Summer after graduation, Victoria is no longer a problem. And Bella decides to postpone the wedding until next summer. No worries, right?
3. Chapter 3
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I walked slow to the beach trying not to draw any attention to my self taking deep breaths along the way calming my nerves. Sitting on a log I closed my eyes trying to make since of just happened.
About that time Emily walked up to me placing on hand on my shoulder."Wanna talk?" she asked sincerely. "Jacob called Sam and told him what happen, he thought you might need someone to talk to as well. I promise I won't say anything if you don't want me to." She sat down next to me. "So you wanna start for the beginning".
No pack secrets right! "Sure" I hesitated. "Well as you know I have been visiting Jacob every other weekend. Well after last weekend I found myself attracted to Jacob...Physically. And I really did not noticed it at first I just found myself think about Jake more even daydreamed about him. Then when I saw him today I felt like a giggly school girl with her first crush. I was fine keep myself in check trying to not let Jake know about my feelings but then I just could not help myself. During the movie the longer we sat the more...well...lets just say ..."
Emily interrupted "I get the picture Bella, did Jacob responded?"
I swallowed hard before speaking " Yes he did , he told not to fight it and that he was a to willing. Then when I tried to play if off he he told he was blind that he saw the way I look at him and then reminded me that he could hear my racing heart and smell..well...me. Emily nodded before she spoke again" Yes and I find that all to convenient for me" She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled." Look you can't ignore your feelings for Jake, either give in to them or avoid putting yourself in those situations. Personally and I think the rest of the pack agree with me on this one, we would rather you be with Jake then Cullen. We would probably throw a party if that was to happen. But you made your decision and we are supporting you because you are Jake's friend."
Emily hugged me and she stood up to leave." Emily can I ask you something personal?" She sat back down "Sure what do you wanna know?" I blushed as I began to ask my question" Is it any different with Sam being a werewolf?" Emily snickered and answered" Honestly I don't know Sam is my one and only. So are you gonna come to the bonfire tonight?"
I thought for a second, Charlie has not really seen much of me lately. "Um..actually I think I am gonna head home early tonight spend some time with Charlie." She stood up and turned to head back up the beach "Okay then well see you tomorrow".
I debated where I wanted to say bye to Jake in person or not, after taking my phone out of my pocket and staring at it of like 5 minutes I decide to just go up to the house I had to wait for Charlie anyway. When I got there Jake was outside sitting on the porch before he could speak I said.. " Jacob I think it would be best if I head back home with Charlie tonight spend some time with him and give us both time to think about what happened today" Jacob looked like a lost puppy. About that time he nodded in agreement Charlie and Billy appeared with a hand full of fish.
I looked up at Charlie and smiled."Hey dad why don't we head on back to the house and I can cook these up for you." I took his arm and lead him toward the cruiser. He waved back a Billy "Alright well see you later Billy."
There was not much said on the way home just a comment or two about the weather and how great their catch was. Charlie headed to the living room once we got home and I started on supper.
During supper Charlie had this look like he really want to say something to me but did not know how.
"Dad out with it already before you stare a whole through me"
"Bella, I...um...well I is just I am glad to see you happy again"
"Happy? Dad I have been happy for a while now"
"No, No that's not what I meant. I mean happy like your were when I started hanging out with Jacob before Edwin came back"
"Edward, dad his name is Edward"
"Well that's not the point here, I am guess I am trying to say that I hope you a not making a mistake."
"Mistake?" I ask in hesitation
"Yes a mistake on marry Edward if your true heart is with Jacob."
"DAD!, What makes you think that, I love Edward and I want to be with him remember dad I had to choice and I chose." What was he getting at ,what is he seeing that I am not?Did Jacob say something to him, did Billy?
"I don't doubt that you love Edward but Bella when you leave to go see Jacob and when you get back even you are glowing and I swear I see that giggly teenage girl that you are. But with Edward I don't see it not even a trace of it. You act like you are obligated to follow through with this marriage. But let me tell you this no one will be disappointed if you don't marry Edward. Alice won't either if she is a true friend even is she is his sister. And I certainly won't be, I just want you to be happy Bella. Personally I don't see you happy not with Edward."
"Are you done?" I asked. I needed to get to my room before I lost it. He nodded and I bolted for my room. Leaving the dishes on the table.
I had not even reached the top of the stairs before I felt the tears pour and they did not stop. I buried my face in my pillow trying to drown the sound of my crying. Obviously it did not work Charlie came up and taped on my door. "Bella honey I did not mean to make you cry, is there something going on, is there something you need to talk about it?"
I sat up on my bed and choked out " No dad I am fine, that is just a sensitive subject for me and all. Having to chose, you don't realize how hard it was for me." I hard him go back down stairs. I decided to call Renee I need a unbiased person to unload on. I told almost everything about how when Edward left how I turned to Jacob for support after Edward left last September . About how Jacob and Edward fought over me when he came back. Then about how I felt now and how I now wondered if things would have been different between Jacob and me if Edward had never came back. We talked for hours, Renee suggested that I find out if my feelings toward Jacob were only physical or if there was something really there. And I was not sure on how exactly.
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