Renesmee Cullen has stuck out her entire life. She doesn't really fit it in with any of her friends or family - vampire, werewolf, or human. Will she always stick out? Her best friend Jacob Black tries to help her feel better about her differences, but he can only do so much. Their feelings for each other are changing, but Jacob has made a pact with Edward and Bella not to tell Renesmee that she is his imprint until she is seven years old and full grown. When nature takes it's course and things start to change, Renesmee needs to get out of Forks. Will she get away from her problems, or just create more? Meanwhile, Jake tries his hand at college - will he be able to get a good job and provide a good life for his imprint? He doesn't want the Cullens to look down on him forever. Renesmee encounters some new vampires along the way, and for the first time in her life, she is presented with one new thing: a choice. She will be faced with more dilemmas than she ever thought possible as her need for life experiences weighs against her need for love - but who will she give her love to? Will her heart take her back to Jacob, or will fate take her in another direction? Enjoy my fic about life for the Cullens, the wolf pack, and several other of their friends after the end of Breaking Dawn! A big Thank You to my beta, Rain-It-Shall for her continued awesome work and support! **Stephanie Meyer owns all, I just elaborated my view!** ATTENTIONThe next chapter of this story is in the que and will hopefully be updated soon. I didn't give up on this story! Please check back! Hopefully it will get validated soon : ( Sorry guys!
6. Chapter 6 - But you're untouchable
Rating 0/5 Word Count 10276 Review this Chapter
When his delightfully hot lips brushed against mine for the first time, there was a moment in time where any number of things could have happened. The forest could have burst into flames. The sky could have fallen down around us, each of the stars exploding like atom bombs when they hit the ground. The world could have fallen off its own axis and I wouldn't have noticed. I wouldn't have exactly cared, either.
The only thing my mind could even contemplate at that moment was the fact that his searing lips were now crashing into mine repeatedly, and his hands were burning a hot trail from my shoulder blades down my back. They rested on my waist and he began to knead the skin that was exposed by my slightly raised shirt.
It was like fire. Like a deliciously hot, sinfully good and excruciatingly pleasurable fire. If there is such a thing.
Again and again his kissed me. I could feel his hands begin to snake around my waist as he struggled to keep them there and not move up my body to explore other places…and oh boy how I wanted him to explore those other places. His chaste kisses were glorious against my lips, but I could tell that he was yearning for more. He wanted to break this barrier as much as I did – I could feel it in the way his hands burned and shook on my cool skin.
It was indescribable. The electric current between us burned and sparked and the flames slowly licked at our two bodies as we stood in the chilly night air, unaware of anything else that was possibly going on around us. I felt my hands clawing at his skin; wrenching themselves in his shaggy hair, aching to feel every inch of his sinewy muscles as they coiled with lust beneath his skin. I could feel how much he wanted me as my body seemed to melt into his.
The seconds ticked by, but my internal clock was frozen as my mind struggled to take in this moment. Even in my hurry to kiss him, my vampire mind made a fleeting attempt to savor this moment so that it could be stamped into my memory forever.
Boldly, I pulled his hands tighter around my body and in turn wove my hands through his shaggy black hair again. I didn't have much experience when it came to kissing (well, okay, none) but I knew enough from watching Alice's cheesy romantic comedies and seeing firsthand my own family members express affection towards one another to get the general idea. For a non human, Alice was probably the most obsessed with being the most human-like in my family, and cheesy teen flicks were her forte when it came to studying love.
Shoving those thoughts aside, I tried my best to concentrate. To savor the moment. My mind was still swirling around itself to attempt to permanently sustain every essence of this experience, cataloging it away to think about it for forever. But I was unable to focus on much of anything except the pleasant embers of lust burning on my lips as I met with his.
My only thought now was, this is it. You are finally kissing Jacob Black...
Even as we were, the excitement of finally feeling his arms wrapped tightly around me made my body ache for more. His kisses were guarded; I wanted more. Feeling as though this might be my only chance, I bravely parted my lips and forced my tongue against the barrier of his mouth. I could feel him start to respond slightly as he parted his own and for a blazing hot second I could feel his warm tongue against mine.
Every nerve ending in my body began to explode as he moved his mouth slowly from my lips to my neck. He kissed and lightly licked a hot trail down and paused at my collar bone. I inhaled quickly and gripped his shaggy hair tighter as he began to kiss and erotically suck at my collar bone. I barely had a chance to register this before he was making his way slowly, painfully back up to my neck.
I was in heaven; no, heaven didn't describe this feeling properly. Bliss. There we go. Bliss pretty much covered it.
He paused for a second before gently biting my earlobe. My feet felt numb for the first time in my life; my legs felt like honey – unstable and hard to move. He sensed it was getting harder and harder for me to stand as he worked his magic on me. I wrapped one of my legs around his as he moved his mouth back onto mine. Jacob wrapped his arms around my torso tighter just as I felt myself almost completely lose control of my legs. The searing heat of his body pressed so tightly against mine was causing my own body temperature to rise; not like I minded, but my body had definitely taken note of his heat. I faintly noticed that beads of sweat were starting to gather on my face and neck where my hair met my skin, and it seemed his body was having similar reactions. The smell of the damp sweat on our bodies only seemed to fuel our need for each other as we continued to kiss. This was amazing.
He continued to kiss me, his hot tongue delightfully parting my lips to run along my own lips and teeth. I caught myself smiling faintly as he kissed me, and a quiet laugh escaped his mouth as well, as if we were sharing the same thought – yes, we are finally doing this and it's everything I hoped for.
He moved his blazing mouth to my other ear, but this time he began to kiss and lightly suck just below it. That was my un-doing. I felt the wetness between my legs that I usually felt after waking up from one of my Jacob dreams. It saturated my underwear in seconds as he continued his delightful but excruciating movements of his mouth on my neck and lips. Suddenly, he stiffened and broke the kiss.
I could feel his muscles tense and he jumped back, racing to the other side of the clearing in a flash.
