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Messing With Jake

Summary:
While surfing Youtube, I came across "100 ways to annoy Jacob Black", and I couldn't resist. So, here is me, in the fantastical world of Twilight, annoying the hell out of my wittwe Jakey-poo 0:)


Notes:
I do not own these ideas. I do not own Twilight. I DO, however, love Jacob immensely. I just happen to love Edward a bit more...


1. Meal-time, Jakey!

Rating 5/5   Word Count 524   Review this Chapter

I threw the door of Jake's little house open, and screamed at the top of my lungs, "Jakey-poo! Where are you?!" I clapped my hands together. "Come here, my wittwe puppy, come here!" My voice was sugar sweet, like I was talking to a baby.

"Funny, funny," he muttered dryly, rounding the corner with a smirk on his face.

Beaming at him, I threw my arms around his large frame. "I missed you, Jakey-poo." I whispered.

He snorted and ruffled my hair. "I told you to stop calling me that, Jana."

"Oops." I giggled, stepping back. "Sorry. Must've slipped my mind." I shrugged flippantly and skipped into the kitchen. "I'm gonna make myself some food. I'll make you some, too."

Rolling his eyes as he followed me, Jake sat down at the kitchen table. "Why not? It's not like I'll get rid of you any time soon."

"Exactly!" I chirped, starting to heat up some leftover spaghetti for myself.

Reaching into my sweatshirt pocket, I pulled out a packet of dog food and tossed it on the table. "Dig in, boy." I winked at him and pulled my meal out of the microwave.

He flicked the packet off the table and glared at me silently.

"Oh, sorry, was that the wrong brand?" I asked worriedly, and picked it up to examine the package.

"Ha. Ha." He made a face at me as he got up to get his own food.

"Ya know," I started as I sat back down and started to eat, "Edward would've appreciated the thought... And he doesn't even eat..."

Placing a bite of food in my mouth, I looked up to see Jake clutching the counter top.

"What's wrong, Jakey?" I asked, innocent concern saturating my voice. I got up and hurried to his side.

Then it dawned on me.

"Awww, I'm sorry! That was horrible of me!" I wrapped my arms around his torso. "I know how much you wanted to be with Edward. And hell, I can't blame you! I mean, his face is so... Yummy! And his body? Mmm..." I sighed, closing my eyes.

Jake made a strange noise in the back of his throat and yanked his steak out of the microwave, stalking back to the table. I skipped after him, hopping into my seat again.

"It'll be ok, Jakey. You'll find someone you love as much as Eddy. He won't be nearly as dreamy, or chivalrous, or sweet, or smart, or sexy, or dazzling, or sparkly, but you'll love him just the same." I assured him, nodding, and began eating again.

Shoving back from the table, Jacob stood. "Excuse me a sec, Jana, I have to step outside quick." He said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, gotta use the little doggie's room? Gotchya. I'll wait here." I winked at him and returned to my food. Right after he stepped out of the kitchen, I called after him, "Could you bring the newspaper in with you! Just, please, don't get it all slobbery this time! OH! And don't forget to go in the woods! Billy doesn't want his yard destroyed!"

I sighed. I love going to Jake's.