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Random Subjects (#2)

Episode two! Alice has a good friend, Aro one. Chaos ensues! And weird dressup and wacky confessions!

Uh. . . .Beware of. . . Well, Just Beware.

1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 534   Review this Chapter

Alice: welcome one and all! Today I have my good buddy, Aro, here. After a request, I decided to let him say the quote. So, Aro everyody!

Aro: Pleasure to be here! Today’s quote is. . ."Weird clothes are magically fun!". I must say, I agree! Don’t you Alice?

Alice: Word to ya mamma, dog! ( Alice is dressed up all ‘gangsta’. Large gold chains, baggy jeans, and all. ) Yee-haw! This is jest plain wonderful! Go Alice! ( Aro is dressed as a cowboy, with a horse stick thing. )Check out my water gun, yo! Ain’t it a beast!? ( Alice pulls our a water gun and squirts Aro, who splutters and gasps )Whoo-wee! Look here at my cow prod! ( Pokes Alice’s leg )Dude! What the heck! I was, like, just mindin’ my own business, then . . ZAM! Prodded. ( Alice now looks like a surfer, while Aro looks like a . . . .NERD!!!! )

Aro: N-nice flip-flops. Like my glasses? ( Aro laughs and snorts. Alice is repulsed.)WTC? Aro, um, there are like, twenty cats at your feet. Do something quick.


Aro: What? AHHH! CATS! HELP ME! NO! NOT THE FACE! AHHHGGG! Alice please remove them! It hurts! AHG! Please? Help me! I am not srinking catnip!

Alice: No? I thought. . . WHERE DID I GO WRONG!? ( Whips out old telephone. ) Rosie! You were right! Being a lifeless recluse is better! Oh for the love of cheese!

Aro: I have a speech to make. Dear people,

I am so sorry for all I’ve done. Caius, that wasn’t really a new car. I bought it from a hobo. Carlisle, I wasn’t entirely truthful. My phone does have Barbie Girl as a ring tone. Rosalie, those pants do make you butt look fat. Jane, yeah, I did mean it when I said you resemble a boy more than Felix. Renata, yeah, I do often find your power useless. Poor Marcus, I do want to kill you for killing my happy vibe frequently.


Telephones are ringing of da hook!!!! ( Picks up one of the twenty some phones that have been carried in. Listens for a minute, then cringes away. Sets phone down and turns to Aro. ) Heidi called. She has your death warrant.

Aro: GAH! NOOOOOOO! I apologize! Please no! Alice help me, please, I beg of you. I don’t feel like dying yet! I have so many things left to do! Like be an actor, and sing in the opera, and work as a pencil pusher!!! Why must the amazingly superbly fantastcly beautiful and talented people die young?! WHY!?


( Using her quiet voice and looking down. ) Modest aren’t we?

Aro: ( Gets up from the floor and frowns dramatically. Frank Commercial comes on and hands Alice a small slip of paper.)

Alice( Reads.) Apparently, Thanksgiving is coming up and I am on the Emmy and Jazzy show as a special guest. . . .Soooooooo, let me wrap this up. Thankyouallforwatchingseeyalaterhaveagoodday,week,year,life,whatevermayyouallresteasyandeatlotsoffreakingturkeybyebyegetofthecouchandgetawayyoulittlemonkeysseriously . . . GO!


Well then. See you all later. I got a dinner to consume soon. See you all. BYE!