His eyes darkened and his nostrils flared in an almost panicked manner. I felt blood rushing to my face as I bit my lip and looked at the ground in a split second of embarrassment. He had smelled it. He had smelled my arousal instantly. Blood pooled in my cheeks as I flushed furiously, absolutely mortified for a split second. This was so much worse than being caught by Alice. My body shook once as the shock from being separated from his warmth sunk in; the chilly air of the forest was a stark contrast.
I tried to read the expression on his face, but I had no words for it.
My mouth gaped open at him, already aching the loss of his tender lips on mine. I looked at him with shock as his expression changed from lust to confusion to determination. I could read him like a book…but right now I regretted being able to do so. His chest heaved as he breathed heavily, still several yards away from me; the sound of his breath rapidly leaving and entering his chest was the only noise in the dark forest. My own breath was frozen in my throat, unable to move. We stood in the clearing, both still as the trees around us as I tried to anticipate his next move. I was still slightly humiliated that he was able to tell I was aroused, but quickly decided that my Jacob wouldn't care…right?
Time stood still.
He looked at me, still panting. It looked as though his shirt was suddenly too tight against his heaving chest and might burst from his tan skin. I couldn't take this; the silence was too much and it was starting to eat at me.
"Well aren't you going to say anything?" I asked, my voice startling us both. The words fell from my mouth quickly before I could wait for him to speak.
He paused, closing his mouth and getting control over himself. I couldn't tell if he looked like he was going to run or kiss me again.
The silence was deafening.
"Nessie....that was...." he trailed off, and I could see his mouth searching for the words in the darkness. A glimmer of hope sparked in my thrumming heart as I tried to calm myself enough to listen to his words. A small breath of air escaped my lips as I waited for him to finish speaking. I was inching closer and closer to him, my body aching to feel him against me once more.
I couldn't contain my excitement and adrenaline any longer. I stepped closer to him, grabbing his hands in my own. I leaned my forehead against his chest, smiling to myself as my body exploded with heat and excitement. I felt like my world had finally opened up; I felt reborn from that moment. My body felt the pull of his beating heart and his appealing, woodsy scent, and I wanted it. I needed it.
I fought to form words with my mouth, which had just been connected with his.
"Amazing? Wonderful? Exquisite?" I stammered. My temple rested against his heart – I could feel it soaring under my ear. I turned and couldn't help myself as I felt my lips brush across his tight, muscled chest. He may as well been my own personal magnet. I found his large, calloused hands and held them between us, just above my heart that was beating wildly.
He spoke at the same instant that the words fell from my mouth.
"An accident," he said. The words cut through me like a dull blade.
"What?" I asked, stepping back from him. He took a step back as well, his emotional black eyes falling to the ground. He dug at the dirt with the toe of his shoe, rubbing the back of his muscled neck with his hand, as if he was in pain. His eyes rose to meet my gaze and they were so black and weighed down with seriousness that I felt like my world had been shattered.
"An accident?" I heard my voice tremble, barely audible. He was saying that this was an accident? That he had kissed me and it had been an accident?
My world stopped for the second time that night; but not for a good reason like before, and my palms began to sweat where they rested in his hands.
My heart felt as though it had just started to blossom and bloom and come alive...now it was already crumbling beneath me. An accident? How could something to glorious and right be labeled an accident?
"Yes," he replied, dropping my hands. He turned away from me, visibly upset. I clung to his flannel shirt, pulling him back to face me.
"What are you saying?"
"Nessie, you heard me. It was an accident...I..I..Didn't know it would go that far. You have to understand-"
I was instantly horrified and insane with anger. I watched his face for a sign of a lie, but it was suddenly as expressive as a concrete statue. He didn't waver.
"Now you wait just a god-damn minute Jacob Black. You bring me out in the woods and kiss me and you turn around and tell me that it was an accident?
He paused, clearly frustrated. But he couldn't possibly be as upset as I was at this moment.
"I'm sorry Ness, but we can't do things like that...it..It's not right," he stammered. His eyes left mine for the first time in what felt like a millennium and began to dart uneasily around the forest.
"Why?" I demanded.
"I just...I can't let myself let go like that...we can't do things like that. I had no idea that it would feel..." he trailed off, stopping himself from continuing and a flicker of hope danced in my veins.
"So right? So amazing? What, Jake, WHAT?"
"I...I....we just can't do that. It was a mistake to bring you out here and do that to you. It's not fair to you...to me...or anyone involved. It was a stupid accident, Nessie, and I never should have done it."
My hands began to tremble as I stared into his dark, serious eyes. The tears began to well up in my own from the shame of rejection. I had never felt so used in my entire life.
"Because...I promised myself...and your parents that I would never-"
"This has NOTHING to do with my parents, Jake, and you know it!"
"Nessie, you and I can't-"
I cut him off as my rage built inside me. "What do you mean?" I shrieked, my voice echoing off the trees. I was sure that my family members could hear us now, but I just didn't' care. With each word, he was breaking me.
"I didn't know...That it would feel like...like..."
"Like it was wrong," he replied. My rage boiled and seared through my hardened veins.
"Wrong?" I repeated, searching his dark eyes. "You were there, Jake, and you cannot even begin to tell me that what just happened between us was wrong!"
My shrill yell rang out in the dark woods, causing nearby animals to scuttle away further into the darkness.
"Yes I can!" he yelled back finally. His words shocked me into quiet.
I didn't understand. That kiss we had shared had been nothing short of electrifying, and I wasn't going to let him get away with telling me that it wasn't meant to be. I reached over, placing my palm on his chest and concentrated. I flooded his mind with the kiss from my point of view, focusing mainly on the way his heat and passion made my knees weak and my heart flutter. I showed him how good it felt and how much I wanted it.
He pulled away suddenly, gasping for breath as if he was drowning. "Stop!" he snapped, shoving my hand away.
I bit my lip and looked at him, my hand falling back down to rest at my side. It hadn't worked. I had only wanted to show him how good it felt and how much I wanted us to be together. What was so bad about sharing a kiss with my best friend? Nothing, I didn't think….
