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Forbidden to Remember

Summary:
Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; my life after Edward Cullen.Forbidden to remember; my life after the accident. Bella happily immerses herself in her hallucinations of Edward until her lack of concentration results in her riding off a cliff. Three weeks later she finds herself in hospital with amnesia. Bella can't remember who she is, who her friends are, why she looks so ill or who this Edward Cullen guy is. All she can recall is her life starting after her regaining consciousness in hospital three weeks after the accident. She knows Charlie is hiding something about her old life, but what she can't put her finger on... B/J and B/E. A story about destiny: Will a change of events affect Bella's final decision of who she should choose? 21.06.11 CHAPTER 12 "CONFLICT" IS UP!! I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY, I CAME ON TODAY TO SEE WHAT WAS TAKING SO LONG TO VALIDATE AND NOT ONLY HAD THE CHAPTER GONE THROUGH, IT WAS MISSING THE STORY TEXT -.-" I AM SO SORRY BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE ~ SparklyCullen


Notes:
Edward gets his wish; Bella living her life like he had never existed. But when he drops in to find Bella happy with Jacob, should he walk away or make his presence known? Will Bella ever regain her memory?


7. Emily

Rating 3/5   Word Count 2133   Review this Chapter

La Push Folklore Cold Ones... I moved the mouse and clicked the little tab that read “search”. I scanned the results and clicked on the first link and quickly scanned the page for the same words. My eyes flicked like I typewriter back and forth, the heavy thud of my heart replacing the light ding as I reached the end of a line.

It is said in the Quileute legends that descendants of the tribe have the ability to turn into wolves, enabling them to destroy any cold ones that threaten the tribe. My heart stuttered, my mind replaying the information.

...descendants of the tribe have the ability to turn into wolves, enabling them to destroy any cold ones.

....the ability to turn into wolves.

...turn into wolves.

My breathing hitched as I sat in frozen shock. Time dragged as I stared at the screen. Impossible.

I pushed the chair away from the desk and ran out of my room. I jumped the last four steps and stumbled, smacking my knee into the door frame as I threw myself into the kitchen. I swore loudly, grasping for the phone. I quickly dialled Jacob’s number and held the phone to my ear as it rang. Then it occurred to me that I should tell him face to face.

I hung up, just as a husky “hello-?” came out of the receiver. I winced, wondering if I should phone him back, but instead threw down the phone and grabbed my keys.

The stupid truck was so slow I was tempted to cut the engine and run the rest of the way, but I knew I would never be able to reach forty miles an hour on foot, so I sat impatiently, forcing my whining truck onward.

I didn’t pull down the drive. I cut the engine on the road and flung myself out of the door and pelted it towards his house. “Jacob!” I yelled, in between ragged breaths. “Jacob!

Jake came out of the front door, watching me in awe as I ran towards him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I sobbed as I tripped up into his warm arms. “What’s the problem?”

Jacob looked at me and laughing pulled me to his chest. “Let’s go down to the beach, I’ll explain there.”

We strolled down the beach hand in hand as Jacob told me everything. He couldn’t understand why it didn’t matter to me. I sat curled up on his knee on a large piece of driftwood. He stroked my hair gently, whispering into it, kissing my face.

“Do you...” I paused, thinking. “Does it upset you that I’ve changed from who I was before?”

He sighed. “Does it upset you that I’ve changed?”

“No,” I answered, cuddling up closer. His warm body protected me from the cold harsh wind blowing off the sea. “But you’re the still the same person, this was in you from the day you were born. But me... I don’t have anything from before.”

Jacob sat me up and turned my face so our foreheads rested against each other. “You haven’t changed much, Bella,” he promised, his warm breath blowing over my face until the wind snatched it away. “The only changes to you is that you don’t remember sitting around in the garage, you look healthier, you’re happy and now we’re together.”

“Together for the rest of our lives,” I smiled, kissing his lips briefly. “What do you mean happy? Wasn’t I all that jolly before?”

“I’ve never seen you this happy,” he chuckled warmly. “But I’ve never been this happy in my life either. No, before the accident you weren’t....”

“I wasn’t...?” I pressed.

Jake’s black eyes stared into mine before looking away unhappily. “You weren’t all that well... the doctor said you were catatonic...”

Catatonic?” I repeated in disbelief. “Why?”

“You... you were just in a bad state, that’s all...” Jake cleared his throat. “You had just come out of a bad relationship, but after a few days with me you seemed to get better.” He grinned wolfishly, and started covering my face with kisses. “I never thought you’d be so easy to get, Bella Swan. I thought you still needed fixing up, but the accident seems to have given me a clean slate to work with. I love you no matter how much you remember.”

“I love you too, Jacob.” Our faces closed the gap gradually. His warm lips moved under mine and I hungrily pressed myself closer. His hands traced lines up and down my back until the heat made it impossible to be tender. His hands held me securely to him as I pressed him back so his back was up against the bleached log.

“Bella,” Jake groaned into my mouth.

“Jacob,” I moaned before going back for more.

“Bella, I’m sorry for telling you I didn’t care anymore.”

“Jake, I don’t mind, you did it to protect me.”

“But we shouldn’t be so close.”

I laughed into his mouth. “It’s a bit late for that.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Bella.” The words stirred something inside me like I’d heard them before, a déjà vu.

“You won’t,” I promised him but he was pushing me away, gravely taking my hand and leading me away. “Jake? Where are we going?”

“To see Emily.”

“Who’s Emily?” I tried to pull my hand free but Jake didn’t respond.

“She’s Sam’s fiancé. I’ll explain when we get there.”

Jacob pulled me out of my truck and inside a small house. “Don’t stare,” he whispered to me as we entered the kitchen where a beautiful woman was baking muffins. She looked up at the sound of our entry and smiled. I took in a short breath of surprise. The right side of her face was scarred. Long red puckered lines drew it into a permanent grimace.

