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Scars Of A Torn heart

Summary:
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The Cullens are in Australia when a new influenza out brake strikes. Carlisle asked Edward to help him with a patient that has been through so much in her life; and will change Edward forever. The trauma of slavery affected Isabella greatly but can Edward be able to help her, not only in her battle with the influenza but also the battle that goes on in her mind? What will happen to the two lonely souls? Will they find happiness? Will they find Love? Or will they force each other apart because of their pasts? And will they finally find their Happy Ending? Edward/Bella


Notes:
its my first Fanfic. so be kind. i don't own any of the twilight charters SM owns all.


11. Chapter 11:Dream a little dream

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Chapter 11: dream a little dream

It felt like we sat there in silence for hours as she thought through her thoughts even though it was just seconds. Still she had not said a word but she had a lot to think about even with our minds being able to comprehend vast amounts of information finding out that you best friend is in fact in love with you takes a bit to comprehend. She looked up to me and opened her mind to me. Letting all her thoughts and feelings flow through her mind.'I love you too and...I think I have all along. I just would not grasp that maybe in some why you could love me. So I accepted that I could never be yours and then you go and tell me that you do love me and it's just hard to understand,'"I don't deserve your love Edward. I never have deserved any one; especially you. You're perfect and I love you so much," She looked like she had tears in her eyes as she said and thought this.

She really loved me? "You love me?"

She half smiled at me, "yeah, I love you. So very much."

I pulled her into my arms and hugged her to me, "it is I who do not deserve you Bella and yet here I am with you in my arms knowing that youlove me."

"But you deserve someone better than me."

"You don't see yourself properly I have told you this over and over. You are an amazing person Bella and don't forget that."

"It just so hard to forget something like that was drummed so much into my head. You've seen in my head what it was and is like still. It just seems that I can't get rid of these types of thoughts and it scars me."

"I know love but no one is perfect."

"You are."

I laughed without hummer, "No, no I'm not even close"

"You might not be completely perfect but your closer to Carlisle then you think."

"No I'm not. I cannot be closer to Carlisle's perfection because it is beyond my reach especially now," I said looking down ashamed of myself and my actions of the past.

"The past is the past Edward no matter how much we want to change it we will never be able. We all made mistakes and things we regret. We both know this and we should both listen to our own and each other's advice because we say the same thing..."

"But we just don't listen to that advice," I finished, "I know it's just hard but you know this just as well as I do."

"We both have things that need fixing but that just takes time and we have all the time in the world," she said smiling and I hugged her closer. We must have sat there and talked all day for the sun was setting. We turned in the direction of it and watched as the great ball of fire went behind the mountains out of our view, for as one day ended here another was just beginning in another part of the world.

We got up and I picked her up and put her on my back; she laughed as I did so. Her bell like laugh echoed through the bush land. I put her down half way to the house because she wanted to race. We sprinted through the shrubs and weaved around the trees. When we enter the meadow were the house stood I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me spinning her around in a circle and making her laugh more then we fell to the ground chuckling.

When we got into the house all the family except for Alice were giving us curious glances as to the change in the way we acted around each other because of my arm wrapped around her waist just as hers was around mine.

I looked to Alice as she had a huge grin planted on her pail face and seemed to vibrate from her enthusiasm. When Jasper saw this he put a hand on her shoulder and she immediately calmed down a bit yet she was still smiling brightly.

"So what did we miss?" Jasper asked

"Well..."Bella and I said at the same time, 'what should we say?' Bella said to me though her thoughts. I was about to say something out loud when Alice beat me to it.

"THEIR TOGETHER!" Alice screamed in happiness.

"After all these years our little Edie has finally done it," Emmet said with laugh.

"My names not Edie," I said glaring at Emmet but all he did was chuckle and shrug his massive shoulders.

"Oh Edward, Bella I'm so happy for you both," Esme said smiling at us. Her honey coloured eyes gleamed with joy and happiness. The love she held for her family shone in her eye like the sun in a clear blue sky. No matter what we would do she would love us just the same as always.

We both smile up at Esme as she hugged us both smiling brightly.

As the day continued we did as we normally did hanging around the house doing different things. Bella and I were in the family room flipping through the many station on the TV and reading whena squealing Alice came into the room followed by a confused Jasper. 'This is going to be so FUN!'she said in her thoughts and that got me worried. I looked up from my book to Bella at my side as she had just woken up from her hour of slumber. We both looked to Alice as she called the family together.

Alice was jumping up and down with excitement. "So why are we all here for Alice?" Emmet said lounging back in his chair with his arm swung over Rose's shoulders.

"We're all going to the Melbourne cup!" Alice squealed.

"Ah what's the Melbourne cup?" Emmet asked.

"It's a horse racing thing. It's real big in Australia but I'm guessing that we're not going for the horses," Bella answered him.

"What would we be going for?" asked Emmet.

"THE FASHION!" Alice basically screamed in delight. I rolled my eyes at her out burst of excitement and chuckled along with Bella at her enthusiasm.

"So when is this Melbourne cup?" I asked.

"It's next month. So pleeease can we go? Pleeeaassse Carlisle?" She said giving him her puppy eyes.

"Well...what do you guys think?"

"I guess it won't be that bad..." said Rose

"All right why not," said Emmet

"Yeah it just might be fun," I said

"Yeah ok. I in ," Bella said

"What ever Alice wants, I'm good with," Jasper said looking at a smiling Alice

"We could all go as a family, it will be fun," Esme said smiling brightly.

