Another Word for Lonely
Thank you to Oh Mike, How will I go on for the amazing Banner!!! Go read her stories :) Bella's a half Vampire and half human, daughter of Aro, a secret that is to be kept at all costs. She moves away, disgusted from her life in Volterra, to Forks to start fresh. There, she runs into the Cullen's, who don't have any idea what she is, or who she's the daughter of. What happens when she falls for Edward, and Edward for her? And what will happen when Aro summons her back home? Who is in danger, Bella or the Cullens? AU Slightly OOC BxE
Rating 5/5 Word Count 4298 Review this Chapter
On the plane ride from New York to Seattle, I thought deeply about the events surrounding my immediate future.
The things I knew for certain... This weekend had been a challenge from Aro to see where my allegiance stood, and I made it clear it was no longer with him, my so called father. He not only was about to force me to feed off of humans, something he knew I vowed I would never do again, but a child at that! I could not become more disgusted with my 'family' as I was now. But now that he knew that I no longer regarded him highly, there was bound to be retaliation.
I knew my father well enough to know that I was not going to be left alone and live happily ever after. He would keep closer tabs on me, he would restrict my freedoms, possible even harm the Cullen's. It was a witch hunt now, and I was the hunted. My every move would be watched and one false step could prove deadly.
First things first, I would find the remaining family of this girl, Lily, and return her to them. Of course I would have to change their names and set them up with an unlimited amount of physical comforts so as to live out the rest of their lives in peace and security. I would make sure Lily grew up wanting nothing, living the best life she could with those that loved her. I could give her that much at least.
Then after that was all said and done, I would have to tell the Cullen's of my true identity. I had this plan all thought out. I was to talk to Edward first, explain the whole Truth to him. If he took it well, then I would tell the Cullen's. If he didn't... then I would walk away from him forever, and we would live our separate lives. The only problem with that being that once I told him the truth, that put him in danger. If Aro ever found out he knew, then he would surely be put to death. I would leave the decision up to Edward. I would warn him of the danger he would be in if he knew my secret and if he still wanted to know, then I would tell him.
I was not 100% confident or happy with my plan, but it was all I had.
I felt the plane slowly descend towards the ground, signaling that we were in Seattle. I wrapped Lily tighter in the blanket she was currently sleeping under, making sure she felt the planes vibrations as little as possible. I kept my eyes out the window, taking in the simple beauty of the state of Washington. It's lush green forests as cloudy skies, it was beautiful despite its gloomy demeanor. The closer we got to the ground, the more object I began to recognize. Finally, the plane bounced dramatically from the landing, sending Lily into a state of fright. She jumped up from her small bundle of blankest next to me and sat on my lap, hugging my neck to her, her scared eyes searching for any signs of danger.
"Shhh...it's okay Lily, it was just the plane. It landed. It's okay." I whispered to her, rubbing small circles on her back. Slowly, she calmed down, her small little heart returning to its slow and steady pace.
"Where are we?" She asked.
"In Seattle, Washington. Do you know where that's at?" She shook her head no, and I chuckled. "I guess you are a little too young to know geography just yet."
"What's geeorgafee?" She asked, and I almost chuckled again at her pronunciation of the word.
"It's somethign that you will learn very soon in school kiddo. Come on, I think our ride is here." I said, raising from my seat and taking her hand. "Now Lily, the people that are here to pick us up are nice people okay? They won't hurt you, trust me on that."
I grabbed our bags and shuffled toward the exit where the attendant and Pilot were waiting for us to leave through. As I took the steps down from the plane, I felt Lily squeeze my hand.
"They're pretty like those people from that room." She whispered, her voice shaking.
"Remember what I said, they won't hurt you, I promise." I squeezed her hand for reassurance. She exhaled, but still held a firm grip in my hand.
I finally looked up and took in my surroundings, and I was relieved to see that the entire Cullen family awaited us. Thankfully we were the only ones here, so we were left in complete and utter privacy once the Pilot and attendant went inside the hanger.