Suddenly, it all made sense. The imprinting. Jacob had imprinted, or thought he would soon, and that's why this was so wrong for him. He felt like he was cheating on his imprint.
"Is this about the imprinting?" I suddenly asked, facing away from him. I didn't see the look of pure shock on his russet face.
"The imprinting? How did you know about that?" he asked slowly. His breath sped up.
"You've been telling me about imprinting for years, I'm not an idiot," I replied, turning around quickly. His black eyes were full of emotion as I stared at him. He continued to watch me silently, waiting for me to speak again.
"I see it, Jacob, I see it!" I yelled, crossing my arms tightly against my chest. It all made perfect sense now.
"Yes! That's why all of this is so hard for you! That's why it's hard for you to be with me, because you know you're going to imprint on someone someday, isn't that right?!"
His silence confirmed my suspicions.
I clutched my sides and began to shake as the pain of what I had just realized began to haunt and tear at me.
"You're afraid that kissing me like that and feeling those feelings about me will ruin what you'll have someday with...her," I spat, my voice seeping with jealousy. Visions began to form in my mind of Jacob, my Jacob spending his days with some other girl. Holding the hand of some other girl. Kissing some other girl the way he had kissed me. Jealousy filled my thoughts as they swirled around my head, becoming more and more tainted with hate and envy as I pictured the scenarios. Whoever she was going to be, she certainly wouldn't think kindly of him having a vampire for a best friend – I would be history.
Jacob was silent.
"So I'm right, aren't I? Aren't I? Jacob, answer me!" I screamed, turning back around to face him. He stared back at me, as if he were gaining entrance into my soul.
"No, you're not right. I haven't imprinted on some other girl, Ness, and I'm not going to," he said softly.
"Lies! All lies! I've been to the bonfires, Jacob, I've heard the stories. I know what goes on, and I should have figured out sooner that it would only be a matter of time before you replace me with her!" I spat.
He frowned, letting a low growl escape his lips. "What are you talking about? Her? Her who?"
I made a scowling face and looked at him incredulously. "Whoever you imprint on! She's not going to think kindly of you having a vampire for a best friend! I'll be history for sure! I don't stand a chance against your imprint, whoever she is. If you haven't already met her and just not told me about it…"
"First of all," he growled. "Nothing and no one could tear me away from you. Impossible, I-"
"I've seen how you all are with your imprints! I know better than that, Jacob. I'm no fool!"
"I never said you were, Ness…but nothing could ever take me away from you, and I don't want you to ever think that anything ever could!"
"You think if Quil had had a best friend before he met Claire he would have been able to ignore Claire for her?" I challenged.
Jacob looked at me blankly, clearly unsure what to say next.
"So I was right," I huffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest. A look of pain crossed his features for a split second before he cleared his face of emotion.
"We just can't do that Ness...I...I want you to forget about that imprinting thing, none of that matters now," he replied.
"You heard me."
"How could it not matter, Jake? Someday, you're going to have an imprint and I'm going to lose my best friend!" I said, tears beginning to form in my eyes. "And if the thought of losing me as your best friend and potentially…whatever….that kiss was about…if that doesn't all break your heart then I'm not sure what to think then, Jake," I said, fumbling over my words.
"It doesn't matter now. The imprinting thing means nothing. But we can't do what we just did...at least not now," he added, his eyes dropping to the ground.
"Well if your future imprint will be upset with you then I'm sorry!" I spat.
He shook his head at me, his eyes boiling with his own anger. I felt my body recoil slightly. There was no way he was going to get away with being mad at me. I was the one who was mad at him.
"What right do you have to be angry with me, Jacob? Huh? None!" I hissed, taking a step closer to him.
"Ness, you don't understand! This has nothing to do with the imprint. If you could only see what's going on inside my head right now you would understand! I...I...I want to do the right thing here, you have no idea!" he yelled at me, taking another step closer to me.
My anger and rage swirled around in my chest until I couldn't contain it anymore.
"Ugh! I've had enough of you for one night, Jacob! You can just go to hell!" I screamed back at him. We were almost nose to nose, our angered breaths echoing in the woods. He won out, and I spun away from him, clutching my sides.
I didn't even have to look to see that he barely made it away from me before he turned and phased, and then he was gone. The only sound in the forest was of my tearful sobs and the pieces of his clothing that had been destroyed as they fell to the ground.
Jacob was now gone, and I was alone.
(End Renesmee's POV)
As soon as Jacob phased, he cringed internally as he heard several of his wolf pack brothers inside his mind. He was hoping to phase and run away from this whole ugly scene and be alone for a few hours. He just wanted to run.
The pull of his imprint on his chest made running away almost impossible, but he couldn't breathe in the clearing. He felt like his chest was collapsing as he gasped for air that wasn't infused with her sweet, beautiful scent. For the first time ever, it burned in his nose as he ran.
He winced as he felt Quil, Embry, and Seth read his thoughts. They too cringed when they saw in his mind's eye what had just transpired in the clearing with Renesmee.
Dude, I'm so sorry. Seth was the first to voice his sorrow for his Alpha's suffering.
What happened? Embry questioned.
You guys KISSED?? WOO HOOO!!! Finally! Quil hooted.
Why'd you run away?
Are you gonna be okay? Quil wondered.
Quil, I just need a few moments to clear my head. I can't even think right now. I just want to run, enjoy living before Edward rips me limb from limb. I don't even think I could fight back after what just happened.
Just calm down…it can't be all that bad, Quil tried to reason with him.
You weren't there man, Jacob replied. She…we…kissed…and I freaked…I can't even think straight.
That's how it's supposed to be, Jake. She's your imprint, Quil said.
That's just the thing…she got mad after I told her it was a mistake and now she thinks that I've imprinted on someone else, or at least I'm going to…this is such a fucking mess, it's not even funny.
Well, it's a little funny.
Embry, I swear…I'm gonna-
Just calm down, Jake. So you kissed your imprint. So what? Wasn't it great? It's like nothing else in this world…Embry thought, flooding their minds with images of Jackie and kissing her soft lips.
