A B.A. in BS
Dear Edward, I have finally gotten over you No, that won’t work. Dear Edward, It’s been 3 years now. You never returned. At least you could keep ½ of your promise; I never saw you again, but the whole thing about life being as if you never existed is a large heaping load of horse sh— GAH! How do you tell your high school sweetheart, the man you stole your heart never to return it, the man who obsessed over keeping you safe, the man who left you broken in a forest because he did not love you anymore…how do you tell him that that you are finally over him and moving on, kinda-sorta. How do you tell him if he’s moved away with his family and you have no way to contact him? You write his sister’s husband, that’s how! What happens if Edward really never returned and Bella went on with her life? What happens if she was able to get over Edward, leave Forks, go to college, and make a life of her own? Would his heart break if he knew she was over him and could surive without him? Would she ever see him again? What about is family-could she really live with out her best friend, forever? What about the wolves? Jake? And oh, dear....what about Victoria?? This story takes place after Edward left. Bella was too much "into" herself (her depression was too strong) that she never did any of the extreme sports, never jumped off the cliff therefore leaving on reason for Alice to come back or for them to go to Volterra. This should be interesting. (BTW the title essentially means ABachelor of Arts inBull Sh--) FAIR WARNING: THERE IS SOME OOC ACTIVITY (Out Of Character) Also, there's some senuality coming up so be prepared :-) I have this "book" finished and the second "book" started and hopefully finished by the end of my holiday vacation. Thank you for allowing me creative license with what's in my head which will soon be on "paper".This Story is rated ADULT for language, future fight scenes, and sensuality. I just wrote a scene in one of the chapters that warranted a change in rating, sorry.Updat: this book is finished-on to the next!
You guys rock and I hope you'll fogive my months-long absence. School owned me for a while. I have a total of 23 chapters in this book and two more "books" after this. I hope you all enjoy!
21. Chapter 21
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I sat on the couch in his room. We retreated there for some futile privacy. He was pacing the length of his room as he listened to my father screaming at him. I could hear words like “bastard”, “jerk”, “broken”, “thief”, “moron”, “idiot”, “catatonic”, and the like being screamed into the receiver from the other end. Edward patiently listened to Charlie as he vented and said things he wanted to say for three, almost four, years. He said some of the same things I said to him when we met again. Once Charlie’s well of anger was empty and he stopped spitting words out at Edward he calmed down.
Edward gave a cover story as to why he left saying that he had to go to California with his family as he was underage and broke up with me in a very poor manner. He conveyed his understanding that it was very immature, wrong, and that he could have done it in a more appropriate manner. I think every other phrase out his mouth was that he was sorry. He told Charlie he only had the best of intentions when it came to me and was doing everything in his power to earn my trust back and he would do the same to earn his.
“Actually Charlie, she’s right here.”
“Would you like to speak with her now?”
“Of course, Chief Swan. Thank you,” he said as he ended his conversation with Charlie and held his phone out me mouthing I’ll give you some privacy. I shook my head back and forth because I did not want to be alone.
“Hey, Charlie,” I tried to say calmly, but my voice shook at the end. I was bracing for the worst.
“Isabella Marie Swan, you have some major explaining to you. What the hell were you thinking? Why did you lie to me? Why did Jake know before I did? How could you let him back in your life so quickly? What else is going on that I didn’t know about? Are you married now? Pregnant? Do you have grandchildren now?”
“I knew how you would react, Charlie. I was going to tell you—“
“When, Bella, when?”
“I—I don’t know when. When I got up enough courage, when I was ready to fight with you about it, about him? I don’t know.”
“Bella, I don’t want to fight with you. I just want to understand.”
“Dad, if you realized you had made the biggest mistake in your, wouldn’t you do everything to make it right? Say when you and mom were first together and in love you had done something really stupid. Wouldn’t you have done everything to fix it?”
“Of course I would, but that’s not the same thing.”
“Of course it is! Edward made a mistake and he realized it and he’s making it up to me. He’s trying and I am giving him a second chance and not just because he wants it or I want it or because it feels good or right, but because he’s earned it.”
“Bells, I don’t like bringing this up, but you know what happened after he left. What happens…what happens if he does it again?”
Edward mouthed the word NEVER.
“Charlie, I can’t predict the future,” I almost thought I heard Alice scream that she could from down the hall, “and I don’t know what will happen, but I know that this feels right and that I’m in it knowing exactly what can happen which helps me understand how to react to it. I learned from what happened last time, he and I both have, and we know that it has to be different this time. We are in this together with our heads and hearts and full-disclosure,” Edward grabbed my hand and kissed it, “and we both know what’s at risk, but we think it’s worth it because this time around it will be different.”
