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Scars Of A Torn heart

Summary:
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The Cullens are in Australia when a new influenza out brake strikes. Carlisle asked Edward to help him with a patient that has been through so much in her life; and will change Edward forever. The trauma of slavery affected Isabella greatly but can Edward be able to help her, not only in her battle with the influenza but also the battle that goes on in her mind? What will happen to the two lonely souls? Will they find happiness? Will they find Love? Or will they force each other apart because of their pasts? And will they finally find their Happy Ending? Edward/Bella


Notes:
its my first Fanfic. so be kind. i don't own any of the twilight charters SM owns all.


14. Chapter 14: Mistakes we make

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Chapter 14: Mistakes we make

Every thing seemed perfect. Life was better than perfect.

Christmas past in a happy blur. Having Bella allowed us to have snow. We were all pretty happy about that when Bella came out with a stylish winter coat on even though she did not need one to keep warm and skipped towards the door. She opened the door and outside just around the meadow was a thick layer of snow. We all went outside and Bella came up to me.

"I always wanted a white Christmas," she said, smiling. I laughed and smiled down at her.

We spent the morning playing in the snow like children, laughing and smiling as we throw snow at each other. We later exchanged presents they were nothing major seeing we have every thing we could ever want.

Days past and soon New Years Eve came and we had flown down to Sydney to watch the fireworks that light up the blackened sky over the Sydney harbor bridge.

Months passed since New Year's Eve and now it was March and we were all out hunting. It had been a while since our last hunt and Bella had not gone without hunting so long. Her eyes were the darkest of black that they had ever been instead of her usual deep brown colour.

We raced through the forest letting our beast take control. We were deep into the forest when we came across the scent of humans and flowing blood. I sensed the change in the direction of Bella's thoughts but not only hers but also Jasper's and the others too. I forgot all my principles, my values, my beast had one thing in mind: blood.

Carlisle kept most control calling out to us to remember who we are...I came back to my senses and so did Esme, Alice, Rose and Emmet but Jasper and Bella heard nun of it for they were still the newest of us. The rest of us followed them, they speed forward faster.

We soon found ourselves at a little camping area. There a lady that must have been slicing vegetables had sliced open her hand and delicious blood oozed out.

There were five humans in total: two adults and three children. Bella and Jasper sensed that there was competition between them and they turned on each other. Jasper had no chance at winning this battle.

Bella through Jasper away from her pray and then Emmet tried to converge on her but up from the ground rose a several stone forms some were of giant lions or panthers and others were of giant wolves. The humans screamed and the father looked over to his wife just as his young children ran over to him and hid behind his quivering form. He cried out to his beloved wife but she was frozen in place as she looked into the face of her impending death and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Bella pounced on the woman and they slammed down into the hard forest floor as the women let out a scream. Bella leaned down to her neck and bit down and sucked untill no blood remained.

Not even ten seconds had pasted untill she turn on the man with his children. She moved into a hunting crouch and sprang towards the four terrified humans.

We were all trying to fight of the massive stone creatures but there seemed to be no hope. Then I saw a gap and I broke through and ran towards Bella ready to hold her back but before I even got a chance to go anywhere near her, her head snapped in my direction and she let out a ferocious growl. She moved her hand in my direction as if pushing something away and then suddenly I was hit by her shield and thrown back into the dense bush land. Moments later I was back fighting of one of the stone creatures. Just before I had time to block the creatures attack the stone wolf bit down into my stone like shoulder. I managed to push the wolf back once again. I slammed my fist through its face but it did not good the stone formed the wolf's face once more and continued its attack.

As Bella went for the father he had picked up a thick branch ready to defend his children. As Bella came closer he swung the branch at her but she cached it easily in mid swing and tightened her grip on the wood and it smashed in to small splitters. She grabbed the man by his collar and then through him down to the grown and snapping his neck in while doing so.

I could hear the children's cries over the roars and growls of the stone beasts that I fort. The scared faces stained with tears that fell down their check at the sight of their parents' deaths. Once Bella was done with the father she moved to the three children; their cries ceased quickly as she snapped their necks. When they were all dead Bella got her senses back and the stone animals stopped fighting and became a part of the ground once more.

