An Immortal Love
What if.... it was not Laurent in the meadow? Bella meets another vampire, she will make Bella see things from a different perpective. Bella makes a decision that will "change her life" and put her in the most interesting adventure 'With the way she smells, if I wouldn't find her someone else would have...'
2. Shared destinies
Rating 0/5 Word Count 4400 Review this Chapter
The day couldn’t have gone any slower…I didn’t sleep at all, my mind totally involved in the possibility of seeing Amanda again, or not seen her at all. Despite of the pain, I felt a small thrill, and as I drove my truck to the Cullens house, without thinking what to expect, I felt a big shock of anxiety. If she has there, I’ll be still caught in this dream that I seemed to be having, if she wasn’t I could not even think of the pain that I knew will wash thought me at the same moment. I thought about Jacob, it was a blessing to have him in my life at this moment; I knew I could only endure the pain because at the end of the day, I could go and rest in his arms. And he will help me heal. His friendship was everything I needed not to go in zombie state again.
She wasn’t there but I waited. The silence of the woods involved me, the only thing I could hear was the water flowing through the river. When the twilight came the house took a phantasmagoric felt to it, it hit on me that it was, however beautiful, a vampire house.
I didn’t realize it until my moan broke the silence of the night, I was crying, so hard it seemed to be impossible for me to stop. Alone alone alone.
Suddenly I felt a hand stoke my hair, it was Amanda, she had come after all. She looked at me with pity eyes.
“They are not coming back are they?” She asked, so certain it almost felt as an statement.
I continued sobbing for a while, and then when I controlled myself she was still there next to me.
“I don’t understand¡¡” Her musical voice was full of remorse and reproach. “Would you tell me what happened?”. She pleaded. “I know this may be difficult for you but if you share your story with me I’ll share mine with you Bella.”
I could not speak for a while…I could not even bring myself to stop crying, I knew what it would take from me to tell my story, I didn’t thought I was capable of doing it, she waited for me to stop and then she said.
“Excuse my curiosity Bella, you don’t really need to be bothered with it, I should not have come here to begin with.”
I didn’t wanted her to leave, I knew I didn’t had to tell her my story but, I wanted to know her better, and the way she asked me was like she really cared about me for some reason, it was like something made her mad, it make her mad that I was so miserable. I started to tell her everything, the memory of my moving to Forks and having met the Cullens with all the repercussions that this event had in my life, I had to stop more than once, as the memories burnt through me as I was remembering, with overwhelming clarity, for the first time in months, the first time I saw him, the first time he spoke to me, the fascination, the attraction, the realization of what he really was, the first time he touched me, the first time he kissed me. Pain… so infinite that I literally thought it could kill me this time. And somehow as I kept going I felt that this was exactly what I needed, I spoke to this stranger as I had never spoken to someone in a long, very long time, I couldn’t have, anyone else would have thought I was crazy, half of Folks town already thought that probably, but this was different, she was in the secret, and she was someone who could relate to me because she knew, she knew them all. She had met them, she cared about them too, and once again it was like her presence in my life made it real somehow.
And then again as I revived the most meaningful days of my live I found myself laughing at the memories they were somehow good memories after all, if you discarded the last part of it, the reality that I was nothing to him.
She was a good listener too, she made the right comments, encouraging me to continue, a little gasp now and then when the story was very involved, like when I confronted James (when he fooled me really), when I got to the part when Edward had to clean my blood she actually looked stoned, and finally sadness as I revived the last moments after that stupid Birthday party. It was difficult, like being in the woods all alone again, only that this time she was with me; it relieved me somehow to be able to tell my story, I had passed the smallest part of my sorrow on to her. I wondered if she had a gift, something like Jasper, to calm me down, whatever it was, it was not as strong as Jasper power was. I felt empty and full of those memories I knew now that they will hunt me forever, I knew that I would not let it go, I would find more reckless things to do if that was the only way of keeping him with me.
“Bella that story is incredible, if I didn’t know Edward myself I probably would not believe it, you have no idea how it would hurt a vampire to have the type of proximity he had with you”. She said in the end, giving me a meaningful look. I couldn’t make anything of it, it didn’t change the fact that he had left me.
“That Edward is really messed up, he’s lost it poor kid”. That sounded odd, I really couldn’t think of him as a kid
“Well” she went on “it is worst than I had expected, I will be in trouble for having found you Bella”, she said honesty deep in her eyes, laughing at his comment, I couldn’t understand. “I guess it is my turn now. My story is not as good as yours although I do hope that this ending is not the real ending for us. I do hope life, or not life in my case, brings us something better in the future.”