Embry, knock it off! Jacob thought sternly. I can't think about that right now. What the hell am I going to do?
I say be a man and go back there, now, Jake. Edward would respect that; I know he would. You can't leave it like this man, you just can't, Seth reasoned.
You would, Seth…Jacob growled.
What? I know Edward well, Jake. He's like a brother to me – he should be like one to you , too.
He's gonna be more like, his father-in-law! Quil retorted.
Shut up! Just everyone shut up…Seth I can't go back there…not after what I did. I left her…I just ran.
Yeah, and you totally shouldn't have. Just be a man and go back! Seth replied sternly.
Easy for you to say! You have no idea what it's like to have imprinted, last time I checked! Jacob shot back.
Whatever man…just go talk to Edward and Bella. They're really understanding, and they will help you through this. It was just a kiss – it's not like you fornicated with their daughter right there on the forest floor, Seth replied.
Instantly, they were all bombarded with mental images from Jacob's mind of his fantasies that involved a very un-innocent activity that he could do with her on the forest floor.
Thought about that before, have we? Embry ribbed at him.
Jacob silently chastised himself for thinking of such things in the company of his phased brothers, but it wasn't easy for him to control his thoughts when he was this upset and frantic.
Jake…just calm down…this will all work out, Quil tried to reason with him.
Yeah, easier said than done. I kissed her, I left her, and now I'm going to be vampire dinner. Super.
After his comment, the four of them were silent for a few moments. Jacob took note of where the other boys were through the images around them, and made a point to stay away. Before long, their thoughts began to hum again as they all attempted to think of something besides Renesmee, for Jacob's sake. He heard Embry's voice next, and he thought his head was going to explode.
"Isn't Jackie beautiful? What do you guys think of her? I swear I could kiss her for days at a time and not even notice….
Jacob thought he was going to run the three miles away that Embry was and tear him limb from furry limb the next time he spoke.
I told Jackie everything! I just told her I burst into a fur ball sometimes and that's she's my imprint...I was made for her..., Embry replied in a dreamy voice.
Embry? Jake barked mentally, not now!!!!
Sorry Jake...I'll try to control it...I'm really sorry about what happened with Nessie, man...I really am. I'll try not to think about Jackie so much, but it's so hard…
Jacob instantly felt horrible for yelling at Embry about telling his imprint the truth. He should be happy, not jealous of him. But he wasn't; it was too hard, and he was too envious. It had happened for Embry the way that it should have happened for he and Nessie, but that wasn't the case.
Yeah, why didn't you just tell her? Embry asked after hearing his thoughts.
You could have made your life a lot easier man, just tell her. I think you make yourself suffer a lot more than you have to...
It would make life so much easier if she knew, maybe then you guys could finally be happy together....
Quil's final remark set him off the edge.
ENOUGH!!!! I've had enough! I just can't...even process this right now. Is everyone where they need to be for tonight? You are all to phase back immediately. Give me two hours. I need to be alone. Go! He yelled at his pack.
With that said, he pushed off and found another ounce of anger within himself that propelled him even faster though the woods. The two wolves that were bounding behind him, Seth and Quil, quickly fell behind as he raced through the woods.
Jacob felt bad that he had abused his Alpha status and yelled at his friends; but tonight he simply wanted to be left alone with his thoughts. He suddenly wanted to be as far away from Forks as possible.
She hadn't moved. She hadn't taken a breath. She hadn't even begun to think straight before Alice appeared in the clearing.
Alice had been in the main Cullen house, lazily speed reading through her favorite trashy romance novel on her bed and listening to the 'Hits of the 80's', when her vision had clouded. She had gotten a picture of her niece, in the forest, and extremely distressed and nearly catatonic. Jumping up, she had sped through the forest like a meteor flying towards an object – nothing could get in her way.
Alice's eyes widened when she found her niece, clutching her middle, doubled over on the ground. Her eyes were closed tight and her breathing was labored, as if she was having difficulty getting air.
She bent down with concern coloring her face and gently shook her niece.
"Renesmee? Are you okay? I saw you out here alone, and I...I came as fast as I realized..."
Renesmee looked up at her aunt with tear-stained cheeks, suddenly angry that her aunt hadn't warned her about the consequences of kissing her best friend.
"Why didn't you warn me?"
Alice frowned, her golden eyes losing focus slightly as she recalled the vision she had seen earlier in the day of their night at the bonfire. It wasn't supposed to end like this.
She hadn't been sure if Jacob was going to tell Renesmee about the imprint tonight - that's why that part had been foggy. But the kiss had been crystal clear, and everything after that had looked...pleasant. He hadn't made up his mind about anything else, so it was also blurry, but she certainly hadn't foreseen this outcome.
"Nessie,..I….I'm sorry I didn't see," Alice stuttered, perhaps for the first time in her life.
"Alice, he…he kissed me…and then he said it was an accident!"
Alice gritted her razor sharp teeth and resisted the urge to follow Jacob's scent into the woods to twist his neck shut.
"Come on, let's get you home," she replied, scooping Renesmee up into her arms. She darted through the forest towards the Cullen's cottage, hoping to see a glimpse of what was to come.
Jacob ran and ran until he was certain he was near the Canadian border. How had he managed to screw everything up so bad?
I'm an idiot, that's how...he thought bitterly to himself.
He was kicking himself mentally for treating Renesmee like that, and it felt like his body was joining in the fun too. Any type of emotional pain a wolf inflicted on its imprint was doubled back at full force, and Jacob was just starting to understand how badly that hurt. Physically, mentally, and emotionally- it was exhausting and excruciating.
He had made a promise to Edward and Bella, and as much as he had wanted to tell Renesmee that she was his imprint and live happily ever after, it just wasn't that easy. He knew what he wanted to tell her - but Edward's order to not tell her until the time was right may as well have been an Alpha order. Jacob was and always had a hard time disobeying Edward's wishes ever since that fateful day almost seven years ago when he had imprinted on his daughter.
