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Living a Lie

Summary:
Bella realizes she can't go on trusting Edward, not with his parting words ringing in her ears.


Notes:
-After New Moon- Drama/Humor


7. Chapter 7

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2728   Review this Chapter

Bella POV:

I was almost panting by the time we reached the edge of the woods. Samantha took off as she heard her mate’s car pull up.

“Bella, who was Mr. Charming?” Chris raised an eyebrow at me.

“That was just an old, overprotective friend, who can read minds, kind of like you.”

“Yeah, I could sense that right away… His feelings for you and his ability.” He was snickering now.

“What the hell were you saying to him?” I knew Edward wouldn’t have reacted that way on his own.

“I was just sharing with him what he had been missing, that’s all.” He turned away from me.

“What’s that supposed to- Where you undressing me or something?” How dare him?!

“Oh I was doing much more than that and I made sure to hide your face until the last minute.” I glared at him. “You know that cave was an excellent back round, too!”

I was chasing and swatting at him now. We ran across the lawns, doing midair turns and flips to avoid each other, occasionally throwing each other into the ground. We started laughing. What were we playing: some sort of weird vampire tag, I guess.

I smashed into Chris as he stopped suddenly. I was about to slap him for doing such a cheap thing, but then I saw who was standing in front of us. The one thing worse than the Cullens…

Henry just glared down at us. Chris and I simultaneously whined ‘dad’. He grabbed both of our shirt collars and dragged us back towards the house. Yes, he was that kind of dad. His punishments ranged from memorizing a medical book and rewriting it from memory to scrubbing our gigantic house’s floor with a tooth brush. Then I remembered just who was in the house right now; Just who was going to see me dragged in by my collar and lectured like a five year old.

My face would have been bright red if it weren’t for the lack of blood. The Cullens were in the hall looking at- just fantastic! Now they’re going to think I’m immature slut.

“Oh, hello… If you’ll just excuse me for a moment.” Henry obviously didn’t know we had guests. The Cullens were looking me up and down. I don’t blame them.

Henry shoved us into the nearest door: the unused dining room. I could hear Rachel saying “Oh, kids! You know how they can be. Ha, ha …” through the wall. She always laughs when she’s nervous.

“Because we have guests I’m not going to elaborate that much, but I will think up various, unpleasant things... Starting tomorrow you will be going to volunteer at the hospitable. Then come school Monday you each are going to join three new extra curricular activities.” I just worried about the “various, unpleasant things”.

“Dad, I hate school as it is!” Chris always whined and always made it worse.

“Fine, you want to back sass, than your punishments can start today. You can detail all the cars… Including our guests. In fact I am going to send you to their house tomorrow as maids to use at their disposal. Do either of you have anything else to say? No, well I’m sure you’ll be on your best behavior tomorrow.”

“WHAT DID WE EVEN DO?” Chris was really angry.

“Go look at the front yard, sir!” Henry’s voice was getting louder, and the Cullens were hearing every word for sure now.

I followed Chris to the bay window. I almost burst out laughing. The grass had been wet from last night’s rain, and it looked like someone had been doing doughnuts in the yard. Plus we had almost coated the Cullens cars and the front story windows in mud. I hadn’t realized we had been that into it. Then I looked down at my clothes. It looked like Chris and me had been mud wrestling. Oh no! That’s why the Cullens were looking me up and down!

Henry threw off his jacket and entered the hall. Chris and I flitted up to our rooms, purposely taking the long way around the Cullens. We were going to see them enough tomorrow…

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It’s Sunday and Henry was pretty sure the Cullens did not go to church, so here I am. Henry had checked with the hospital to make sure Carlisle had off today; Henry was a surgeon and was working at the same local hospital. How inconvenient.

Chris and I hauled at least fifty pounds worth of cleaning supplies up to their front porch. I knocked.

“Hello, dear. We’ve been expecting you.” Esme smiled warmly.

“Henry explained everything to you?” She nodded her head. “Then do you mind if we speak to Carlisle?” She called his name. He arrived a second later. Chris stepped forward.

“Hello, Dr. Cullen. Bella and I would like to offer our cleaning services to you for a full twenty-four hours. You can always decline, you know.” Chris winked at Carlisle. He just chuckled.

