Cold Nights Warm Days
This story takes place after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. Bella goes through everything with Jacob, She does go cliff diving alone and gets saved by Jake but Alice never had her vision. 2 years after she finds a way to Edward. But is that what she really wants? Does she still love him or does someone else occupy her heart now?
Bella/Jacob Rated NC-17 for future chapters Points of view will alternate as necessary Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
3. Chapter 3 All For Love
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"Kiss," I whispered a command. Would he do it? Maybe he would. I had to try it; I wouldn't get another opportunity to keep him if I didn't.
I felt him start to shake. This was something really unusual for him to do. Shaking belonged in describing Jake, not Edward. Oh Jake... how I miss him. Why am I thinking of Jake now? Oh right shaking.
I snapped back to Edward as I felt him gently move me. He slowly laid down next to me while pulling me into his arms.
"Oh Bella," he chuckled, "you're a terrible liar you know?"
He knew I was awake. Oh God. I didn't want to get caught. But did he really know or was he taking a chance to see if I was awake? I had no idea what to do now. If I kept panicking my heart would eventually catch up to the excitement.
Chapter 3 All For Love
I felt his hand brush my hair away from my face. Then I felt his cold lips on my forehead. Not what I meant when I said “kiss.” This was so Edward. I hated him for this. What is wrong with me? I finally have him here like I have been wishing for 2 years and I’m wasting precious time hating him.
“Bella… Love, please open your eyes” he whispered to me.
Should I? It still felt unreal and if I opened them and he wasn’t there it would hurt too much. If it is real, how do I know he wouldn’t just leave again? I had to keep him with me. I just had to. Without him I’m incomplete.
“Love, I know you’re awake” he said as his hand softly caressed my face.
Hmm I love the feel of his hands on me. I just wanted to stay like this forever and feel him close to me. I started to forget who I was. His hand on my skin, although cold, it felt like it was burning me. Then unexpectedly his hand moved to my neck, just barely touching me but I felt him. Slowly he continued to my shoulders and my arms. Before I knew it, my body began to overheat.
My heart suddenly leaped into high-speed chase. I wanted him. I slowly opened my eyes. What I saw surprised me. His gaze was like nothing I had ever seen before. His eyes were dark, the same looked he got when he was, umm… thirsty, but more intense. I had seen them like that but it was never directed to me. At least he never let me catch him looking at me like that.
He was looking at me like he was going to attack me and the thought of that excited me beyond reason. I felt a rush of moisture flow out of me, and I saw him inhale deeply.
“Hmm… Bella, you smell lovely” he said his voice was rough and urgent as he spoke through gritted teeth.
His eyes met mine and his heated stare brought another rush of moisture out of me, and I lost control. I needed him. I wanted to feel him closer. I was going to lose my mind with this torture. Without thinking I moved on up to straddle him, and surprisingly he let me.
For the first time I felt him. I wasn’t sure if I was scared or excited. He felt bigger and harder than I anticipated. I was indeed amazed.
His hands moved to my hips and he held me in place. I wanted to move, I was craving him. I needed to feel that lovely friction. Then he began to move me slowly. I was in my own personal heaven. For the first time ever I saw him start to lose control.
His grip on my hips tightened which only excited me more making me even wetter. He inhaled my scent again and grinded me harder against him. The look in his face was enough to drive me insane. I felt his hands suddenly let go of me and a loud noise brought me back to reality.
I looked around trying to comprehend what just happened and I saw part of my bed post on his hand.
“Charlie is coming.” He spoke quickly as he laid me under my covers and disappeared in less than a minute.
I was confused for a second. I was barely beginning to understand what had happened when Charlie barged into my room.
“Bella, what was that, is everything okay?” Charlie said as his eyes searched my room.
“Yes dad, it must have been outside.” I quickly responded.
I was still agitated. He looked at me doubtfully. I was about to get out of bed when I realized my clothes felt not in place.
“Stay here.” he ordered as he walked out of my room and headed down the stairs.
As soon as he left I got out of bed to try to figure my clothes out. As I looked in the mirror I was stunned at the vision.
