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Beneath A Shattered Sky

Summary:

Many thanks to m81170 aka Mandi for the banner!
Edward and the Cullens left Forks for the second time after the battle with Victoria and the newborns – this is set two years after this. Bella was heartbroken but found solace in her best friend, Jacob Black, and they fell in love. Bella is utterly in love with Jacob, but her past is only waiting to catch up with her...


Notes:
Bella's POV, some other POVs later. Disclaimer: Twilight and all associated characters and concepts are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing with Jacob and Bella :P.


3. Longing

Rating 0/5   Word Count 5799   Review this Chapter

I loved you; even now I may confess,
Some embers of my love their fire retain;
But do not let it cause you more distress,
I do not want to sadden you again.
Hopeless and tongue-tied, yet I loved you dearly
With pangs the jealous and the timid know;
So tenderly I loved you, so sincerely,
I pray God grant another love you so.

'I Loved You' - Alexander Pushkin

Ithaca, New York - Alice's POV

I sighed, absent-mindedly shredding a flower between my strong fingers. It was four o'clock in the afternoon and I was bored. Being bored didn't happen very often for me, as I normally tried to throw myself with gusto into fashion, design, and other pursuits that I enjoyed. I had been working on some new designs for the wardrobes of Rosalie, Esme and myself, but I didn't feel like that just now. When you have eternity before you, it's normally pretty easy to be patient about doing nothing for hours at a time. But no Jasper to play with either, I pouted.

Jasper was over at Cornell now for his philosophy master's course. I was so proud of him; he'd come such a long way. He still found being around humans terribly difficult, but it was easier now that I didn't have to watch him constantly through my thoughts, focusing on the minutiae of every decision he made. I looked over and saw Edward on the other side of the living room playing the piano, composing something new as always.

I can't believe how much he plays that freakin' thing, I thought, shaking my head, though I felt sad for my brother. When he thought we couldn't hear him, he'd play her lullaby to himself, over and over, till his shoulders were shaking with emotion. I thought it was only I who'd heard him once when he thought we'd all gone out to hunt and I had come back for something, but I told Esme, and she told me that she knew, too. I hated to see Edward hurting like this, but I was nowhere near as pissed as I'd been at him that time when he came back and told me that we all had to leave again.

Carlisle and Esme understood, for such was the nature of our existence as vampires that we had to be ready to leave at any time. We still had the house in Ithaca from last time, and both Cornell and the hospital were glad to have Carlisle back.

I'd been so sure that Bella really loved my brother, that he was making a huge mistake, but I'd soon seen evidence to the contrary. She fell in pretty quickly with the wolf Jacob Black, and that was that. I was attuned to Bella's mind as we'd previously been great friends, so I checked in on her with my abilities from time to time. I felt a slight pang at that thought. I knew I could be a bit crazy with my overexcited fashion advice and sleepovers, but she was really the only girlfriend I'd ever had. I really missed my Bella.

I knew Edward would be depressed, but I'd underestimated the depths of his despair. In the past two years, he'd lived a half-existence, barely alive. We were back to the old Edward we'd had before Bella came along. Before she came along and brought him to life. Tortured, self-loathing, always blaming himself for everything. Whenever any of us had tried to talk to him about it, he'd automatically shut down, his expression blank like a mask. I'd even got Jazz to try and alter Edward's mood. Of course, it was only temporary and Edward always realized what he was doing, so he'd given up after a while.

Esme was terribly worried about Edward, and her motherly concern showed every time she spoke to him. She'd bought him a new piano, tried to encourage him to enroll in a new college course, but he only wanted to play music-to connect with the one thing that reminded him of Bella. We were all past knowing what to do.

I closed my eyes, letting my mind focus on Bella. The thoughts were murky, chaotic...then suddenly I saw her. She was sitting on her bed, and she was crying. I winced at the thought of my friend being so unhappy. In between sobs, she muttered something. "Edward." I couldn't believe it. "Edward. I miss you. I'm sorry." From when I'd checked in on her recently I knew she and Jacob were still together, so this was a strange development. In the seconds that followed, I saw something else, too, something even more surprising...but it hadn't happened yet.

I opened my eyes again to see Edward staring at me, full of curiosity.

"What did you see, Alice?" he said quietly, snapping the lid of the piano shut. "Don't lie to me, I know you've been checking in on...her."

