A B.A. in BS
Dear Edward, I have finally gotten over you No, that won’t work. Dear Edward, It’s been 3 years now. You never returned. At least you could keep ½ of your promise; I never saw you again, but the whole thing about life being as if you never existed is a large heaping load of horse sh— GAH! How do you tell your high school sweetheart, the man you stole your heart never to return it, the man who obsessed over keeping you safe, the man who left you broken in a forest because he did not love you anymore…how do you tell him that that you are finally over him and moving on, kinda-sorta. How do you tell him if he’s moved away with his family and you have no way to contact him? You write his sister’s husband, that’s how! What happens if Edward really never returned and Bella went on with her life? What happens if she was able to get over Edward, leave Forks, go to college, and make a life of her own? Would his heart break if he knew she was over him and could surive without him? Would she ever see him again? What about is family-could she really live with out her best friend, forever? What about the wolves? Jake? And oh, dear....what about Victoria?? This story takes place after Edward left. Bella was too much "into" herself (her depression was too strong) that she never did any of the extreme sports, never jumped off the cliff therefore leaving on reason for Alice to come back or for them to go to Volterra. This should be interesting. (BTW the title essentially means ABachelor of Arts inBull Sh--) FAIR WARNING: THERE IS SOME OOC ACTIVITY (Out Of Character) Also, there's some senuality coming up so be prepared :-) I have this "book" finished and the second "book" started and hopefully finished by the end of my holiday vacation. Thank you for allowing me creative license with what's in my head which will soon be on "paper".This Story is rated ADULT for language, future fight scenes, and sensuality. I just wrote a scene in one of the chapters that warranted a change in rating, sorry.Updat: this book is finished-on to the next!
You guys rock and I hope you'll fogive my months-long absence. School owned me for a while. I have a total of 23 chapters in this book and two more "books" after this. I hope you all enjoy!
11. Chapter 11
Rating 5/5 Word Count 4037 Review this Chapter
For the next few months, I spent a lot of time with the family. Between shopping trips and makeovers with Alice and oddly enough Rosalie, watching football and baseball games with Emmett and Jasper (Charlie’s obsession with sports eventually rubbed off on me and I came to like the St. Louis Cardinals-no idea why, I just do), and classes and meals with Esme, I had virtually no free time for anything else. Esme insisted on cooking for me every meal every day of the week, being that it was impossible unless I moved in with them, which I declined to Alice’s chagrin, we settled on a “family dinner” 4 times a week. Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday’s, she brought me breakfast and lunch which I’d grab after class. We would sit and talk while I ate breakfast before my next class.
After the 2nd family dinner, about a week after the first time I visited them, again, I could sense a major anticipatory vibe coming from Alice while she drove me to the house. When we finally got there, she picked me up as I got out of the car and ran me up the stairs, through the door and up another set of stairs then turned left, went down a hallway and stopped. Apparently, I wasn’t moving fast enough for her. Dazed, confused, and dizzy, she turned me around towards a closed door with a big blue bow on the front of it.
“Happy birthday, Bella! It’s from the while family. We all worked on it. I figured you didn’t want to make a big broo-ha-ha about it, so we decided to do something small. Well, small by our standards. Esme made dinner and a triple-layer chocolate cake for your birthday cake-no fire to blow out and no envelopes to open. Promise.
“Well, I would have to say you all did a wonderful job on the door and I must say the bow is your best work!”
Emmett filled the living room with laughter.
“Not the bow or the door Bella, it’s what is behind the door!”
Ruh-Roh, this could get interesting. She hopped on my back and covered my eyes. For such a little thing, she was really quite heavy. She reached in front of me and opened the door, then told me to walk forward six steps then stop. When I stopped she jumped off my back and instructed me to leave my eyes closed. She moved me into four different spots then steadied me so I wouldn’t fall and told me to open my eyes. I felt a huge gaping hole in my face; my mouth had dropped to my chest.
I stood in a bedroom painted a light amber-gold that had to have been larger than my and Charlie’s room combined back home. It was filled with a black dresser, a black four-poster canopy bed with blue silk intertwined and weaving around the posts. The sheets, bed skirt and pillow shams were a deep gold and silk while the comforter was the same midnight blue as the canopy, but with gold embroidered roses. The bed was on the wall that joined the wall-length window that let light through to glisten on the bed. The dresser was on the wall opposite the bed. There were two nightstands on either side of the bed, both black, and with pictures of Charlie and me in one frame (where did she get that from?) on one nightstand while a family picture of the Cullens was on the other. Behind the picture of Charlie and me lay a stack of old books;Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, Romeo and Juliet, and Emma. They were old, but in pristine condition.
“The books are from Carlisle’s Library, first editions.” I was stunned at Alice’s words. “He says they are yours.”
“Oh, but you will.” Their generosity knew no bounds.