“What do you mean?” I could barely make it through the day, I realized I stopped thinking I had a future. She gave me a stern look.
“I hope Bella, that this is not over. I really do, not for you or me…” I could not be that hopeful, he promised never to come back. I waited for her to come with her story; I could see she was scrutinizing, thinking how much she should of could share with me.
“I guess I should just be honest with you, I don’t think there is any need for me to think that I could scare you” She went on.
“It was the year of 1919 I had just turned 17 but times were different there. Both my parents had died of influenza, being a woman alone was not good at the time, but I managed to find a work in a tavern. It was pretty much as being a porn star nowadays, not what good girls would do, it wasn’t like I had a choice to begin with, my brother had came back from war but he was convalescent. Doctors did not know what was wrong with him; I heard that there was in town a doctor who worked miracles, he was a saint, as he would help you for a really small fee, and sometimes for nothing. This is how I came to meet Dr. Carlisle Cullen who lived with his brother, Edward. Carlisle was very kind to me, he told me that the condition of my brother was not treatable; however he assured me I could look for him whenever I needed, when my brother got worst he stayed with us making sure that he passed to the next live in the smother and painless way his condition allowed. He was everything that was left for me, and Carlisle knew it, I could see he was very sorry for me, he told me that he understood what it was being alone, he has always been very compassioned, and so he took care of me. For my part I felt for him completely, he was my life jacket, I would live through the day for the moment where I could see him again, I used to take food for him at the hospital, he worked so hard…however he almost never ate, he normally excused himself saying that he needed to watch over a patient, and that he would eat later, he was at all times very nice to me, a gentleman.”
Having lived through what I had, I could only understand the impression Dr. Cullen had made on her, I was totally hypnotized by her story, hopping somehow that it had a better ending than mine, knowing that it didn’t because I have seen the adoration in Carlisle and Esme’s relationship; no doubt they belonged to each other.
“As I said before, I wasn’t what at the time was though of good woman, having meet Dr. Carlisle made me want to change my status in live, I started working with a local magician that was often invited to the different events held in town. I hoped for the chance that he would see me, that he would realize the way my life had changed, that he would think better of me now that I had a more descent job, I longed that he could see me as a woman, I thought that I was exactly what someone like him needed, I was good at taking care of a house hold, I could cook for them and have everything ready in the house, Doctor Cullen needed a wife to take care of him. I loved him, and I would become everything he needed me to. This was what I was thinking as we here holding a presentation in the hospital. Edward was there, a smile in his lips, he knew what I was thinking of course, and he told Carlisle to be careful with me, that night as I was talking to Andrew the magician, someone mentioned the Cullens, and to my surprise he said that Edward Cullen brought the creeps out of him, the way he used to see him, like he knew something nobody else did, I never realized before, but from that moment on, I decided to put more attention to them, it was true, something was odd with the Collens, I decided that whatever it was it did not mattered to me.”
“As time went on I started to learn the difficult and precious art of illusionism, from Andrew. In the mornings when there was no sunlight Carlisle would come to see me, he would stay with me for one hour at least, we talked, I learnt so many things from him, historical facts mostly. He of course had lived through a lot. See Bella, his compassion made him sympathetic to my feelings, he didn’t loved me but he really truly cared about me, and he felt somewhat happy for having earn the feelings that I had towards him. He had after all been lonely for hundreds of years.”
As I thought about those words a wave of pain run through my body, so this was it? He was just feeling sympathetic towards my feelings and that is why he put up with me for so long…It was the only explanation, it fell right in place with what had happened to me.
“I still knew he wasn’t normal, as I told you I noticed first that he didn’t eat or drink, his skin was really cold whatever season we were on. He didn’t need to sleep as much as normal people or that is what I thought and, I did realize that whenever the sun came out I would not see him.”
“One day, while we were preparing ourselves for a new illusionist act, things didn’t work as we expected, Andrew fell and lost consciousness, we took him to the hospital, I looked for Carlisle but he wasn’t there I didn’t know that he would take days off, I felt out of balance, as I always believed I would be able to find him there. I went to his house, Edward greeted me, I thought it is funny how once you know they are different, it seems silly that people think they are normal, he read my thoughts but I didn’t noticed anything of course Edward is a good liar, he said that Carlisle was out of town but that he was supposed to come back that night and that he will tell him what had happened to Andrew.”
