Renesmee Cullen has stuck out her entire life. She doesn't really fit it in with any of her friends or family - vampire, werewolf, or human. Will she always stick out? Her best friend Jacob Black tries to help her feel better about her differences, but he can only do so much. Their feelings for each other are changing, but Jacob has made a pact with Edward and Bella not to tell Renesmee that she is his imprint until she is seven years old and full grown. When nature takes it's course and things start to change, Renesmee needs to get out of Forks. Will she get away from her problems, or just create more? Meanwhile, Jake tries his hand at college - will he be able to get a good job and provide a good life for his imprint? He doesn't want the Cullens to look down on him forever. Renesmee encounters some new vampires along the way, and for the first time in her life, she is presented with one new thing: a choice. She will be faced with more dilemmas than she ever thought possible as her need for life experiences weighs against her need for love - but who will she give her love to? Will her heart take her back to Jacob, or will fate take her in another direction? Enjoy my fic about life for the Cullens, the wolf pack, and several other of their friends after the end of Breaking Dawn! A big Thank You to my beta, Rain-It-Shall for her continued awesome work and support! **Stephanie Meyer owns all, I just elaborated my view!** ATTENTIONThe next chapter of this story is in the que and will hopefully be updated soon. I didn't give up on this story! Please check back! Hopefully it will get validated soon : ( Sorry guys!
5. Chapter 5 - I'm caught up in you
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The next night, Bella raised her eyebrow slightly as she watched her obviously frustrated husband try to concentrate on his reading. The two of them were sitting in their cozy living room, tangled together on one of the small, comfortable couches. In replace of sleeping, they had adopted several calming, quiet night time activities to spend their evenings in an effort to not disturb their sleeping daughter in the next room.
As Edward had mentioned when Renesmee was born, it was highly ironic that she slept so well when she had two parents who needed no sleep at all. Their daughter had been a heavy sleeper most nights, but tonight that was not the case.
Edward soundlessly moved his eyes up, again looking in the direction of Renesmee's room.
"She having trouble sleeping?" Bella asked, not lifting her eyes off the pages of her book.
Edward sighed softly to himself, nodding. His eyes lifted in the direction of their daughter's bedroom again as if on cue as the two of them listened to her toss and turn.
"Quite a bit of trouble, actually."
"Is she falling asleep enough to dream a little?" Bella asked. She caught Edward's gaze and lowered her shield a little to speak to him via her mind.
I know neither one of us want to, but we could go in there and see if she's dreaming….it might help us help her, Bella thought. Edward gave her a sideways smile; he always relished in the opportunity to hear his wife's mind, even if it was just a little word.
"No…she's still awake, and thinking," he said quietly.
"I wonder what's wrong. She sounded perplexed about something the other day when we got back. Something bigger must be bothering her."
"Yes...tonight our baby doesn't seem to want to dream," he replied, closing his book and setting it softly beside him.
"She usually dreams so well," Bella said, putting hers down as well.
"Yes, well, tonight she is trying to decipher several different scenarios that occurred today on the beach with Jacob...Although I'm having trouble picking out what did happen and what she wanted to have happen."
Bella's face showed little surprise.
"Just try to block her out and let her sort it out on her own..." Bella had always felt sorry for their teenage daughter and the fact that her own father could hear her every thought, every secret, and every wish. Although she loved her husband dearly, there were countless times in their relationship where she had been glad that he could hear nothing of her personal thoughts.
"I just hate to see my little girl in there torturing herself about that mangy-"
"Just try not to listen. Concentrate on something else...let's go for a run," Bella cut him off. She was almost positive that Renesmee wasn't listening to them talk, but she didn't want to take that chance.
"Why are you so against me on this? I want to listen in so that I can help – I need to know what to say to make her feel better."
"Edward, imagine if Charlie had been able to hear my every thought when you and I met and first started dating. How fair would that have been? He surely would have killed you!"
"This is much, much different Bella, those two are not dating. They clearly do not still share a brother/sister relationship, but they are not dating..."
"Sometimes I'm not convinced," she retorted. He looked up at her, his golden eyes full of shock. Her face softened as she gave him a pointed look, and he relaxed.
"Fair or not, this isn't a normal situation - I have no prior experience with were wolves and especially not ones that have imprinted on my only daughter!" he hissed.
"And Charlie's daughter dating a hundred-year-old vampire is normal?"
"Bella, this is different, I-"
"Edward," Bella replied, her voice soft but stern. "We agreed with him that we would let this happen naturally."
"It's too soon."
"You don't hear their thoughts, love," he replied softly.
"What have you heard?"
"Their feelings for each other are definitely changing. I can see that much at least."
"Yes, but are you sure you aren't just overreacting? She's a teenager – sort of -, and so is he. This could just be hormones."
"Bella, love, I have spent over a hundred years listening in on people's thoughts, and unfortunately, seventy-five percent of that was spent sitting in high schools across the country listening to the minds of teenagers. I know what I heard."
"But how can you be sure that his feelings are changing? He wouldn't do anything without telling us first."
"Sometimes I'm not so sure."
"What are you talking about?"
"Her feelings are changing for him, and vice versa. I've had enough proof of that to know better," Edward whispered, adding a few logs to the fire. Bella stared straight ahead over her into the bee-hive shaped wood-burner and pursed her lips as she thought. Their small, yet cozy cabin seemed to creak and groan in protest to both the late summer storm outside and the emotional storm that was brewing in Renesmee's mind.
"Earlier she was very concerned about his feelings for her. Something must have happened while we were gone," Bella added matter-of-factly.
She tried her best to understand that her husband was only listening in on her daughter to help her and to figure out how to comfort her, but she couldn't help but place herself in Renesmee's shoes when it came to the use of Edward's gift. She would have been nothing short of horrified if Charlie was able to read her thoughts.
"Last night she was upset with me in the woods because she wanted me to leave so he could kiss her!"
