Caius Wants Fangs
Caius wants fangs. . .Pure-n-simple.
Please don't kill me, but. . .Inowunderstandthatvampiresshouldhavefangsanditissillyforthemnotto.
1. Chapter 1
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I am not a jealous person - that's Aro's job - but I discovered one thing I envy. A lot.
It was a dark Saturday night and I was couped up in my chamber. The flat screen TV was showing Interview with the Vampire. I payed close attention to the details, such as. . . . .FANGS! Of all the things to deprive a vampire of. . . .I stood up and flitted - yes, flitted - away to Aro's tennis court.
Naturally, the majority of the guard was present to watch him compete against Chelsea. Chelsea, in my opinion, was a less glamourous version of Heidi. Except she had auburn hair. Both she and Aro were dressed in costumes fit for tennis.
"WOOH! TAKE THAT, OLD DUDE!" Chelsea yelled as she gained the upper hand. I sighed. Aro was never very good, and this was no exception. He absolutley seethed when he was jealous. Especially when her was jealous of someone he held dear. I ghosted over to the court and grabbed him by the ear. A common mistake would be that vampires are heavy. Again, common mistake. He struggled as I pulled him down the stairs, but eventually we reahed an empty hallway.
"What the heck?! I was just about to give Chelsea what-for!" He muttered a while.
"You've studied vampires a while, where are our fangs?!" I probably could have laughed at his expression.
"Fangs, you know. To pierce the flesh of our victims? Bity, bity fangs?" I made a hissing-biting action for emphasis.
"Oh, har har har! Aren't you a laugh today? Well, in case you've failed to notice, a finely cultured vampire such as our kind, do not possess fangs. I how I wish we did though. It sends a shiver of delight through me, the very thought!" Aro wandered away into the shadows, muttering of 'instilling well-instinctive fear into the hearts of the young and innocent'.
I groaned and made my way to a nearby restroom. This particular one was walled up with mirrors. It was Heidi's design, I'm sure. I walked to the nearest mirror and inspected my mouth.
My teeth did not appear even slightly sharp, only pearly white. Curse our design! I then noticed something of by the corner of the sink. A steel nail file. . . . .!
"THATS THE WAY I FILE MY TEETH, FILE MY TEETH, FILE MY TEETH! THATS THE WAY I FILE MY TEETH, HA HA HA HAAA!" I sang as I filed. Only, it sounded more like,
'AH AH AY AH AHG AH EEAF, AH AH EAAF, AH AH EEAF! AH AH AY AHG AH EEAF, AH AH AH AHHHA!'.
I admit, after further reflection on my behavior, I am ashamed. Nonetheless, I went to the banquet hall to showcase my new fangs.
Mass panic. Really?! And what gave Aro the right to call it "unnatural"?! His highly feminine face was unnatural. Unfortunatley, the wives saw it fit to put me in "solitary confinment with not a single itch from Anne Rice's people". Secretly, though, I have Lestat's cell number. . . . .