“That night was the last time I saw him, but I didn’t know that it would be the last time; he checked on Andrew and then left. I looked for him but there was nothing; I realized that the hospital staff was surprised with the sudden departure too. I think you have a clear picture of how I felt; with Andrew recovering I had to continue with the shows. That is how I meet her… Bella to have found you in the meadow was like a déjà vu, I realized that you knew what I was and it was exactly what happened to me, she was one of them, she realized my fixation, she was beautiful, with a very kind face just like Carlisle, she and her partner where nomads, she was supposed to wait for him, and they would leave immediately. I was so happy to have found her… I followed her she didn’t know what to make of it, I was lucky, she had fed that same day otherwise, I don’t think I would have survived.”
It was big déjàvu she had lived this history from both sides, the human a long time ago and the vampire now.
“I told her how I knew she was different, I bluffed too because I wasn’t quite sure of what they were, not even close, but I knew he cared about me so I wanted, I longed to be like Carlisle, so that we could be together, she listened to me, she could relate to me because she was in love herself, that is how I learned how deep the tie to a vampire partner goes, it was just true … and very deep. I asked her to help me become like her, that way I could be with him, and it was all that mattered, I loved him and I knew he appreciated me, I thought that maybe, once I was like him he would see me differently, I was sure that was going to be the case. Live didn’t hold any meaning outside of his life.”
“She agreed-I couldn’t believe it -she told me she didn’t know for sure she would be able to do it, but I was ready for everything, even death would had been welcomed, she said she needed to fed first, it didn’t make any sense but I agreed to wait for her. -Are you sure you want to do this? She asked me when she came back– her voice was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, I hoped that mine would turn out like hers- I didn’t know how the change was supposed to be made, maybe a ritual, of some sort. And then she killed me. I knew I was death because no human could take that amount of pain. I burnt and screamed for days, I think at the beginning she was talking to me I couldn’t make sense of her words, then, I could not hear a thing it started in my fingers I knew it was going to be over soon.”
“When it finally happen I realized I did something wrong this was not what I expected, she wasn’t there either, however she told me once the venom was spreading that I needed to be careful do not let any human know what I was. I was confused and alone, pain flaming my throat I didn’t know what to do, I went to find Andrew maybe he could help me, he was the first person I fed from, as my teeth touched his throat I realized the type of monster I was and I felt remorse for having become this, but as soon as his blood entered my system I forgot all rational thinking, the remorse was gone, and I became the real vampire, no humans feelings left behind for me. This is how I passed my first ten months human life after human live, no special reason to kill them the more I fed from them the least I saw them as humans, I would only see them as food. However I remembered the human feelings that led me to this new live, and I decided to go and look for Carlisle, it was easier now with my new and very developed senses, it is like you have a lot of space in your head, I often thought of him, it seemed weird for me to think that a Doctor would save lives only to end others, I didn’t know what to make of it, or the fact that he was so comfortable with humans around him, everything I was going through that moment would not matter because it was for love, I didn’t wanted to face the truth of what I had done just yet. I needed to see him first”
I could now think of how deep her sorrow would be having changed for someone who did not loved her back and never would. Someone who was so clearly destined to another person
“Once I found them, I was shocked by the diet they followed, by the restrictions they lived with, Carlisle was very sad of course, this is not the kind of life you would like for someone you care about, Edward understood exactly what happened but I asked him not to say anything to Carlisle, it wasn’t his fault what I had done with my life, I tried to follow the diet, but eventually I left.”
“So you just left?”
“But, what about Carlisle? And your feelings…”.
“The thing is Bella that there were no feelings”
“I don’t understand”.
“I was just wrong…Once I was a vampire I realized that the very powerful human feeling was not love, maybe a big infatuation, recognizement maybe even gratefulness, mixed of course with all the appeal that vampires have to humans, it was shocking to understand that even the appreciation that he had for me was stronger than the human all conquering love that I was so convinced of having. I had changed my human life over something that was not real, over someone that I was not even worthy of, because I knew deep down that I was not going to be able to fed only from animals, not even for the human love memory that is the strongest hold that I had to human life. I knew this even before I saw him again but I didn’t want to admit this at first. I do felt bad even now for not being able to fit in the diet.”
“So even now you are not a vegetarian?” The snarl in my head pumped the fear and my heart accelerated making me only more obvious, and tempting for that matter.
“No Bella, it is important for you to know that I am a big danger for you, more than all the Cullens together, I do resist human blood up to an extent, but I would never be able to live amongst humans, like they do.”