Immediately, Bella tensed. Her perfect vampire recollection immediately brought images of her rapidly growing baby girl to flash in front of her eyes. She instantly felt the familiar prick and burning of what should have been tears. She felt herself remembering more and more memories from her little girl's life, and her emotions grew more and more somber at the thought. Suddenly, it felt like a giant weight was crushing her chest as she pictured holding her little girl in her arms on what felt like just yesterday.
Choking back the tears she knew wouldn't ever come, she wiped her eyes out of habit and looked down at her lap. Images of holding her new little baby and fighting for their lives just a few short years ago came rushing back to her, and Edward tensed as he began to sense his wife's escalating emotions regarding their daughter.
"It is too soon, isn't it?" she wailed softly.
Edward looked at her, his golden eyes pained slightly. He knew that bringing up his daughter's rapidly aging body would make his wife upset, but he had no idea she would react this way.
"I...I just want my little girl back. Is that cruel to wish?"
Edward shook his head. "We only had a fraction of the time with her as a child that most parents have...and no, love, it's not fair. But what can we do?"
"I…I don't know…I was dealing with this so well, Edward, but now I don't know. I just can't believe that it's already time for her to...to…be a woman."
"It's not quite that time yet. We still have a little bit longer to go..."
"But it all goes so fast!" she whispered, her pained voice causing her husband to give her a sympathetic look. He crossed the room in a flash and embraced her tightly, burying his nose in her soft brown hair. It pained him to think that their moments of happiness seemed all too brief before another trauma presented itself. He pulled back to look into her eyes and began to stroke her face softly with his thumbs.
"We're going to have to let her go sooner rather than later, love."
She nodded, her eyes crying invisible tears. She glanced towards her daughter's bedroom, feeling waves of sadness and nostalgia wash over her. He guided her back to the couch where they had been sitting, and pulled her down into his lap.
Bella and Edward sat on their cottage couch, staring blankly into each other's golden eyes - the only sound in the house was that of their nearly seven-year-old daughter, tossing and turning listlessly in her soft bed.
Neither knew what to say.
Down the hall, Renesmee was unaware that her very confused parents were listening to her as she lay in her bed. She was in that strange state between a deep sleep and being awake, and it was making her crazy. Her body was so physically tired and her mind was so wired that the two of them were dancing around each other in circles, taunting her.
The day at the beach with Jacob had done even more to confuse her. On one hand, he had spoken to her that afternoon like his leaving was a small, inconvenient part of his life. It was like he might as well go to college - nothing else better to do, right?. Out of boredom.
But then why, when he touched her and held her in his warm arms, did she feel something different? She had used her gift to show him just how much she would miss him when he left in a few days. How much she wanted him to stay with her, although she was happy he was going to college. She had shown him how proud she was, and envious too. She didn't know what she would do without her gift - sometimes it was hard for her to use words to show Jacob how much he means to her...and how much more he was starting to mean to her.
It wasn't that she wasn't happy for him to get to go to college - she was thrilled. She was raised to believe that education was one of the greatest gifts in life, and that in order to better ones self, he needed to learn about the world of the past, present, and future. If she was being honest with herself, she was even a little jealous of him; she wasn't allowed to attend school yet, per her family's orders.
Quickly pushing the thought of jealousy out of her mind, she tried to calm herself by first thinking of Jacob , and herself second. His happiness was all she cared about; as long as her Jacob did what he needed to do, everything would be fine, or at least she hoped. Her jealousy would have to be pacified for at least four more years. She was happy that he got to experience this aspect of life- she just wished they could have experienced it together.
The decision to not send Renesmee to any type of typical school had not been an easy one. Edward had argued tooth and nail that he could give his daughter the proper education at home and that there was no need to subject her to the prying eyes of the public. It would have been impossible. She would have had to change schools almost every year.
Bella had been slightly more understanding. She had never kept it a secret from her daughter how hard and cruel of an experience high school could be, but she understood how much her extremely sheltered daughter wanted to have worldly experiences. She had made a deal with her daughter that once she stopped aging they would happily send her to a public school, or whatever kind of school she wanted it to be.
But the fact that Jacob was leaving to go to school upset her deeply. She knew that it was time for him to explore the world and have experiences outside of Forks and La Push. Outside of vampires and werewolves. Outside of his Alpha duties. But try as she might, she just couldn't make herself think of it that way. Her sensibility had abandoned her when she needed it the most.
He was leaving her.
And no matter how much she had tried to communicate her unhappiness towards this subject to him, she knew that he still needed to go.
Jacob lay in his bed early the next morning, his dreams threatening to leave, stripping him of the joy that were his fantasies.
He used his flaming hot hands to push her cool, scintillating body up against the nearest thick trunk of a tree. The wood groaned in protest as their strong bodies pushed against its bark, but it stayed put.
"Mmmm, Jake…" she growled under her breath as he made a hot trail of light kisses across her collar bone.
"Yes?" He pleasantly growled back, moving up her neck. He bit down lightly a few times, causing her to claw at the sinewy muscles on his back.
She let out a pleased yelp as his glittering white teeth met her almost stony flesh.
"Mmm, you should know better than to bite a vampire…" she said with a laugh before his lips met hers. She moved her mouth in sync with his, kissing him almost greedily as he moved against her body.
They were flush against the bark of the tree, and it continued to groan as he pushed her against it sensually. Her ragged pants were the only sound in the quiet forest besides the tree moving and creaking behind her.
"Oh, Jake…" she murmured, lowering her mouth to his ear. She sucked on his earlobe seductively as he ground his hips against her. Running her hands down his chiseled, hot stomach, he growled again in delight as her fingernails lightly scraped down his abdomen to rest on the top of his torn shorts.
He moved against her again, causing her to mewl out in delight at the feeling of his rock hard erection against her steadily dampening core. The smell of her arousal permeated the air around them, driving them both insane with wanton lust.
"I need you, Ness, so bad," he panted as she continued to kiss him with force.
"Then take me," she panted, pulling away to look at him. He needed no more reassurance. No longer caring if anyone would find them, he grabbed her legs and hoisted her up against the tree, fastening her legs around his back. He roughly moved against her, causing her to bite her lower lip in pleasure.
"Oh, god….Now, Jake, now! I can't wait any longer!"