Alice hesitantly walked up to us, giving a gentle smile to Lily. She reached out her hand for LIly to shake, and she hesitantly took it.
"Hi, I'm Alice. What's your name?"
"Lily." She said, hiding behind my legs from Alice's view.
"I like that name, it's pretty, just like you." Alice smiled, then looking at me she went on, "Hey Bella. I got your memo. I have the paperwork and the information you need in the car, and we already have a set up for them in a cozy island in Brazil. They're at a hotel in Seattle waiting for her." She quickly said, too fast for Lily's ears to pick up.
Slowly, I saw Rosalie walking towards us. I saw an opportunity to take a few minutes to myself.
"Hey Lily, you want to meet a real princess?" I asked, kneeling on my knees. She nodded her head at me, still eyeing Alice.
"Lily, I want you to meet Princess Rose. Her Prince Charming is that big guy over there, that's Emmett. Why don't you go with Rose and hang out with some real royalty for a bit?" I asked as Rosalie sent her a dazzling smile, only causing the poor girl to walk over dazed, dazzled too much to know the difference. Once she was out of earshot, I had a short conversation with Alice.
"Who did you find?" I asked.
"Her grandparents on her mother's side, the father's parents are deceased. And her aunt and uncle from her fathers side, her mother was an only child. They are waiting in a hotel in Seattle, and have a flight to Brazil in 3 hours. We have new identities and passports for all of them, as well as a private bank account with unlimited funds. I told them that her parents were killed in a secret hostage situation, and that Lily was smuggled out, but that due to the danger of the situation, they need to go under an international secret witness protection. They complied once they believed that this organization went beyond the normal CIA stuff. I also said that in 10 years time, they could move around again, but to lay low." She said shrugging her shoulders.
"Wow, you thought of everything. Thanks Alice." I said, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had been prepared to do all of this work on my own.
"No problem. What happened back there? Why do you have her in the first place, her parent's are dead right?"She asked, still confused over the situation.
"Yes, her parents are dead. It's a long story, I'll tell you everything later, for now, lets get Lily to her family and on a plane to Brazil. I said walking towards the vehicles. I stopped dead in my tracks. In all the insanity of arriving and Alice informing me on Lily's family, I had forgotten about Edward, who know stood with his arms crossed, leaning against his Volvo, a look of fear and stress etched across his features. All the Cullen's noticed the tension in the air between us, and I was eternally grateful to Esme in this moment.
"Lily, how would you like to ride with me and my husband to Seattle to see your family? You can sit with Rose and Emmett in the back if you would like?" Lily looked to me for permission, and I nodded and smiled back. She seemed to have really relaxed with them, and I was grateful. They piled in Carlisle's Mercedes and started driving off towards the city. That left Alice, Jasper , Edward and I in the lot, staring at each other. After a while, Jasper cleared his throat uncomfortably and signaled to Alice to get in the back seat of the Volvo.
"We'll just wait in the car for you two. We can follow Carlisle in a few minutes..." She said, closing the door. This left Edward and I staring at each other, so many conflicting emotions crossing his beautiful features.
He pushed off the Volvo, taking two steps toward me. I hesitantly walked over to him, afraid of how he was feeling, was he angry with me? I stood about a foot away from him, raising my hand slowly to cup his cheek. I looked farther into his golden eyes, hoping to convey how sorry I was to have left in the first place. He leaned into my touch and my heart fluttered at the contact. I opened my shield up for a moment, long enough to send him one thought... I love you.
Before I knew what had happened, he had me a bone crushing embrace, his eager lips searching desperately from my own. I gasped for air out of the sheer force that he kissed me, and had I been human, my lips would have been purple and blue from the bruises. There was an urgency to his kisses and I met them with all the need I felt for him also. Words could not describe the love I felt for him, but I hoped this kiss would clue him in. I grabbed fists fulls of his hair, his hands greedily gripping my sides, pulling me closer to him. After awhile, we simply held each other, holding wach other as close as possible, our foreheads pressed against each other.
