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The After life

Summary:
Bella was turned into a vampire during the battle between Edward and Victoria at the end of Eclipse. Her love leaves but he swears he'll come back for her. Seventeen years later she meets a human boy who resembles to her long lost love, or is he?


Notes:


3. Goodbyes

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1488   Review this Chapter

Chapter 3 –Goodbyes-

Time loses sense for vampires, I hadn’t realized Jacob had been waiting for me.

When Esme and I came back from my first hunt I saw him. He had the saddest face I’d ever seen and he seemed haggard and tired.

“It’s all done, isn’t it?” He whispered while approaching to me very slowly as if he feared I would attack him.

“Now you’re too far away from me though we’re an inch apart, I guess everything was meant to happen this way...” he continued. “I still can’t believe that two days ago we shared a kiss in the meadow before everything went wrong; it sounds so silly now.” I couldn’t remember kissing him because that memory belonged to my human life, but indeed it sounded really stupid.

I wanted to speak, to tell him no way it could be meant like that, but I saw so deep pain in his eyes that I let him continue.

“I will never be grateful enough to thank for you life, or whatever it is now.” He said. “And I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness for not saving you both, I will always damn myself for being so selfish and stubborn. I plead for your forgiveness, I know I promised to be there for you and I failed.” Jacob grimaced.

Two diamond tears came out from Jacob’s eyes while talking to me and I could feel something inside me broke again for a second time, but it couldn’t be my heart, I didn’t have any. I was so lost in my own suffering that I hadn’t paid any attention to anyone else’s pain.

He was so certain about everything; he couldn’t be my savior now, and probably we wouldn’t see each other again. But I didn’t blame him at all, in any sense. My soul or whatever it is inside me only keeps the biggest gratitude I am able to feel.

“He lies with his parents, in a cemetery in Chicago” He mumbled between sobs. “I’m so sorry you couldn’t be there to say goodbye.”

A blaze of horror thrilled my entire body, I had never pictured his cold motionless body until then and I couldn’t take it, not even Jacob could hold me to stand up again, I winced letting my knees bend weak. He sat beside me to comfort me. I wished I had tears to shed.

So many years have happened since then and I still feel the same exact sorrow when remembering the scene. My beloved best friend Jacob was broken apart trying to support me as always even if it cost him his whole heart.

“Ch... Charlie” Jacob finally said, “I have to prepare you for what’s next, Charlie and Renee...”

“What, what about them?” I asked with terror.

“They think you are dead too, I told them the bad news. I’m sorry, I swear it’s been the second most difficult thing to say. I’m really sorry; I didn’t know what to do.” He continued.

Some time later I found out that the Cullens and the wolf pack had agreed that declaring both dead was for the best. They had to decide for me, so anyone knew, specially my parents what I had become; they wanted to protect them.

Though I knew it was better for them, I couldn’t help feeling so angry against fate; it had taken away everything I had, my love, my life and my family leaving me totally bleak. I can’t imagine how Charlie and Renee had felt.

They were told Edward and I suffered a terrible car accident while driving to La Push to meet Jacob. Billy Black and Dr. Cullen had supported Jacob’s story, and the pack prepared the scenario so it was credible to Charlie, the chief of police. There was nothing left of the silver Volvo but twisted burnt steel. It was said our bodies were unrecognizable.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, a tale of my own death. Renee and Phill arrived some hours later to the funeral services. Jacob told me they were very calmed and peaceful. Esme spent hours and hours talking to Renee, trying to make my own mother understand and accept her loss, while Esme was still managing to accept hers. Esme’s loss was real; she actually had lost her son.

“And how is he?” I asked referring to Charlie when I could finally calm down and articulate understandable words.

I knew Renee was stronger and she had Phill, but how could Charlie go on after losing his only child. How did I manage to continue listening I don’t know.

“He’s not alone, Billy has been with him the whole time, and Dr. Cullen has paid him some visits; I guess they both comfort themselves in sort of a way.” Jacob answered.

“I got to see him, I need to say goodbye!” I cried.

“No Bella! You would only make him more miserable, time will heal his wounds though he’ll never forget you.” Jacob said. “I will be there for him instead of you, I owe you this. I will become a son to him and I will take care of him.” He swore.

I truly believed him, I knew Charlie wouldn’t be alone, but still hurt so much. How could everything have gone that far? Why? Whose decision had it been? Who wanted to make us so infinitely miserable?

After recovering myself I asked “Jacob so what is the first most difficult thing to say?” Could there be more? And of course there was...

“The first and most difficult thing for me to say now and ever is...” he gasped. “Goodbye Bella, this is the last time we will ever meet again...” Jacob completed.

“Now your folks believe you’re gone, there’s nothing to attach you here; please Bella, leave, I implore you.” He begged while he took a deep breath not to surrender into tears again.

“The treaty wasn’t broken, the Cullens didn’t transform me; it was her!” I replied. “Why do we have to leave? No! Where is he going to look for me if I go?”

My ears didn’t hear, my eyes didn’t see. Everything was so appallingly painful already to bear another departure. But it wasn’t Jacob leaving. The Cullens had promised the wolves that they would leave Forks, and I was already one of them so that included myself. Of course I had the chance to choose. And I did. I chose to become Isabella Marie Cullen. They were the only ones I could attach to to continue existing, the only ones who would never let me forget.

I guess Jacob read the determination in my eyes; that was it.

“Now your kind will leave Forks we probably won’t need to transform into wolves again, so I guess we will all get older and go on with our lives; unless you decide to come back one day...” Jacob said trying to smile. “And I’ll be the happiest man on Earth if you decide so, I’ll always think of you Bella. I’ll remember your sweet chocolate brown eyes and the way you make me feel till the day I die. But above all I wish you find peace and acceptance.”

And he left.

I couldn’t recover the strenght to stand by myself until some hours later. The house was empty. It would be as if the Cullens never existed.

After giving the empty space a last glance I saw Rosalie.

“I feel as empty as this place.” I told her.

“I know and I promise in his memory that I will become the sister I’ve never been, I’ll do my best to comfort you Bella.” She answered. “Now come with me, you need to say goodbye to your human life so you can start over again. But first we need to go hunting so you can handle human proximity.”

And so we did. After hunting, Rosalie drove me to Charlie’s house, and I watched him sleep the whole night as Edward did with me. I gave him a goodbye kiss that made him shiver. I could swear he was dreaming of me because he muttered my name “Goodnight Bella, be happy.” Before leaving the house I entered my old room, it still smelled like Edward, like sun, like our meadow.

The next morning we went to the airport, I could see Renee and Phill in the distance and I waved them goodbye. Renee surely felt my presence and Rose prevented her from seeing me when she turned around looking for someone.

That was my last day in Forks. All became nothing more but shadows around me, darkness. The eclipse had started. Would I see the moon again?