Bright light flooded through his eyelids as he cracked them open. He would wake up right now, he growled to himself. Looking down, he winced and cussed under his breath at the tent that was protruding from his boxers.
"Great way to start the day – with a raging case of blue balls," he muttered, tossing the tangled sheets away from his sweaty body.
"Is this a bad time?" a timid voice squeaked from the corner of his room.
Jacob jumped up, promptly smacking his head on the beam above his bed. He was so tall that he had to crouch a bit, even in his own bedroom. He looked incredulously over to the corner of his room, where Alice sat perched on his dresser.
"Alice! God damn it, what the fuck?!" he yowled, rubbing his sore head.
"What? I've been here for almost two hours and you're just now noticing? Some scary werewolf you are…" she muttered.
"Yeah, I'm so used to your vampy stench I've gotten soft," he quipped, still rubbing his head with a dejected look.
"Oh Jacob, stop whining," she replied, pretending to examine her nails. "What's the big deal? And besides, if anyone in this room stinks, it certainly isn't me! I'm wearing Chanel No. 5!"
"How lovely," he grunted, glaring at her. In actuality, he didn't mind Alice nearly as much as he minded a few of the others, like Rosalie and Jasper. Jasper had always managed to scare the living daylights out of him with his scars and strange gift. Emmett's size alone was enough to make any creature think twice about crossing him, vampire or werewolf alike. Carlisle and Esme were the two he felt the most comfortable around, as they were both always so calm, reserved, and human like. Sometimes even Bella could shake his nerves a bit.
"Grouchy, are we?" she asked from his dresser.
"I was sleeping, Alice, and I need my rest!" he said, suddenly remembering the dream he had had that involved him, Renesmee, and a tree…. Looking around, he grabbed one of his pillows and held it in front of his fading erection.
"Jacob, I'm almost a hundred-years-old, if you showed me something I've never seen before I'd throw a quarter at it," she said, not missing a beat.
He rolled his eyes at her and huffed. "Why are you here, anyway?"
She paused, looking at him pointedly. "Lusty thoughts a brewin' here, eh?"
His cheeks flooded with blood as his hot skin blushed in embarrassment at her comments, and a low growl escaped his lips.
"And to think I used to stick up for you when people called you annoying!"
She crinkled her nose and hopped down, walking closer to him. She glanced down at the floor of his room expectantly.
He followed her gaze, and saw that his normally appallingly messy floor was now clean of all clothes and debris.
"You cleaned my room?" he asked, looking around in amazement. His previously dirty clothes were folded neatly according to size in a laundry basket in the corner, and his dressers and knick knacks had obviously been dusted. Literally every spec of dirt in his room was gone.
"I've been here for two hours, like I said. What else was I supposed to do while you snored the morning away?"
Jacob looked at his alarm clock and winced when he saw the time.
"Alice, you annoying little twit! It's eight in the morning! I should be sleeping!"
"Hey now, we have work to do, mister. I expect complete and utter cooperation from you today, is that clear? This is for Renesmee. And don't even try to tell me that you don't care about her, okay?"
Jacob shut his mouth and heaved a sigh, throwing his pillow down. "Okay, what do you want?"
"Thank you, now was that so hard?" She asked, putting her small hands on her tiny hips. He gave her a sideways glare as he sat down on the edge of his sagging twin bed.
"Get on with it," he growled.
She flitted to his closet and flung open the door. She had stocked it a few years ago with clothes, but half of them were either destroyed or unworn due to their designer status. Jacob had no patience for expensive clothes and fancy labels, and had simply tossed them aside. Anything he deemed appropriate was either ripped, stained, or destroyed accidentally.
"How are you supposed to find something to wear to the bonfire tonight when you leave me this to work with?!" she shrieked, motioning at the clothes so fast her hands became a distressed blur. Her golden eyes looked at him with question, her tiny pink lips open in an 'O'.
"Wait, how did you…never mind."
"Trust me on this one, Jake. We need to go shopping."
"You're kidding, right?" I've got a full day of packing and errands to do before I leave! I do not have time for you to drag me off to some crappy stores for the day. And don't even try to tell me that it won't take all day, because I've heard tales about your shopping excursions before."
"Too bad. Besides, you're already packed!" she gleefully motioned to his suitcases in another corner, neatly stacked up. Jacob just closed his eyes and shook his head.
Before he knew it, she was dragging him from his bedroom with her stony fingers wrapped around his large hand. She gave a small wave to Billy, who sat at the table, drinking coffee and eating a strangely elaborate breakfast of eggs, waffles, and bacon. He gave his son a slightly apologetic look as Alice tossed him one of his shoes from the front mat by the door.
"You let her in? Really, Billy? You let a vampire into our house to harass me?"
Billy shrugged and motioned to his breakfast. "She cooked and did three loads of laundry…I was in no position to argue," he said with another shrug.
Jacob gave him an astounded look and winced as one of his shoes sailed through the air and hit him square in the chest.
"Ow!" he shouted, grabbing it and putting it on.
"We're on a schedule, dog!" she trilled from the front door, which she was already holding open.
"You'd better get a move on, son," Billy said quietly, his black eyes glittering with mischief. Jacob shook his head one more time at his father.
"Really, dad? Really?" he asked before walking out the door.
A few minutes later, the two of them were flying down the interstate at well over a hundred miles an hour in Alice's Porsche, which he was sure would look like a blur if caught on a speed detecting camera.
Jacob was used to vampire driving, but this was ridiculous, he noted to himself. He watched her speedometer continue to climb up into triple digits. He gripped the handle on the door and resisted the urge to brace himself in case they were to crash.
"Alice, have you ever killed anyone?" he asked, looking at her sideways.
"Why do you ask?"
"Cuz I feel like I'm going to die if you keep driving like this. Have you ever killed anyone or not?"
"Certainly not from my driving," she huffed, adjusting her rearview mirror as they flew down the winding road.
"Then from what?"
"Jacob, has it escaped you completely that I am in fact, a vampire?"
"That pretty much answers your question then," she replied shortly.
Jacob turned his head to look at her curiously. "So you've really…killed…people before?"