"YEAH! We are going to have so much FUN! I'm going to get every thing ready!" Alice said just before breezed away up to her room to her computer.

Me and Bella chucked and went back to what we were doing when Bella's stomach growled and she licked her lips. "Come help me make something to eat," she said tugging on my hand. We got into the kitchen and she got all the ingredients out to make a meal for herself and told me what to do. We put my iPod into the iPod speakers so we could listen and cook at the same time but Bella ended up dancing too. I watched her as she danced around the kitchen so very graceful that any dancer would be jealous. She heard my ramblings about her and she rolled her eyes and nudged her elbow into my side so I wrapped my arms around her waist swinging her hips to the dance music. In a matter of moments we were dancing to the heavy beat and soon I realised we were not alone. Alice had pulled Jasper into the kitchen to dance and soon all us 'kids' were dancing trying to outdo the other.

It seemed to get even more let's just say dirty but we did not get too far because

a) I would not be doing that because I have already been to un-gentlemanly already and

b) The 'music' had court the attention of Esme and Carlisle.

We were so into the music that we did not know until the music just cut off in mid verse and that's when we saw a very unimpressed Esme and Carlisle was trying to hold in his chuckles and we just froze.

"Oops," I blurted out.

"'Oops' is right. This is very improper I would have expected more from all of you. THAT is for the bedroom only NOT the KITCHEN! Is that under stood?" Esme said glaring at all of us.

"But weren't really doing anything," said Emmet and I rolled my eyes at him. He and Rose were the worsted in THAT department and I snorted at what he said.

"Then what WERE you doing Emmet?" I said almost bursting out laughing. He glared at me and pocked his tong out at me like a three year old and just before he could bring his tong back Esme had a hold of his tong pulling him down so she was eye level with him.

"Well what were you doing?" Esme growled at him.

By this time Emmet was really scared. She let go of his tong so he could speak and we were all waiting for Mr. Dumbo here to answer.

"Well... we were...we were club dancing," he said grinning, but Esme was still glaring at him... and us.

"Esme it was not appropriate of us to do this kind of thing especially in your kitchen and we are really sorry. We won't do it again," Bella pleaded her wide brown eyes boring into Esme with sincerity and with Jasper's and Bella's help Esme calmed down and smiled.

"All right but I do NOT want to see such a thing again. Understood?"

We all nodded not willing to speak.

Everyone went their separate ways and we went back to cooking and turned my iPod on to something more appropriate and this time instead of dancing we just sung along to the music.

The weeks went by getting closer to our little trip to go to the Melbourne Cup and Alice took us shopping for our clothes.

We drove all the way into Newcastle to go to this dress boutique that Alice found on one of her shopping trips. Alice drove with Jasper in her porch just as Emmet drive his jeep with Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme took the Mercedes and Bella and I took my Audi.

Alice picked out all of our clothes and it just seem as though we were there for days. Bella and I escaped for an hour or so because Bella got hungry so we went to a nearby cafe so she could have lunch. Then soon when every one else was finished with getting their clothes and such we went back home.

On the way home Bella fell asleep and so I turned the radio down so it was barely even heard. Time pasted as her heart beet and her breathing became steady and she fell into her dreams.

' Bella and I were in a meadow. It was perfectly round, the sun was shining above us as I held her in my arms but there was something else. It was small, pale white and bronze like hair on top of its head. At first I thought it was some type of doll for something so small and yet so perfect in every way but when I finale got a better look I found that it was a little girl she was pale but with a light blush that tinted her pale cheeks, her hair was in natural bronze ringlets that fell down the side of her beautiful face, but what truly amazed me was how much her facile features were exactly like both Bella and I. Half Bella and half me and she was just as perfect in every way; just like Bella.

Every thing was perfect; we were all in a beautiful meadow laying in-between the wild flowers that blossomed through the rich green grass. My arms encircled my beautiful mate and from my guess my beautiful daughter too. I was humming Bella ' s lullaby as Bella and I watched this small beautiful girl in our arms sleep so peacefully; our little angel. '

Ever since she had got more off her humanity back and realised that she just might have a chance at have a child she had been having dreams of having a child. Sometime it was a little boy and sometime it was a little girl just as this one was.

Sometime they were had brown eyes, sometimes they had green like the ones I had so many years ago when I had been human and sometime they had gold eyes like the vegetarian vampires did and sometime they would had blood red eyes yet the mood around the child would never changed it was always so very perfect. Her dreams were always so peaceful when she would dream of a child; of our child.

I could not stop the smile that stretched across my face at that thought. To really have a child that would be something extraordinary but my smile sank with the reality for I am a normal vampire I could not give Bella a child.

Just as Emmet, Jasper and Carlisle could not give their mates a child I doubt greatly that I could give Bella her dream and that broke my heart. Though she had the ability to conceive her body was still frozen in time and could not change or grow like that of a human mother and even if some how she conceived a child maybe from a human though I cringed at the thought; they would not be frozen in time but the child that would grow inside of her would die for it would most likely not survive long; most likely from malnutrition and to say the least the lake of space.

But as long as she could dream and I could share her dreams with her then in the world of her dreams we could be a family Bella, a child and me. In her dreams she could be a mother but unfortunately she would have to wake up and the real world is not so perfect.