A B.A. in BS
Dear Edward, I have finally gotten over you No, that won’t work. Dear Edward, It’s been 3 years now. You never returned. At least you could keep ½ of your promise; I never saw you again, but the whole thing about life being as if you never existed is a large heaping load of horse sh— GAH! How do you tell your high school sweetheart, the man you stole your heart never to return it, the man who obsessed over keeping you safe, the man who left you broken in a forest because he did not love you anymore…how do you tell him that that you are finally over him and moving on, kinda-sorta. How do you tell him if he’s moved away with his family and you have no way to contact him? You write his sister’s husband, that’s how! What happens if Edward really never returned and Bella went on with her life? What happens if she was able to get over Edward, leave Forks, go to college, and make a life of her own? Would his heart break if he knew she was over him and could surive without him? Would she ever see him again? What about is family-could she really live with out her best friend, forever? What about the wolves? Jake? And oh, dear....what about Victoria?? This story takes place after Edward left. Bella was too much "into" herself (her depression was too strong) that she never did any of the extreme sports, never jumped off the cliff therefore leaving on reason for Alice to come back or for them to go to Volterra. This should be interesting. (BTW the title essentially means ABachelor of Arts inBull Sh--) FAIR WARNING: THERE IS SOME OOC ACTIVITY (Out Of Character) Also, there's some senuality coming up so be prepared :-) I have this "book" finished and the second "book" started and hopefully finished by the end of my holiday vacation. Thank you for allowing me creative license with what's in my head which will soon be on "paper".This Story is rated ADULT for language, future fight scenes, and sensuality. I just wrote a scene in one of the chapters that warranted a change in rating, sorry.Updat: this book is finished-on to the next!
You guys rock and I hope you'll fogive my months-long absence. School owned me for a while. I have a total of 23 chapters in this book and two more "books" after this. I hope you all enjoy!
8. Chapter 8
Rating 5/5 Word Count 2839 Review this Chapter
I grudgingly looked at my phone as the alarm screamed GET UP at me. Minus my “scare” last night, I slept soundly. That has been a relatively normal occurrence over the past years. My dreams used to be filled with visions of wolves, red eyes, and his voice telling me he did not want me anymore.
But after a few years, they just faded away. It wasn’t that they did not happen anymore, they just became fuzzy. It’s like my mind was compensating for my sanity by taking away what hurt me or scared me the most. I guess Esme could be right; my mind is stronger than I thought. I had spent months doing nothing. I went to school, came home, did homework, worked on the days scheduled…and that was about it, with exception to the days that I went to the meadow. Those only happened after a very long time.
I spent months in my mother’s rocking chair looking out the window. I was not sure what I was looking for, but I just sat there for hours, for days, for months. Charlie wanted me to see a psychiatrist but I refused. I asked him if he would randomly go up to a stranger and tell them his problems. He expressed his understanding, but his next sentence served the purpose to tell me that I could talk to my mother. I love Renee, but I was always more of an adult that she was. I gave him a very criticizing look. He shied away, and told me he just wanted to see me get better and smile again.
At that time, the only way to get better, for Charlie’s sake, was to see him again. To have him back in my world would make me whole. I couldn’t deny and won’t deny that it was selfish as well, but I couldn’t bear to let Charlie see me like that anymore. So, I forced myself out of it. I came out of the cold, hard, dark cave into the light. That’s when I started to going the meadow. I had gone there one time before Laurent and Victoria…and then the wolves showed up.
I started to spend more time with the pack. They became my band of brothers and Sam’s fiancée, Emily became my sister, although she was no Alice. She was so sweet and kind with me, but I could tell she had sorrow and pity in her eyes for me. I ignored it. They kept me out of that dark place and it became routine stationary-the light became my home again. It brought happiness back to Charlie, enhanced my friendship with Angela and Jessica, even if I didn’t quite understand my reasons behind that last friendship, and gave me stability again. It brought me here-places where I could venture out on my own and break ties to start anew. Except I didn’t quite break ties yesterday, did I?
I sighed and got up to get ready for class. I had an English Lit class in an hour. After a short, hot shower I came back to my room, got dressed and wrote a short e-mail addressed to my parents letting them know I was settled in and adjusting. It took all summer to train Charlie how to use e-mail-hell to use a computer.
Once I finally had him used to it, I told him that he could keep my computer and I’d just use the ones in the dorm. The PC was just too large, and old, to travel on an airplane. Little did I know he was saving money up for college my whole life. I apparently had quite the college fund waiting for me and since I had a scholarship to both schools, there was no reason to use it. He revealed it’s existence when I came home one afternoon from work and found a huge box wrapped in pink (ugh) paper with a large pink (ugh) bow. I unwrapped it and found a ridiculously expensive laptop. He had this proud smirk on his face and told me I deserved it. I thanked him and he smiled wider.