Jacob knew that he was lucky to even be breathing after imprinting on a vampire's daughter - he didn't really want to do anything else to piss off the coven of leeches.
When Renesmee had hit the ground crying, it felt like his chest had been split open. When he had turned and phased, running into the forest it felt like someone was removing his heart with a bare fist. Each breath he sucked into his wolf lungs burned in protest; even his feet felt heavy as he ran.
He had screwed up big time. The worst part was that there was no time to fix it either - he had already put off moving to school for as long as possible - classes started the day after tomorrow. And even if he did go to apologize to Nessie tonight, there was no way that she would even speak to him. He knew his imprint, and he knew that it would be a day or two before she calmed down. He knew that this one would just take time to fix.
Shaking his head, he tried to banish the image of Renesmee curled up on the forest floor from his head. This was a bad sign. He couldn't make the picture of her crumpled body go away. He had seen that image before, in the memories of Sam Uley.
...It was the same way her mother had been found, many years before....
With a heavy sigh, he turned and headed back towards La Push. He knew that running away from his problems wasn't the right thing to do, but he couldn't bare to head home just yet. He changed his mind several times during his run, ending up at the water's edge on Neah Bay, the most western tip of Washington. It was a place that he liked to visit, for it boasted tall, rocky cliffs that overlooked the ocean and its blue-green inlets of water. At times when he was conflicted, he would come there and look out over the water to clear his thoughts a bit. Huffing slightly, his breath came out in short puffs of cloudy air. The salt scent from the water burned pleasantly at his nose, almost the way Bella did to him now.
He laughed internally when he thought of how disgusted he thought he would be with Renesmee's mother after she was changed into a vampire, but he really didn't have much to complain about. She wasn't cold and marble- like, she was just cooler and her skin was harder to harm, which was a good thing in clumsy Bella's case. Her scent wasn't entirely as unpleasant as he thought it would be; it was sweeter and burned his nose a bit. All and all, he now understood why she had made the change; for love. Now that Renesmee was in his life, he was a lot more lenient with people when they did things 'for love'.
And if Bella wasn't a vampire, I would never have gotten Ness, he thought to himself.
Snorting at the thought, he sat down on his haunches and tried his best to enjoy the view of the tides rolling in, one by one.
Sure, the cliffs there weren't that different from the ones on La Push beach back home, but it was something about this place being the furthest west point in Washington that appealed to him. It was almost like if he stood up and stretched tall enough he could see another place, far, far away from the home he had always known.
As much as he didn't want to leave Renesmee, he knew that at some point, he needed to get out of La Push. Before Bella, the Cullens, and Renesmee had come into his life, he had plans and dreams about travelling all over North America; seeing all the great sights that the continent had to offer. His ability to phase would eliminate the cost of travel, and he could cover lots of ground without tiring. His plans had been perfect. Then, everything else had happened while he was busy planning.
I guess life really is what happens when you're busy doing other things, he thought. Turning to leave, he continued on his run to think some more. Maybe thoughts would come easier as the darkness flashed by in a blur of speed.
Edward heard the thoughts of his daughter and sister as they approached. His head snapped up from the game of chess he was playing with Bella and he abruptly shoved his chair back from the table sending it toppling over behind him. Bella looked up and her motion matched his as she heard Alice's familiar footsteps a few seconds later. They both whipped outside just as Alice skidded to a graceful halt in front of them, their daughter in her arms. .
"Oh my god, what happened?!" Bella shrieked, her hand flying to cover her mouth. The salty scent of Renesmee's tears both shocked and horrified her mother. Edward's mouth gaped open as he got bits and pieces from Alice's head. She was trying to block him from seeing anything in her head for Renesmee's privacy, but she was so panicked, he was finding loopholes into her thoughts.
Jacob....found in the woods...imprint...wasn't supposed to happen yet...she's numb...so sad... Edward suddenly heard a few of her thoughts as he took in the sight of his seemingly comatose daughter.
"Alice, what happened?" He asked, taking his daughter out of her arms. Renesmee sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve but otherwise appeared catatonic.
"This is no time for silly blocking games, Alice. I need to know what happened to my daughter!"
Suddenly, the image in Alice's thoughts of Renesmee, curled up on for forest floor clutching her sides with pain made him almost gasp in pain too. Edward stiffened and handed her to Bella before nearly collapsing with emotion himself as he read Alice's mind of what had just happened.
He had seen this image before from the mind of Jacob. It was the image Jacob used to taunt and prod at him when they were still fighting over Bella. The pain in her brown eyes as she sobbed made him want to cry himself.
"I'll kill him," he muttered angrily.
Alice's head snapped up and looked at him. "Yes, Edward, because that will certainly help things, wouldn't you agree?"
As mad as she was at Jacob for kissing her niece and then ditching her in the forest, she knew that Edward or any of them for that matter hurting him wouldn't make this situation any better.
Can you imagine what she would be like if you did that? Not smart. Not a good plan, she thought pointedly at her brother.
"What happened to her?" Bella repeated, her wide eyes taking in her clearly shaken daughter. She looked between the two of them franticly, her panic growing with each second.
"Enough with the silent conversations!" Bella finally fumed.
"Edward, please…hurting him for upsetting her will only make them both suffer later, and you of all people should be able to recognize that," Alice said.
He barely heard his sister as she spoke; his thoughts were clouded with rage at the mutt who had done this to his daughter. He knew it was too soon, and this only proved his point further. Even though Renesmee had the body of a near seventeen year old and the mind of someone three times her age, her emotional age was definitely that of a seven year old – she was easily overwhelmed and sometimes felt overloaded.
In his mind, the faces of his wife and the face of his daughter swirled together and formed one picture. It was of a girl...tormented...her heart broken by the one she loved. The broken face of the girl lying on the forest floor had haunted his thoughts many times, and he winced just at the thought of that picture in his head. It was the picture that Jacob Black had tortured him with many times years ago after he returned from Italy with Bella.
Meanwhile, Alice had seen enough. She was determined to put her two cents in about this situation.