“I’m sorry, but Henry and I discussed the issue already, and I couldn’t help but accept. Our cars are particularly filthy lately.” I broke my pout to smile at him.

“Carlisle, Esme I’ve missed you both so much!” I bounced forward, enveloping them in a hug before they could say anything. I released them finally.

“Bella, we’ve missed you, too.” Esme looked like she was about to start crying.

“We really have.” Carlisle laid his hand on my shoulder. The love coming off of them was too much.

“Well, we should get cleaning.” I couldn’t do this, not now.

“Certainly… Henry gave us a list of things he would like you to do.” She handed me the list. It was LONG! When he said twenty-four hours he had meant it.

I shoved Chris out the door. The first thing was detail ALL the Cullens cars. If they hadn’t changed then they had quite a few cars. The garage was open and two vacuums sat beside the cars. There were seven cars now. I almost growled. After painstakingly cleaning all the cars we crossed it off the list and read our next chore.

We had to clean the living room, and by clean it meant: scrub the windows, dust every existing surface, sweep, then polish the floors, wipe down the walls, organize everything, properly clean the couches, and then ask if Mrs. Cullen would like to have her living room rearranged. Henry was very… exact on the list. We finished with that within three hours- luckily Esme had declined.

The next things on the list were other public rooms, like the kitchen, and some rather tedious yard work, but the last thing on the list almost made me scream. So far we had not ran into any Cullens, as they may be avoiding me, but the last thing we had to do was go ask each and every Cullen if they would like their rooms cleaned.

Chris immediately claimed “Carlisle and Jasper and their gals”. That left me with Emmet, Rosalie, and Edward. I almost groaned.

I trudged up the stairs, following the map Esme had given me of the house, and went to Emmet and Rosalie’s room.

I knocked softly on the door, hoping they weren’t in. Emmet answered.

“Well, hello Bella! What can I do for ya?” At least good ole Emmet wasn’t mad at me.

“Hey… As you know I’m in trouble, and so I have to ask if you and Rosalie would like me to clean your room or anything else you can think of?” Emmet smiled at my embarrassment. Suddenly Rosalie appeared at the door.

“How could you do that to my brother, huh? You’re nothing more than a pathetic, man-using whore!” Rosalie was screaming this while only standing a foot away from me. Emmet had wrapped his arms around her waist to stop her from getting any closer.

“It’s a yes or no question, Rosalie.” I had to keep my cool, or I might send her threw the wall. No one can talk to me like that!

“No!” She spat at me with as much venom as she could, before slamming the door in my face. I just sighed; the next would be a thousand times harder.

I looked down the hall for Chris, but I guessed Alice had accepted; Carlisle was too polite, and Jasper didn’t seem like the type to accept another guy’s help. Edward’s room was the last on the upstairs hallway. I took a deep breath and knocked.

Then I knocked again, louder. After waiting another minute I hit the door even harder, shaking it in its frame, and there was still no answer. I was NOT going to have to track my ex-boyfriend down to ask him if he wants me to clean his room! I turned the knob to find it locked. So he was in his room…

“Edward Anthony Masen Cullen open this damn door right now!” I growled at the door. In an instant the door opened to reveal a shocked Edward.

“Bella! What are you doing here?” He stopped gawking and composed himself.

“Well as part of my –um- punishment I have to ask if you want me to clean your room or anything else. So?” Edward face still remained composed.

“If I say yes, will you come in and talk to me?” I wanted to scream yes, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to keep myself together if he confronted me about why I broke up with him.

“If you said yes, I would come in, and do what I said.” I let anger seep into my voice, but it still broke. He had to say no.

“Well, if saying yes means I would get to have a one-sided conversation with you, then yes.” He looked at me slyly. Did he hear how reluctant I was?

He stepped aside to let me pass. I huffed loudly and marched past him. I stopped dead. He room was an exact replica of his room back in Forks, where we had shared all that time- No, NO! Do not think like that! He’s trying to get under your skin, to hurt you again. You cannot trust him…

Edward shut the door and stood in front of me. I involuntarily inhaled his scent. It was like heaven.