“You’re that proud of your purchase?”
“Nope. I’m proud of you and you have enough money that you won’t have to work while you’re out there. “
“Dad, I’m good at saving money, but it’s not that much.”
“Bells, I have been saving for your college since you were born. You won’t have to work or want for anything while you’re out there. You can study abroad, come home for the holidays-all of them, or buy yourself a room full of books, whatever you want. I’m just glad you can focus on your education instead of money.”
“Dad!” I whispered astonished.
“Well, time for work. I’ll be at the station 'til morning. Call me if you need anything.”
I wrapped my arms tightly around him, showing him rather than telling him my gratitude. I pulled back so he could grab his utility belt and jacket. “Be safe dad.”
With a nod he was out the door saying, “Always am.”
After the update e-mail to my parents, I left for class. I was putting my keys into the front pocket of my backpack as I went down a flight of stairs and was not paying attention to where I was going. I ran into a girl and she dropped everything out of her bag. I bent down to help her.
“I am so sorry!”
“It’s ok. It’s the first week. I’m pretty used to it.” She chuckled. She was a short blonde with blue eyes and a casual look about her. She looked young, but had a very mature and warm look about her. After we got the mess cleaned up we both stood up. I held my hand out to her, “Hi, I’m Bella the klutz. I live on the 2nd floor.”
She laughed light-heartedly. “Hi Bella I’m Jane, 3rd floor.” She put her hand out to mine and we shook.
“I’m sorry to hit and run, but I have to get to English Lit.”
“It’s ok, I understand. If nothing else, I know where you live.” She smiled and I laughed.
I went down the 2nd set of stairs to the first floor and pushed on a door that said pull. Someone walked into the door from the opposite side and I got knocked in the head. That was going to leave a mark. What a way to start the morning. After English Lit, I had a break of about 2 hours before my next class. I tried to read, but couldn’t concentrate. My mind was wandering. I needed to talk to someone who could give me an objective opinion and not criticize me. I needed Esme.
I almost ran over to her office hoping that I had remembered her office hours correctly from the syllabus. I was relieved to see her door open and her lights on, even if she didn’t need them. I had no doubt she was fitting into her human costume by having her lights on during such a cloudy morning. I was walking towards her door and put my hand up to knock on it when I was startled that it opened from the other side. Esme’s acute vampire hearing no doubt. Or so I thought.
Shit, not another one.
Esme POV-Rewinding back to where we left her: being scrutinized under the watchful eye of her family…
“Look kids,” I sighed heavily although it was not necessary, “you know I am not one to keep secrets. But there are thing going on right now that I have promised not to reveal any information about. I would expect you to keep your word if you were in my place, so I know you will not ask me to violate the confidence that has been put in me. When it is time for you to be aware, I am sure you will be.”
Carlisle stood up and walked over to me wrapping his arm around my waist. “Esme’s right. When the time is appropriate, she will give you the information you desire. She trusts you, so please trust her.”
“But I don’t understand, what does it…OH. Never mind.” It was hard to read Jasper’s face, but he was a little startled. He knew.
“What is it Jazz?” Emmett picked up on his end reaction. I was not doing Bella justice.
“Nothing Emmett. Just frustrated with my train of thought.” He turned to Alice and shot “wth” eyes to her. She shrugged.
Alice spoke up, “Can we just agree that when Esme can give us information she will and leave her alone until then? I don’t want our family at odds like this anymore. We have been doing it for too long.”I would have to thank Alice for that later. Then her eyes went blank. Another vision. It was quick and she was smiling and now so was Jasper.
“It’s going to rain tonight. And thunder.” She commented coyly.
“It’s about time! I’m ready for some action! Oh, but Esme, Carlisle, are you sure you can handle any more action today?” He fell to the floor laughing after Rose pushed him off the couch.
“Alright Emmett, that’s enough. How long do we have Alice,” I asked acting quickly to change the subject.
“About 30 minutes.”
“Right then. Can I suggest a battle of the sexes; girls vs. boys?”
“You’re on!” rumbled from Emmett still on the floor.
After the game, where the girls won 10-9 thanks to Rosalie hitting a ball off her husband’s head allowing Alice to score, it was just a normal quiet evening at home. The kids went hunting, Carlisle left for the hospital where he where he volunteered to be the night ER Attending, and I finished my lesson plans for my classes this semester. I had to remind myself that these were human children who could only hold so much information and only learn so much in a small amount of time.
While completing my lesson plans, my mind kept returning to my conversation with Bella. As much as I have been so thankful for seeing her and having her back, I wondered if it was in her best interests. I knew deep down it was not my choice, but I would give my life to ensure her happiness and I couldn’t help but consider that having a relationship with us would only lead directly her right back to heartbreak and harm.
