Edward leaves Bella but stays in Forks. Bella turns to his best friend, Jacob, for the happiness that she always finds in him. After a time, though, Bella is confused with her feelings for Edward and Jacob. When Jacob and Bella are finally together surpassing all the pain and trials they had, they face another problem. A new pack comes along and claims that there has been a personal violation between one of the new pack's members and Jacob himself. Jacob and Bella are yet again faced with another challenge that, this time, cannot be solved that easily. It's life-threatening.
4. No Explanation
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It's been weeks. And I've been noticing so much lately. Most of them were changes. It was a) Jacob acting so weird around me lately (he would stare into my eyes, I couldn't understand why) b) Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley were two perfect idiots now. I was positive that I also didn't know why and; c) I think I could already name that emotion that was growing inside of me.
Jacob has been pretty weird. It didn't freak me out, to my surprise. He's been doing a lot of more-than-friendly stuff for me. And I was. . .crying over Edward.
Every night I had been crying for him. Longing for him to come back to me. I never let go of him because every minute of my life, I had only been thinking of my memories with him. And I couldn't ask for more. I never really understood as to why I never got over him. I once believed that when teenage girls would fall in love and they got their hearts broken, they would get over them in a matter of days. Sometimes even in a few hours.
I was wondering, why this wasn’t happening to me. I'm living in a very dark place, and there was no light to guide my path. It was midnight and there were no stars to ever let me see anything. I felt incomplete. Edward was….like the sun to me. I would always feel his warmth no matter how cold a vampire he was.
"Bella, are you okay?" Jacob asked. He was staring into my eyes again.
"Uhm. Yeah. I was just. . .thinking." my eyes wandered off somewhere, and then they placed on a cold figure. Edward.
He was staring at me with devilish eyes. He looked at me with hate. I did not know on what face I have projected towards him, but I was sure that I was presenting something horrible. Or distasteful. Or horrid. Or languid.
Edward looked like the same as he was since the first time I saw him. Devilish, hateful eyes. Like I was the cause of everything and not him. Tears fell down my eyes, and his became full of sorrow. I looked away and my face hit Jacob's chest. He held me and pulled my chin up so I could face him.
"I'm sorry." I managed to blurt out. I was forcing myself to look down, but I couldn't.
"Are you okay?" He wiped away the tear with his warm hand.
"Yeah. Uhm, let's go." I pulled his arm towards my truck.
More tears rolled down my cheek. I didn't think it was that good.
"Do you mind if I drive?" Jacob asked. A furrow now buried in his forehead.
"Stop crying. Please." His furrow has grown deeper and it already looked like it was carved.
"I'll do my best." And I let out a forceful smile.
He laughed at my action and it made me laugh too. But I guess there was still pain hiding after I saw Edward's eyes fill with so much sorrow. I couldn't let go of him, his being was too much for me to control. He was my drug. My personal brand of heroine.
You are such an idiot, you know that Bella? My other Bella, wow. She was here, again.
Why should I be an idiot?
Because you are in love with a vampire, and you still haven't gotten over him.
Why should you care?
Because I am your other half.
No you're not.
Yes, I am. And get over him. You could've died any minute, you know that?
Well, I don't care.
"I barely wanted to take my life away, nonetheless." I blurted out. Not even thinking.
"What?" He was now enraged.
"Jacob, woah, are you alright?" His hands were shaking. When I looked up, his eyes were closed and he was trying so hard to push away the madness that was forming in him.
"No, I am not. Not when you're telling me that you want to hurt yourself."
"I wasn’t talking to you and I wish you knew how bad this cut me. Really."
"Bella, don't take yourself away from me." He looked so disappointed, I've made enough trouble for one day and I still hurt Jacob Black.
"Take myself away from you? Excuse me? Jake, you alright?" He ignored my question by responding this way: "Bella, I want to be with you. But surprisingly, I don't know how to ask you for it. In all possibilities I don't know how—"
"Shh. Jake?" I cut him off, he used his serious tone on me. He never did, unless he wanted to tell me something seriously.
"Hmmm? Belllm, mm cnnntt suuuyy eeeennnnyythhng." Bella, I can't say anything.
"Sorry." I pulled my finger away from his lips. "I say that it's alright."
"Thank you Bella." He reached out and kissed my cheek.
And at that instant, I saw Edward staring at our direction. Crap. He was watching us. He look very very angered, and then entered north for the thick forest. Jacob disregarded it because he thought that it was simply jealousy.
But for me, it was different. Edward's jealousy gave a different meaning. A hopeful one.
Bella, snap out of it. She said with her voice being helpful.
Oh good Lord, Bella.You just agreed with Jacob. That he could court you, I mean.
Oh crap! I forgot. Thank you . . Bells. I owe you one, even if you are crazily annoying.