There was a wall behind me I had yet to see, so I turned around. I should have known better. There were solid oak French doors with gold handles. Alice was immediately standing by my side.
“You are going to love it!”
“Oh, am I?” I grunted.
I opened the doors in an exuberant, dramatic way pulling them apart as I pulled them towards me to reveal (extended drum roll, please) a large walk-in closet partially filled with shoeboxes, yet-to-be-opened garment bags, a vanity organized with organic lotions, make-up, and hair concoctions (why did I just hear the Debbie Downer wohh wahhhh in my head?). There was another door at very same spot as the one I opened, but opposite end of the closet.
Alice was already there holding the door open for me. I was afraid to look, but could see lots of light coming through it. As I walked passed all the garment bags and through the other door, I was speechless. I stood in my very own spa; or at least what looked like one. There was a large black granite counter with a clear bowl with a silver faucet that served as the sink. There were cherry cabinets under it. The more I looked around, the less I had to say. There was an infinity shower attached to the ceiling and it had glass panels for doors. The shower was tiled in the same color as the sink with chrome door handle.
The shower stood large in the corner perpendicular to the sink and to the left of the door as you walked in. Next to it was a black shiny toilet secluded behind a cherry privacy wall that stood about 4 feet. In the center of the room was a LARGE black whirlpool bathtub which was stationed under a large 4 pane window (thank God there were black curtains pulled back on each side of the window-those would have to be closed if I was ever to get naked in here). Surrounding the window were wrought iron candle holders and votive candles. Behind the right entry door was a set of cherry cabinets adorned with chrome pulls.
There was light shining through a wall-length window near the cabinets. I took a closer look and realized it wasn’t a window, it was a door. Alice was, again, standing at the door holding it open so I could walk through. I had my own personal balcony. It was large enough to fit the 10-person patio table that was on their back deck, but instead had a small 2 person table with an umbrella on one side and a chaise lounge chair on the other. There were red roses that grew through the black iron fence which served as my big-bad-protector apparently. It had to be about 5 feet high. I let out a little giggle.
“Emmett and Jasper put it up to make sure you wouldn’t fall; just being extra precautious. The bottom drawer of those cabinets is actually a fridge so you can keep whatever you like in it so you can eat and drink while you read or do whatever out here. It’s already stocked with water, soda, and some fresh fruit. We can put a door to the balcony in your room, too if you like? We would just have to extend the balcony to wrap around to the window in your room and we can turn the window into a door.” She said it all so nonchalantly.
“No, Alice. That’s totally not necessary! How did you all do this?”
“Most of this was here when we moved in. We just had to do a few alterations and renovations. And not having to sleep also helped.” I ran over to her hugging her while mumbling into her scalp, “You know I can’t thank you enough or repay you enough for this.”
“The fact that you like it is repayment enough.”
“You guys are amazing.”
“We know” the little pixie laughed.
“So what do you see in your crystal ball for tonight?”
“Thunderstorms which can only mean…” I gasped in excitement.
She nodded her head.
“Do you remember what happened the last time I played baseball?”
“C’mon Bella, be a good sport. We’ll need even numbered teams so that means you’ll get to play instead of umpire since Carlisle has a shift at the hospital tonight!”
“Yea Alice, that improves the situation so much.”
“Please, Bella? For me?”
“Fine, Alice. Hey, wait! Damnit Jasper! No fair playing with my mood!”
“It was either that or face the ferocity that is my wife. Which would you choose?”
I had been all over the world; Africa, South America, Asia, and the Netherlands. I had hunted a vast variety of animals and used the degrees I had accumulated over the years as much as possible. I had to do something productive with my time. Most specifically, I utilized my medical degrees by helping out in free clinics, administering help in small, poverty-stricken villages, and even used my knowledge in architecture to help build homes and stores in other villages. Of course, doing this in very remote areas that were under the cover of ample brush or at night. I usually worked in the clinics at night and hunted during the day.
But that still could not keep my mind off of her; My Bella. It could not stop the constant internal bickering-I did the right thing….no I didn’t because I left her…but she needed to grow, to be safe without me-to have a chance to live…but she was living when she was with you…but she was in danger…danger you could have thwarted, and if not you, then your family…yes and look at what my family did to her…it was an accident…that could have killed her…but it didn’t…but it could. This went on for years.
Even when I was working, I always found myself thinking about her, wondering if she had moved on, if she was happy…if she had fallen in love. I knew I was jealous and I couldn’t stand the idea of it, but it’s what I wanted. I had to leave her life completely. I had to take my family with me-to make it as if I never existed. And this was the reason I had left my family. I heard all of their thoughts and pain when we left and I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t deal with Jasper’s guilt, Alice’s hatred, pity, and sympathy towards me, Emmett’s sadness, and Esme and Carlisle’s sorrow. I knew it pained them to leave her and it would cause much more for me to leave, but I had to do it. Eventually I agreed to check-in and visit, but I had to go. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Everything was a constant reminder of My Bella: flowers, the sun, the trees, music, blood, cars-everything.
