When our darling best friend comes to rescue the heroine in her time of need, what will he find? Fourth story in the series Finally Free.Excerpt:"Cold and hard, there the truth sat, right in front of me."
Okay, this is Jake, follow his steps as he finds our darling Bella. Hopefully sad little oneshot.
Rating 5/5 Word Count 2203 Review this Chapter
Can someone go insane just by feeling miserable? By knowing you're a sick monster that no one can ever know about? By illustrating that you're a sick monster by pushing away the girl you love, who just happens to be pining after another man, and never speaking to her again. Is it possible to torture yourself?
My mind seemed to scream the word at me, slapping me in the face with it, stabbing me with it, and pouring salt and lemon juice on it.
But you can change it!
And how? I wanted to ask. Hmm, maybe you can really go crazy with grief, being that I was practically talking to myself. But I didn't care; I didn't care about anything but one person. And I wasn't even allowed to associate with that one person.
You've already told her the stories! Remind her! Or at least go see her! She's hurting Jake!
I know! I wanted to scream back. I knew she practically fell apart at the seams at the mere thought of him. Anything that could remind her-cars, forks, apples, books, T.V., teddy bears, computers, flowers, the color gold-of that vile leech immediately had her doubling over, scrambling to collect herself. And yet, I wasn't sure anymore. When I first saw her, it was like she was nothing. You could run at her with a blade and she wouldn't bat an eyelash! I didn't want her to get like that again.
I almost felt bad for her. Out of a simple favor to her mother, she was sucked into a secret world filled with evil, war, and bloodshed. A world that her kind don't survive in.
You can do it, just go see her!
I can't! I sobbed right back, not caring about being crazy at all.
And why not?
Sam said so! Dammit, why do you torture me?! I stopped running laps around the border. I had patrols, and Sam at least let me stop by her house every once in a while. I wasn't allowed to look in, or knock, but I could at least feel a little bit closer to her.
I torture you because you torture her.
That one stung, but the worst part of it all was that it was the truth. No matter what angle I looked at it, that voice was right. Cold and hard, there the truth sat, right in front of me.
I...I want to...you know that...but Sam's the alpha. I can't disobey direct orders! I just wanted the voice to go away, to leave me alone. I was also thankful that I was at least solo, save the voice. I'm sure the pack would have had me in the nearest mental ward, had they heard this conversation. Or worse, ban me from Bella's house.
Screw Sam. He is only the alpha because you allow him to be. Now tell me, keep Sam in power, or comfort Bella. Which one is more important to you?
I was ready to beg the voice away, give me peace and quiet to sulk in, while watching the side of Bella's house carefully, memorizing as much of her as I could get.
I gave up my rights at alpha a long time ago! I just can't! She doesn't love me like I love her...hell; she probably hates me by now!
The voice snickered, mocking me.
You are so naïve. You can take back your rights for alpha because they are just that, your rights! And Bella loves you, you've seen it. Maybe as a brother now, but maybe more later on. Maybe not, maybe never. But do you hear all of the maybes? And Bella could never hate you, don't act stupid. Hell, you know as well as I do, that girl could never hate anyone. Now, answer me again, Jacob Black, which is more important?
I was ready to crack under the strain this voice put on my mind, and so I ran. I was heading home, and I was a coward for it. But Bella was safer this way.
GOD DAMMIT! TURN YOUR ASS AROUND! SHE IS NOT SAFER! WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT, HER WELLBEING OR YOUR DIGNITY?!
I was sobbing, knowing every word this voice said was true. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Bella didn't deserve this.
I'm sorry. I whispered. And then, I just tuned out the voice's response. I didn't care.
I loped through the small opening in the trees, phased, and dressed. I was getting better at handling clothes with my enormous teeth, and there were only a few holes in my shirt, and a gash in the hem of my shorts.
I ran to my house, opened the door, and stooped to get through the entrance. Being that I was still relatively new to this way of life, I was still growing. I was about six eight now, and I had another six months to grow. I was going to be the biggest. But then again, that's what you got with alpha blood.
I walked through the hall, and bent through the kitchen's entryway. I was never really organized, but patrols were important, so I had gotten a calendar to keep track. I was planning on marking off my patrols for today and hitting the sack.
I went to the small pad of laminated paper, and saw the sticker. "Sturdy," it said. Yeah right, I could rip it apart just looking at it, it was so flimsy.
I fished in the drawer for a marker, finally finding a blue one. Blue. I felt a pang. And suddenly, I knew how Bella felt. She had worn a blue sweater just once, but the moment I saw a small reminder of that day, I hurt, knowing that I could never see her again. I knew exactly how she felt.
I shook it off, and marked a little blue X in the corner of the box. I checked the date to make sure I had it right, and had to do a double take.
The voice came back with a vengeance. Look at this you imbecile! She's probably in so much pain!!!
