIE OF A VAMPIRE. Bambi: Hmm Emmett. I've got something that will cheer you up. And Edward. Rawrimagrizzly: *stops screaming and raises eyebrow* What are you gonna do? Fall down again? Haha. Lionking: EMMETT. SHUT. UP. And what will cheer us both up love? Bambi: Well it will cheer you up because it gets rid of the Mike problem, and it will cheer Emmett up because...well because he's got a twisted sense of humour. Rawrimagrizzly: WHAT? No I do not! Bambi: Err yes you do. You find people in pain funny and you thought it was funny when your wife had her hand ripped off by a highly irritated vampire. Rawrimagrizzly: That's not twisted. That's good taste. Bambi: Right... Rawrimagrizzly: Anywayz, come on Iz. Tell us yo story b4 I go choke it out of ya now. Lionking: EMMETT!!!! Bambi: Anyway... well Charlie heard me talking to Angela about Mike and what he did. So he asked me if he's annoying me or if he never leaves me alone. Which I said yes too. So.... Rawrimagrizzly: SO?! WHAT HAPPENED? DID HE SHOOT HIM? Bambi: NO OF COURSE HE DIDN'T! He got angry and called Mike to speak to him, but it turns out he wasn't there. So Charlie let it go for a bit... Rawrimagrizzly: So nothing has happened then? Well thats not funny. Bambi: I wasn't finished. I took a dramatic pause Emmett. Rawrimagrizzly: Oh. I knew that. Just making sure Eddie knew. Lionking: I'M CALLED EDWARD!! Bambi: ANYWAY. So like I said, Charlie forgot about it for a while..so he woke up to go to work and was walking to his car when he saw something in the bush moving...guess what it was? Rawrimagrizzly: Noooo wayyyyy. Newton was hiding in the bushes? Bambi: Kinda...Edward calm down. Rawrimagrizzly: Huh. How did you know he was angry? He almost broke the laptop. Are you here? AAAAH. BELLA IS SPYING ON US!!!! RUNNNNNN! Bambi: *sigh* Emmett, no I'm not there. I just knew Edward would react that way. Rawrimagrizzly: .....Ok.....I still don't trust you. Bambi: Thanks....*sarcastic thumbs up* Wanna see how well I know Edward? 5..4..3..2..1.. Lionking: WHAT? Rawrimagrizzly: Coooool. You must be some kind of psychic.... OMG. YOU ARE JUST LIKE ALICE. NOOO. Bambi: Emmett, stop talking for a while. Bambi: Edward calm down. I'm still not finished. You really think Charlie would ignore it? Lionking: ....Go on. What did he do? Bambi: Simple. He 'watered the bushes' with a bucket of water. Rawrimagrizzly: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lionking: Haha....thats it? Bambi: Nope. Mike is on a restraining order from me. Rawrimagrizzly: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. -Lionking has signed out- Bambi: Told you Emmett. You have a twisted sense of humour. It's not really funny. Rawrimagrizzly: Err yes it is. Its HYSTERICALLY funny. Bambi: Right...what's Edward doing? Rawrimagrizzly: I thought you had some kind of psychic ability when it comes to Edward? Bambi: Well no, I just know what he's like when it comes to Mike. Rawrimagrizzly: Ok. Well he's...Erm. I don't know where he is actually. Hang on... Bambi: Ok... (5 minutes later) Bambi: Hello??? How can it take this long to find him? Is Edward ok? -Tinkerbell has signed on- Tinkerbell: Hello Bella! He's fine. He was laughing so hard that he actually did break the laptop and has to buy a new one. And Emmett simply forgot to come back. Bambi: Really? Wow...I didn't think it was funny. Tinkerbell: No it's not really. But he has some kind of grudge against Newton so he thinks this is some kind of revenge. Bambi: Right... Tinkerbell: Its a boy thing Bella. They're weird. Bambi: Even Jasper? Tinkerbell: Yes. But he's a good weird. Because honestly, I think normal people are scary and weird. They don't do ANYTHING. So normal people are crazy and crazy people are good. It's a good cycle. Bambi: Right...well that explains you.... Tinkerbell: HUH? Bambi: Nothing. Tinkerbell: ....Fine. I don't trust you but...ok.. Bambi: Anyway Alice, why are you so happy? You seemed really upset before. Tinkerbell: Oh I was, but I am planning revenge on Emmett and Edward so I'm better now. Bambi: Alice!!! Please don't do anything to Edward! He didn't do anything to you!! Tinkerbell: Yes he did. He told Esme when I was looking for the cards, he told Emmett when I said that stuff to Rose and he has hidden my cards where I can't see them. Bella: Well...erm...he had to tell Esme about when you were looking for the cards because you would've got into more trouble, he had to tell Emmett about Rosalie because he would've blamed someone else, and he hid your cards because....he's...helping Esme. Tinkerbell: SO?! He still did it. So I don't care.. Bella: *thinks*....AHA. Yes, but he's buying you a new bag! So if you are nice to him, he might buy one you really like