After some time he buried his face in my neck, breathing in my scent.
"I love you Bella. I will never let you leave me again, I'll follow you anywhere." He said.
"I love you so much Edward." I whispered, imagining a time where we could be happy...
After a few more moments of holding each other, he finally broke me out of my reverie.
"Love, we have to catch up with Carlisle. You should say goodbye to Lily." He whispered. Lily. I had to say goodbye. Tears began to well up in my eyes and I nodded, walking towards the car. I held Edward's hand the entire silent drive to the hotel.
I walked with Lily hand in hand to the hotel room that housed her remaining family. My tears had subsided, but I was sure that they would come again the moment I left this hotel without her. Despite telling her we were to about to see her grandparents and aunt and uncle, she still had not seemed to understand that I would in effect be leaving. I had tried to explain int he elevator that I would not be going to the island with her, she merely replied, 'well, when you do come over we can build sand castles and mud pies!' I just kept quiet and led her down the hall to the room.
I knocked at door 513 and waited for the door to open. No sooner had I finished my thought had the door swung open and Lily was in 4 different pairs of arms. I however was met with thankful, nervous, and scared eyes.
"Lily, we are so glad you're safe! Are you okay honey, do you feel alright?" Who I assumed her grandmother was asked.
"Oh Nana, I missed you so much. Meet my friend Bella! She's a princess!"Lily exclaimed excitedly, pulling on my hand to meet her family.
"Thank you so much for bringing Lily back to us safely, this means more to us that you could ever know." Her grandmother said gently, wiping a tear from her eyes. "My daughter and son in law would be so thankful."
"Yes thank you for all that you have done." Her uncle expressed, shaking my hand.
"It's no problem, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I...I just want Lily to grow up happy and safe with what family she has left." I said to the family. "Here are your new identities, you will find everything you need in this folder. If for any reason something should happen, you may reach me at this email, but please only use it for emergencies." I said, handing them the information Alice gave me. "I...I have to go, thank you for loving her the way that she deserves to be. I'm sorry." I said, attempting to walk out the door before my leg was caught.
I looked down to see Lily clutching my pant leg, looking up at me wide eyed.
"But...but Bella, you're coming with us aren't you? You'll meet us at the island?" She asked, fear creeping into her beautiful blue eyes. I knelt on one knee, so as to be eye level with her.
"I'm sorry Lily, I won't be going to the island with you, or later. You can only be safe if I'm not near you honey. I'm sorry." I said.
"But you're my friend, my best friend." She sniffled, her tears welling up.
"And you're my best friend too. I'll miss you, I want you to do me a favor okay? I want you to be happy and live an exciting life fit for a princess okay? Because you are a princess, you are Princess Lily." I smiled at her, pulling her to me in a hug. She hugged me tightly back, and after a few minutes we released each other. "I'll miss you Lily, goodbye."
I walked away from that hotel in Seattle, leaving behind a crying amazing 4 year old named Lily, who I prayed lived a longer and safer life filled with love and happiness. I never looked back.
The drive back to Forks was a silent one. I could no longer cry, and was so emotionally spent that all I managed to do was sit and stare out the window. Edward occasionally would kiss my hand or would gaze my cheek with his finger, but I just sat there feeling nothing. I was so tired, I needed rest.
"Edward, pull over!" Jasper finally growled out.
"What? Why?! We're almost home Jazz." Alice asked confused, as Edward slowed down to the shoulder.
"This is too much, all the emotions in here...I need out. I'll just run home."He said irritated, Alice leaping out with him.
"I guess I'm running too..." She called out, closing the door.
"...sorry..." I managed to mumble. Edward kissed my hand and started driving again.
"Love, do you want to go home or go to our meadow?" He asked.
"We have a meadow?" I asked, not remembering that we had a place of our own. Wow, I was a horrible girlfriend...
