Another Word for Lonely
Thank you to Oh Mike, How will I go on for the amazing Banner!!! Go read her stories :) Bella's a half Vampire and half human, daughter of Aro, a secret that is to be kept at all costs. She moves away, disgusted from her life in Volterra, to Forks to start fresh. There, she runs into the Cullen's, who don't have any idea what she is, or who she's the daughter of. What happens when she falls for Edward, and Edward for her? And what will happen when Aro summons her back home? Who is in danger, Bella or the Cullens? AU Slightly OOC BxE
Rating 5/5 Word Count 2977 Review this Chapter
"So did you do the assignment for biology already?" Mike Newton asked me as I sat down in my seat. Would this love sick puppy ever lay off?
"Yep, did it yesterday." I said, tapping my foot impatiently as I waited for Edward.
"Oh cool, me too. So, uh, Bella... Have you asked anyone to the dance for this saturday yet?" He asked hesitantly, and I automatically stiffened.
"Um...no..." I said, fearing the direction this conversation was heading.
"Oh really? Yeah, no one's asked me yet either. You wanna go together?" He offered, trying to make it sound casual.
"I thought Jessica asked you?" I distinctly remember hearing about that through Edward.
"Oh yeah, but I was kinda waiting around and told her no. Now I think she's going with Tyler." He said.
"Waiting around for what?" I asked, slightly enjoying making him squirm.
"I, uh, kinda thought you'd ask me." He said sheepishly.
"Oh...Sorry Mike, but I was just going to go stag, see how it goes when I get there you know?" I said with a smile.
"Oh, ok sorry. I'll see you at the dance then." He said, sadly walking away just as Edward sat down.
"So you're not going to ask anyone to the dance?" He asked.
"Wasn't planning on it." I replied.
"Not even an attractive young guy with bronze hair and a golden smouldering gaze?" He asked with a smirk.
"Hmm, maybe. If you find one, let me know." I smirked right back.
"Not funny." He grumbled
"I thought it was." I chuckled, becoming quiet as started class.
Later at the Cullen's, the dance was all Alice talked about. She had already custom ordered the family's outfits and was trying to order me one as well.
"No Alice, I already have a dress." I explained.
"But Bellllaaaaa.... I have the perfect dress for you!" She whined.
"I do too, and I won't let a new Marc Jacobs Bow-Embellished Lace mini dress and the perfect Gucci Sofia Slingbacks go to waste. It's only a casual dance right? I can trade the gown for the mini right?" I asked.
"Yeah yeah... fine. Mini's are a safe bet for this type of dance. Save the gown for prom." She said.
"You're wearing a mini dress?" Edward asked me.
"Yep. I think Mike might enjoy the view." I teased.
"I think we both know that Mike is no competition." He said cockily, walking up towards his room. I was intrigued, I wanted to hear more, so I followed him. Once in his room, I closed the door behind me. I thought I had heard the others walk outside and into the forest, probably to hunt, but I wasn't paying much attention to it.
"What do you mean Mike is no competition? Competition for what?"
"For you." He said simply, messing with his stereo.
"For me? What are you talking about?" I asked trying to play dumb. Here was another conversation I had been dreading lately.
"Don't play dumb Bella, you know what I'm talking about. Ever since we shared that kiss in the forest that day, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. You're all I think about anymore, it's all consuming. To even imagine you humoring Mike Newton, that foul creature, I almost lose all control because of the jealousy that courses through my veins. I know you feel it too, or else you wouldn't growl everytime Jessica fawns over me, and you would have said yes to Mike by now." He pointed out, facing me.
"I don't growl..." I muttered.
"You do, it's quite sexy if I may be so bold to admit." He stepped closer. "I want to be the one to take you to the dance Bella, I want to be the one to give you a letter-man's jacket, I want to be yours." He said, taking another step closer. My breathing had picked up and my heart fluttered even faster that normal.
"I... I can't Edward. I'm not good for you. There's alot you don't know about me, and you deserve more than what I can give you." I said helplessly.
"Tell me what I don't know then, we can help each other, I can keep you safe." He said, taking another step forward as I took a step back.
"But that's the thing, you cant keep me safe. No matter how we may feel about each other, it doesn't matter. In order for you and your family to be safe, we can't be together." I said, tears trying to escape from my eyes. Edward was professing his love for me, and as much as I wanted to profess my own, I couldn't, not unless I wanted to give them a death sentence.
"I can Bella. My family and I can protect you! I love you. I would give my soul for you." He said more forcefully. I was stunned, although I had a feeling he had felt that way, I had never heard him say it out loud until now. "Bella? Did you hear me, I tell you that I love you and you ignore me." He said again.
"I...I heard you." I stuttered.