I was at that point again; not being able to do deal with it. But this time instead of leaving someone, I was going back. I had to go back. I had to know. I wouldn’t necessarily let her know I was there. No, I was going to check on her. I would keep it as if I didn’t exist, but I needed to find out if she was ok. I couldn’t stay away any longer, but I would not dare invade her life again. I would not put her in danger. I would watch her grow, get married, be successful, have children, revel in her motherhood, and grandmotherhood. And when age got the best of her, I would follow. I could not stay in a world where she did not exist. I could not live in a world that did not have it’s brightest star.
I did not realize I had already made my way back to Forks from South America until I was standing in front of our old house. All the smells were faded and long gone was the scent residents. I was ready to take off to Charlie’s house when I caught a glimpse of myself in one of the windows. I was wearing tattered blue jeans worn at the kneecaps, mud caked tennis shoes, a white t-shirt that was no longer white-it was dingy and yellow…and brown…and red, and my hair was matted down and caked in mud. I handed taken care of my appearance for some time. Shows you what living with nature can turn you into-or life without a pesky little sister.
I knew I had to take a just in case. I walked up the stairs to the front door and swung it open. It immediately hit me. It was faint, but it was her. Was it left over from her…I couldn’t say it and beyond that it couldn’t be. I knew for a fact that Carlisle and Esme cleaned up that mess with bleach. I inhaled deeply. It was my Bella, but it was somewhat fresh. Not more than a few months old. Had sheen been here recently? Did she come searching for me? What was she doing here?
I inhaled again and let my nose follow her scent down to the floor-to an envelope. I picked it up, held it closely to my nose and inhaled deeply. It was the most beautiful smell on earth. I flipped it over to see what my Bella could have mailed. It was postmarked in August-and it was addressed to…. Jasper? A growl escaped from my chest. Why was she writing him? Then it hit me; she was writing to forgive him. She always put other people feelings before her own. She had to be devastated by how Jazz felt about his actions. I had thought about calling Jazz and letting him know the letter was here, but curiosity ruled and I had to know what she wrote. Jazz could yell at me later I carefully ripped it open and fell to my knees as my eyes translated the words into emotions.
She…she moved on? She was blaming herself, which was absolutely not necessary. I guess I was the only one between us that knew it was not her fault. She went on with her life without me? She was hurt, obviously. Was all this really that unexpected? Wasn’t that the point: to essentially force her move on? To keep her out of danger and force her to live a life she was destined for? Isn’t this exactly what I wanted?
If it was what I wanted, then why did it feel do wrong? Why did it feel like my heart had just been ripped out of my chest? Why did I all of a sudden feel so alone? She hadn’t left a forwarding address, so I would not be able to find her immediately and I was terrible at tracking, but with practice and time, I might be able to track her. Hell, I could probably have Jenks run a search of all the colleges on the eastern seaboard and find her. And then I would just watch her without invading her life. I would watch her be happy. My happiness and my life was inextricably intertwined with her s.
But now, I was alone in a house that smelled of her, with a letter in hand that smelled of her, in which she wrote she was over me and conveyed messages of love, happiness, and goodwill to my family. My family. I had been alone and away from them too long, I needed to be back with them. If not to ease my own pain, then to ease the anticipation and hope I felt in Esme’s voice each time I called home. It was time to leave for New Hampshire.
Alice had planned every moment from the time I was done with classes until I went to sleep. She kept me so busy that before I knew it, the semester was almost over and it was Thanksgiving break….and time for Alice’s predicted trip to New York that she never let me forget about. By the time I was out of class the Tuesday before we were supposed to leave, she was waiting by her yellow Porsche with a big grin on her face.
“Hey Alice. What are you doing here? We aren’t supposed to leave until tomorrow.”
She bounded toward me interlocking her arm with mine, “We are leaving tonight. Isaac Mizrahi is having an impromptu fashion show tomorrow night and if we leave when we originally planned, we’ll miss it. So, we are going tonight!” she could sense the dread on my face.
“Bella, he’s very creative and I know you’ll approve in the end. Well, more than you’ll approve of the Dolce and Gabana and Prada you come home with this weekend.” She gave me her golden puppy dog eyes. “Please, Bella?”
“Alice, this whole trip is unnecessary.” She shot me the You’ll-Be-Sorry-And-I’ll-Make-Your-Life-Miserable-Bella-Swan-of-Death-Look.
“OK. Ok, let me get back to the dorm, and I’ll pack.”
“Already done. Remember your closet at our house? I already packed for you. But, I do need to hunt. So we are going back to the house for a little while and then once I’ve hunted we will leave.”