"Bella, it's time," Alice said softly, handing Bella her daughter. Renesmee was transferred from one pair of iron strong arms to another like a baby.
"Time?" Bella asked. She was almost certain she knew what Alice was talking about, but didn't want to acknowledge that it was here. Alice gave her a meaningful look, and Bella nodded.
Edward looked up as the two of them exchanged glances. He knew that it was time for Bella to shield their daughter from him to give her much needed privacy.
"Alice-" he started.
I'm asking you for her privacy, Edward. Bella has said it before – she would have been mortified if Charlie could read her thoughts as a seventeen year old girl. Please give your daughter her privacy when she needs it most – right now. Let Bella do this for her. You'd want the same thing! Alice reminded him silently.
Bella looked between the two of them and impatiently stamped her food on the moist ground.
"Sorry," Alice said. "Edward here is just arguing with me about-"
"I am not arguing, Alice, I-"
She held up a tiny white hand and gave him a pointed look. "Edward, this isn't fair for her. She's reached a point in her life when it's more mortifying than helpful to have her father be able to read her teenage mind. Please, Edward, do this for your daughter. Do this for Renesmee's own good," she pleaded.
Bella looked down at her daughter in her arms. She had stopped crying, but was now squeezing her eyes closed so tight it looked painful.
It's like she's trying to stop her tears from coming... Alice thought.
Edward snarled and glanced into the woods in the direction of La Push, and fought against his animalistic side to go and rip the mutt to shreds, treaty and imprint be dammed. He crouched slightly, his muscles coiled and ready to go on the hunt for the boy who crossed his daughter and hurt her feelings.
Renesmee's sniffle broke his concentration, and Alice cleared her throat.
Stop acting like a child, Edward, hurting Jacob will only hurt Nessie, you know that! She chided him mentally.
Edward gave his daughter a pained look and stood up straight from his crouched position.
Bella looked up at Edward, questioning what she should do. He knew that her vampire mind and ability to concentrate would allow her to put a strong, holding shield over their daughter so that he could no longer hear her, but he was completely torn. He had always used his talent to comfort his daughter when her emotions sent her into overload, and he did not relish the idea of not being able to hear her at all. How was he supposed to help her then? He opened his own mind a bit to sample his daughter's, but all he got was a few bits and pieces that were incoherent.
Embry and Jackie kissing at the bonfire…I didn't realize…he wanted this…I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy….
Bella cleared her throat to break him from thought.
"I think Alice is right," he said. "You both are…it's time. I can't help her anymore."
Bella nodded and gave him a tight lipped smile.
"You're doing the right thing, Edward," Alice added.
He watched as his wife concentrated for a second as she adjusted her shield to include their still sniffling daughter. She shuddered a bit in Bella's arms and closed her eyes again, her mind still a mile away, not that it mattered. Her thoughts were now her own.
Jacob finally made it back to Forks in the early hours of the morning. He wasn't sure how far he had gone after he left the cliffs at Neah Bay, but it had taken him almost four hours to run back to the cottage nestled far into the woods. He approached the house, listening. He couldn't hear Edward and Bella - he guessed they were either being very still, or they were out hunting. Listening closer, he heard the one sound that made his entire body freeze.
Inside, Renesmee's heart was beating steadily...almost fluttering, and her breathing was slow and deep. She was finally asleep.
The entire time he ran, the more his chest ached and his head pounded in protest for what he had done. Wincing, he closed his eyes and was greeted by the image of Renesmee's face on the backs of his eyelids, as if she had been tattooed there by a sadistic artist set out to torture him.
Nothing was helping. He was going to have to talk to her later about what had happened, which he knew would be no walk in the park.
He padded up to the house carefully, not especially wanting to be noticed. If Edward and Bella realized he was there, they didn't protest. He quietly curled up in his usual place under Renesmee's window, just behind a patch of day lilies and tried to get some rest; the peaceful, rhythmic sound of her heart lulling him to sleep.
Meanwhile, at the Cullen house, Alice was in the midst of a battle of wills. With herself.
Her already cloudy vision of her niece had all but disappeared, meaning Jacob was most likely near her. Just the thought mustered a low, guttural growl from her throat.
From somewhere in the house, Emmett hooted in laughter in response to the sound, causing her to growl again, this time at him.
"Why so angry lil sis?" Emmett called up the stairs towards her bedroom.
"I just am, go away Emmett," she spat, knowing he could hear her.
Emmett boomed his laugh again, clapping his hands together at his irritated little sister.
"You know you sound like a pissed off Pomeranian when you growl like that!" he shot at her before darting away.
Alice just rolled her eyes and began to pace around her and Jasper's bedroom. Emmett would compare her to a small dog. She wrinkled her nose and paced even faster.
One side of her brain told her to go over to the cottage, drag the mutt far enough away from Renesmee's window and then proceed to beat him senseless. Or, shave him like a lion, which she knew was always an idle threat between pack brothers.
Maybe I'll just shave a big heart on his rump and paint it pink... she thought to herself.
On the other hand, she knew that she needed to stay out of it. She hated the fact that this would all be solved if Renesmee was a few months older, when her mind was a little more ready for a mature relationship, at which point she would be informed that she was Jacob's imprint.
Unfortunately, none of her gifts included the ability to conveniently speed up time so that her niece could be happy. She really wanted this whole imprint business to be done with and have everyone move on with their lives. However, she couldn't help but side with Edward and Bella.
They had only had seven short years with their little girl due to her rapid growth rate, and they naturally wanted to treasure every second they had with her as it was. They hated to see her childhood taken away by a wolf thing. It wasn't that they wanted to keep her away from Jacob - they wanted to keep her away from adulthood. Not that Alice could blame them. The seven years Renesmee had been alive had flown by in a blissful, amazing blur. No one in the family could have ever predicted that the little girl would have such huge impact on their rarely changing lives.