“Once I was by myself I developed I mixed habit, I could fed from animals, but I need humans from time to time, it was bad, I felt remorse too. I blamed my creator for that, see, the only vegetarian vampires I knew where Carlisle and Edward, Carlisle has never tasted human blood, and he changed Edward so I thought that was why I could not controlled myself, because my creator was a normal vampire and as I already tasted human blood it was too late for me. Of course after many years Jasper and Alice destroyed my theory.”
“Years after I left Carlisle, Edward found me, he was going trough teenager-hood”, she laughed at the thought, I knew what she meant as Edward was not always a veggie “Even when I knew he eventually would go back to Carlisle I was glad for the time we spent together, they were the best years of my life, that turned out to be more than what I had expected, Edward can be very stubborn, but I had already developed my power, and we would work perfectly.”
“He would read the minds of humans monsters and when we were ready to attack I would create an illusion so that the almost victims wouldn’t have to see what we were doing.”
“So that is your superpower you make illusions for other people?” it was a strange gift I thought but It was a good distraction to the fact that Edward have lived with her, even if it was for a short time.
“Yes I can play with the brain; I can make you believe anything I want you to. I mean anyone but you really, I can’t do it to you, it has to be the same thing that you say keeps Edward to read your mind. When I saw you that first time in the meadow I tried to put in your head the idea that I was Edward, and then I was surprised, you are the first one that has immunity to my power.”
I was glad that that my brain would not had left her do that, it would have been too weird, to painful, to see him in the meadow only to realize that it was not real, and then I felt that something was totally wrong with my brain.
“You know” she kept going “that means that if you were to become a vampire your power could be stronger”. She scrutinized me as wondering what I would be able to do. And then she laughed “Anyways when Edward decided to go back I went with him, and I met Esme. I was so happy for them, for years I thought that I had ruined Carlisle opportunity of finding true love and turns out that there she was, after centuries, the perfect fit for him. It made me hopeful that maybe someday I would find my match, even if I have to wait centuries, it would be good to find him. Meeting Esme made me feel somehow free, more at ease with my decision of changing”
I thought about that for a second, it was indeed shocking, to change only to realize that it was wrong, I had a lot of thinking to do with this new information. Was it possible that, being so eager to become a vampire to be with him was the reason he left?
“So do you think that is why he left? For not changing me?” I could not really believe that. He could have stayed with me.
“Edward?” I winced and she smiled it was difficult to hear his name, I’m sure she realized it “I can only guess he had plenty of reasons for leaving, the more important you were for him the more he would have reasons to leave.”
“That doesn’t make sense, he did not really loved me, maybe just affection like Carlisle and you, he left you too.”
“You can’t just compare it to my case?” She seemed to be offended “This is Edward we are talking about¡” She chided me like I did not understand a thing, this put me defensive
“It just seems very alike” she gave a hard look like my words had unchained something inside of her, she was mad now
“Well you are mistaken,” She almost screamed “You knew, you know, you are in the secret. Carlisle left because I was suspicious, he never even though about sharing his secret with me” meaningful look again like I was not getting it, and then frustration “He was right not to do it. You are danger now, a knowing human running loose” She looked worried now “It is bad. How could the Cullens do that? This is exactly the kind of behavior Volterra waits for; I would believe Carlisle to know better, he is just so, kind of… human, he really believes in Aro’s appreciation”.
“I am danger?” I suddenly remembered the fear in his eyes when she first met me in the meadow.
“Yes, great danger”, she stopped as uncertain if to let me know what was on her mind, and then she continued “The only rule we are bound to follow is not to let the humans know, consequences of not following this rule are severe, Jasper would know. The Volturi have cleaned Texas more than once.” again she lost me there “This is so weird, he has to know the exposure they are in now, he would never do that, how did he agree, how does he consent having Alice live in danger?” As soon as she said her name realization hit her every feature. A smile – that I thought was of relieve- spread across her face. “You know Bella for a vampire I am kind of slow. I need to go now. Edward will not appreciate my interference. And there is nothing you can say to stop me Bella” she added as I was already opening my mouth “I am sorry. I really really need to go now.”
Right then, the lights of a police cruiser hit me right in the face, it took me two seconds to get my eyes adjusted to the light but when I did she was gone. Charlie steeped out his features twisted in relieve, fear and anger and then rearranged in sadness, as he saw me there at the Cullens house, all by myself.
1 2 3 4 5
- 21 Nov 09
- 03 May 10
- In Progress