Alice frowned, adjusting her sunglasses on her stony face. "It was an accident! I was a newborn, what do you think happened? I didn't know where or what I was, and I had no idea that people…smelled so good. I didn't mean to. I wandered up to a house to get some help and I accidentally…" she trailed off, her voice softening.
"You didn't know what you were?"
It was Alice's turn to look at him sideways. "No…Nessie never told you my story?"
He shook his head. "She said with…vampires…it's not polite to tell others their stories of how they changed…she said sometimes it's kinda…traumatic."
Alice smiled wistfully. "That does sound like something Nessie would say," she said.
"I was just teasing earlier, Alice, I don't' really need to know, I'm sorry," he muttered, looking out the window. He now felt bad for poking fun at her death total.
"No, it's okay. Long story short, whoever it was from the asylum that turned me left me in a ditch on the side of the road. I guess he was being chased…I'll never know. I woke up one day and…just was, you know? I still had a plastic medic bracelet on that said 'Mary Alice', although later I dropped the 'Mary'. I knew I was different, but I didn't know what I was. You don't know when you're born what the burning in your throat is," she explained.
She continued as they flew down the wet, dewy roads towards the city. "I discovered my speed and ran all the way to Louisiana before I finally stopped. I stumbled…well…danced up to farmhouse to try to get something to eat, and I…."
She stopped, her mouth remaining slightly open, unsure of what to say next.
"You don't have to say it," he said.
She smiled painfully at him, and continued again. "I was still so thirsty after that, and I went out back when I smelled something else…something bigger."
Jacob tried not to let her see him wince.
"He was a dairy farmer."
Jacob whipped his head over to look at her. "Cows? Really Alice? Cows?!"
She pursed her lips and frowned. "You eat cattle, don't you?"
"Look, I didn't know when I woke up that I was a vampire, Jacob! It's not like someone handed me a bouquet of congratulatory roses and my 'How to be a Vampire' manual! I had to figure it all out by myself! I woke up in a muddy ditch for heaven's sake!" her high soprano voice rang in the tiny sports car, and he grimaced at the sound.
"Well, that's what happened, I'm sorry if it disgusts you," she trilled, adjusting her sunglasses.
Jacob winced again as she stomped her tiny foot down even further on the gas pedal. His eyes moved from her stony profile to the speedometer.
"And I thought Edward's driving made me nervous," he said, watching the scenery positively fly by. She seemed to relax a little, and she slowly turned to smile gleefully at him.
"You haven't seen anything yet! Let me show you what my baby can do!" she giggled, her tinkling laugh resonating in the car as she patted the dashboard. He felt his body get sucked into the passenger seat as she switched into a higher gear.
And so it had arrived. Jacob's last night in La Push.
To celebrate and give him a proper goodbye, all of the members of his wolf-pack were giving him a traditional Quileute bonfire, complete with tales from the elders and to the delight of every pack member; a huge meal.
"Really, Alice?" Renesmee said, looking at the designer scarf her aunt was trying to get her to wear.
"Come on, Ness...I bought like five million of these the last time Rosalie and I were in Paris, and I really want someone to get some use out of them!"
Alice was helping her get ready in her room up at the Cullen's main house, wanting to ensure that her outfit was the 'cutest' one there.
"But it's to a bonfire with werewolves present. I don't think they care if this is the best silk Paris has to offer," she replied, tossing it off with a flourish.
Alice cleared her throat and caught it before it hit the carpet, her fingers admiring the texture of the fabric. "You know who you sound like?" she asked.
"Dare I ask," Renesmee replied, sifting through her closet.
"Perhaps a certain mother of yours used to refuse my clothing and fashion expertise…" Alice teased her, her golden eyes gleaming.
"What do you mean 'did'?! She still does!" Alice huffed, shifting through the tops on hangers. The hangers clicked together as she pushed tops to the side, examining each one at lightning speed.
"My mom dresses…okay," Renesmee said, looking at herself in the full length mirror.
"Ness, the girl should buy stock in Levis and stretch cotton," Alice said, materializing behind her niece. She winked at her with a sideways smile and flashed back to the rack of clothing.
"Okay, okay...I'll wear it..." She huffed, tying the long, multicolored scarf around her neck and knotting it.
Turning to admire her reflection in the mirror once again, she had to admit it wasn't bad. She was wearing dark jeans, a dark blue, long-sleeved shirt, a crème colored down vest, and Alice had topped it off with the beautiful, colorful scarf. She looked perfect for a bonfire in the chilly, early September night.
"You're right, it does look pretty good," she said.
Alice giggled, watching as her niece admired herself. "Okay there, Rosalie," Alice teased.
"I'm just…making sure I look nice," Renesmee defended herself. Glancing back into the mirror, she applied a little bit of lip gloss and pressed her lips together, evening it out. She had never really worn makeup; she never really needed to. Her vampire side made her more appealing aesthetic features stand out; she had big, chocolate brown eyes that were framed with long, dark lashes. Her cheeks flushed with just the right amount of pink, and they matched her pretty plump lips. All of these features were set off with her luminescent, ivory skin.
"No one in this town even begins to appreciate the fashion sense that I demonstrate...no one at all..." Alice trailed off; flitting from side to side in Renesmee's large closet, moving so fast she almost became an ivory-colored blur.
"No offense to the La Push girls, Alice, but haute couture fashion isn't exactly a concern of theirs," she laughed.
She wasn't meaning to sound cruel or haughty; the girls that the wolf-pack boys had imprinted on were all beautiful in their own special ways. They didn't need to wear flashy clothing or lots of makeup to accentuate their looks – their raven hair and beautiful, tan russet skin set them apart from most girls.
Like Emily. Most people would look at her scarred, marked face and see nothing but the long scratches left by her imprint and husband, Sam. However, that's not what Renesmee saw when she looked at her. She saw her beautiful skin and long layers of flowing, black hair that encased a beautiful soul underneath. A soul that loved her husband, family, and her adopted wolf-family without resentment or reason.
Her head whipped up and out of her reverie when she heard a familiar heartbeat and breathing pattern in the woods.