Was I really about to say this? "Edward," I began. "I just saw Bella. She's unhappy, and she's thinking about you. She said out loud to herself that she missed you."

And in that moment, my brother's golden eyes filled with pain. "Th-that wasn't part of the plan. I left her because I thought she wanted him. So she could be happy."

"I'm only telling you this because I feel like you've got a right to know. And I know you've never stopped loving her." With that, I left the room to allow my brother to be alone and think this over. I pondered what I'd seen. How sure was it that this would happen? Hard to tell. But somehow, I knew it was right.

A week later, Forks - Bella's POV

I rolled over in bed, sighing contentedly. I'd finished my homework and had dinner alone. Charlie had called to say he was crashing on Billy's couch after the game, as the storm was too bad for him to drive back. I thought I'd done quite well this week. After that bizarre outburst when I'd walked in the woods, my feelings had seemed to pass. Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to see Jake much this week as he was working a lot of overtime at the garage. However, when I'd seen him, it had felt good to be with him. What I'd thought before had to be wrong, Jake made me really happy.

Bella, you're lying to yourself, said a small voice in my head.

Shut up, I thought defiantly. But the small voice was becoming louder by the second.

Edward Cullen. Edward. Edward.

No! I'd barely thought of him in the last week, and I was proud of myself. I guessed it was only natural that I thought about the man who'd broken my heart twice. No, broken was the wrong word. He'd torn my heart to shreds. Still, I had been relatively happy this week, keeping busy with my college work, and pulling a couple of extra shifts at the Lodge. The only time I couldn't ignore it was in my sleep. My dreams were full of him.

Putting my textbook on the floor, I switched off my bedside lamp and curled up under the covers. As I waited for sleep to find me, I could hear the wind whistling. It was going to be a stormy night. The branch of a tree scraped my window. And then again. But wait, it sounds like tapping...And suddenly, my window was pulled upward too fast for me to even see.

"Bella," a velvet voice murmured, one that I had never expected to hear again in all the days of my life.

My heart stopped for just a second, my breath catching in my chest. In the next second, Edward Cullen gracefully stepped into my room. I gasped as I took in his long, lithe body clad in a simple t-shirt and jeans, his unkempt bronze hair, his dazzlingly perfect features.

And in that instant, all reason left me. Nothing mattered. Not Jake, not the fact that Edward had left me heartbroken twice before. There was only him.

I threw my covers off and ran toward him. In two long strides, he closed the distance between us and our lips met. He kissed me, first tenderly, and then with a passion that kindled a searing fire in my belly. In all I could remember, Edward had never kissed me like this before. He was always tentative, careful. Right now he was anything but as his lips roughly pressed against mine, like he couldn't get enough of me. His hands were in my hair, at the small of my back, everywhere. His mouth trailed over my jaw line, causing a jolt of electricity to run through me. My heart was pounding unevenly, and I was sure he could feel it hammering in my chest.

All too soon, he pulled back, gently holding my arms to my sides.

"Why are you here?" I asked when I finally found my voice.

At this, his golden eyes looked pained and he turned from me, moving to sit on my bed.

"I still don't really know why I'm here. What madness drove me to get on a plane to Seattle, to run all the way here. To come and screw up things for you. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I should go now."

He moved to get up, but I shook my head.

"Edward," was all I said, but it seemed that his name from my lips softened him instantly, and he sat back down. "Stay."

"I wasn't ever going to come back, I swear to you. I thought I'd be content to know that you were happy. Well, not content, but - that I'd feel some sense that I was right to leave you. But Alice checks in on you, you know. She can see what happens to you."

I smiled a little at the thought that my best friend still kept an eye on me. I missed Alice so much.

"She never told me, and I never asked," he went on. "So I assumed you were happy. But a week ago, she told me you were in agony. She told me - that you said my name."

I flushed scarlet at this. "I was worried about how I'd control myself after seeing you for so long," he added, gesturing to the blush on my cheeks. "But it's surprisingly easy."

"I keep thinking that I'm dreaming," I whispered, almost to myself. "That you're going to disappear."

Edward took both my hands in his, his eyes serious. "Does Jacob Black make you happy, Bella?"

"Yes. He was there for me when you weren't," I said acidly. Edward's face came closer to mine, and I couldn't move.