My clothes were ripped in places, my shorts where half there, my underwear was nowhere to be seen, and my shirt was the only thing mostly in place. How did my clothes end up like this without me even noticing? And where in the world is my underwear? The thought of him actually taking it weirdly excited me.
“Bella control yourself” I said to myself
I quickly looked for some clothes to put on before Charlie came back in. Would Edward come back? I began to wonder. Would we continue where we left off? I doubt it. He’s probably off hating himself from almost doing something with me, while I’m here wishing Charlie hadn’t been here so he would’ve at least stayed.
“I’m going to bed” Charlie called out as he walked back up the stairs.
I sat on my bed staring at the window again. It was closed. Did he close it? I ran up to it and opened it. That window had not been closed in two years.
I whispered out into the night. “Edward”
I knew he was there. I knew he would hear. I didn’t know if he would come. I went back to my bed, his scent was still there and I wanted to drown in it. I was more tired than I realized. Perhaps all the emotion of the night was just too much for me. I drifted off to a dreamless sleep.
Finally I caught his scent but it was late so I decided to rest. I found a nice grassy spot and laid down. I began to laugh at my stupidity as I remember how I ended up in this situation.
The night she came to my door I was so sure I had finally gotten through. The way her heart was beating before I opened the door, I had never heard it beat so crazy; it almost matched my own heartbeat. Oh, and the way her eyes shined when she saw me open the door: she seemed so alive. The most alive I’ve seen her in days. I ached to pull her into a breathless hug, but I knew better. Instead I just settled with whispering her name, “Bella…”
She looked up at me with a new emotion in her eyes. I saw a sadness overtake her pretty face and her eyes focused on something on the floor. I hated seeing her sad. I’ve seen too much of that in her already, but atleast she was showing emotion. After the bloodsuckers left she had stopped showing emotions. I knew she was sad but she wouldn’t let me see it. She was just blank around everyone. For the first time I saw her let that emotion completely show around me.
I wasn’t so sure anymore if it was a good thing. 5 minutes had passed and she still hadn’t said a word. She just stood there in my doorway. She looked re-broken, if that’s even possible. I took her hand in mine and guided her into my living room. She automatically walked and sat on my couch still looking at the floor. I couldn’t take it anymore and I put my hands on her face making her focus on me instead.
“What’s wrong Bells?” I asked her.
“Jake, we need to talk.” She whispered. It sounded so rehearsed.
“Talk to me then hunny” I said afraid to push her to hard and make her shut down.
“I think we should stop seeing each other. I care about you too much to hurt you. You deserve someone who loves you. I’m just getting in the way of you truly finding the right person for you.” She said automatically shutting out every emotion.
“Bella what are you talking about? I don’t want anyone else. I know you don’t love me like I love you and I understand it. I just want you in my life. We’re just friends and you being my friend is not getting in the way of anything” I said trying to reason with her.
She then looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I knew instantly I had said the wrong thing. I just didn’t understand how. She suddenly stood up and anger overtook her face.
“Exactly Jake, we’re just friends. Now we’re not friends” she said with emphasis on friends. “I don’t know why I even bothered with this, goodbye Jake have a nice life” She said as she stormed out of my house.
What just happened? I asked myself as I sat stunned on my sofa. Then it hit me. She was trying to break up with me. Did she think she was my girlfriend? Of course I wanted her to be my girlfriend, but we never discussed it. I knew she didn’t love me so I never pushed nor assumed.
I was even more confused than before. She didn’t love me so why was she so hurt? She always made it clear she was just my friend. I had to fix this. She’s crazy if she thinks I would let her walk out of my life.
I ran outside for my bike. I knew I would catch up to her before she even left the reservation without any problems. I only drove like a mile when I saw her truck on the side of the road. I pulled up behind her and opened her door. She looked at me with tears in her eyes. The sight broke my heart. I tried to take her into my arms but she pushed me away, although I knew I could easily grab her I knew she didn’t want me too.
“I’m sorry Bells. For whatever I said. You’re my world and you’re crazy if you think I’m gonna let you walk away from me” I said in an attempt to make it all better.