Jacob...in...human form? She thought to herself. It was very strange of him to show up in human form
"Hmmmm....interesting," Alice murmured, her eyes glazing over as she looked towards the windows that lined the back wall of Renesmee's bedroom. Renesmee knew her aunt was having a vision of something to come by the blank stare reflecting in the panes of glass.
"What? What did you see?" she asked. Alice blinked a few times, her golden eyes glittering. She crinkled her pixie-like nose for a second before turning to look at her niece.
"Nothing," Alice said with a grin. She bounded to the window, looked out, trilled a high pitched laugh, and bounded back to her niece in another leap. Kissing her on the cheek with a wink, she was gone.
"Eh...vampires..." she mumbled, throwing up her hands. For being half-vampire, she didn't always understand them completely. Sniffing the air in her bedroom, a small smile crept up on her lips. She would know that woodsy, yet pleasant, cinnamon spiked with pine smell anywhere. Jacob…. She walked over to the doors that lead to the balcony that ran the entire back length of the house and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him through the glass. There he stood, down on the ground, waiting for her. The lights from the back of the house shone on his chiseled, russet face.
Now I know why he ran... she thought. Jacob had actually taken some time with his appearance tonight - she had known him long enough to recognize that. His usual ripped, stained, cut-offs had been replaced with a decent pair of dark jeans that actually fit him well - lose enough to still be masculine but tight enough to show off his long, firmly sculpted legs. His black t-shirt was covered with a red and black-patterned flannel button-up shirt that clung to his well-muscled chest in all the right places. He had topped the outfit off with a pair of chunky black boots instead of his usually bare feet.
He looks so good, even in clothes…..she thought. He really is perfect.
Jacob stomped at the ground a bit as he stood, impatiently waiting for her to come down and join him. Her heart skipped one of it's impossibly fast beats and she felt her teeth come down and bite the corner of her lip.
"Thank you, Alice," she whispered before opening the door.
From somewhere in the house, Alice called out a simple "You're welcome!"
She knew that Alice was constantly itching to buy everyone she came in contact with new, fashionable clothes. It was like a sport to Alice. Most of their family members took it in stride after decades of being forced to get used to it, but Jacob has always shrugged off her purchases for him as ridiculous and un-needed.
His tiny closet at Billy's house had been stuffed to the brink with a few unworn suits, button up shirts, and Italian leather shoes. The only thing he did do was tear the sleeves off the expensive t-shirts and make the designer jeans into ratty looking cut-offs. Had Alice had a heartbeat, she surely would have gone into cardiac arrest.
Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her silver cell phone and shoved it securely in her pocket. There wasn't exactly a need for a purse when you were going to be hanging out with werewolves at a tribal bonfire.
Her not-so-innocent dreams she had had about Jacob were on the front of her mind as she took once last glance around her room to make sure she was ready, and she felt blood pool in her cheeks.
Calm down! She said to herself. This evening was going to be awkward enough as it was his last night in La Push, and she didn't want to make it even more awkward by acting like a silly, boy-crazy goon. She pushed the glass door open to her balcony after trying her best to slow her thrumming heart a little. She didn't want to appear too excited to see him.
She walked out onto the balcony and peeked over the railing at Jacob, who stood waiting in the darkness.
"So I take it you won't be phasing anytime tonight and ruin your fancy new clothes?" she asked, taking note of his new attire.
"Nah, I figured I should look nice since this is the last time you'll see me for awhile. Gotta leave you with a good impression," he called up to her with a smirk. He hooked his thumbs in the belt-loops on his pants and grinned up at her.
Renesmee felt her heart speed up and take off. Only he had the ability to make her heart do crazy things.
"You could have at least picked me up in your truck," Renesmee teased, leaning off the balcony to yell at him.
"Yeah...but I had other plans, thanks to your mother," he replied, holding up a keychain. The Ferrari emblem caught the light and shone in the dim lights of the house. She laughed and gave him a knowing look. Jacob always jumped at any chance to drive the Cullens' fancy cars.
"Be right down!" she called. A few seconds later, she was launching herself over the railing of the balcony, landing gracefully on her feet.
Jacob frowned at her slightly. "Alice dress you?"
Renesmee returned his look as her hopes fell. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, I...just...she always dresses you...differently," he stuttered, looking surprised. His tan forehead creased as he raised his eyebrows, unsure of what to say to her. He was honestly surprised to see her not dressed in a long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans, not that he was opposed to her long sleeved, v neck shirt.
Real smooth, Jake, he thought to himself. Glancing at her outfit again, he averted his eyes from her chest again and looked at the ground. Great, another night where I have to pretend not to notice she has boobs…
"Whatever...let's just go," she replied, walking around to the garage where her mother's Ferrari was kept.
He strode into the garage behind her, and she paused at the passenger side, waiting to see what he would do. Noticing her pause, he jerked to a stop in the garage, his boots squeaking on the smooth floor. He looked at her incredulously as she waited there.
"Aren't you even going to open my door?" she huffed, still irritated with him for poking fun of her outfit.
"Yeah, yeah..sorry," he said, pulling the red door open. He laughed as she climbed in, settling herself in the leather seat.
"What do you think this is, a date?" he laughed. She looked up at him from the car seat, her lips falling open into an 'O'.
"No, I…" she stuttered.
The awkward silence that followed seemed to hang in the air like a dense fog. He laughed outwardly but winced on the inside. He had screwed that one up big time.
Shit, he thought. Way to go, Jake.
He looked away quickly and slammed the door shut before running around to the other side of the car.
Once he closed the door and settled himself into the fine leather seats of the Ferrari, she took a deep breath and tried once again to calm herself. Meanwhile, Jacob was busy fretting to himself as he pulled out of the driveway in the exotic car. He looked both ways before peeling out onto the highway, and he finally felt himself relax a bit as Renesmee's inviting scent filled the car.
He breathed in the soft tones of …What does she smell like? Hmm…Clean cotton. The water lilies that only bloom at night in the tide pools on First Beach. And the wild raspberries that grow in that briar patch behind the garage. And that stuff mom used to use to bake..oh yeah, brown sugar. God she smells good…like heaven. Does she smell like that to everyone else? Or just to me? He thought to himself.
