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Realizations

Summary:
"It was only a matter of time - and not much of it - before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that" -Edward Cullen
Copyright Stephenie Meyer. New Moon, Chapter 23 What if Edward hadn't been able to resist? If he did indeed show up and beg Bella for forgiveness? This is Edward's side of my story, Visitor. It doesn't really matter which one you read first. Realizations Banner


Notes:
*timidly offers EPOV, hoping readers will be forgiving* Okay, so it's been waay too long. I feel really bad for that... I hope it's worth the wait.


2. Chapter 2

Rating 5/5   Word Count 959   Review this Chapter

Jasper and I turned around and ran away from the house, far enough that the others wouldn’t hear our discussion. We stopped once we hit the bare forest, and Jasper sat down on a fallen log, cradling his head in his hands. I sat next, to him, and waited, and listened. His thoughts were pained and I could tell this had been weighing him down for some time now. He was angry and disgusted with himself, and he truly believed it was his fault the family was so broken. Suddenly I felt extremely guilty for leaving, but I knew it was just Jasper’s remorse getting into my system.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and spoke up. “It’s not your fault, you know"

He turned to me and I could see the pain, the self doubt in his eyes.

“How so?” he asked. “If I’d been able to control myself at the party, you never would have been deluded into leaving, and we wouldn’t be sitting here talking about this. I know how unhappy you both are -” I opened my mouth to protest, but Jasper held up his hand. “Edward, you and I both know it killed Bella when you left. Deny it if you will, but take it from someone who knows these things. The way she felt, probably still feels, is at least equal to how you feel about her. Regardless, if I was better at controlling my thirst like the rest of you,-"

I didn’t let him stop me from interrupting me this time. “Jasper, it’s not your fault. If it wasn’t the birthday party, it would have been something else. It’s best for her to be with another man. Granted, that doesn’t seem to factor anymore, but the fact is, our world’s not good for her. It’s only my selfishness letting me go back now.”

He raised an eyebrow. Change her, it makes sense.

I heaved a sigh. Why did it always come back to this? “Not you too. She’s staying human, if it’s the last thing I do.”

Just keep telling yourself that, but I’ll believe my wife, if you don’t mind. Now let’s go back. I’m sure you’d rather be on the road by now...


When we returned, the others, including the Denalis, were seated patiently in the living room. Jasper strode over to Alice and took her hand – the excitement radiating off her was palpable, and only served to brighten Jasper’s mood even more. As I glanced around, I realized we were missing another family member.

“Where’s Irina?”

Carmen started to speak, but Alice cut her off. “She’s dealing with some personal stuff right now,” She won’t be back before you go. She started translating the Constitution into Spanish, and I couldn’t get any more out of her. I narrowed my eyes at her – I knew she was hiding something – but I was too anxious to see Bella to press the matter any further. I’d wring it out of her when I returned. Besides that, Emmett was tapping his foot impatiently, mentally whining about how he hadn’t wrestled with me in forever, and he wanted to fix that.

“I appreciate the eagerness, Em, but there’s something I have to do first.” I said. He sighed heavily, but I ignored him and continued – he’d think this was worth it. “I’m going back to Forks, to Bella”

No sooner had the words left my mouth, than Esme had her arms around me once again. Edward, you have no idea how wonderful that is. I grinned guiltily and she reached up to put her hands on my shoulders. I missed my newest daughter.

I didn’t miss the “daughter”, and it melted my stone heart. “Thank you, Mom. That means a lot to me, and I know if she were here, she’d be so touched.”

Esme beamed, and stepped back to let Carlisle hug me. “I’m proud of you, son. Believe me, this is the right thing for both of you.”

I smiled even wider at his reassurance, but my joy was dampened a bit when I heard Rosalie huff behind me. I whirled around to see that her lips were pursed and her eyes were closed. Emmett cautioned, “Rose...”

“No, Emmett, this isn’t right. She can’t be one of us. She’ll be turned, and when she comes to realize it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, she’ll resent him for it, and everyone will be miserable. I won’t just stand by happily and let him ruin Bella’s life.” She finished her rant and stormed off, and a door slammed upstairs a moment later.

Emmett moved to follow her, stopping to glance apologetically at me. I’m really happy for you guys, and I’m going to let you finish, but Rosalie has-

“It’s okay, Emmett, just go,” I sighed, but he was already long gone.

It was silent for a moment, and I looked to Alice. She was bouncing, though she was trying to be tactful and hide it, but I figured I’d better get going before she just went and collected Bella herself. “Well, I should be back in a couple days.” I said. Alice nodded in confirmation, and I started walking towards the door.

Edward, Carlisle’s voice stopped me, Are you driving?

“Yes,” I answered, curious. “Why?”

Take my car. It’s faster than the Volvo, and less recognizable. He tossed me the keys and I smiled gratefully at him. Now go! He winked.

I didn’t need telling twice. I ran to the garage and was sitting in the Mercedes faster than you could say “Isabella”