"Well, I like to think it is. It's where we shared our first kiss...remember the night we hunted?" Ahhh...now I remembered the pretty wildflowers around me as he kissed me for the first time.
"Mmmm...lets got there instead." I said, thankful for this thoughtfullness. He quickly made a turn at the next dirt road and followed it until we got to a small parking area.
"Now we walk...or run." He said, helping me out of the Volvo.
"Let's run, I want to feel the wind in my face." I followed him as he weaved in and out of the trees, leaping over rocks and fallen moss covered limbs. When I heard the faint swishing of the creek nearby, I knew that we had made it. I could see patches of purple wildflowers and soft pillows of grass and moss layering the clearing, and I quickly collapsed on top of a bed of flowers, instantly relaxed by their cushions.
"Lie with me, just lay with me and make me forget." I asked Edward quietly, patting the lush grass beside me. Softly he sat next to, picking absently at some of the wildflowers. I rested there for what seemed like hours, staring up at the turning sky as it changed from cloudy to a clear night sky, with Edward lounging beside me.
"Bella...are you ready to talk about it?" He asked softly.
"I want to forget it ever happened." I whispered, closing my eye, willing it away.
"You can't just make it disappear love, you should talk about it." He reasoned, rubbing my arm.
"I...I don't want to."
"I saw images in that young girls head...Bella, you need to talk to me." He said alittle stronger now.
"You're not ready...I'm not ready." I said standing up and brusing my jeans off.
"Shouldn't that be for me to decide if I'm ready?" He said sitting up. "What happened over there? Why were you in the main hall with Aro and all the other"
"You saw that?" I asked scared.
"She remembered that when she saw what we looked like. Of course our beauty would scare her again." He explained, standing up as well. "Talk to me."
"No!...I can't tell you ...not yet...you don't understand, you won't understand." I pleaded.
"Love, calm down. What is so horrible that you can't talk to me? All I'm asking is for you to trust me with the truth... what really happened in Volterra Bella?" He asked, walking closer to me.
"Edward...Do you love me?" I asked, my lip quivering.
"You know I do, what kind of question is that?" He asked incredulously.
"I...I needed to make sure before I killed you." I said, tears escaping the confines of my eyes.
"Bella, you're scaring me. What are you talking about love?" He begged as he tried to pull me to him. I resisted, pulling away from him, disgusted with the lies I have led that have brought me to the point of dragging Edward down to hell with me.
"Don't touch me!" I sobbed, leaning against a tree and slouching down to hug my knees to my body. I was shaking, my heartbeat erratic as I sobbed on the floor. I rocked myself back and forth, waiting for my hysterics to subside before I told Edward everything. Edward knelt by me, his agonized eyes frantic as he tried to figure out what to do. His hands and arms were trembling with the force he exerted in not reaching out and comforting me, but I couldn't be touched right now, especially not by some one so pure and true as Edward. I couldn't taint him yet, not yet.
"Love, please! Tell me what's wrong! We can work through this together, I love you!" He cried out to me as I retreated farther and farther into myself.
"I can't...I have to, but I...I can't..." I repeated over and over. "Can't you see!!! I'm no good for you! You have to leave me, you can't let me kill you! Please leave me, I don't have the control to leave you, you have to do it...I'm so, so selfish." I sobbed.
"I will never leave you Isabella, never!" He said forcefully. "You are everything to me, everything! Can't you see that? Talk to me."
He had finally cracked and held me to him, gently rubbing my back as I continued to rock back and forth. He let me cry for a few moments longer until I decided it was time to seal out fate. I stopped rocking and shrugged out of his embrace, eyeing me quizzically.
"It's better if there's some space between us when I tell you everything." I whispered. He only nodded.