“Bella I have to tell you… Just listen to what I have to say, and if… if it’s not mutual you can just… leave, but please listen!” His voice actually cracked on leave. I just nodded my head. “Bella… I have never stopped loving you. I have never stopped being in love with you for even one second while we were separated! Bella when you left my life… my life was and is meaningless. Just when I was so sure that you loved me just as much as I loved you; just when I was seriously considering changing you, having you forever… You told me it was a lie. A LIE! I can’t believe that! Say I’m stubborn, but I saw how you looked at me when you walked into the house. Through Jasper I know that you felt nothing but love… You can’t say that you don’t love me, that you don’t have the same feelings.”

Edward had grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look into his eyes during his plea. I let out one dry sob before I caught myself. He deserved the truth, and I was not going to be easy on him.

“Edward, I left you because I couldn’t and CAN”T trust you! When you left you took my heart AND my trust, and YOU never gave it back. At first when you came back I thought the hole had healed, but you were… you were just like morphine. You were just a painkiller, and every time you left the pain came back. It was killing me! Whenever we were together I would feel doubt instead of love. How can you blame me- No, how can you blame anyone for trying to get out of a relationship like that?”

I was practically sobbing by the time I finished. Edward’s face was twisted with pain.

“Oh Bella… I’m so sorry, so sorry.” He pulled me into his arms, and I sobbed and sobbed. All the pent up pain and fear that had been building over the last twelve years finally came out. Edward carried me bridal style to his couch, where I sat, curled into a ball in his lap. He rocked me back and worth, humming my lullaby. It felt… right.

“Bella…” Edward suddenly whispered with lust. He placed his hands on either side of my face and started towards me. I remember vaguely from my human life that our kisses had always been so careful, but I would make sure it was different this time. After all I had gotten very experienced in that area.

I was suddenly nervous. I wasn’t a virgin anymore, but he was. I had given myself away to so many men while I was sure he had waited for me, even when he thought I was never returning. He didn’t deserve me. He deserved someone just as pure and innocent as himself. I couldn’t…

“Edward we can’t kiss.” I said firmly.

“Why ever not?” Edward eyebrows had knitted together in confusion.

“Because you deserve better than me.” I whispered into his chest.

“Bella, it is I who is unworthy.” I almost choked as he said this. Oh, the things he did not know!

“Edward you have to understand this. I’m not… I’ve… been with…” I couldn’t say it to his face, even though I was sure he already knew.

“Bella I don’t care who you’ve been with or what you’ve done over the last twelve years as long as you can truthfully say you love me.” Edward was serious.

“Edward no one has ever compared to you-” His lips crashed into mine, and I was slept away… Pure ecstasy filled me as shared our first real kiss together. Wait! It was his first real kiss ever while I had had mine with Chris and a dozen other men… This is wrong. I’m such a horrible monster. It’s like me taking an angel’s innocence!

“Ah…. Cough! Cough!” I jumped, pushing away from Edward. Chris stood in the doorway, grinning like a mad man. “Just an old friend, huh?”

“Shut up Chris!” I shouted at him. He had a knack for ticking me off.

“Well, I’m sorry to interrupt but Henry is expecting us back soon.” What?

“It hasn’t been anywhere near twenty-four hours!”

“I know, I know, but before I heard you two’s ‘love confessions’ I called to tell him we finished early. So we got to go, unless you want a tanned hide.” Chris shrugged apolitically.

“Yeah, alright…” I said, disentangling myself from Edward.

“Bella, don’t go. You don’t have to listen to Henry. You can stay-“ I put my hand to his mouth.

“Edward, Henry is my father, and Rachel is my mother. Nothing will change that. I’ll see tomorrow at school… or you could come over tonight and I can ask Henry if I can have a visitor.” I smiled at him, hoping.

“I’d… I’d like that.” He finally said.

“Then it’s settled. Bella, let’s get the hell out of here. Henry’s going to be pissed, and… the short one has it out for me. She could be larking behind any corner.” Chris actually looked afraid.

“What did Alice make you do?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Chris’s eyes were wide with fear as he glanced behind his back. I snickered, before kissing Edward on the cheek and dashing out the door.

I heard Edward call “I love you, Bella Swan!” before I shut my car door. I smiled and mouthed “I love you even more, Edward Cullen!” back. Maybe, just maybe this could work out.