"But what I want to know," he said in a throaty whisper, "is does he kiss you like this?" And with that, his cold lips were on mine in a kiss so filled with need and passion that I felt dizzy, my head spinning as I tasted his delicious scent on my tongue. My thoughts were full of how wrong this was. But it felt so right.

"Does he make you feel like this, Bella?" Edward growled, gripping my wrists once again, satisfied that my cheeks were flushed and I was breathing heavily. I realized that he could smell the arousal that was starting to dampen the juncture between my thighs, and I reddened in acute embarrassment. "You smell delicious," he breathed in my ear.

More wetness flooded my core as I heard his angelic voice speak those words to me. Edward had never been like this when we were together. He pushed me back onto the bed. The next second, I felt him unbutton my pants and slide them down my legs. Bella, what the hell! You're with Jake, not Edward - you can't do this. But I ignored the frantic thoughts in my head, instead, giving myself over to this god of a man who was in my room.

He reached out to touch the thin silky fabric of my soaked panties, eliciting a gasp from me. As his fingers slowly began to massage my clit through the fabric, I couldn't breathe. Edward was touching me. Edward, who would normally push me away gently before things got too heated. Edward, who never let himself lose control.

But I couldn't just let this happen without saying anything. "Edward?" I asked tentatively. He looked up, and his eyes flashed with a dark lust I had never seen before. Taking his hand away, he replied.

"Yes?"

"What happened to being so concerned about your virtue?"

He sighed impatiently. "It doesn't matter to me anymore, Bella. I wasn't sure before whether I could control myself being that close to you, but I know that I can. I've fantasized about you in so many different ways for the last two years, torturing myself with what I couldn't have. I've imagined that dog making love to you, holding you in his arms, seeing your naked body. I wished it had been me. I can't take it, especially now I know Jacob doesn't even make you happy" -I opened my mouth to protest at this, but he pressed a finger to my lips-"You were the only person I ever wanted to give my virtue to, Bella. I told you that day that I wouldn't take your soul. But you may have my virtue. It's all I have left, but I gladly give it to you."

"Edward," I simply said, my eyes filling with tears as I saw the pain in his eyes. How much pain had he endured these past two years? Part of me wanted to be glad that his decision had caused him so much pain. But I only knew that I wanted him, too. In that instant, it hit me like a blinding flash. I loved Edward. I had always loved him. And right now, he was what I needed.

"Make love to me," I said.

I pulled him to me, and he kissed me long and slowly, our tongues intermingling. He tasted like perfection, like the sweetest nectar imaginable. I tugged his t-shirt over his head, running my hands over the planes of his muscular chest, and he sighed. I pulled my pajama top off impatiently, and his eyes flashed darkly as he saw my small breasts for the first time. The next moment, I became aware that Edward had hooked his thumbs into my panties and was sliding them down my legs. As he threw them to the floor and gently parted my legs, seeing me down there for the first time, he let out a groan.

"You're so beautiful, Bella. Let me taste you, please."

I cringed. That particular act embarrassed me to no end. Jake had performed it on me once or twice, but I couldn't relax, worried that he didn't like the way I tasted, how I looked. He'd pretty much given up, disappointed when he saw I wasn't enjoying it, and I was glad of it.

"I don't know if I-" I started to say, but he hushed me.

"Just relax, Bella. I may not be experienced in sexual matters, but I've had a lot of time for reading about it." The crooked smile that I loved came to his lips, and I could not help but stare at the exquisite beauty of his face.

Moving back up for a second, his lips met mine in a tender kiss, which I eagerly returned. I didn't know what my reasons were for giving into him right then. Maybe it was the way he smelled. I breathed in deeply and my lungs filled with his intoxicating scent. I had to have Edward. I wanted to consume him. Thinking no more, I surrendered to the hungry kisses he was placing on my body. His cold lips traced a path from my belly and downward...

"Spread your legs, love," he whispered softly, using that old endearment he had always reserved for me. Automatically, I felt my thighs loosen, and his hands gently pulled them apart. Edward was kneeling before me now, and I struggled not to blush, to clamp my legs shut. No one had ever looked at me so intimately for that long, not even Jake.

"You smell absolutely mouthwatering," he said, his dark eyes smoldering. "Don't blush, Bella. It's true."

Edward trailed icy kisses up the inside of my thighs, and I shivered with pleasure.