Do I smell good to her? I hope so….I remember Sam thinking about how good Emily smelled to him. Am I crazy? His thoughts seemed to echo inside his head as they drove the winding road along the shoreline to La Push.
The silent ride was starting to eat at Renesmee. She couldn't think of anything to say even though her mind was screaming a million things at her. She kept looking over at him, trying to read his face, all while resisting the urge to place her palm on his arm and show him how awkward she felt. Would telling him she felt awkward just make things more awkward?
"Something wrong?" he asked, sensing the mood change in her.
"No...Just thinking," she replied as the scenery flashed by. Jacob shrugged and pressed down on the gas pedal, flying through the dark back roads to his hometown.
She looked over at him and smiled, knowing that he appreciated the car like her mother never had. Bella had never really gotten used to the Cullen's fancy lifestyle - and although Renesmee usually didn't mind it, she was afraid that it intimidated some people at times. Just because she enjoyed luxurious things didn't mean she liked flashing it around, especially in a small town.
If I go to college and do well, someday I'll be the one buying cars like this for her...not daddy and auntie Cullen... he thought to himself as he pulled up to the cliffs where the rest of his pack had gathered.
They were silent as they approached the group of his brothers and their significant others. Renesmee sucked in a nervous breath. They heard hoots and cat calls of appreciation as the flashy, shiny red car pulled up into the driveway. She ducked her head and slinked away from the car as quickly as possible, not wanting to draw any more attention to their arrival; she was already the subject of too many stares, being the only ivory-skinned girl in attendance.
The La Push girls were all nice and lovely in their own way, but they tended to make her feel a little out of place. They were all very polite and welcoming, doing their best to accept her despite the fact that she wasn't exactly a typical friend of the wolf pack. Most of the girls who had been around awhile knew what she and her family were, but there were still a few newer girlfriends who had no idea.
Instead of the warm, tan skin of the Makah and La Push women, Renesmee's ivory skin glowed. Their long, jet black straight hair made her bronze curls stand out like a giraffe in a heard of zebras. That's what she felt like. The strange looking, awkward one.
Will I always stand out? she wondered as Jacob approached her.
As if he could read her thoughts, he grabbed her hand and she held back a gasp as his blazing hot hand made contact with her own. It was strange, but she found his hot grip very comforting - she had known it since she was a baby. Immediately, she calmed down and felt herself start to relax.
"Hey, guys," Jacob greeted, smacking several of them on the back. She looked around; noticing that everyone she knew was in attendance, plus a few others. Quil was there with his imprint Claire, Sam and Emily, Paul and Rebecca, Jared and Kim, Leah and her boyfriend Ben, Embry and his new girlfriend Jackie, and Seth and the girl he had imprinted on just days before, Elizabeth. Collin, who had imprinted on a little girl from Makah, stood by himself. Renesmee winced, remembering that Jake told her it did not go over well with her parents. She was silently grateful she didn't have to deal with any of that drama.
"Hey Nessie!" Quil said, walking over to them. He carried a bundled up Claire on his shoulders, who was choking him with her scarf.
"Hey Quil," she laughed. Claire giggled and squealed with delight as Quil made a playful gagging noise that further egged on her fit of laughter.
"Finally!" Paul called out, seeing the younger members of the pack finally arrive; Collin, Brady, and some of the other boys had arrived in a beat up jeep.
"Hard to believe there's eighteen of us now, isn't there?" Jacob mused, watching as the tall, muscled boys walked up to join the fire.
He was right to be amused at their numbers - the Cullens and their frequent but peaceful visitors still triggered the phasing gene in the boys of La-Push. Sam had retired to age with Emily a few years ago, leaving Jacob in charge of the largest pack the Quileutes had ever known of.
"You want something to eat?" Jacob asked, walking over to where the food was. A fire blazed in the middle of the area, giving all of the already tan boys an even lovelier glow. Renesmee gazed at their dark, smooth skin and envied the color of it.
"Ummm..." She examined the food that was on the table, sniffing carefully. "I'll take a hamburger I guess."
"Medium rare, no bun?" he asked, holding up a plate. She nodded, glancing up at him shyly. Looking over, she noticed that a few of the newer girls that she didn't recognize were looking at her curiously. When she met their gaze, they quickly looked away.
"They just don't want to seem rude, Ness," Jacob said, startling her slightly. He was leaning down, his dark brown eyes sympathetic to her. "They're just curious," he added.
"I know...I know I must look like a freak to them," she mumbled, fiddling with the cap on her bottled water.
"The guys can only tell girls they've imprinted on what you are...those girls are just dates, so they can't be let in on any secrets," he said.
She let her mind whirl with the thoughts of what the other boys had told their imprints about her. Vampire freak that Jacob imprinted on….half leech, stuck up priss…
She bit her lip and tried to suppress all the thoughts that came to the front of her mind. She took a deep breath and looked up into Jacob's warm, dark brown eyes. He half smiled at her, one side of his face curling up into a smile before the other half slowly joined. With a grin and a subdued wink, she instantly felt more calmer.
She reached up with her hand and showed Jacob for the thousandth time just how well he could calm her down with something as simple as a wink and a smile.
"Really?" he asked, the smile growing larger.
She nodded, looking up at him. Thank you…for doing what you do, she showed him.
He wrapped her in a tight hug and breathed in her pleasing aroma for the second time that night. He let it overtake him and all too soon she pulled away, her eyes falling on the people around them. Jacob looked around at his brothers, slightly confused.
"What's wrong?" he asked, hurt that she had pulled away.
"I don't know…" she trailed off, glancing at his pack and the growing group of people. The last thing she wanted was to draw attention to herself, especially now.
"No one is paying any attention to you. Well…'cept for me," he added, playfully nudging her.
"I know…you do tend to give me attention when I most need it," she teased back.
You have no idea…You've had my attention since day one, kid, he thought to himself.