“You don’t get it Jake” she said through tears. “I don’t want you. You’re not him. You don’t make me feel like he does and you never will. I need him”
Although I knew that already, hearing her actually say those words hurt me more than I knew possible. I was angry at her. I had never been angry at her. I grabbed her by the shoulder planning to shake her and make her take it all back when I saw my hands shaking. Was I close to phasing? I was mad at her but I could never hurt her. I clenched my fists and forced my arms to stay at my sides. I was too angry to be nice to her. She wanted me away then I’ll stay away.
“Fine Bella it’s what you want then goodbye. But know this, he’s not coming back. He left you because he didn’t want you. He said so himself. Don’t come crying back to me when it comes to be too much again. I’m done with this.”
With that I walked back to my bike and left. I turned back and saw she had taken off too. I was lost without her and I knew it. She had not right to treat me the way she did, I didn’t do anything wrong. All I ever did was tried to help her, but she doesn’t want me to then that’s her decision. I went home and slept for what felt a long time.
The next morning was when I made my decision. I remember every detail perfectly
I woke up to realize I had missed the pack’s daily meeting. I was surprised they didn’t come get me but glad. I felt sick and empty for the first time ever. I wondered if this is what Bella felt when he left. I had to clear my mind so pulled my jeans and went out for a run.
I stopped thinking I just ran, I wanted to phase but I didn’t want to be found and Sam would come for me as soon as he found out what happened. I just kept running for what seem forever. I don’t know how far I had gone when I suddenly caught a scent.
“Vampire” I whispered to myself.
I was in an angry rage. Maybe I could take one out myself. That’ll probably make me feel better, but I realized it was an old trail.
Disappointed I sat on a rock and thoughts of Bella overflowed my mind again. It hurt so much to think of never seeing her again. For a second time I wondered if this is what Bella had felt when he left her, but this time I cried. I cried for my Bella, I cried for her pain, I cried for my pain.
I knew I hurt but I knew I loved her more than my pain. I had to make her not hurt, not like this. I must have been really losing my mind. I knew I had to find Edward and make him come back for her.
I bitterly laughed again as I laid on the ground. I must be dumbest guy ever. The things I did for this girl. I knew I was in love with her beyond reason. Only she could make me come look for my enemy to bring him back to the girl I’m in love with. I didn’t really sleep. I knew I was going to lose her as soon as he came back. I knew he would come back for her. All I had to do was show him how much she hurts for him and he would come back. I hated knowing that.
I got up and decided to just get it over with it. I ran a few miles and came upon a cottage. His smell was concentrated there. Ugh it was sickening. How could she ever stand it? I wondered.
I didn’t even knock on the door when he opened it and looked at me blankly. He looked dead. Oh wait he is dead. I began to doubt my decision.
“What do you want?” he said emotionless.
I let my part of my plan slipped and he ofcourse read my mind and he laughed.
“You came to ask me to go back to her? What she couldn’t love you?” He asked, obviously pleased that Bella hadn’t forgotten him.
“That doesn’t matter” I said closing in any emotion. I was not going to give him that satisfaction of knowing what I felt.
“I know what you feel Black” he responded to my thoughts annoyed. “And it satisfies me in now way.”
“Bella needs you” I said ignoring his previous comment. “She’s really losing her mind now. I’ve tried helping her but she doesn’t want my help and I know she’s not gonna get better on her own. She’s hurting and I can’t stand her seeing her like this. I know you do love her and as much as I hate it she loves you too” I talked fast; I just wanted to get it all over with.
I thought of Bella and showed him every time I could remember seeing her cry over him. I saw his face break down into pain. The same look Bella got when someone mentioned his name.
I wasn’t done showing him when he yelled “enough, Black” I stopped not for him but because remembering hurt me too.
“Will you come back then?” I asked wishing he would say no.
“I have to. It would be impossible to not go back.” He responded.
I regreted my decision of coming here and I left. I phased for the first time in my three day journey and ran. Without destionation, I just ran. Bella will be okay and that’s all that mattered.