Bella fell to her knees and sobbed, "what have I done!" She looked down at her blood covered hands.

I ran over to her and wrapped my stone arms around her shacking body as she looked up to me; looking me in the eye with her blood red eyes that began to change back into her deep brown eyes. This time that I looked into her beautiful eyes I did not see any happiness. Her brown eyes were filled with over whelming pain, grief and so much self-loathing it broke my stone heart.

'What have I done...what have I done...what have I done...'she chanted in her mind.

"Shh my love. Everything is going to be ok..." I soothed to my beloved Bella as I rocked her back and forth.

"I'm a monster!" she cried in a broken whisper.

"We all make mistakes my love. We all slip. This is simply just the consequences sometime of the way we live."

"But they were innocent. They did not deserve to die. Let along die this way. I killed them all! I made three innocent children watch as I killed their parents... I killed them all! I'm a monster!" she wept. She would always remember the frightened faces of the children as they watch both their parents die.

As I comforted my beloved Bella the rest of the family set out and destroyed any evidences that remained of the accident and this unfortunate family. Then they set of home and Carlisle helped piece those of us that were hurt from the stone animals

Bella's emotions were running wild and the sky darkened as the rain begun to poor down. I held her for hours long after the others had cleared up after my Bella's accident.

Now no one would ever think that anyone was here in the first place. The family of five were now buried deep down within the earth so no one would find them anytime soon but that was a consequence of our slip ups. The friends and families of these five humans would suffer with the unknown fate of their friends and relatives.

But not only will they mourn the loss of these five humans that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time Bella to will grieve for the also as she hurts over the nameless faces from a different life, faces that fort and tried to kill her, faces that never succeeded.

When we got home every one was fixed up and even though some of them got hurt on one held anything against her for most of us had slipped at least once. The only one that did hold anything against her was herself.

It had been about a month since that hunting trip and Bella spent most of her time in her room. I would stay with her when she wanted the company but when I knew she wished to be alone I would leave her be.

She was not getting any better and she wished to be alone more often and she would hide her thoughts from me. I tried to not worry about it but being me I still worried.

The Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmet had gone south to hunt when I walked into Bella's room and she had just sat down on her bed and when she looked up to me there was something in her eyes but her mind was closed to me.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"I need to talk to you about something Edward."

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"Can we god for a run?"

"Of course my love"

We ran out of the house and into the bush land heading north. This run felt different from others that we had and for some reason I felt like something bad was going to happen and there was nothing that I could b=do to stop it and that good me on edge.

We stopped in a little clearing and Bella tuned to me and swallowed hard before she spoke, "I'm sorry Edward but I can't do this any more"

"What do you mean? We can get through this together. I'm always there for you."

"I killed them Edward!"

"We all slip Bella..."

"My slipping did not just kill one life but five! Five Edward! Three of them were just children! They did not get a chance to live their life Edward! I have to get away... please... please don't follow me."

"I can't do that."

"Please Edward, promise me that you won't follow me," she begged

"I can't live without you! You know that! Please!" I begged, pleading with her to stay.

"It might be you next. I could have killed Jasper when I fort him and I was only hours old. All my powers make me an even more of a threat to you. I could have killed you all and then it would have not just been five lives. It would have been even worse. If I get mad I could kill you. If I lose control again you and the others might not be so lucky next time. I could wipe out the whole family... I'm a monster Edward just let me go..."

"No I can't. Please," I begged.

She paused that lowered her head slightly then said, "Don't make me do this Edward; I can't keep lying to you. I can't do it anymore"

"I don't understand. What have you been lying to me about?"

"I don't love you Edward."

My mind just went blank; I felt my legs give out and I was on my knees looking up at my Bella. No not my Bella. She can't be mine and I knew it all along, "what? You don't...lo...love me?" my voice cracked at the end. My whole world seemed to be crumbling all around me and there was nothing I could do about it. I knew something bad was going to happen and this was it.