"What's really wrong? You've been on edge since we got in the car to come here," he said. She didn't seem like her normal, exuberant self lately. If anything, she seemed quieter…more subdued. And anyone who knew Renesmee would not usually describe her as 'subdued'.
"I know...its just hard sticking out so bad all the time...it's just getting old. I must look like such a freak to them," she said, turning away from the group. She watched as the moonlight faintly peeked out from behind a mask of clouds above them, casting a silver glow on the salty ocean.
"No, it is, Jake, don't try and tell me I fit in. I don't. I'm a freak," she said, tucking a long curl behind her ear.
She watched as Seth and Colin stood in front of their audience of teenage girls, telling a funny story with much animation.
"Hey," he said, putting his plate of food down. He grabbed her by both shoulders and bent down so that he was eye-level with her. "You are not a freak. Do you think I would tote a freak around as a best friend?"
"Best friend?" The words rang in her ears.
"Yeah, of course. You've always been my best friend, Nessie," he replied, playfully shoving his arm around her neck and mussing her hair.
Great, he treats me like I'm five.... she thought.
"Sorry, sorry," he replied, throwing her burger on the small grill they had hauled out for burgers and hot dogs. She looked over just in time to see Embry gently grab his girlfriend Jackie and kiss her sweetly on the lips. Her tan skin flushed as she looked around to see who was watching, and then she giggled and kissed him again quickly.
"What?" Jacob asked, following her gaze.
"Nothing, just...I never realized how pretty Jackie is, that's all," she said with a flush of her cheeks. She was instantly embarrassed that she had been caught watching the two of them.
"Yeah, she's alright," he replied. In all honesty, he was pretty sure that Jackie was probably quite good-looking. However, because she was not his imprint, he couldn't really see her all that well. He could see her face and main features if he focused on her really well, maybe even better if he looked at her through Embry's thoughts when they were in wolf-form, but it had never really occurred to him to do so. Other girls just didn't hold his interest long.
With a sigh, he threw another few hot dogs on the grill for himself in addition to the others that were already cooking. He was a nervous eater. He was not looking forward to later tonight when he would have to bid his imprint farewell and go off to college. Leaving her for more than a short amount of time did not sound like an appealing thing to do in the least.
He followed her gaze and saw Renesmee looking around the fire at all of his brothers and their dates and imprints. He felt awful that she felt so bad about sticking out. He wished that he could show her what she looked like to him. He didn't want to be mean, but even if he could see the other girls that were there he was sure that they didn't look half as breathtaking as her.
"So, you nervous, man? About tomorrow?" Jared asked, walking up to where Jake and Renesmee stood by the grill.
"Nah, it'll be good to get out of old La Push for awhile," Jacob replied, flipping his food.
"We'll uh...miss you Jake," he replied, smacking his Alpha on the back playfully. Renesmee smiled at Jared. Even though he was a tough wolf, a fight instigator and sarcastic know-it-all sometimes, he was an all around good guy. He was one of the main people who had helped Jacob when he first phased.
"Thanks Jared," he replied, flashing his white teeth at his pack mate.
"Yeah, sure thing. We'll look after the place for ya," he said before turning to the fire.
She watched as he sat on a nearby log in front of the fire, pulling his wife Kim up close between his knees. She rested her head on his arms that were securely wrapped around her in the chilly night air. When Jake handed her the barely cooked hamburger, she picked at it absently, watching the rest of the wolves interact with their imprints. She just didn't understand the whole imprinting thing. Try as she might, she couldn't imagine feeling anything stronger about anyone than she did about Jacob.
"Shuuu fuulll?" He asked, turning to her with a mouthful of food.
"Ulgh, Jake!" She exclaimed, grimacing as bits of food tumbled from his mouth. "Get away from me; you're getting food all over!"
He took this as a challenge and grabbed her around her waist, swallowing his mouthful of food in one gulp, and then showing her his tongue.
"Jake, I swear!" she gasped, lunging away from him. He grabbed her again and jokingly gave her a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek. Everyone around the bonfire stopped what they were doing to look at the two of them who were now engaged in a rough game of get-away.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground with a playful growl.
"ARRRRRGH!!!!" he exclaimed, lifting her up again.
"Jake!" she shouted, now aware that their game was drawing attention. The stern tone she used to yell his name made him instantly put her back on the ground and stop. She grabbed his hands that were around her waist and shoved them off of her violently, clearly embarrassed.
"Jake," she hissed again, stepping behind him and away from all the pairs of brown, staring eyes.
"What?" he asked, turning towards her. He looked around at his pack members and their dates, and everyone went back to what they were doing.
"Never mind, just...do you have to act like that all the time?"
Jacob was confused. Normally, this was what they did. They always teased each other, wrestled, and goofed off. That was just how they were.
Renesmee was glad when Billy finally calmed everyone down to tell the tribal stories as they always did at these bonfires. Jacob had eaten his weight in hamburgers, chips, and hot dogs, and appeared to be fully sated for the moment. The pack members all quieted and sat on or around the logs that were placed around the roaring fire.
Jacob and Renesmee chose to sit on the ground together, although her cheeks were still flushed with embarrassment at Jacob's gross game a few minutes earlier. He looked over at her questioningly, wondering if she was still upset.
Normally she doesn't care if I do stupid stuff, he thought. Testing the mood around her, he leaned against the large log that was behind him, placing his arm around the back. She could feel the warmth that was radiating from it, and sat beside him but straight and stiff as a board.
The stories began, and she watched wistfully as the other pack members and their imprints and girlfriends snuggled up to each other, each female obviously enjoying the warmth that their bodies created in contrast with the chilly ocean air.
As Billy talked, Jacob became more worried. He knew that Renesmee would barely feel the chill that was in the air, but he was at least hoping that she would lean on him or something while they sat and listened.
Looking around at his pack brothers, he noticed how comfortable they looked with something female leaning on them, curled into their sides. It looked so natural for everyone else - why was it so hard for them?
Quil caught his eye over the fire and smiled at him weakly as if to say, 'I'm sorry, brother,' and Jacob mirrored his expression back at him. He did smile to himself when he saw little Claire collapse in his lap and fall right to sleep. Quil rubbed her back through her coat, shifting so that she would be more comfortable.