Point in fact, I promised her that no one would know about our relationship and here we were-Alice is fully aware and the rest of my family is suspicious. I felt a pang in my heart for having to keep this from them when I knew it would only bring them happiness and that I was lying by omission.
I could hear that the children returned by what sounded like my son’s bodies colliding together.. They better not damage my…
“Your roses are fine Esme!”
“Thank you Alice!”
“Emmett! Jasper! You are total cavemen.” Oh Rosalie. My sons were nothing if not court jesters.
“Emmett! Watch out!”
I assumed that was my roses.
“Emmett, you are a disaster waiting to happen!” Alice’s voice hasn’t gotten that loud in a long time.
“You’re the one who couldn’t see it coming! Don’t blame me.”
“I know I did not just hear the distinct noise of one of my Oak trees being bashed against one of my children BY one of my children,” I spoke loud enough for someone to hear me.
“No, Emmett! Don’t!”
I didn’t know what Alice was screaming about, nor did I want to. I closed my eyes as I set down my pen and attempted to tuned them out.
“Bella, you are the sanest one out of all my children and I’m so thankful that you reminded me of that today,” I quietly whispered to myself.
“I came up here to tell you sorry, but what I’m more interested in is that you’ve seen little sis?”
My eyes popped wide open.
I looked at him with a snarl on my lips. “Emmett, don’t you say a word. Do you hear me?”
“So is that what all that stuff was about earlier?”
“You know I cannot say.”
“But you just said that she reminded you that she’s the sanest of us all.”
“I am aware of what I just said.”
“Esme,” he went from feverently excited to somewhat somber, “is she ok?” It was true; our whole family cared about her more than she knew.
“I cannot say Em.”
“Then blink-one for yes and two for no?” He was getting sneaky.
I blinked one eyes in a flash. I had not given away information; I just simply had a human moment I reassured myself in my mind. He bounded out of my office and back out to the kids and started wrestling again. Seconds later, Alice was there.
“He’s planning something. His future keeps changing and I think he’s making different choices just to keep me from stopping him.”
“Just keep an eye out for him and let me know what he finally chooses and if we can stop him, Alice. Does Jasper know?”
“He’s put it together. He was trying to figure out what all our emotions and secrecy had to do with Edward. You saw when he put it all together. He won’t say a word. He knows better and he doesn’t want to face the wrath of his wife.
“What was that vision you had earlier that had you all in smiles?”
“Oh nothing, I just had a few ideas on how to decorate the spare bedroom next to Edward’s,” she giggled and turned round to leave but stopped before she was out the doorframe and turned around.
“I see myself coming by your office tomorrow at 11 with bags in hand!” There was sheer excitement in her voice.
“Alice, are you sure?”
“100%. Oh, and wear that new pink silk blouse tomorrow with the brown gauchos and the brown strappy Manolos with the chunky heel. If you wear the blue one, the department head will hit on you, again, even though he is clearly aware that you are married.” She left for her room and I could hear her rustling through the shopping bags from this afternoon.
The rest of the night was without incident, thankfully.
I left for class before the rest of my family the next morning. On the way to the university, I phoned Carlisle to make him aware of last night’s events and what Alice saw for today. He was worried, but trusted in Alice’s visions as we all did.
I glanced at my watch, 10:43. 17 minutes and Alice would be here and so would our beautiful Bella. I busied myself by becoming familiar with my TA’s student profiles make sure to read them slowly in case someone walked by.
“Hey, mom!” That was not the high pixie voice or sweet, honeysuckle scent I was expecting.
“Emmett, what are you doing here dear?”
“What? Not happy to see your favorite son?”
“No,” I pushed away from my desk and saw him leaning on the door frame. He squeezed through and took one of the seats in front of my desk, “of course I am happy to see you Emmett and I have three favorite sons. Be careful with that chair, son. It’s antique and it’s —“
“I know, one of your favorites.” The smugness of my son radiated off him in waves.
“What do I owe this pleasure?”
“Oh, no reason, no reason at all.”
“Emmett,” I was stern with him.
“C’mon. It’s not like someone didn’t see this coming!”
“Actually I’m surprised she’s not here to stop you.”
“I just made the decision, and she’s in class,” he beamed with pride for having outwit Alice.
“You know she is going to hurt you Em.”
“I know, but this so totally worth it.”
“Just leave my roses—,” he held his hand up to stop me.
“Hold that thought, he whispered as he got up and whipped the door open startling someone to the point that their heart jumped a few beats and started pumping faster. They inhaled and exhaled quickly and didn’t move. I was hit with the scent wafting through the door.
- His Heroine
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