Besides, it wasn't like she didn't like Jacob really. She secretly enjoyed watching anything that annoyed Rosalie, and there certainly wasn't a shortage of that with Jacob around. Jacob made Renesmee happy; he always had. Alice had never doubted Renesmee's love for her best friend and imprint; Jasper was able to sense her feelings towards Jacob, and he assured her that they were unlike anything he had ever felt before.
She didn't know what it was like to have an imprint, but she imagined it came with a lot of added pressure. How was Renesmee to know at such a young age that Jacob was indeed the one for her? It must be a great amount of stress to have to settle with the idea that Jacob was the only one she would ever be with - forever.
Her mind told her to question such a thing, but she could not ignore the way she saw the two of them look at each other. They had looked at each other with nothing but mutual love and understanding since the day Nessie was born.
Suddenly, Rosalie burst through her bedroom door, her normally liquid topaz eyes black with anger.
"Where is he? Where is he headed?" Rosalie panted from the doorway, her eyes wild with anger and hatred for Jacob.
"Oh no…how did you find out?" Alice moaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.
Alice jumped slightly, her glazed eyes turning to look at her furious sister and an apologetic Emmett on her heels as she quickly stomped across the room.
"Sorry," he mouthed behind Rosalie to Alice.
She shook him off and looked back at her enraged sister.
"Where is that disgusting excuse for a mutt! I will rip him open and spill his blood on the ground just to spite him!!!!" she shrieked. Both Alice and Emmett winced at Rosalie's shrill voice echoing off the walls in the large room.
"Where is he heading?! Tell me so I can go meet him and WRING HIS NECK!!!"
"I can't see him anyway, and even if I could, I wouldn't tell you anything, Rose, so give it up," Alice replied smugly, raising an eyebrow. She knew this would only provoke her sister's anger, but she had had enough already.
"I want to kill him! I know I've said it before, but I do! I'm going to kill him!"
"Rose," Emmett began, reaching for his wife. She grabbed his arm, twisting – and body slammed her husband onto the floor, planting her heeled food on his chest with a grunt. She leaned down to put her face closer with his.
"Stay out of it," she growled. Emmett lay in the floor, stunned at his wife's brute strength. He looked up at Alice from his pinned position on the floor and made a cowardly face.
"Rose!" Carlisle said sternly, appearing in the door. Everyone turned to look at him in surprise. Rosalie turned to look at their father, her golden hair flying; Alice breathed a sigh of relief.
"Carlisle, I'm sorry, but this is taking it too far, there is no excuse for his behavior! That stupid mutt…" she continued.
"Yes, Rose, because killing him will just fix all our problems," Alice said in a mocking tone.
Rosalie growled at her and started in her direction before Emmett came to and grabbed her ankle to make her stop.
Carlisle held up his hands to silence them all. "This is none of our concern. This is for Edward and Bella to fix, not us. We must give them their privacy right now, and help only if they ask it," he replied calmly. He took Rosalie by the arm, and Emmett stood, assessing his injuries. He cast another apologetic glance at Alice before the three of them stepped out, leaving her alone again.
She put her fingers on either side of her head on her temples and tried to concentrate to see what was in store for her niece. Although Renesmee was still hard for her to see, she often got bits and pieces. In seven years, she had become a pro at deciphering her visions, as Jacob usually made them quite cloudy and hard to see.
She stood up against the glass windows that lined one wall of her and Jasper's bedroom, staring out into the woods. She felt a familiar, warming breeze as her mate approached, his footsteps almost soundless, even to her. The faint glow of the bedroom lights reflected in the glass, and she could see Jasper standing in the doorway of their bedroom behind her, his honey and sunshine flavored scent meeting her nose.
Smiling, she felt a wave of calm wash over her as she stood.
"Thanks, Jazz," she replied, turning to face him. He walked up to her slowly and wrapped his arms around her tightly, stroking her spiky hair.
"Now why are you plotting ways to punish Jacob Black?"
"Hey, when did you decide to borrow Edward's mind reading trick?"
"Then how'd you know what I was thinking about?"
"Because," he replied, squeezing her tightly. "I can tell by the frown on your face that you're contemplating something, and I took a lucky guess."
"Hmmmph!" she pouted, clunking her head into his chest.
"That and the waves of pure anger and conflict that are rolling off those little shoulders," he added with a quiet laugh. Alice tried to glare at her husband, but soon her pale face broke into a grin.
"But how are you really feelin darlin? About all this? " he asked, his sweet Southern accent dripping over his words. Her smile at him was pained as she shook her head.
"I want to fix everything, naturally."
"What else is new?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her small frame.
Alice snorted daintily, clasping her hands around her strong, wiry husband. Closing her eyes, she tried her best to enjoy the waves of calm and serenity that he was giving to her.
"It almost makes me glad that she's not our daughter...I...I think I would have told her," Alice said, looking up at him.
"It almost makes you glad?" he asked, his voice hollow of emotion.
Alice did not need Edward's gift of mind-reading to know that Jasper had always wanted a child, a boy especially. He would have reveled in teaching their son history, how to fight, and the importance of Southern manners. She closed her eyes and pictured a boy, tall and somewhat lanky, yet still graceful with honey blonde hair and blue eyes...Neither one of them had any clue what their eye color had been when they were human, but Alice definitely liked blue the best.
Jasper seemed to sense what she was thinking about as feelings of insecurity and doubt rolled off of her.
"Hey now, don't be gettin all sad on me. Renesmee as a niece was an unexpected present, and she's been just fine to have around. No need worry about things like that, Alice baby," he said softly, his drawl becoming stronger.
Alice always loved when she could hear his Southern accent in his voice. Decades of living up North and not speaking with other Texans had made it hard to hear when he spoke most of the time, but there were certain moments when it came back to him.
"I don't like you worryin' about things we can't fix."
"I know...It's just hard sometimes. You know that. It shouldn't be difficult for me; I can understand why Rose gets so upset sometimes because she can't have children. But I shouldn't be upset; how could I? I don't remember my mother, or if I even wanted children when I was human. It's never even been an option for me."
"Alice, we have to deal with what we're given. Simple as that."