"And..." He asked.
"...." Silence from my end.
"Bella? Do you...Do you love me?" He asked, his eyes filling with pain at the prospect that I didn't love him back. I couldn't do this to him, I couldn't break his heart. I couldn't look him in his beautiful golden eyes and lie to him and tell him I didn't love him. As much as I should tell him I didn't, I couldn't fathom the possibility of not being with him, it hurt too much.
I was giving in to this Adonis, and I was basically giving the Cullen's a death sentence by giving into my own heart. I couldn't lie and break his heart, and I didn't want to. I wanted to love him, and be loved by him. I wasn't going to walk out that door and leave him heartbroken on the floor, I was going to stay and sieze the moment.
If he had been put in my life for a reason, then I would embrace whatever time we had left and do what ever I could to protect them when the time came.
I was picking a side, and I was no longer on Team Volterra. I was Team Cullen. Edward stood about 4 feet from me, his perfect features marred with saddness at my lack of response. I did the only thing I could do, or rather, what my body wanted me to do, and I lept to him and kissed him so passionately that for a moment, it was just us. Nothing else existed, but our lips as they moved to each other.
He had caught me when I lept at him, so my legs were wrapped aound his torso, and his arms were holding me to him, as my arms were wound around his neck and caught in the tangle of his hair. We stood there for what seemed like hours kissing, and I never wanted to stop. I pulled away eventually, panting, trying to catch my breath.
"Edward... I love you." I whispered into his ear. " I will always be yours, never doubt that. My heart is yours, please don't break it." I begged, nuzzling my head into his neck and kissing it softly.
"Bella... I love you. I will never hurt you, and I never want to be parted from your side again. And so help me god, I will hurt anyone who even tries to take you away from me." He said. He held me tightly for another few minutes before I finally unwrapped my legs and stood on my own.
"Edward... I have to go home." I said sadly.
"Okay Love, Iets go." He said, taking my hand and leading me slowly to my car.
"Will you come over tonight?" I asked, still holding my hand. I felt so vulnerable in this moment. We loved each other, neither of our hearts our own anymore, and I was terrified about what was to come. I needed to know that he would be there, that I would never be without god, I was becoming needy! "Or you don't have to if you don't want to, it's no big deal." I added, trying to get rid of the neediness. Edward only chuckled.
"I'll be there Love, I just need to talk to Alice for a second." He said, pulling me closer to him to give me a kiss. "See you soon." He said and opened my door so that I could slide in. I drove away, looking in my mirror to see him walking back towards the house.
Once at home, as I changed in to some pajamas, I was hyper aware that tonight was different.
Edward and I had professed our love for each other, and he was on his way now to stay over. What did this mean? Was this a normal stay, where he sat with me until I fell asleep and then would retreat to my living room to read, or was something more supposed to happen? We had already kissed, and the passion had been almost unbearable to control, and that was before we were dating.
Now, we were together which usually meant there were no boundries, so what would happen now that there was nothin holding us back? Oh god, I'm not ready for this! I sifted through my pajama drawer, looking for something not frumpy, and finally found it. It was a La Perla Tomorrows Style Chemise. It was sheer lace with a grey floral lace detail, and a lace lining, with a black satin empire waist lining. It was definitly not your ordinary PJs. It was conservative enough to look like it could be something that I could casually sleep in, but it was sexy enough to wear for your boyfriend.
I decided that nothing would happen tonight, but it didn't mean that I was going back to wearing the same old tank top and sweats to sleep now that I had someone worth dressing up for. Besides, I wanted to know that Edward's eyes wouldn't wander, I wanted to keep them on me. This meant I had to go shopping to up the wardrobe selection, maybe Alice and I could go tomorrow... Just as I was thinking about a possible shopping trip for the following day, I heard Edward climbing up my tree to my window. I took a deep breath, nervous about what he'd think about my chioce of sleep attire.
"Sorry I took so long, Alice was being...Whoa, Bella, you look....wow." He said, not able to keep his jaw closed.
"I look wow? Thanks, I think." I said smiling. His eyes were slowly becoming darker, and it sent a shiver up my spine.
"I've never seen you wear that to bed before." He said rougher than usual.
"I never had a reason to." I said quietly. He was slowly walking closer to me, his hands clenching together, it reminded me of a lion stalking it's prey.
"And you have a reason now?"
"And what's that reason?"
"You." I whispered.
"Bella..." He groaned. "You're killing me, you know that right?"
"How can I kill you if you're already dead?" I teased.
"Fine, you're right. You're making me feel alive, is that better?" He smirked. He was now only inches from me.