I know... I whispered back. Most girls would be jumping for joy on their birthday, but I knew Bella would be in Hell all day. When I was still human, she had given me a nice cover story, and I was surprised she though it all up herself. She was even a pretty convincing liar.
She had told me that she went to the party the leeches threw for her. She said that some of his siblings didn't like her, and they got into a fight. She said she was pushed, and fell on some plates, which adequately explained the scar running down her arm; Bella was terribly clumsy.
From there, the parasite broke up with her, telling her it would never work, he would never want her, and that they were moving. Sure, I was angry as a human, being that I loved her even then, but I was furious when I found out what the blood suckers really were. And that's when I put the pieces together.
He never really loved her; that was obvious, being that he was incapable of loving. But, he must have had some crazy obsession with Bella, because he stayed a while and convinced her that they were really in love.
And then, on her birthday, someone probably went for her blood. Why, what triggered it when they spent so much time around her already was beyond me. But it happened, and she fell, exposing more blood.
The one with the most humanity, the patriarch, probably cleaned her up, being that he was a doctor. How ironic was that, a certified doctor, who dealt with blood daily, being a vampire?
That incident probably turned him off, making him realize what a big risk to his family Bella was. I knew she had to know, but he obviously threatened her, making sure she didn't tell. But he wouldn't have to; Bella would never do that to anyone, not even the man who broke her heart.
And now, because of that incident, she was probably so broken and hurt. I could clearly imagine Bella, curled up on her bed, rocking back and forth as she hugged her body, sobbing the whole time. It was a horrible thought, and the voice began to scream.
YOU KNOW THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT'S HAPPENING! GO, GO TO HER JACOB! SHE NEEDS YOU; SHE'S ALL ALONE!
That did it; I took off down the road, thanking the heavens for my increased speed.
When I arrived at Bella's house, her truck wasn't there. Why hadn't I noticed that? I followed her scent, being that the beast I made for her carried it wherever it went. It went down the main road a while, before cutting off sharply to the left. I followed, and saw it deserted in the middle of the road.
I began to panic when I saw that Bella wasn't in it, but a map and a letter. I grabbed the map and followed it, stuffing the letter in my pocket for later. It did confuse me, was she just leaving a piece of mail behind by accident, or...?
As I got closer, the stale scent of bloodsucker burned my nostrils. Yet one fresh path stuck out, and my panic level rose. He was here?
I busted the door down, not taking the time to notice that it was unlocked. I followed her scent, and tried to ignore the one that trailed on top of hers. It was considerably fresher, telling me that they hadn't gotten here together.
I followed the written directions under the map, going up the stairs to the third floor and to the farthest room. Both paths led that way also. I wondered what Bella was doing, but my own frantic heartbeat didn't allow me to hear much else.
I reached out for the handle, but an unknown force stopped me. It was like something was inside of me, setting off every alarm it could, trying to tell me that it was in my best interest not to go through that door. I hesitated, fingers brushing the cool stainless steel of the door handle. But my resolve hardened with two words.
I opened the door slowly, dreading the sight I knew to come. She was probably on the ground or a couch, rocking back and forth, trying her best to hold herself together while her soul broke. She was probably sobbing, trying in vain to calm herself down. I needed to be there, but I didn't want to, while I did at the same time. I didn't understand what exactly I wanted. But I knew what she needed. And right now, it was someone to comfort and hold her. To love her. And if she would allow me, I would do that for her. Consequences be damned.
Finally, the door swung open all the way, and I examined the ground, searching for a heap of sobbing Bella. I furrowed my brow, and turned toward the couch dominating the room.
Oh god. Oh god no. No. No. No. No no no no no no no no no no no no.
That was all my mind seemed to be able to come up with, the word no. I stood like an idiot, watching the small motions. Trying to convince myself that this wasn't real, that I was dreaming, or so completely crazy that I was even seeing things. I blinked. And blinked again. It was still there.
Everything seemed to go on autopilot as I stood, thinking of anything that would keep me from realizing. And so, I counted the circles she swung in, growing ever smaller.
One. Two. Three. Four...
It must have been years. Or was it seconds? Time was off, stretching and skewing the basis of the universe I lived in. The whole time I floated, not really in my body. I looked down, and saw that I was standing on the ceiling, and she was held upright by gravity on the floor. Blue was red, red was green, and green was blue. Night turned to day, day to night, and everything in the room seemed to be laughing at me. And suddenly, I snapped out of my trance.
And in the moment my mind came back to me, all of the fake ignorance I had built in those few moments, all of the shields and the walls I put up, trying to protect myself from realizing the sick truth laid out in front of me. Cold and hard, there the truth sat, slapping me in the face.
My Bella hung in midair, mocking me with a happy smile as my heart shattered into a million little pieces.