"I agree. Renesmee has been a wonderful gift that we never expected- you're right about that, and I love her so much. That's why it pains me to not be able to help her!"
"I know," he replied, kissing the top of her tiny head. Not a day went by that his wife didn't amuse him completely.
"I just hate not being able to see!"
"I've heard that before."
"That stupid wolf makes things SO much more complicated than they need to be, I swear!"
"Settle down. Let Edward and Bella take care of it for now. We just have to wait around and see what she needs us to do for her. We'll be there when the time comes."
"Things have been way too calm...I should have seen this coming."
"You can't help it."
"I know, but it just makes me crazy to not be able to foresee these things and help her!"
"I know it does, but this isn't new. No one expects you to predict everything that could possibly happen to this family. You're not a super hero."
"It just makes me feel like the bad guy."
Jasper rolled his eyes. "Look at the bright side. This isn't something that's going to harm Nessie. Being upset with Jacob and her parents is just part of life - part of being a teenager."
"It just isn't easy to watch her suffer like this Jazz. It kills me."
"No one is upset with you...Nessie just needs some time to get over this. Her pride just took a blow - no one likes that."
"She was counting on me, Jasper. She was counting on me to look out for her."
"I just wish I had more control...and better sight."
"Everyone wishes that. Sometimes you just have to step back...and just let everyone deal with their own wishes the way they're gonna deal with them. Things are gonna happen, we're gonna have to let them just happen. If anything, our little Nessie has taught us to not always expect the worst when it comes to dealin' with her and her wolf-y friend."
Alice smiled and hugged Jasper tighter. He was right. Her fretting over this would not make it any better. Sometimes Jasper just had a way of wording things that made her feel so much better.
Meanwhile, Rosalie wasn't taking the news of her niece's disappointment any easier than Alice was.
"Babe, come on, it's gonna be alright. So they kissed!"
"Emmett, you're not helping," Rosalie quipped from her vanity. She sat, running a brush through her long locks- something she did when she was upset and needed to think. She had calmed down considerably since her outburst in Alice's room; however, she was still not pleased with the outcome of things. In her opinion, Edward needed to find the dog and teach him some manners.
"I don't really see what the big deal is," Emmett replied. "He kissed a woman and he freaked out and ran.…just like any normal man should. God damn crazy women, he should be running, screaming for the hills…" He muttered under his breath.
He ducked quickly as a silver hand-mirror soared past his head and lodged itself into the wall behind the bed where he was sprawled out. Little bits of drywall fell from where the mirror had hit and he looked at his wife incredulously.
"Really, Rose?" he asked, cocking his head.
"Are you actually siding with that dog over your wife?"
"Babe, I'm not taking a side…I've learned better…" he mumbled. He flinched when she picked up the brush that matched the mirror.
"I can't believe you. He took advantage of Nessie and then he just leaves her…I just want to get in my car and run him over!"
"Pity the fool…" he mumbled, flopping down on their bed.
She hissed at him, and he threw up his hands in defense. "There isn't anything else that matches that mirror and brush, is there?" he asked, wincing.
"You should know, you bought it for me."
"Yeah, I remember," he grumbled.
She turned on her stool at her vanity and looked at him. "You mean you don't mind that your niece is with a werewolf? Honestly, Emmett?"
He shrugged. "You really want to hear my opinion?"
"Okay. Wait- you don't have anything else to throw, do you?" he asked warily, glancing around her at her vanity. She shook her head, trying not to let a smile slip out.
"Alright. Here's my opinion. She's happy with him. He's kept his hands off her so far and he's willing to die for her, we've already witnessed that when she was born. I literally can't ask for more from him, realistically. Yeah I mean, it sucks that he turns into a dog and he stinks up the house but….he can't help what he is."
Rosalie growled, and Emmett ducked, just in case. "Babe…let me put it this way. Love is love, even if it isn't always species to species, you get what I'm saying?"
"No," she huffed.
"Edward and Bella? She wasn't exactly 'the same' when they met and fell in love, were they?"
"And me and you?"
"What about us?"
"Well you always say it was love at first sight for you, right? I was a human, you were a vampire. It didn't matter – you always said you loved me when you saw me on the ground in the woods, dying. Right?"
Rosalie frowned again, knowing she'd been beat. Her husband may be a tad goofy at times, but she had to admit….he had a lot of insight sometimes. But she wasn't giving up that easily.
"I digress. Anyone but a werewolf! Ugh!"
"We don't know what's gonna happen. I personally don't see why it's such a big deal. We always knew they would end up together, and she's almost seven."
"Thanks for your support," Rosalie growled. She was not going to let that mutt get away with this.
He pressed his foot down harder on the pedal of Billy's beat up Chevy and glanced in the rear view mirror as he passed the sign that read, 'Welcome to Forks, Washington,'.
The sun was barely up as he drove down the damp, still foggy road towards Washington State University, and towards his future. He had slept under Renesmee's window until five, and ran back home to shower and pack the last of his things. He and Billy quickly said their good-byes, and he was on his way. Unfortunately, Forks was on his way to school.
School would be a good change for him. He had left the pack against their wishes, but this was something he had to do for himself and for Renesmee.
Maybe if I have a college degree Blondie won't think of me as Quileute trash...
He snorted at the thought. The day Rosalie Cullen thought of him as anything but a mangy mutt would be a cold day in hell. Since Renesmee's birth, their relationship had become somewhat civil. Sure, they still traded insults every now and then, but they got along without trying to kill each other.
Looking to the side of the truck as he rolled down the still dim-lit road, he noticed a flash of chocolate brown fur as it flew through the forest beside him.
Quil, he thought. He rolled down the window and let his hand hang out, giving him a wave. He knew his best friend would see it.
As he sped down the still empty roads in the early morning, he fought against the hardest pull his heart had ever felt. He knew that college was important, but he still felt like he was abandoning his imprint.
I am doing the right thing, for me and for her…right?
1 2 3 4 5
- 14 Mar 10
- 04 Aug 10
- In Progress