"Much better." I breathed, glnacing at his perfect lips. We had teased enough, now I wanted those lips on me. We stared at each other, neither one making the first move. Slowly he brought his hands to rest on my hips, gripping me softly and pulling me closer until our bodies we against each other. He leaned his head down and placed a feather light kiss on my shoulder, across my collar bone, over to my other shoulder. He kissed a trail up my neck to my ear and lightly nipped at it before whispering to me.
"Bella...I...I want you so badly. But tonight isn't the time. You deserve this moment to be more than this, to be special." He said quietly, kissing my forehead lightly before pulling back. I heaved a sigh of relief, I wasn't ready yet and I was glad he felt the same way too.
"I know. We can wait for the right time." I said smiling. "Instead of going off and reading while I sleep, can you just stay with me the whole night and pretend you slept?"
"Of course." He laughed. I climbed into my bed as Edward removed his shirt and shoes and climbed in with me. This was the first time I had seen him with his shirt off and I would be lying if I said I didn't drool a little bit. "Bella, your mouth is leaking." Edward laughed even harder.
"Shut it." I mumbled, embarrased that he'd seen. "If you weren't so damn attractive, that wouldn't have happened!" I teasingly accused him. He laid down on his back and snuggled into his side, his arm draped around me. My hand was on his chest, absently drawing circles on his flesh. We were silent, the only sounds coming from my beating heart. My fingers danced across his skin, relishing in the way he would shudder and my exploration of his chest. I began to trace the outline of his stomach, and the muscles that were defined there. I traced the outline of his belly button, and contemplated the idea of exploring lower...
"Don't even think about it." He said, a smile evident in his voice.
"What?" I said innocently.
"I know why you hesitated, and unless you're ready for my exploration of your body, you may not want to take that pretty little hand of yours any further." He said.
"Fine." I said defeated. I dozed off shortly afterwards and had the best sleep I had had in a long time.
By the time I had woken up, the sun was already up and Edward was looking at me.
"Have a nice dream?" He asked, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Oh god, what did I say?" I asked, still groggy.
"Only my name...50 times, give or take a few." He full on smiled.
"Oh god..." I mumbled into my pillow, embarrased.
"Don't be embarrased Bella, it was nice to hear you say my name. You even moaned it a couple of times...what I wouldn't give to know waht that dream was about." He said.
"You're lying!" I accused, sitting up.
"Yep, I am. But you did say my name alot." He chuckled.
"What time is it?" I asked, it seemed awfully light outside.
"2pm." He said.
"You slept so peacefully, I didn't want to wake you. It seems you needed the sleep." He said.
"Oh jeeze thanks." I said sarcastically. "I'm gonna shower."
"OH Alice called, she said she'd love to go to Seattle for shopping today? Did you two have plans?" He asked.
"Well, no. But I thought about asking her yesterday and I guessshe got the memo." I said, walking to my bathroom to get ready.
I came downstairs to a chattering Alice and an irritated Edward.
"OHMYGOD BELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!! You and Edward are finally a couple! This is so exciting!!!!" She cried, jumping up and down and leaping at me to give me a hug.
"Finally? Did you see this happening or something?" I asked.
"Well...not really. I just knew that eventually, you two would be together. I didn't really see when it would happen. Are you ready to go? I told Edward this is striclty a girls day and that he has to stay behind." That explained his irriated facial expression.
"Yep, I'm ready." I said, walking over to Edward. "Hey Alice, can I meet you outside, I want to say goodbye to Edward."
"Sure Bella." She said, as she bounded away towards her yellow Porsche. I stood right in front fo Edward, slightly towering over him since he sat in one of my breakfast bar stools. I wrapped my hands aound his neck and into his hair, pulling his lips closer to my own. I kissed his lips softly, gradually adding more force and passion to the kiss until we were both gasping for air, if that were even possible for him.
"I love you. I'll be back soon." I whispered against his lips.
"Why are you going anyway? This is our first official day as a couple and you spend it with my sister!" He said gumpiliy.
"How can I make it up to you?" I asked.
"This is pretty hard to make up Bella." He said frowning.
"How about this..." I said, and I opened up my mind and flashed him mental images of me wearing another pair of new over the knee boots, like the kind he loved so much and him slowly unzipping them off of me. I let the image linger, imagining the feel of his fingers as they slowly grazed my skin as he removed the boots, the boots I just so happened to wearing at the moment. I let the image switch to us both snuggling with each other in my bed, boots removed and a new nightie that I had planned on buying at the store today.
"That is too tempting. I'll see you when you get back." He said, letting me go. I smiled at him as I walked out the door. I decided to tease him a bit more and threw him another mental image of he and I at the beach, me in my soon to be new bikini, and I laughed when I heard him growl.
"Boys are just too easy." I laughed, getting into Aliced car.