"Relax for me, Bella," he said, and without warning, he pressed his mouth to my most intimate area. As his tongue explored my soft folds, I involuntarily moaned at the pleasure. The sensation of his cold tongue on my warm flesh felt unbelievable. His hands gripped my thighs tightly, his thumbs pressing into the grooves of my hipbones.

He was a little tentative at first, but seemed reassured by my response and quickly became more adventurous. My nervousness and shame fell away as I gave into my desire for Edward. His strong tongue dragged down my slit, and then back up again. By this point, I was moaning loudly, unable to keep quiet, but for once I didn't care.

Thank God Charlie's away, I thought. Edward seemed utterly absorbed in me, his tongue curling about my aching clit. He seemed to be breathing me in, groans escaping him as his mouth continued to ravish me. As his tongue moved to dip inside me, I twisted my hands in the sheets, trying to hold on as he pleasured me so completely.

Edward's mouth began to suck on me, and his hands gripped my hips, pulling me closer to him.

"Edward, Edward," I cried, feeling my orgasm coming. But to my surprise, he pulled back, his eyes blazing with lust. "What?" I asked, annoyed that he'd just denied me my release.

"Oh, no, Bella," he smiled mockingly, amused at my anger. "The first time I make you come, I'm going to be inside you."

My small fingers unbuckled his belt, but frustrated at my slowness, he gently moved my hands away and unbuttoned his pants and removed his underwear with the speed of a vampire, throwing them to the ground. My eyes greedily took in the long lines of his godlike, muscular physique, and knew I would never see anything so dazzling for the rest of my life. I could hardly believe that Edward was about to make love to me. Edward. It felt like a dream from which I was about to awaken.

Edward lifted me gently and laid me back on the bed so my head was resting on the pillow. His eyes shone as he looked down at my naked body.

"So beautiful." I blushed for the millionth time at his words, and he smiled.

"Are you - sure this is okay for you?" I asked tentatively, and he knew what I meant. He knew that I was asking him if he was still in control of his craving for my blood.

"That wasn't as difficult as I'd expected, even with your scent all around me and your blood at the surface of your skin," he replied with a reassuring smile. "I won't be too rough with you, I promise."

"Oh, be rough, please," I said without thinking. He raised an eyebrow.

"You don't know what you're saying, Bella," he said, his eyes narrowing. "I've never done this before. I could kill you so easily, if I wasn't so careful."

"I don't care," I breathed, pulling his face to mine to kiss his lips. And I really didn't. Death, to me, would have been worth it to have that moment with Edward.

My legs opened, and Edward shifted up my body, ready to enter me. He felt icy against me, but it was a welcome contrast to the heat exuding from my body. I could feel how hard he was, his shaft poised at my slick entrance.

"You're so warm," he marveled, his fingers lightly ghosting over my arm.

Slowly, he slid into me, pushing himself in right to the hilt. I gasped at the coldness of him, but it felt even better than I could have imagined. Shifting my hips, I willed him to move and end this delicious torture.

I looked up at him and his eyes were squeezed shut, his hands braced against my headboard.

"Just a second, Bella."

I nodded, knowing he had to make sure he could control his blood lust. I almost laughed at the irony of the situation.Edward had to control himself, but not for the reason most boys had to.

"It's tolerable now," he added, and he slowly withdrew before slamming into me again.

We soon found a rhythm together, his hips thrusting in time with mine. "Fuck me," I moaned. Edward's eyes flashed with desire at this and he brought his lips to mine, kissing me roughly.

"You...have...no...idea how amazing this feels," he said hoarsely, kissing along my throat, his wet mouth leaving a trail in its wake. He froze for just a second, and I knew he was fighting the urge to bite down, but instead his mouth sucked at my neck, which I was sure would leave a mark. He was pumping into me even harder now as his hands roamed all over my body, pulling me to him, and I could feel him hitting at the spot inside me.

But a second later, he pulled out. "I just want to try something, Bella." Confused at first, I understood as he flipped me over, bending my knees as he prepared to enter me from behind. In seconds he was inside me again and I breathed a sigh of relief, which quickly gave way to more moaning.

"You like that, don't you, you dirty girl," he murmured in my ear, and as one of his hands kneaded my left breast, the other moved to play in between my legs. He rolled my clit between his finger and thumb, stimulating me in time with his deep thrusts.