"The reason I don't want to tell you my secret is that I fear that once I do, those more powerful than us will kill to to ensure that no one else learns of the secret. You see, my secret is bigger than me, than us, it can hurt a lot of people if it gets out. I'm afraid that once I tell you, It will be my fault if anything ever happens to you. If you were killed for my secret, it would be as if I killed you. Do you understand? Do you see why I'm reluctant to tell you?" I begged.
"I understand where you are coming from Bella, but if you and I are going ot work, these are some of the things we need to know about each other. I want to know, it's my decison now." He said.
"It that is what you want... I was in Volterra visiting my father."
"Your father? I thought you said you didn't know where you came from?"
"I lied. I never knew my mother, she was human and died in child birth. My father, however, was the one who raised me, he is a vampire like yourself. That explains why I am a half breed."
"Who...who is your father?"
"Aro."I said quietly, hearing a hiss escape his lips.
"Aro raised you?" He asked with disbelief in his voice.
"He was not much of a father, there were no tender moments of love in our family. I was mainly raised by a few of the guards and the occasional governess they would bring in before I would drain them." I said without emotion.
"You...you killed people in Volterra..."He stated, it wasn't a question.
";Yes, I was never taught otherwise. I began to develop a conscious a few hundred years ago, they would bring me in bottles of blood, because I had began to refuse to kill them myself. I hated the kill, I never found pleasure in it as they did....Only the main Volturri guards know of my existance, Aro has always told me it was for my own safety that I be kept secret. He feared that other Vampires and covens would try to take advangae of the fact that I was half-human and was still breakable. He always told me that his enemies would try to kill me if they knew I was his daughter. After time, I began to believe he feared that others would try to create an army of half-breeds to exterminate him, which was his reason for keeping me hidden away. He is the most selfish thing I have ever known, it's hard to believe that he wanted me to be kept a secret for my own safety."I said disgusted.
"Why did he let you leave?" Edward asked, I was comforted to still hear tenderness in his voice.
"He didn't understand my need to get out of the castle at first, he didn't see that my confinement was slowly driving me insane. Aro has everything brought to him and he is extremely catered to, but I want to experience the world. I want to see everything I had read about in my books, I want to experience love, friendship, life. I wanted out. At first he had said no, but after much persuasion and a hundred years, give or take a few, he finally agreed. There were rules though, I was allowed to leave, but I have to visit Volterra once a year. I am also supposed to call everytime I move and weekly. I am subject to surprise visits, just to make sure everything is okay. That's why I left the day after the dance, Jane had popped in for a visit, and I had received a message from Aro inviting me to visit him in Volterra this past weekend. You don't say no to Aro, so I had to go. That's where I found Lily." I explained.
"She was brought in with her family and I assume they became dinner?" He asked.
"Almost...It had begun as a feast in my honor, bottles of warm blood supplied on the table. Then the doors opened and tourists were being herded in like cattle, and to my horror were invited to wish me well. When Lily approached me, I broke down and hugged her and cried. Before I realized what had happened, everyone was dead. I managed to talk Aro into letting me keep her a pet, and I left that night. If he ever asks about her, I plan to say that I slipped and killed her accidentally. He can't read me so how would never know."
"So...you're Aro's daughter...This is the big secret you couldn't tell me?" He asked.
"Bella, I can't believe you were so afraid that this would make me not want you!" He exclaimed, relieved.
"I killed people Edward! I let those people die yesterday! I lied to you and your family!" I said, trying to spell out all the wrongs I've committed.
"I've killed too Bella, we all have. And there was nothing you could have done for those people yesterday, but the fact that you saved at least one, a child, that is enough Love. And you only lied to protect yourself and my family, there is nothing to be ashamed of Bella." He said, walking over to wrap me up in a hug. I let him hold me, relief flooding through my veins at his acceptance. I had expected this to be much harder.
"Now what? Where do we go from here?" He asked.
"Well...we wait I guess."
"Wait for what?"
"For them to come after us."
"I won't let them hurt you."
"It's not with in our power to stop them." I said.
"I won't lose you Bella, not again." He whispered as he kissed my lips.