“Who’s this?” she asked playfully, turning away to check the food providing me with a moment to compose my expression.

“Bella Swan,” stated Jake, smiling as my name escaped his lips. “Bella this is Emily, Sam’s fiancé.”

“The girl from the accident?” She smiled at me. “Sam told me about it. How are you?”

“Much better,” I admitted as Jake squeezed my hand.

Emily glanced down at our entwined hands and beamed. “Maybe you should become a doctor, Jacob. Looks like you’re working a miracle there.”

Jake chuckled and I smiled weakly, confused by her comment. “Sam’s just left to take care of the vampire. Apparently she’s closing in on Forks.”

“Oh, right, thanks Emily, I’ll drop Bella off home and I’ll go catch up with him,” said Jacob turning to leave at the same time I repeated, “Vampire?”

Emily glanced at me and then to Jake. “She doesn’t know?”

“She only found out about the wolf thing a couple of hours ago,” Jake admitted and to me he muttered, “I’ll explain on the way. Catch you later, Emily.”

“Bye Jake, bye Bella.”

“Oh, bye,” I called as Jake left with me in toe.

Jacob climbed into the driver’s seat and draped his arm over my shoulders as we drove back to Forks. “What happened to Emily?” I asked curiously. Jake didn’t take his eyes off the road as he breathed in deeply.

“Sam lost it for a split second and was standing too close,” he murmured in a monotone. “That’s something that could happen to you, Bella. If I lost my temper for...” His voice trailed off as he shuddered and pulled me closer.

“Then that’s a risk I’m willing to take. We’re in it together, Jake. I’m not going to let you go alone.” He kissed me lightly on the forehead.

“And I’m going to be there for you too, Bells. Every day.”

I sighed elated before another memory resurfaced. “What was that about vampires?”

“Oh, the red head.” Jake sighed tiredly. “She keeps coming back and too and we have no idea what she’s after. The pack keeps trying to take her down but she’s nifty.”

“She’s a vampire?” I blinked. “Really? Vampires exist?”

Jacob stiffened. “Yeah,” he admitted evasively. “We almost got a guy with dreadlocks, but we’re not allowed to attack on... um, outside our land.”

“Oh, that sucks,” I muttered. “Why?”

“Oh some treaty that goes back years,” Jake was shaking his head dismissively. “We’re here.”

“Oh,” I looked out the window and we were indeed parked outside Charlie’s house. As I started to climb out, I assured him he could take the truck if he needed it, but he snorted.

“I’ll run, thanks.”

“Oh, yeah, wolf thing,” I smiled at my mistake as I leaned in for a peck goodbye. “Stay safe, won’t you?”

“Bella, I’ll be fine,” he promised, kissing me slightly more passionately than the scenario required. “Thank you for... understanding. This makes it so much easier.”

“I’m glad.” I smiled. “You can always tell me anything, Jake. Call when you get home.”

“I will.”

I was automatically accepted into the gang of adolescent werewolves and their imprints. Jake had explained what imprints were and I automatically presumed that was what Jake had for me. Why else would he be so relaxed at the mention of imprinting?

I spent most of my time with Emily, helping her clear up after the brothers had eaten their fill or cooking. It was fun for the most part. It was a little awkward when Sam returned home, but I know if it was Jake, we would have been the same so I ignored it and carried on.

I was never made to feel like an outsider but occasionally I’d walk in on a conversation about me where everyone would go quiet. I was sure Paul and Jared were referring to me as “the Vampire Girl” behind my back, but I couldn’t really blame them. I was the palest of the group being the only person who didn’t live on the reservation and my hands were often cold, but I wasn’t pretty or did I sparkle in the sunlight. I had laughed with the pack about that. It was ridiculous that there were so called “men” out there who glittered.

The guys had managed to track down the guy with the dreadlocks and destroy him, but they were no closer to the red headed female who continued to flit back and too to Washington. I was having nightmares about beautiful women tearing Jake apart but there was one that continued to turn up. Something in my mind’s eye had made a ghost of a woman. Her long red hair blew in the wind menacingly, her white heart shaped face and her burgundy eyes permanently fixed on mine. Somewhere inside I knew her name, but I couldn’t break through the barricade to learn it.

The worst thing about her was how she twisted into a man with bronze hair. His butterscotch eyes were cold and distant like topaz. He would stare broodingly before turning and walking away into the forest. Fortunately, I had forgotten about him by the time I had woken up because of my longing to see Jacob. It was only a character my mind had made to categorize something. He was unimportant because he didn’t exist – he was simply a figment of my imagination.

Chapter 7.5 - Failure

I couldn’t face the emptiness any longer. Life had no call for me. I needed to be with her like humans needed air, water and nourishment. My fists clenched as I tried to convince myself to remain away, but I was a heroin addict knowing exactly where to find my exact, personalised brand of heroin. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep away from her much longer, so why postpone the inevitable?

You’ll kill her, whispered my conscience weakly. I was weakening the longer I held myself away from her, and I was about to collapse back to my old life like a human who had starved himself.

She’s going to die one day anyway, I reasoned with myself cringing. Might as well make the most of what time we have left.

I hesitated. If she was happy without me, I would walk away, I promised myself, feeling my heart shred. If she no longer needed me like I needed her, then I would turn around and come back and wait out the rest of my existence.

But if she was unhappy... if she was unhappy I would clearly have to beg, plead for forgiveness as no man blasphemes against angels and lives like nothing had happened. I could imagine seeing her again, holding her warm body against my cold torso as her tantalizing scent swimming around my head and in that second my decision was made. I was going to return to Forks. I was going to return to Isabella Swan.