“Alice, you are beyond explanation.”
“I know. Now, let’s go. The faster we leave, the faster we get there.”
“I should have walked slower,” I said under my breath.
“Oh hush, Bella. We are going to have so much fun!” We both got in the car and she sped off at Cullen speed.
A couple of hours after we got to the house, Alice and Jasper went off to hunt while I read for my English Lit class. She promised to be back in a few hours and expected me to be asleep by then, but told me not to worry because she wouldn’t wake me. I reluctantly agreed (what other choice did I have?) and settled into my spot on the couch and fell asleep in the middle of my book.
Edward POV (Goes back in time slightly-just go with it)
By nightfall I had reached the New Hampshire border. I was sure that Alice had seen me coming by now. I started to slow down once I got closer to the house. I could hear Alice stalking an Elk. I stopped and watched her agilely float through the trees….until she fell face first into the grass below. It took all the strength I could muster not to burst out laughing at her. She was having a vision. It was her, Emmett…and Bella???
Emmett was asking if they were going to New York.
A skeptical look appears on Alice’s face. “Yes, and you know this. Why are you being so coy and attempting an ever-failing attempt at innocence?”
“I want to go.”He was too enthusiastic.
Bella piped up, “WHY?
“I miss the zoo. It takes the fun out of things when they are all on display, but there’s always a variety at the zoo.”
“Since when do you like going to the zoo? Since when do you like going to see the animals?”
“Since I became a vampire.”
Alice immediately caught on to it, but it took Bella a minute and when she realized it, she started to profoundly protest.
“No! Don’t you dare! We are not going to the zoo! YOU are not going to the zoo! Think about all the kids who will show up the next morning to find carcasses strewn about the zoo!”
“Darn, and I was going to use you as the bait. I’d get rid of the evidence, lil sis.”
“You will absolutely not,” Alice objected. Thank God for that little pixie.
“What? You afraid she’ll fall in the cobra pit. Ohhh a cobra. I haven’t fought one of those in a while. I wouldn’t eat it though, but I love a challenge. Imagine when it tries to bite me and the fangs break off-“ he stopped his train of thought laughing loudly.
Bella picked up a rock and threw it at his head to kick him out of his trance and it bounced off him and hit the window. Well, her aim had improved. The ricochet was so forceful it cracked the window behind him.
“OH GOD!” Bella screamed. “Esme! I’m sorry! I’ll pay for that.”
Alice stood up; it had only been a few seconds since she became familiar with the forest floor. By this time the elk had heard the commotion of her fall and ran away, but she took off after another one and jumped on it’s back implanting her teeth into the creature’s neck to satisfy her thirst. It was the biggest one of the heard. She apparently hadn’t seen me, or heard me, so I took off to contemplate what I had just seen. Emmett and Alice… were talking with Bella…on our front porch…with Bella, Alice was going to New York…with MyBella…then her name just kept repeating in my head: Bella Bella Bella. That soon transformed into: My Bella My Bella My Bella.
Before I knew it, I was running west through the Appalachian Mountains and soon rested on the highest peak-away from my family-and I could not comprehend why. I sat down, still as stone. Alice’s vision was replayed in my head over and over again. They hadn’t told me anything about her. They did call, text, come find me. They did nothing to let me know that she was back, that she was with them, or that she was spending time with them. My family was supposed to have cut off all contact with her. They went against my wishes. But how could I have denied them Bella? I was wrong in that request, well demand. She was family to them too. But they still kept this away from me. Kept her away from me. But did I deserve to know? Another internal battle was ensuing.
Had they told her why I really left? Had she been there all these years when I called and spoke to my family? Why was she there? I had many question and felt it futile to ask my family as they have been keeping information from me in the first place. Do I keep my promise and not interfere with her life and stay away from my family or seek out the information I so passionately desired. I sought a happy medium-I would return to my family and let them attempt to keep their thoughts about Bella away from me. That would be punishment enough. But I would not rely solely on their thoughts for information. I knew they would keep the information from me not out of spite, but out of love, for both her and me.
No, I would not leave. I was became resolute in my decision and knew Alice would have foreseen it, but she wouldn’t know why. I decided to stay and find the information I desired on my own as I couldn’t trust my family to give it to me. I promised to never interfere in her life, and according to her letter she had moved on and did not want me as a part of it, but I couldn't go on for another moment without her. Especially when I knew she was so close. If it wasn't absolutely impossible, I could have swore that my dead heart thumped a beat the moment I decided to go home-to her.
I had originally decided that I would come home after showered and cleaned up, but my legs had a mind of their own and I had left before any of that. It wasn’t a true decision, so it was likely that Alice wouldn’t see it and I would surprise them by showing up about an hour early.
- His Heroine
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