My breathing came in shallow gasps, and I knew I was getting close. I never would have believed that Edward would say or do such things. All I knew was that I loved this side of him I'd never seen before. An Edward who'd shed all the propriety and inhibitions of his upbringing.

I was enjoying the naughty position he'd chosen, but soon he laid me on my back again and I wasn't about to argue. Looking into his liquid gold eyes as he fucked me was probably the closest I was ever going to get to heaven. I raised my knees higher, wanting him to go deeper, and he responded, pushing himself into me harder than ever.

"Edward...I...nobody's been inside me like this before." I sighed, my hair sticking to my damp forehead. "How is it that you're so good at this?" He grinned briefly at my compliment, but his face changed in an instant.

"I want you to forget about him right now. He's never made you feel like this, has he?" Edward's voice was barely more than a growl. His hands dug into the pillow either side of my head, and I guessed he was trying to contain his excessive strength.

"N-no," I moaned as he tipped his hips higher so that he ground himself against my clit with each thrust. "Oh God, no!"

Looking into his eyes, I noted Edward looked perfect as always, while I was flushed and panting. But he didn't seem to care, as he was gazing at me with pure adoration in his eyes. I could feel the pressure building as our hips met again and again.

"Bella," he whispered. "Come for me, love. Just let yourself go, come for me."

His silken voice was the last straw for me. I literally screamed as I came, my inner walls squeezing his length tightly as I shook so violently, my toes curling against his back. I didn't think orgasms could last this long, but a minute later it still wasn't over. I rode out the waves of pleasure, grasping his hard buttocks to keep him close to me. Edward gave a strangled groan above me and I knew he had also reached his climax. I heard a strange ripping sound but barely registered it as I continued to quiver from the aftershocks.

He rolled off my body and lay beside me, still as only Edward could be.

"Mmph," I said finally, still incapable of speech. I felt like I'd been utterly ravished. By Edward Cullen. It had seemed too good to be true that along with everything else, Edward would be the world's best lover, too. But he really was. I'd just experienced the most intense orgasms of my life at his hand. It was only when his hand reached out to tenderly stroke my face that I realized tears were pouring down my cheeks. And there were feathers everywhere. He saw the direction of my gaze and bit his lip guiltily.

"My apologies, love. I appear to have destroyed your pillow," he said with a sheepish grin. "I had to channel the excess strength into something, thank God it wasn't you that I hurt." He noticed my tears and he frowned.

"Bella, you're crying."

Suddenly, the tears started to come thick and fast. I nestled into his stone chest as I cried, and he held me unquestioningly. We did not speak another word that night, and I soon fell asleep in his cold embrace.

I woke very early the next morning; it was barely even light yet. I opened my puffy eyelids. Was that all a dream? Looking around, I was almost surprised to see Edward lying next to me just as before, but he'd put his clothes back on during the night, as well as tucking the blanket over me so I wouldn't get cold. The feathers were all gone; he must have tidied them up and set the other pillow from my closet beneath my head.

He smiled a devastatingly handsome smile at me, but then he dropped his gaze and something in his face had changed. It was more guarded, somehow. As he'd held me last night I knew that he was feeling responsible for my tears. But they weren't his fault, not really.

I sighed heavily. Bella, you're such an idiot. Last night had been the best night of my existence, by all accounts, and yet I still felt disgusted with myself. I hadn't realized the depth of feeling I still had for Edward, that I'd been keeping locked inside for so long. I had been unprepared for the suddenness of his advances.

And what about Jake? The thought of his name sent a pang of guilt through me. I couldn't believe that I had so callously spurned his love last night when I threw away all the promises we made to each other by jumping in bed with another man. Sleeping with my ex. It sounded like the plot of a bad sitcom, but that was what I'd done. I still couldn't really think of Edward as my 'ex', though. Our love had been so much more than that, but I was furious at myself for giving in so easily. Even though it was absolutely...there were no words to describe it. Not that I didn't enjoy myself whenever Jake and I made love, but with Edward, everything felt so different. So primal, animalistic.

In the cold light of day, I could fully appreciate the enormity of what I'd done. I'd proven to myself that I very much still had feelings for Edward, but I didn't know how I felt about Jake. I loved him so much, but was it enough? It was so unlike me to do something like this. But Edward just had...something, and I could not help but be drawn to him.

Edward's clear, soft voice broke into my thoughts, snapping me back to the present."Bella, I-" He cleared his throat. "I want to apologize for the way I behaved last night."