or more then one. If you make him annoyed or angry, he might buy one you hate or do something to it. Tinkerbell: Hmm...you have a point there Bella. Ok then. I'll only get him back for ONE of the things he did to me. And nothing too major. Bambi: *sighs in relief* Thanks Alice. But...please don't actually hurt him or make him angry or annoyed... Tinkerbell: So...you want me to do nothing to him then basically... Bambi: ....In a way yes....B- Tinkerbell: Bella! Come on! I need to have revenge! You're meant to be on my side here! Us girls gotta stick together! Bambi: Yes Alice. We are. If you let me finish before, I was going to say, I would like it if nothing happened to Edward, but if something like this happened to me, I would want some sort of payback aswell. So... I won't stop you. Tinkebell: Really? OMG BELLA! You are THE best! I'm going to take you on a shopping trip when I get back! Maybe we could go to New York! Or what about P- Bambi: ALICE! Tinkerbell: Yes Bella? Bambi: You seem to forget that we have very different types of...enjoyment. You are in love with shopping and I....utterly despise-No, I HATE it. So, if you take me shopping AGAIN, it would end up feeling more like a punishment. Tinkerbell: B..b...b..but...but..you...how....HUH? Bambi: I'm really sorry Alice. I know you really like shopping, but I really don't. I've never actually told you how much I hate it because you always seem so excited, but I really don't enjoy it. At all. Tinkerbell: Oh....And I've taken you all these times...And you didn't even like it... Bambi: Alice, as much as I really hate shopping, I like spending time with you. So even though it's sometimes painful to be 'bella barbie', I would do it for you. Sisters do things for each other they don't want to do. Tinkerbell: Bella....I....*sniffs* Thank you Bella. I knew you dis-liked it but I didn't know you dis-liked it THAT much. I promise from now on, to tone it down. I'll only take you shopping if you really need to. But...is it ok if I buy you stuff on my own? And...dress you up on special occasions? Bambi: Alice, like I said, I don't mind going if it's for you and for a good reason. I just don't like wasting money for no good reason. So you can buy me things on your own, and yes, special occasions are ok. But, I know shopping with me makes you happy so what about...3 times a month? And I won't say anything. Tinkerbell: YAYYY. Thank you soooo much Bella! That's fine with me! Perfect in fact. That's enough time apart from each other to see if their will be any new styles coming up! Thank you! Bambi: :-) That's really ok Alice. Do you feel better now? Tinkerbell: I do! I can already see our first shopping trip! You'll actually enjoy it! And Edward and Jasper will be there to carry the bags! Tinkerbell: Thank you Bella! I'll be able to manage for the rest of the week now! I'm going to go because Edward is going to be on in 5..4..3..2..1.. -Lionking has signed on- Tinkerbell: Edward! Just in case you don't know, BELLA RULES! -Tinkerbell has signed out- Lionking: Yes Alice. I am aware of this. Hello Bella love. Why is Alice so happy? Bambi: Hello Edward. Have fun breaking expensive electronic items? And she's so happy because I told her about my dis-like of shopping. Lionking: *ignores question* Ok...so why is she so happy? And it's never mattered before. Why does she understand now? Bambi: I told her how I really feel about it. I said that even though I hate it, I would go with her because she's my sister. And I said I'd still go shopping 3 times a month with her and she is allowed to dress me up on special occasions. And she is allowed to buy me stuff on her own. Lionking: She...but....she.... Bambi: Edward? Are you ok? Did I say something wrong? (3 minutes later) -Generalfeeling has signed on- Bambi: Jasper? Is that you? Generalfeeling: Hello Bella. Yes, I decided to come on here to tell you what Edward is doing. Bambi: Oh. Ok. Generalfeeling: He is slightly shocked. Alice has never actually stopped her normal shopping plans for anyone. Ever. Even for me. So we were all quite surprised to hear that...well she changed it for you. Bambi: Oh. Erm, is he ok? And hang on...ever? Alice has never stopped her shopping schedule for anyone? Ever? Surely that is exaggerating a bit. Generalfeeling: No. Never. And yes, Edward is fine. After we all got over the shock, he is now grilling Alice to see if their is any 'loophole's' or 'secret schemes' she is planning. Bambi: Right... -Tinkerbell has signed on- -Rawrimagrizzly has signed on- Rawrimagrizzly: OMG. BELLS. You did it!!!! You succesfully defeated the shopp- Lionking: NO EMMETT!!! Tinkerbell: Eurgh..explain Edward. I simply can't be bothered to. -Tinkerbell has signed