Forbidden to Remember
Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; my life after Edward Cullen.Forbidden to remember; my life after the accident. Bella happily immerses herself in her hallucinations of Edward until her lack of concentration results in her riding off a cliff. Three weeks later she finds herself in hospital with amnesia. Bella can't remember who she is, who her friends are, why she looks so ill or who this Edward Cullen guy is. All she can recall is her life starting after her regaining consciousness in hospital three weeks after the accident. She knows Charlie is hiding something about her old life, but what she can't put her finger on... B/J and B/E. A story about destiny: Will a change of events affect Bella's final decision of who she should choose? 21.06.11 CHAPTER 12 "CONFLICT" IS UP!! I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY, I CAME ON TODAY TO SEE WHAT WAS TAKING SO LONG TO VALIDATE AND NOT ONLY HAD THE CHAPTER GONE THROUGH, IT WAS MISSING THE STORY TEXT -.-" I AM SO SORRY BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE ~ SparklyCullen
Edward gets his wish; Bella living her life like he had never existed. But when he drops in to find Bella happy with Jacob, should he walk away or make his presence known? Will Bella ever regain her memory?
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I awoke one morning feeling weird. I had goose bumps all over my body, although not due to the nasty weather outside. Subconsciously I had a sense of foreboding, like that you get when you’ve packed your bag for school but somehow you know that once you get there you’ll realise what’s missing. That’s how I felt. Right now I couldn’t tell you what I’d forgotten, but I knew one way or another it would come to light when it was too late to change it.
I dressed in jeans and a white vest top before putting a thin jumper I had bought with Angela a couple of weeks ago in Seattle over the top. As I had told Jake when I showed him my purchase, I chose it specifically because of the russet brown wolf knitted on the front. I usually wore it to La Push because it could efficiently keep me warm if it was a cold day, but wasn’t laborious to carry around if it was one of those seldom nice days.
I drove to school without any unusual activity, but as I parked my truck I noticed a red convertible opposite my space. Surprisingly it wasn’t the superiority of the vehicle amongst the usual lot that attracted my attention, but the girl climbing out. Her short spiky hair was black and roughly chopped but I had never seen anyone as beautiful as her. Her clothes were clearly designer and her skin was paler than my own. As I tried not to stare, she turned her amber eyes onto me and smiled a dazzling grin.
I blinked and quickly turned away, embarrassed at being caught. I walked up to the school building with more haste than usual, as the light breeze blew the drizzle into my hair but a few seconds up the road the girl was dancing beside me.
“Hi, remember me?” she beamed at me like I was her best friend, stepping in front of me and forcing me to stop.
I blushed, embarrassed. I thought I knew everyone now. “I’m really sorry, but I don’t,” I apologized, shaking my head. “Who are you?” The girl stared me in the eyes, ignoring my question as she analyzed me, making me feel uncomfortable. I heard the bell ring in the distance.
“I’ve got to go, I’m sorry. I’m already late for English.” I stepped around her repentantly and walked away, peeking back to see if she was following. She was stood, frowning at something before climbing into her car and driving away.
When I came out of school, she was there again, waiting by my truck.
“Hi,” she beamed as I walked up to her. She embraced me tightly like I was her sister before holding me by the arms and looking me up and down. “Sorry I ran off before.”
“It’s alright.” I smiled weakly. “So who are you again?”
“I’m Alice. We used to be like sisters.” She smiled brightly as my stomach twisted with guilt.
“I am so, so sorry but I was in an accident a few months back and-”
“What kind of accident?”
“A motorbike accident,” I admitted. “It wiped my memory.”
Her expression was one of genuine worry. “Really?”
“Yeah, so I don’t remember anything from before the accident and sometimes people know me from before and I don’t recognize them...”
She laughed. “It’s fine!” she assured me. “I didn’t expect you to remember me, it’s been a while. What are you doing after school? Maybe we could catch up?”
I flushed as I apologised again. “I can’t today, I’m meeting up with my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” repeated Alice, her eyebrows rising like it was completely unexpected. I felt a little hurt. I knew I wasn’t pretty but I wasn’t completely revolting.
“Who is he? Maybe I know him?”
“Jacob Black. I don’t think you’d know-” I paused. Alice had stopped, frowning thoughtfully.
“Where does he live?”
“La Push. He goes to school on the reservation. Do you know him?”
Alice’s face was glazed over. “Alice?”
She sucked in a lungful of air and breathed it out, her eyes wide. “I’m sorry, Bella. Do you have a dog?”
“Oh right. But you hang around with Jacob a lot?”
“Yes, but he doesn’t have a dog either-”
“I’m sorry Bella, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you on Thursday after school. Bye!” I watched her dance off with an open mouth before climbing bewildered into my truck, pushing Alice to the back of my mind.