"No, don't apologize," I replied, shaking my head. "I liked it." I blushed yet again.

But he still looked sorrowful. "It shouldn't have been like that. I took you...like an animal. I swore I wasn't even going to touch you at all. I just wanted to talk to you, to see if what Alice had told me was true. I'm afraid I was simply overcome by seeing you again. I know you always thought when we were together that I didn't want you physically as much as you wanted me. On the contrary, I wanted you so much that I had to be so careful to never cross my boundaries. Last night, I don't know...I just didn't care anymore. I had to have you, one way or another." A slight smile graced his lips at this and his eyes glinted wickedly.

Edward's words were like a knife to my heart. I knew he wanted me. I couldn't have him, though. It was all wrong, and I felt so confused. I wanted answers. Why had he come back into my life now, after so long? But I bit back my questions and spoke the words I'd been dreading all morning.

"You should go. Jake's coming here later."

Edward said something under his breath that I couldn't hear, and his eyes tightened in anger. "Be careful, he'll smell me on your sheets."

I made a mental note to take care of it as soon as he left. He got out of bed and pulled on his shoes. As I watched him tie the laces at lightening-speed, I couldn't help but appreciate the long, lithe lines of his granite body. He was truly godlike, not meant for a mere mortal such as me. I sat up, and the blanket fell down, revealing my breasts to him. I hadn't realized he'd seen until he let out a quiet gasp.

Clutching the blanket to my chest, I hid myself, embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed, Bella. Your naked body is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he said. His intense, smoldering gaze made me feel as if my body were on fire. I had to get a grip on myself.

"Okay, so..." I started to say awkwardly. Edward moved toward my window slowly, pausing for a second.

"Bella, I don't know if you want to hear this, and I know it's terribly selfish of me to say it, but"-he began, looking a little uncomfortable-"Last night wasn't just about me being jealous of Jacob Black, or letting out ninety years of pent-up sexual frustration. I made love to you because I wanted to be what you wanted for once. A normal human boy wouldn't have spent his whole time denying his girlfriend a physical relationship. I shouldn't have disregarded your safety, but I reasoned to myself that I loved you too much to ever hurt you." He smiled sadly. "And we both know that isn't true. At least, not in an emotional sense."

I wanted to speak, to tell him so many things. But I remained silent, a dull ache in my chest at hearing his goodbye words.

"I love you," he said in velvet-smooth tones, melting my aching heart. "And I've been in hell without you. I thought about you all the time while I composed songs for you on the piano, trying to capture your beauty in the music. My family thinks I'm a lost cause. Bella, I - I don't feel whole without you. If I even have a soul, leaving you splintered it into pieces. I was so sure that you loved Jacob more than me, but I don't think so. And I was a fool for reacting that way when you kissed him. The desires of a seventeen-year-old girl are changeable; I've come to realize that. But if I were to guess, I'd say you've never really stopped loving me all this time you've been with Jacob."

The truth of his words echoed in my head. I had never gotten over Edward. I'd locked him away, afraid to confront the pain. My body had responded to my vampire lover last night in ways I'd never thought possible, such was my lust for him. But I wasn't ready to hurt Jake, to simply run off with Edward. I was the girl who always thought everything through at length, and now I'd managed to make the biggest mistake ever. It was a beautiful mistake, but that's what it was. I had to try and work on things with Jake, for I really loved him. The vampire future I'd once longed for was gone, and even this night of passion with Edward wouldn't bring it back. Things had changed too much.

"Do you love him, Bella?" he asked seriously, his gaze piercing.

"I love him-enough," I responded, attempting to sound calm, but my voice broke on the last word.

"Then I'll go," he nodded, his face tensed in an effort to keep it impassive. "But, Bella, I have to tell you, being with you like that was the best experience of my life. I won't be able to stop myself looking in on you from time to time, but you won't even know I'm there, I promise. I'll always be waiting in the wings for you, love."

I winced at his use of that word that fell like the sweetest honey from his lips. Fresh tears streamed from my eyes as I remembered how Jacob had also once said that last sentence to me. This was like some sick, twisted version of my life, turned on its head. Edward had to leave now, before my resolve failed. I stayed still, though I longed to move as he swiftly leapt out my window, graceful as a cat.

What have I done? For now, I thought it was sufficient to sink back under my covers and hide from the world.