out- Rawrimagrizzly: Huh what did I do? Lionking: You were going to say she defeated the shopping queen. Which would cause her to order a crown online and she won't be charged for it until next week, so she won't be technically BUYING anything yet. And when she does get it, Rosalie gets annoyed and asks why she got it in the first place. Alice says you said she was a shopping queen, so Rosalie gets annoyed with you and completely destroys your 'swan' car. Which then makes you annoyed and start yelling at Alice and start an argument. Esme walks in and tries to calm you down but she joins in aswell. Jasper tries to calm you all down but ends up absorbing some of the anger instead so starts arguing with you and Esme. Then Rosalie walks back in and everyone starts yelling at her which in turn, makes her join in on the argument. I walk in and simply watch you all, but Alice and Jasper notice me and start screaming at me and I get annoyed with everyone's thoughts so end up in the argument also. Twenty minutes later, Carlisle walks in and Jasper accidentally sends out waves of anger to everyone, so Carlisle gets involved in the argument and everyone gets even more annoyed. We argue for another half an hour and get so caught up we don't realise that Bella has brought her friends with her so they can do homework together. Alice calls you weak so you get even more agitated and are determined to prove her wrong. So you pick up the sofa and punch a hole through the wall. Esme then screams and walks over and places the sofa back on the floor and yells at you. By this point everyone is literally screaming at each other and half the room is destroyed. Then we hear someone clear their throat and see Bella and her friends, stood in the doorway. They saw you pick up the sofa and punch a hole in the wall, and then saw Esme pick it up and put it back with ease. They start to think that we are all on steroids and Jessica is videoing the whole thing, and we end up having to knock them all out (minus Bella). When they wake up we make them think that someone drugged their drinks and they call the police. Charlie comes and see's the hole in the wall- Rawrimagrizzly: BRING ON THE WALL! Lionking:.....ok. Anyway, as I was saying. Charlie see's the wall and Bella's friends and thinks we are being targeted for some reason. He tells Bella's friends to go home and buy some new food and drinks, just in case the ones they already have are drugged. He then tells Bella to go home and sit in her room. They both go and Charlie tells the station to watch out for any suspicious people who hate the cullens. Charlie doesn't let Bella go out at all until he is sure all the food in the house has been replaced. He bought the food himself because he wanted Bella to stay inside. Bella eats some out of date chicken and gets food poisoning. She ends up in the hospital with food poisoning and dehydration. I stay with her until she gets better and Alice comes with Jasper. While at the hospital, one of Bella's friends cuts his leg and Jasper loses control. The human ends up dead and Angela knows about our existence. We have no choice but to kill her and Jasper realises what he has done. He runs away with Alice. Rosalie blames Bella for causing all this and attempts to kill her. I throw her out of the window and she is too angry to come back. Emmett and Rosalie move to New York because Rosalie hates Bella and Emmett doesn't want to leave her. Esme is heartbroken that her children have all split up and stays at home with Carlisle, crying all day. Carlisle is disapointed in Jasper and Rosalie and stays at home for Esme. He quits his hospital job to stay at home. Rawrimagrizzly: ........Woah......... Bambi:.....wow...... Generalfeeling:......sounds about right..... Lionking: Yep. Bambi: Huh? Sounds about right? What do you mean? Lionking: That sort of thing nearly always happens when Emmett says something stupid. This is why he needs to THINK before he says something. Rawrimagrizzly: WHAT?! I do! And you should know that, MIND READER! Bambi: Right....so that sort of thing has happened before? Lionking: I'm afraid so. Once, he said aloud in class, that being a vampire has perks. Long story short....he ended up without arms and legs for a while.... Bambi: *snickers* Wow. Rawrimagrizzly: THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT HAVING NO ARMS OR LEGS. ITS HORRIBLE. Lionking: Oh I know. It's really embarassing and it is awkward. Like having, oh I don't know, a hand pulled of by a pixie vampire? To then have someone you love laugh at you as well. It's not funny at all. Rawrimagrizzly: Yes it was. In Rose's case anyway. A hand takes about ten minutes to fully reconnect. Arms and legs are painful