“Bells, I don’t know,” he said calmly, but very unsure.
“Dad, I know I betrayed your trust by not telling you, but at the time I didn’t what to do or how to approach it with you. I’m sorry for that. I know I don’t deserve it right now, but I’m asking you to trust my judgment. He’s only getting one chance to make things right and he’s on the road to doing that. If he fails, I will personally let you come up and shoot him,” I said trying to lighten the mood with humor. Edward grabbed his chest comically.
“You trust him?”
“I’ve started too. He has started to earn it back. I didn’t just give it to him. He has a lot of growing up and maturing to do, we both do, but he’s making the right choices and the right decisions to get there. We have a lot to work on, dad, and he knows that. He knows he has to earn it and he’s willing to put in the work.”
I was looking at Edward when I said these things. I knew Edward knew them, but they had to be said aloud. We both had to acknowledge them. Acknowledge that we weren’t there yet, but we were on our way back and that we were willing to do what it took to get there.
“I’ll give him credit for one thing; he sure has put a spell on you.”
“Dad, it’s not magic, it is love. I’m not saying that next summer you’ll be giving me away at my wedding and having grandkids in two years by any means,” and it wasn’t just because Edward didn’t have the ability to father children, “but we are going to try to make it, us, work again. Remember what you said to Jake? You don’t have support my decisions, but you do have to support me?”
“I thought that might come back to bite me in the ass.”
“Dad, I love you. Edward is a part of my life as much as you are and I want you both in my life. If it comes down to you two not being able to sit it a room together without ripping each other apart-fine, so be it. I’ll keep you two away from each other, but I am not going to sacrifice one of you for the other. There’s been enough sacrifice, hurt and pain already.”
“It really means that much to you? He means that much to you?”
“I’m not going to give him a free pass, kid. Even if he has earned your trust and love back, he’ll still have to work on earning mine back-for years if necessary.”
“I pretty sure he’s willing to do anything for me, for that Charlie.”
“He seems like a smart kid. I’ll give him a chance only because you have and because you’ve argued his case like this. You should have talked to me, Bella.”
“I know. As much as I have talked about trust and honesty with him, I should have given you the same courtesy. I’m sorry.”
“We all make mistakes, Bells and some are easier to forgive and get over than others, but you know that.”
“Bella, if he does anything, says anything, insinuates anything that is out of line, you give me a call immediately and I’ll be out there as soon as I can. Or you can fly home, to Renee’s-you do what you need and I’ll be there for you.”
“Is this his phone number?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Good, tell him we still have some talking to do and he’ll be subject to random phone calls from me. I want check up on things with you two. I want the same full disclosure you two give each other. Well, for the most part.”
“For the most part?”
“The last thing I need to hear about is your intimate moments.”
“Like I said, for the most part.”
“Ok, fine. Let’s get off that subject.”
“How are you going to handle Jake?”
“I don’t know, but he’s on my shit list.”
“Give the kid credit; he was just looking out for you.”
“I know, but it wasn’t his secret to tell.”
“Well, it’s not like you told it.”
“I better get back to the station. I came back to the house to handle this privately.”
“Charlie, thanks for giving him a chance.”
“Yep. I love you, Bells. Tell him I’ll be calling him-soon.”
“I will. I love you, too. Bye.”
I ended the call with Charlie and handed the phone back to Edward.
“Charlie and Edward quality time. I have to be around for that,” said lying back on the couch.
“I just hope he doesn’t plan to rip me a new one, again.”
“He was pretty harsh. I didn’t know Charlie to have such a bad temper.”
“Only when it comes to you. That’s one thing we have in common.”
I rolled to my side as he sat on the floor to look at him. “Just don’t go getting all over protective again.”
“I swear to you, Bella that will never happen again.”
He closed the space between us and kissed me softly, gently. Alice was right: there was time for tender moments later, right now in fact. I thought about spending the rest of eternity like this, kissing him, touching him, being near him. Edward regrettably pulled back from me and said something inaudible under his breath then shook his head.
“Alice, I know you heard me. Go. Away.”
“If the right decisions are made,” she said busting through the doorway, “he will forgive you. I thought you should know that. You may now return to your regularly scheduled make-out session.” She curtsied like she had just given the performance of a lifetime and walked out the door closing it behind her.
I laughed while Edward growled at her for killing the mood. I thought about what she said: ‘the right decisions’. I wondered what they were or what they could be. But more of me wondered who just made what decision, and what about that decision could cause her to have that vision.
- His Heroine
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