Glitter in the Air
Songfic: Glitter in the Air - P!nk Bella has to make the decision of whether to kiss Jacob or not. Can she make the right decision?
1. Glitter in the Air
Rating 5/5 Word Count 803 Review this Chapter
Jacob leaned in, taking my small white hands in his large, warm, russet ones. “Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?”
I bent my head to look at the cool silver crescent scar on my hand. “Yes,” I whispered, looking up to find his face too close to mine.
“Have you ever felt we were supposed to be together?” Jacob asked. “If the bloodsuckers didn’t exist?”
I nodded gently, hating myself for giving him false hope.
“Close your eyes,” he whispered huskily. “And trust it, just trust it.” I took a deep breath. Could I do this? I asked myself. Maybe, but not right now.
“Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?” I asked changing the subject, my heart aching as I thought of Edward in the sun. “It’s beautiful. The sun catches each grain and shoots rainbows out at all angles. If there’s a light breeze, the sparkles get carried up into the sky and away from you. It’s like watching a gust of magic.” I smiled to myself. “But then my mom came outside and yelled because it was something to do with her spiritual fad...”
“Have you ever looked fear in the face?” asked Jacob seriously. “And said I just don't care?”
“Yes,” I sighed regretfully. I didn’t care that Edward was a vampire, that he wanted to kill me or that James was going to destroy me himself. “But not every time; I’m not that brave.”
“It's only half past the point of no return,” Jake murmured gently. “The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn, the thunder before the lightning, the breath before the phrase. Have you ever felt this way?”
“Not so much,” I whispered. “I didn’t really acknowledge the effect it would have on the rest on my life last time, but now it’s different.” I looked him in the eyes, squeezing his fingers softly. “Now I realise I can’t go on as I have, but I don’t want to drag you into my mess. You deserve better than me, someone who can love you without longing for a lost love. Someone whole. I want you to have a chance at life, Jacob, without having to drag me around with you.”
“You won’t, Bella,” promised Jacob. “I’ve made my decision.”
Tears welled up in my eyes in appreciation that I would never have to let Jacob go.
“Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone? Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone?” Jake shook his head. “Well that’s what it was like when you disappeared with Sam. I waited and waited. You’re like my anti-depressant, Jake, my personal sun; you light up everything, I can’t help but be happy when I’m with you.”
His face stretched into an amazing, soft and sparkling smile. He stroked my face tenderly from my hairline to my jaw, stroking the tears off my cheeks. Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
“Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside, Jake?” He chuckled.
“Who were you when you came to mine with the bikes?” He asked, leaning in. “I didn’t know her, really. Not like I know you now. You were literally a pile of bleached bones covered in a sliver of skin, but still beautiful.” He began to lean in.
It's only half past the point of oblivion. The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run. The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames. Have you ever felt this way?
Jake’s warm lips pressed against mine lovingly and I accepted them and our potential future swirled in front of my eyes as we began to breathe heavier, pushing against each other desperately.
***There you are, sitting in the garden***
***Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar***
***You called me sugar***
“Have you ever wished for an endless night?” I asked Jacob, looking up from where my face was rested on his beautiful burning chest.
“Well tonight it’s like I’ve Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight,” he growled, a rough, satisfied chuckle rumbling out from under my ear.
“Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?” I breathed. I knew my answer. This would be the best night I could ever have without Edward, and since he didn’t love me anymore, it would be the best night I could allow myself to recall.
“I don’t need to,” replied Jacob, stroking my face. “Because with you, I know it can only get better. Love you, Bells.”
“I... love you too.” As I hesitated, I realised my words were true. I loved him as much as I was capable of loving anyone ever again.