and it's horrible having to have people carry you or roll on the floor. (3 minutes later) Rawrimagrizzly: ......Hello? Bella? Eddieeee? Jasperrr?.... Rawrimagrizzly: Hmph. Fine. See ya loserz. -Rawrimagrizzly has signed out- -Tinkerbell has signed on- Tinkerbell: Hahahaaaa. You guys, COME BACK. Stop laughing and come back. Or Emmett will come find you. Bambi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *laughs uncontrollably* Sorry....mental picture of.....Emmett.....rolled on floor....being carried..... *manages to type through bursts of laughter* Lionking: Haaaaahahahahahaha. That was probably the best day with Emmett ever. Generalfeeling: Hmm...No, I loved it when heard Rosalie remembered loving princesses when she was human and he dressed up as one. No actually, my favourite Emmett memory was on halloween one year, and he dressed up as the hulk. Bambi: Hahahahahahaha. No way. Really? Tinkerbell: Yep. Green and everything. It was so very funny when he ripped his shirt many times at peoples houses. Many people fainted, screamed, ran after him, hit him with stuff, or my personal favourite, threw eggs at him. Rosalie wouldn't touch him for days because he stank of eggs. It was mainly the boys who threw eggs at him saying 'our girls look like they got a treat so he's your trick'...it was so very stupid. Bambi: Oh wow...that sounds very funny. I can actually imagine Emmett just having green paint threw at him and voila. He's the hulk. Generalfeeling: You are surprisingly close. He didn't have paint THROWN at him. He had paint SHOT at him. We had a paintball fight and he decided to keep the green on and asked everyone to keep shooting him. We all complied willingly of course. Ever since then, green is his paintball colour. Bambi: Wow... that sounds very, very fun. I wish I was there to see it. Lionking: We do have pictures...I think. Esme and Alice were addicted to the new video camera's that came out that year. Bambi: Wow, what year was that? Tinkerbell: 1970 Bambi: Wow... Tinkerbell: Bella. You really need to log off now. Mike is going to come online. Bambi: Oh...ok. Bye alice and Jasper! Bye Edward! Lionking: Goodbye Love. I'll speak to you soon. Tinkerbell: BYEEEEEEE BELLA. Generalfeeling: Goodbye Bella. Lionking: Ok, I am going to go now as well. Goodbye Alice. Bye Jasper. Tinkerbell: Byeee Edward. Have fun hunting. Generalfeeling: Goodbye Edward. -Lionking has signed out- Generalfeeling: Ok Alice, tell me what is really going on. Tinkerbell: *smiles sweetly* Whatever do you mean Jasper? Nothing is 'going on'. I am just happy to be speaking to my darling husband. Generalfeeling: Yes, you are vaguely happy to speak to me, but you are bursting with smugness, excitement and a touch of evil. The perfect recipe for mayhem, and you called me 'your darling husband'. You only call me that when trying to trick me. Tinkerbell: Damn...I forgot about how I'm feeling...Ok, if I tell you, you can't think about it whatsoever. And not tell anyone. Generalfeeling: ....I have a feeling I'm going to regret this but...ok. Tinkerbell: Ok then. When everyone was all in shock over my 'shopping shocker' I found out where my card was. Edward had never actually picked where to hide it. He just pretended he had. So I looked at my credit card tracker and- Generalfeeling: What?! You have a CREDIT CARD tracker? Thats slightly scary weird. Tinkerbell: Yeah yeah, unorthodox, weird, scary, not normal, I don't care. Anyway, like I was saying. I tracked it with my tracker, and found it in Edward's jacket pocket. So when everyone was pretty much unobservant, I ran to Edward and got it. He didn't even notice. He simply stared in space. When he noticed me there, I said I was getting the yelling over and done with. I simply blocked my thoughts and he never knew. Generalfeeling: Wow...you really are a powerful little pixie. Tinkerbell: *giggles* Yes, I know. Thank you Jasper. You are so sweet. The first I buy with my card is going to be for you. Generalfeeling: Aww thanks darling. Erm...I think your plan might be cut short. I'm picking up major levels of anger and frustration from Edward. He might've noticed the card has gone. Tinkerbell: Bye Jazzy! I'm going to go shop where Edward can't destroy me! Toodles! Generalfeeling: Er...toodles? -Tinkerbell has signed out- Generalfeeling: Wow, I can't believe my Alice has a credit card tracker. I wonder if she's put one....on.....me.......... Generalfeeling: .....she wouldn't.....right? Generalfeeling: Nah, she couldn't have. I would've noticed. Probably. I change my clothes all the time, I take showers and she can't possibly have put one IN me. Unless.... *eyes widen* 0_0 Generalfeeling: OH. MY. GOD. -Generalfeeling has signed out-