Jacob smiled to himself. He remembered when Nessie was that small and he could easily pick her up and hold her in his arms when she fell asleep. She still wasn't particularly big, but they hadn't done anything like that in a few years now.
I wish this was easier...we have so little time left, he thought.
He sat and waited to almost no avail. Almost an hour after the stories began, he could tell by the color of the sky that it was really starting to get late. He watched as Renesmee stifled a yawn and stiffened a bit as he watched her obvious signs of fatigue. After feeling like a lifetime had passed, she finally leaned back onto his arm, and a few minutes later her head followed on his shoulder. She had finally given in.
His arm blazed with imaginary electricity as her body made contact with his arm. He closed his eyes, momentarily savoring the feeling of her weight on his arm, his hot flesh tingling with delight. Even the feel of her body with clothes between them caused him to react with fervor.
As the talking of his tribe's history continued, he sat and relished the feeling of his imprint's warm but deliciously sweet breath dance on his collar bone, just above where his shirt collar was. Her breathing had evened – he knew she had given in to sleep, at least temporarily.
A few minutes later he could tell she had woken back up as her heart rate and breathing both sped up. He feared she would sit up and move away from him, but instead she scooted even closer and wound one of her legs with his to warm herself. The fire of want in him burned even hotter as he concentrated on the feeling of her breath on him.
Another hour later, the stories were finished, and Billy collected his coat and gloves to leave the younger boys to their fire. The younger wolf pack members stood and began chattering and re-telling their favorite parts of the stories eagerly - they hadn't heard them nearly as many times as some of the older members.
"You asleep?" he asked softly, unsure if she had drifted back into slumber. He would have stayed on the beach cliff and held her against him all night if she would have asked him to.
"No, I'm awake. Just thinking," she replied, her warm brown eyes staring into the fire. She turned to look up at him, smiling softly. She felt silly making such a big deal about what had happened earlier - she didn't want to argue with him when he was leaving her tomorrow. Pressing her palm to his cheek, she showed him that she was sorry and that she didn't want to fight with him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, wishing he could show her the same. She pressed the tip of her cold nose to his neck, making him shiver slightly. They stayed like that for a few moments before he signed.
"I'd better get you home if I want to keep my throat in one piece," he said sadly.
"Already?" she asked. He nodded, and then untangled themselves and stood. As they got ready to leave, he noticed Renesmee staring at Embry as he kissed his girlfriend. They stood on the outside of the fire, slightly away from the group and held each other tightly as they locked their mouths together with passion.
Why is she watching him do that again? He thought.
"You ready?" he asked, breaking her from her trance.
"Yeah, sure," she answered, and they walked to the car. The drive home was quiet. Almost too quiet. Jacob's skin crawled at the thought of the night and how mad she had gotten, and then how silent the small car had become. He pulled up to the Cullen's main house and returned the Ferrari to the garage where it belonged, and turned to look at her.
"Where are you sleeping tonight?" he asked, tossing the keys on their hook in the garage.
"Cottage," she replied, heading out the door. He followed, and they began the trek down the worn path towards Edward and Bella's small cottage out in the woods. They walked at human pace in silence; the only noise was the sound of the crickets chirping in the late summer air.
Halfway to the cottage, he reached out and stopped her. "Wait," he broke the quiet, pulling her to a stop.
The tension between them could be cut with a knife. It wouldn't even have to be a sharp knife at this point, he thought sarcastically to himself. He couldn't get the feeling of the electric jolt he had felt between them at the bonfire off his mind, and he didn't want to risk getting any closer to the cottage for fear of Edward overhearing.
He couldn't wait. He had to be with her. He had to feel her. Edward be dammed.
She halted, her eyes falling to the forest floor. She knew that they were out of earshot of both houses, and was instantly grateful. Turning around to face him, she was taken aback by the look blazing in his now almost black eyes.
Her heart rate sped up and she felt her palms begin to sweat as he visibly tried to gather his words. The electricity between them sizzled once again, and this time she took notice of the unseen current that burned in her veins.
Now or never Jacob...
"Can I ask you something?" he asked, stepping closer to her. She looked up, her brown eyes full of question.
"Why were you staring at Embry and Jackie tonight, just before we left?"
Renesmee was caught off guard by his question. She hadn't planned on having to explain that one.
"I don't know, just watching them...it's different to see him with a girl after all these years," she answered truthfully. For as long as she had known him, Embry had been a single guy, never so much as looking at a girl.
"Yeah, well...they're new. I mean, they just started dating a few weeks ago...and that's how people are when they first get together. All mushy and stuff."
"So why were you looking at them?"
She was quickly growing frustrated with this game. "I don't know, Jacob, I just was!"
She huffed and started to stomp away towards the cottage, but he reached out and stopped her again.
"Tell me, Ness."
"I don't know, Jacob. I DON'T KNOW!"
He kept his calm. "I think you do," he replied smugly. Her cheeks flushed so red that they felt like they were burning.
"I just...just..." she stammered, trying to collect her thoughts. She hadn't expected him to confront her about this.
"What?" he prodded.
"Just...don't you ever wonder? What it's like?"
Her words send him into a brief shock. She wanted that. He knew now. He knew that this was it.
"Do I wonder what it's like to what?" he asked, teasing her. He couldn't help but want to tease her a little now that he knew she was interested in kissing and things like that.
She felt her blood boil under her skin. He was toying with her. Her anger finally getting the best of her, she spun on her heel and took off again into the woods. He raced in front of her and stopped her abruptly.
"I want to try something," he said, grabbing her shoulders.
"What?" she huffed, crossing her arms. She was in no mood to be toyed with. Her vampire side was quickly getting irritated.
He took his chance. Even if he didn't tell her about the imprint now, there was still something else he wanted to test out.
He grabbed her wrists and uncrossed her hard arms, placing them around his neck. He closed his eyes and let out a breath of relief when her all too willing body met with his, the heat between them practically searing.
She looked at him questioningly, not sure what to do. Before she had any more time to think about it, he brushed his hot, eager mouth against hers.
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