Well, I did hope that I would be useful someday. She laughed at that and then left.
We rolled down our windows because today was a sunny day. Jacob and I wanted the smell of a sunny day here in Forks. When we were near the exit, we heard a crashing sound in the forest. Like a very big tree being pushed all the way down to the ground.
The school grounds were out of our sight before we knew it. Headed to my house to see Charlie, my heart suddenly fluttered because of Jacob.
"Charlie, Billy wanted to say hi. And he wants to know if you'd like to go fishing tomorrow." Jacob said.
"Sure thing, kiddo." That was new. Kiddo. He never called anyone kiddo. He must be growing that attached to Jacob. Not that he really hasn't. He's been seeing Jacob since, I dunno, I was born? But then again, I was older than Jacob, so. . .
I got off track. Distracted as I was, I couldn’t even remember what I was thinking about.
"Great. Thanks Charlie. Do you mind if I watch the game with you?"
"Yeah sure, as long as it's okay with Bella. Bells?"
"What? Oh. Sure." He made me walk out of my reverie. I'd been staring at the window during their conversation. Edward.
Jacob and Charlie walked with their arms over each others shoulders. That was completely relaxing, and I had no idea why. I laughed at myself, pointlessly. I didn't want to cook dinner for now, so I just ordered pizza. Maybe it would give those boys a piece of their mind.
I went up my room and grabbed that iPod that Renee had sent me. She told me that it was for my hard work. I turned the music so high that it hurts my ears—something that I haven't done in quite a while. I was thinking of every thing in the world except for Edward. Edward seemed to be a saddening thought.
I felt moisture fall on my cheeks, I wiped it and knew it were tears.
"Edward, how could you?"
It was all that I could ever mutter. I never blamed Edward for anything, but it was completely pointless if I never did. I closed my eyes and the flashback started. I was hoping that this wasn't sleep reigning me over.
"Hello," he said "I am Edward Cullen."
That was the only flashback that I could ever think of. That was the only line that I wish I've never heard. That was the only line that shouldn't have taken away my sanity for the world.
It hurt me inside, knowing that Edward was really gone. It was too stupid of me to even think that he'll come up to me and tell me to come back to him. That was impossible. Very endlessly impossible.
I waited for sleep to seep in. When I knew it did, I never bothered to wake up. My dreams seemed like a drug to me now, because it was about Edward and me which talked about fantasy. This felt so real that I wanted to open my eyes and see if it was real. But when I tried to let my eyes flutter, it left me hanging.
"Bella, please. Don't cry." Edward was holding me in his arms or it felt like it. His expression was so horrible to look at. He was hurt.
"I don't want you to go! Tell me why you left! TELL ME!" I was unbelievably enraged.
"Bella, I can't." He pushed me further into his arms, but I refused it.
"Then go! I don't…" Tears fell down my cheeks. More of them. I can't stand this anymore. I can't do this.
I pushed Edward away and saw his eyes filled with agony. And then it grew red, he looked like he wasn’t in control of himself.
No. This is bad. This is really bad.
"Bella.." He groaned and then he launched himself at me.
Before I was able to scream, something hot pulled me out of the way and let me into its arms. It hugged me lovingly and then pushed me to its back, protecting me. Jacob. He saved me.
"Shh. I'll protect you, Bella." He said soothingly as he caressed my hair.
"How pathetic can a dog be?" Edward huffed.
"Shut up, bloodsucker. You look highly of yourself." Jacob let out a howl. Was he going to fight Edward?
"Please! Don't fight." I begged both of them. They both looked at me with angry eyes.
"How can you stay with a dog!?" Edward screamed.
"How can you stay with the dead?!" Jacob screamed.
I cowered into the corner of the room, I closed my eyes. I was still crying. I heard the scowling of Edward and Jacob. They were hurting each other, and I did nothing to stop them. This again, my fault. I screamed aloud. When I opened my eyes, I was lying on my back, and Jacob was staring at me—worried.
"Bella? Are you alright?" he was seriously worried. I looked at the clock and it was three in the morning. Beads of sweat covered my forehead, my neck, and even my entire body.
"Jacob," I said in a husky tone. "what are you doing here?" I got myself in check. He had obligations here. And here he was, staying until three in the morning.
"I know Bella," he held my hand. "but you were screaming. I got worried."
"But how did you get here?"
"Oh, that." he laughed "Charlie let me stay for the night when he realized that it was completely late when the game ended."
"Was that okay for Billy?" He wiped away the tear in my eye.
"Yeah. Charlie asked him. And I was running patrol, too. So I haven’t been around." he laughed "Bella, got some sleep."
Jacob kissed my forehead and then stayed on the floor, holding my hand. I slept with his hand in mine, and I forgot my worries and my nightmare.