“Edward!” I growled at the intrusion. Was it impossible to mourn my loss in peace? “Edward!”
“What is it, Alice?” I snarled, glaring at her head and shoulders that hovered in the open trap door, not hiding my starved onyx eyes.
“No!” I roared, pushing her mind away from mine with desperate strength. “Please, Alice, do not punish me any more than I have been. It is too late. Do not speak her name unless you wish to drive your brother to insanity!”
Alice shook her head, hopping into the loft and dancing towards me. I pulled myself out of her reach, crawling further into the shadows. “Oh, give it up, Edward. She needs you!”
“I promised her I wouldn’t interfere with her life again-” I began, but Alice cut across me.
“That was before the accident.”
I stiffened. “Accident?” Alice nodded. “What accident? Is she hurt? I saw her in a wheelchair but I thought that would be due to her clumsiness. What happened, Alice? Is she alright?”
“She’s fine, Edward,” Alice assured me. “She was in a motorbike accident. I didn’t hear much about it because she’s lost her memory-”
“Lost her memory?” I repeated. Immediately my mind surged into life, planning how to make her remember me until my heart reminded me of it’s vow. “That’s... that’s the way it’s got to be, Alice. She’s moved on all the same.”
“But she doesn’t know you exist!” Alice argued before I cut her off.
“Which is why it’s better this way,” I forced myself to admit. “I promised her it would be like I never existed – and without her memory of me, that is honestly the case.”
“No. There is nothing you can say to make me change my mind, Alice, nothing!”
She paused, trying to filter her thoughts into my mind, but I held my barrier. After a seconds Alice changed her strategy. “Are you sure about that?”
“Alice!” I warned her, but she ignored me.
“Even if I told you she’s gotten herself tangled up with a werewolf?”
Her claim made my mind halt, allowing her memories to seep into it. A horrible wet dog stench saturated my brain as Bella’s voice spoke the words. “Jacob Black.”
I shuddered. “Stop being stupid, Alice.”
“I’m being stupid am I?” Alice bristled. “I think you’ll find it’s you who’s being ridiculous, Edward! Bella is dating Ephraim Black’s grandson!”
“But the gene has died out, Alice!” I grinded my teeth. “Not even Bella’s luck could revive a pack of mutts from extinction.”
“You want to bet?” Alice sighed. “Forks has been hit with a list of missing hikers and wolf sightings-”
“You’re forgetting the wolves protect rather than kill.”
“Wolf sightings, Edward! Not normal size wolves but giant wolves as tall as a man! Bella is dating a werewolf! She’s going to get herself killed!”
I sighed. “If she’s happy-”
Alice pulled me out of the shadows and pinned me down. “Go back to Forks. You’re due to start high school on Wednesday and I’ll see if you don’t go. Emmett and Jasper will be waiting nearby in case you spontaneously bottle it.”
“Alice,” I groaned wanting simply to curl up and wait for Bella’s life to expire so I could follow suit but Emmett and Jasper were appearing from the hole in the floor and lifting me off the ground.
“Feed!” Alice insisted as my brothers carried me away. “You need to be ready for school!”
I tried to argue but Emmett warned me cheerfully to shut up or face being fed with a bottle. Jasper issued waves of calm agreeableness in my direction and they soon took effect. “I hate you all,” I muttered tranquilly as we descended into the house. Jasper muttered to Emmett that perhaps I could be allowed to walk of my own freewill but Emmett refused.
We passed Esme who watched us go with a solemn expression. “Please make sure he drinks enough,” she murmured to my brothers who both nodded seriously. I pushed away her thoughts feebly, but that didn’t prevent my knowledge of her unhappiness and worry for me.
Carlisle opened the door for us. “Edward,” he murmured. “Forgive us, but it’s for the best.” I simply sighed in the artificial tranquillity, too idle to counter his argument.
“Where are we hunting tonight, Jazz?” asked Emmett cheerfully as Jasper lowered my feet to the ground and we began to run.
“I was thinking mountain lion,” he replied thoughtfully. You didn’t need the ability of mind reading to know the reason behind his choice.
Come on, Edward, cheer up! came Emmett’s thoughts. You get to see her again in a matter of hours! Man, I bet the moment she sees you she’ll fall right back into your arms.
“I’m not going to go through with this-” I started before Jasper interrupted me.
“Edward,” Jasper spoke quietly as he drowned out more of my anguish. “What did you see when you visited Forks? Alice told me everything she saw but no one knows what happened between you and Bella...”
“Nothing happened between myself and Bella,” I answered as an irresistible, but predictable urge to explain myself overcame me. “I gathered there was something wrong...”
“Why?” Emmett’s thoughts were fully focused on me which encouraged me to continue, for Emmett was rarely fully focused on anything that wasn’t associated with showing off his incredible strength or Rosalie.
