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Cold Nights Warm Days

Summary:
This story takes place after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. Bella goes through everything with Jacob, She does go cliff diving alone and gets saved by Jake but Alice never had her vision. 2 years after she finds a way to Edward. But is that what she really wants? Does she still love him or does someone else occupy her heart now?


Notes:
Bella/Jacob Rated NC-17 for future chapters Points of view will alternate as necessary Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


2. Chapter 2 Sleep Talking

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I fought the urge to open my eyes. I knew that if I did, he would be gone. I had to pretend to be sleeping. That would be the only way he’d stay if he was really there. I had to keep my breathing under control too; if I breathe uneasily he would know I’m awake. I was terrible at deceiving people but for him I could be an actress any time.

I kept breathing and counting my breaths in my mind to make sure to leave the same amount of time between each breath.

1, 2, breathe, 1, 2, breathe, 1, 2, breathe.

It seemed to work perfectly. It’s a good thing he never could read my mind.

Suddenly I felt coldness radiating close to my cheek which made his smell even stronger. A cold hand softly touched my cheek and I flinched as soon as it touched me. I turned my face the other way in an attempt to keep my breathing relaxed. I still couldn’t believe my heart kept the charade.

For a while there was nothing but silence, and I was beginning to think that maybe he left.

WRONG. I felt a cold arm slip under my legs and another behind my neck. Next thing I knew I was being carried.

For an instant my breathing hesitated; but I knew I had to keep pretending. I couldn’t let him leave. Not yet. I wanted him with me for as long as possible.

I open my mouth to “sleep talk” something normal for me to do in my sleep.

“No,” I whispered. “Please don’t…. just don’t…” I had no idea what I was trying to say but it seemed to work.

He took a few steps and I turned my face into his chest and wrapped my arms over his neck. I held onto him as tightly as I could. He tried to set me down onto the bed but I wasn’t ready to let go. I reached and grabbed his arm and I cuddled to it onto my side. He didn’t move it away. Instead he sat on the bed and let me hug his arm to myself.

I wanted him to hold me but that wouldn’t happen. He didn’t love me! I knew that much was true. Then why was he here? Did he feel bad? Instantly I felt the anger that I was hiding; that anger that I hadn’t allowed myself to feel. I wanted to make him pay. I wanted to hurt him. I was beyond mad. But what could I do? He didn’t love me. He wouldn’t care what I did. You just can’t leave someone you love!

I kept the debate going on my mind when I heard him talk, well whisper.

“I love you, Bella. My Bella”

His Bella, he called me his! This had to be a dream, a hallucination, anything but real.

It was then I realized the anger I have been feeling for him. His words couldn’t fix all the pain I been enduring for the past 2 years. As much as I love him a part of me hated him. I wanted to hurt him; I had to. He hurt me. He was not capable of truly loving me. He broke all his promises. I was being selfish and I didn’t care. I was too angry to care. All I knew is that I wanted to make him hurt too.

“Jake” I whispered. “Jacob, please…” instantly I heard him catch his breath.

It was too late to regret what I said. I could never have Edward back anyway. So why would it matter now what I say?

I felt his hand on my hair slowly combing through it with his fingers. He was still there. I was still holding on to him. How long would it last?

“I’m sorry, Bella, I shouldn’t had come back. Now your dreams are of him, and I shouldn’t get in your life anymore.” His voice was tinted with sadness.

Why was he talking to me in my sleep? Had he done this before? No, I would feel him. I would know right? He said he wouldn’t get in my life anymore, so he’s been around. Oh God. I felt guilt instantly for trying to hurt him.

“Edward” I whispered. He had to know he was the only one in my dreams. “I love... you.”

It hurt more than I expected to say it, but maybe he’ll stay with me; maybe eternity is possible. My hopes were getting too high. I knew they were but I wanted him with me forever. Forever!

“Oh love,” he sighed.

I could hear the pain in his words but my heart rejoiced. Oh love! He said oh love! He still loves me! He came back to me!

I couldn’t keep my emotion from exploding in my head.

“Kiss,” I whispered a command. Would he do it? Maybe he would. I had to try it; I wouldn’t get another opportunity to keep him if I didn’t.

I felt him start to shake. This was something really unusual for him to do. Shaking belonged in describing Jake not Edward. Oh Jake… how I miss him. Why am I thinking of Jake now? Oh right shaking.

I snapped back to Edward as I felt him gently move me. He slowly lay down next to me while pulling me into his arms.

“Oh Bella” he chuckled “you’re a terrible liar you know?”

He knew I was awake. Oh God. I didn’t want to get caught. But did he really know or was he taking a chance to see if I was awake? I had no idea what to do now. If I kept panicking my heart would eventually catch up to the excitement.