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The After life

Bella was turned into a vampire during the battle between Edward and Victoria at the end of Eclipse. Her love leaves but he swears he'll come back for her. Seventeen years later she meets a human boy who resembles to her long lost love, or is he?


2. Awakening

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Chapter two –Awakening-

The only thing I was aware of was the pain. I didn’t want it to end, I didn’t want to face eternity. I still hoped everything was a dream, the worst nightmare I could ever had. I clung to the idea that I would wake up and feel Edward’s cold body against mine as every morning. I knew it wasn’t a nightmare. As soon as I opened my eyes I would have to deal with the eternal sorrow of living without him. I wasn’t going to be able to bear it.

I’ve always thought it was a punishment for my pride, how could I ever think I deserved Edward, immortality, grace? There was no way the girl I used to be deserved complete happiness.

Couldn’t Victoria have a crueler revenge? She was sure of something, she wouldn’t continue living without James anymore so acted as her life wasn’t worth living; she would risk it all. She enjoyed ending with Edward’s existence letting him know I would stay in this life forever, alone. While I was laying immobile suffocating with pain watching how I lost the meaning of my life without being able to stop it.

She put me in her place forever, switched the roles. The worst part of it is that she knew before Jacob finished with her, that I wouldn’t dare to end with my life after he made me that promise, we would meet each other again. I wasn’t sure about it but I would absolutely spend eternity finding out.

Edward said many times he wasn’t sure he owned a soul. I know that in the very moment when he was about to leave, he realised of the opposite. What we felt for each other needed to be contained somewhere, not only our brains, and it was going to last forever. With that thought my heart stopped beating.

I lost sense of time, could’ve been days or weeks in that state. Slowly the pain started to leave my toes, fingers, feet, hands and so on; until it disappeared completely. The next new feeling was the unquenchable thirst. Another discovery, I could smell everyone around me, all the Cullens except Alice and Jasper were there, and of course, Jacob.

I didn’t want to open my eyes until Dr. Carlisle talked to me in a very sweet tone “You’re alright Bella, don’t be afraid.”

I forced myself to open my eyes. They looked perplexed, noone had any idea how I would react, maybe my first attempt would be to attack them all. It was like Edward told me, I could hear everything, see the complete shade of colors, detect every vibration, and there was the thirst too. It was just as if he was going to get into the room in any moment and teach me everything about my new existence. I started looking for him everywhere, moving so fast it seemed I hadn’t moved at all.

Rosalie stopped me. “Don’t Bella, he is not here, don’t punish yourself.” I always knew she didn’t like me, but her embrace was so sincere, totally compassionate that I stopped looking for Edward. I turned around and saw the whole family, they were all devastated and at the same time eager to help me through the transition.

Jacob was standing in a corner apart from everybody, staring at me with such curiosity that I could only count 3 blinks of his eyes; he was devastated as well. He wasn’t very fond of Edward but he didn’t wish him any harm. Referring to me, he had lost all his chances and hopes, no way a werewolf and a vampire could end up together. He realised he didn’t care, he would happily sacrifice his feelings now he knew I was alive.

Emmett was ready to take me to hunt. No one could believe I hadn’t done any attempt to feed myself, specially having a warm blood wolf in the same room, despite the disgusting smell.

Suddenly, all the memories arrived like a flush to my head. Edward had been the love of my human life and now he was gone, and I was going to forget him with time like every other memory I had. I couldn’t allow that to happen. I decided to repeat in my mind every second since I met Edward. I stayed there between Rosalie’s arms while everyone tried to confort me.

I didn’t breath, didn’t speak, didn’t move and didn’t feed at all for I don’t know how many days. The thirst was unbearable, but I needed to suffocate it so nothing distracted me from thnking about him; it was a complete torture.

Carlisle talked to me everyday though it seemed he was talking to a statue. He told me so many things about Edward’s life and that he truly believed that we all kept our souls.

Little by little I started to wake to the world. I knew I needed to deal with my human family, make my loss less painful to them. I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life, but certainly I was not abandoning Charlie and Rennee just like that.

Somewhere between lines I knew Alice and Jasper weren’t there. Could’ve they gone to inform the Volturis about what had happened? What for? They surely knew. Did they blame me and didn’t want to see me anymore? My doubts were cleared up when Esme talked to me one morning for the first time since I became one of them. She was so gentle and kind but I couldn’t stand to look her into her eyes. She told me that they would be my family if I decided to stay, they would never leave me alone. When saying that she gasped, Alice and Jasper had already left. “Their departure has nothing to do with you.”

“Alice thinks it’s her fault, she blames herself for not knowing before it happened; we decided to give her time; that’s all we have.” Esme told me that Alice was deeply ashamed for not staying with me to endure, that she loved me and was looking forward to come back someday.

I don’t know what Esme did or said, but she made me feel loved and needed, so I finally could look directly at those topaz eyes. She behaved as my own caring mother.

She took me out to hunt for the very first time. It was scary, I didn’t fear I could get hurt, but the immense strenght and velocity I owned were overwhelming. After that experience I knew I was meant for my new existence, it was all meant to be that way.

I didn’t speak too much the days that followed. I was completely focused in my pain, I didn’t want to think in anything else but him. It wasn’t as the time he decided to abandon me for my own sake when I did the stupidest things and decided to shelter myself under Jacob’s company. I wanted to be all alone, to feel until the last nerve the dispair, the emptiness inside of me. I needed to feel it until the last consequences, until there was nothing else to feel.

Above all, I needed to convince myself that he would be back, and meanwhile I would prepare myself to be the one he would live again for.