I sighed. “She came to school and pulled a wheelchair out of her truck bed. I presumed it had been something to do with her incapability to walk over a flat surface without stumbling-”
“Who knew she had it in her to ride motorbikes?” chuckled Emmett fondly.
“-Then that Newton came over insisting he help her. He wanted to invite Bella on a date because apparently his last attempt failed due to another man who Bella invited. Perhaps I should’ve seen it there but I was hopeful his suspicions were simply testosterone induced suspicion.
“She climbed the steps stiffly and re-seated herself in the chair. We all know how Bella is about unnecessary attention. I wanted to help her myself but I left for her to become close to a Mike Newton and how was she supposed to do that if I interceded? She seemed pleasantly content with the exception of her obvious discomfort of being pushed about in a wheelchair.”
Emmett and Jasper were absorbed. They both missed her and still considered her as their sister even though I had distanced myself from her.
“There was nothing unusual as the day went on. She was sitting with the usual crowd, still blissfully unaware of her male admirers’ intentions but ten minutes before school finished, the man from the cinema strutted to her truck and leaned against it casually as though he did it every day.” Only as Jasper eased my stress did I realise I had been gritting my teeth. I breathed an unnecessary breath out and continued with a pleasant disconnection to my memories.
“She came out and they started teasing each other before she pecked him playfully on the lips and climbed into her truck.”
Emmett groaned. “Ouch!” he observed as Jasper winced at the emotions that cursed through me.
“I followed them to see where they were going and she took him to... our meadow... and I guess she must have shown him before the accident because he seemed to be showing it to her.” I shook my head. “I couldn’t watch. They disappeared into the grass and you can’t relate to how torn I felt at that moment. I wanted to see her, to relish every second of seeing her so close but at the same time I couldn’t do so without wanting to dive down and rip the man to pieces for holding her so inappropriately. He must be at least six years her senior!”
Emmett scoffed and Jasper and I glanced at him, both torn with the pain and confusion. “Sorry,” he chuckled. “But at ninety years her senior, are you really going to hold that as a reason why Bella shouldn’t be with her rebound guy?”
“Rebound guy?” I repeated.
“Yeah, you know the guy after the serious relationship to make her feel better about herself?” I tried not to hope, but it was like my restraint against it was a sieve: hope flooded me regardless. “That’ll be what he is.”
I nodded to myself, hardly daring to consider what he was saying, whilst my heart swelled with the joy. “’You hungry?” asked Jasper nodding towards the line of trees we were about to enter. I nodded and we slunk into our positions and began our hunt.
At school on Wednesday morning I parked my truck in the last available space – next to a silver Volvo. I frowned. Nobody living in Forks had the money for such a new car. Perhaps it was someone’s birthday and they’d been treated by their grandparents. I shrugged it off after noticing the car was attracting a lot of bewildered attention from other students.
I walked to English without noticing any unknown faces. As I entered the classroom, I tripped on the step, and as the ground swept up to meet me, a sense of Déjà Vu surfaced. I braced myself for the same scale of pain I experienced on my first day. I waited, eyes screwed up expectantly. It was a few seconds before I noticed my face wasn’t resting against the damp, weathered carpet. I opened my eyes, as I felt a hard, cold arm under my stomach pull me away from the floor and stand me on my feet. I turned around to see who had caught me and found the most beautiful face right in front of mine.
Too close. I could see every detail, how his skin almost sparkled with its clearness. I could almost taste his shallow breath on my tongue.
Not close enough. I couldn’t see each individual sparkle. I couldn’t taste the luxuriously seductive scent that was so close to me.
My face flushed as I realized what I was thinking. I loved Jacob. This boy was not my boyfriend.
“Are you alright, Bella?” asked the boy, his amazing topaz eyes frowning worriedly, his words almost holding a double meaning.
“I’m fine,” I breathed. His hands hesitated so I forced myself to move. “Thanks for catching me. I did the same thing on my first day and ended up in the nurse’s office until lunch.”
“What happened?” The boy’s face flickered with pain before it smoothed out into indifference.
“Just a nose bleed,” I shrugged. “I’m really clumsy.”
He smiled crookedly. “I’m sure you are: that would have been one spectacular fall.”
I grinned bashfully. “Yeah, thanks again.”
“Edward,” he nodded.
“Bella,” I responded.
“Well, Bella, could I have the pleasure to sit by you?” His question sounded unusual. As I tried to clear my mind which was fogging up despite having a boyfriend, I realised it was because hidden in his words was the option to say no.
“Sure,” I shrugged, trying not to get flustered. Edward’s pale face warmed slightly as my own began to burn.
“Thank you,” he smiled crookedly. My heart palpitated as my eyes focused on his perfect lips. Fortunately, my feet took over and led me unsteadily over to my seat.