"I... I used to but it was never really love...the only love I can feel for you is a love towards a brother but that's all. I'm sorry I lied to you."

"Why did you not tell me earlier?"

"I did not want to hurt you. I thought that maybe I could grow to love you eventually but it's just not working. Please Edward just let me go."

"We can work through this Bella," my voice barely came out as an agonized whisper. Though I tried to hold back any of my emotions but in the end it leaked out anyway.

"No we can't Edward it would just hurt you more."

"I would be fine Bella... What about the others. They would miss you so much..." I was grasping at straws saying anything that would make her stay if just to see her even if she was just out of my reach.

"Please Edward just let me go," she said using the full force of her beautiful eyes and I caved bowing my head. She may not be mine but I will all ways be hers and she can do as she pleases with me.

"Ok," it came out with on emotion.

I was not looking at her face to see her reaction and she was not allowing me into her mind.

"Thank you," she whispered raising my head and placing a light kiss on my forehead. "Promise me something."

"Anything"

"Forget about me,"

How could I ever forget her?

"That is a promise I cannot keep."

"Good bye Edward."

Then she was gone. Everything just seemed to crumble around me. I rose and charged forward to just run in her direction but two great stone lions rose up from the ground blocking my path and then slamming me down, and pinned me to the ground. I just could not find the energy to fight them off for the thing that I would be fighting would be my beloved. For the thoughts and being behind these stone creatures was Bella. I can't fight Bella and I can't fight her against what she wants.

I lay there on the wet muddy ground as the rain continued to fall even harder. The water slid down my face like tears that I myself could never form. Moments or it could have been hours that past till the great lions finally moved they massive bodies slowly backing away but I court a look at their faces and their expressions mirrored my own; reflecting my own pain and then they disappeared into the ground once again. I was alone... so utterly alone. I would rather go throw the change a thousand times over if not to make this agony to cease.

I don't know how long it had been until I heard the calls of my family though I said nothing; I could not bear to hear all the pain that would shoaly be heard in my voice.

"Edward? Edward where are you?"

"Edward? Say something!"

The voices called but I could not be bothered to distinguish whose they were. It was just noise nothing that got through the agony.

"Carlisle! I found him!" The voice was close and I heard the thumbing of feet so that must have been Emmet. His arms lifted up my form but not that I cared much. He ran over to where Carlisle was.

"Edward? What happened? Where's Bella?" When Carlisle spoke her name I groaned then my body shook with sobs. "What do you mean she gone Edward?"

Was I saying that out loud? I guess I was. I felt Emmet put me down and another pair of arms; they were thinner, more feminine. It was Esme. She wrapped her arms around me like one would to comfort a crying child and trying to lure the child into the safety of slumber; to be away from the pain. How I long for such a thing that could never come.

The rain continued even if my body stopped shaking and still the rain flowed down my stone face like tears. And still my family tried to comfort me. I grew silent unmoving; hard as stone like the ground, like my un-beating heart. Sometime they had all moved to the house and now I was in my room. I started shaking again but no sound came from my mouth. There was too many memories in here, so many beautiful memories of her and I.

I tried to closes my eyes but then I saw her. Her hard eyes, her beautiful lips that moved with every torturing word, her hair that was dampened in the rain, her pale skin as water droplets streamed down her beautiful face, the curves of her body as she instinctively moved. I remembered every thing about her and I went over that moment over and over again. I found myself moving into her room and laying down on her bed just bathing in her magnificent scent.

As time went on I never left her room. I never hunted; I just did not find the will to; it was just too hard. I hear the others thoughts as they go around the house. Rosalie blames her for making me this way; though I don't blame her I could never blame her. Emmet like all the others don't understand way she left and they blame themselves, but the one that should be blamed is me. For I'm the one that brought her into this retched existence; for if I had not been so selfish then she would have been at peace but I had to take that away from her, that and her soul and so I forced her into a life of constant burning and thirst. Yes it is all my fault and I deserve this agony that I placed on myself. For this is my punishment for taking away her soul. Only I am at fault here, just me.

Alone...