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Searching for You

Searching For You Banner Edward left Bella almost a year ago. Alice sees Bella in a video that was clearly shot in the Cullen’s home in Forks. OH MY! What will Edward say when he sees her playing his piano, sparkling and who’s the mysterious man?


3. Questions

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Chapter 3: Questions


Gradually, I shuffle my way down the stairs. I don’t even have it in me to jump out her window. As I approach her back door I allow myself one last look around. Locking the door behind me I turn and pace little by little and disappear into the greenery.

Off in the distance I hear a familiar sound. Hardly, now I know I must be going crazy. My mind must be playing tricks on me. I pause for the briefest second and really listen. Jolting my body upright I spin on my heels. I would know that sound anywhere. That decrepit rumble can only come from one source…Bella’s truck.

Pausing close to the edge of the trees I notice it rounding the bend. As it makes its way into the driveway I notice one thing, that’s not Bella getting out of the truck. Where do I know him from? Slamming the door and cursing under his breath he begins to pop the hood. Dark hair, dark skin, oh no it can’t be. Yep. It’s Jacob Black. His mind is so full of frustration. He stops briefly and glances in my direction. He’s grown like a lot. That can only mean one thing…his transformation is complete.

He knows I’m here. Well, he knows one of my kind is here but not me specifically. He steps towards my location and glares. I find myself so lost in trying to sort out what to say if he were approach me. I didn’t hear the vehicle roar to a halt next to the sidewalk. Jacob whips his head towards the motorcycle. Breathing in I notice a very familiar scent, a fragrance that still calls my body to life. I freeze every inch of my being stops as I take in the scene before me. What the HELL is she doing on a motorcycle?

Masterfully, she pops the kick stand out and props the black, Ninja zx6r into place. Jacob runs to assist her but she’s parked it before he even makes it to her side. Swinging her leg over the bike, she’s clothed in black leather pants and a black leather riding jacket, with black riding boots to match. I smirk thinking how proud Alice would be of her attire. Removing the black and silver helmet her hair rolls down her back. Another strong wave of her smell overtakes me as the wind blows in my direction. I welcome the flames that roll and clench up my throat. A burn I’ve not felt in a long time.

She places the helmet on the bike and unzips her jacket just enough to see the red tank top peek through. She’s truly a vision to behold. My trance is interrupted, bombarded by crude thoughts coming from Jacob. He’s still glaring towards me.

Bella mumbles, “Jake, what’s up with you?”

His stature mimics a statue as a rumble rips through his chest. He looks as if he’s preparing for battle. Not wanting to make my presence known I debate leaving. Jacob’s thoughts ring loud and clear, “CULLEN! If that’s you stay away!”

Bella grabs his arm and forces him to look at her. “Jake you’re scaring me. What’s wrong? What do you see?”

Peeking down at her he shakes his head. “Nothing! It’s nothing.”

“Well if it’s nothing why are you trembling and stiff?”

“You want to know what’s wrong Bella? I can’t believe you called me to come there of all places. Why would you do that? I understand I promised you if you ever needed anything I would be there for you but that was just way outta line!”

Who does he think he is talking to her that way? So this is what it’s come to? Bella calling on a dog when she needs something and then have to listen to him complain about where he had to go to help her. The tree my fist clutches snaps.

Smacking her hand against his chest, she begins to shout. “What did you want me to do call a tow truck and have it hauled off to the junk yard? It’s not my fault it wouldn’t start this morning. I had no other options.”

“No other options? How about staying at your REAL home with your real family for once? You have plenty of options Bella you just choose not to use them. I told you I would fix your truck and I will. But sooner or later you are going to have to talk to Charlie. You’ve not even been here in what over a month now? Would you be here now if it wasn’t for the fact that I refused to work on your truck THERE?”

“Jake whatever happens with me and Charlie is between me and Charlie. Butt out! You both are going to have to come to terms that this is the only way I know how to keep myself sane.”

Closing her eyes an shaking her head she speaks barely above a whisper. “Right now there is no life for me, only existing, Living is not an option.”

She stiffens, squares her shoulders, and glares at him. Her voice rings out filled with venom. “I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t expect you to understand. I know you want more from me right now but I have nothing to give. Everything I had left months ago and I’m just trying to cope without it.”

“Bella I know what he did to you. I would never ever hurt you. I just don’t understand why you continue to torture yourself day in and day out. Please never ask me to go back there. I just can’t.”

“I won’t ask anything of you anymore. In fact the shoot tomorrow, don’t bother to show up.” Bella spins on her heels and makes her way back onto her bike. Jacob grabs her helmet as agony fills his eyes.

Jacob grabs her helmet as agony fills his eyes. Furry coats every word he speaks. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re still going to go through with this? After what happened last time? Do you have a death wish or have you gone completely mad?”

“I’m a big girl Jacob I can take care of myself. I was just fine last time and I will be just as well tomorrow. I mean it don’t bother talking me out of it! I refuse to let someone else do it for me. Threatening to tell Charlie won’t change my mind either.”

“Can’t you just go to the studio in California and let them cg it in. Please don’t do this. You would’ve gotten yourself killed if I had not been there the last time. I don’t understand why you force yourself to stay here. You won’t even leave for interviews, concerts, or anything!” He pauses. Looks at her regret fills his face as he voices his opinion. “Bella, Edward’s not coming back!”

She flinches as soon as he uttered my name. Rage is the only thing that can be seen in her features. She snatches her helmet out of his grasp and slaps it in place. Without a word she kicks brings the bike to life.

Remorse falls upon his face. “Come on Bells don’t be like this. You know I told Charlie I’d look after you.”

Pulling on the throttle, the bike roars. Bella yells out, “What I can’t hear you. See you later Jake.” She spins the tires and leaves him standing in a cloud of dust.

Immediately, keeping near to the forest edge I follow her. There’s no way I’m going to let her out of my sight. Not when she’s on the back of a deathtrap. Riding while she’s upset? Does she not value her life at all? Her promise! Does it not mean anything to her? I have no idea what the exchange between Bella and Jacob was about. For one thing I am absolutely certain, I have to find out.

She’s just on the outside of town when I’m prompted of the direction she’s taken. Why would she go this way? I have to admit for someone so small; she’s pretty good on a bike. Why does she have it in the first place? I thought her father hated them. I’ve got half a mind to leap out and grab onto the stupid thing and pull her into the safety of my arms.

Come on Edward get a grip. You don’t want her to know you’re here. You’re just checking up on her. Once you have your answers you’ll be able to move on. The battle within me continues to rage while I’m trying to come up with new ideas and reasons to justify my presence.

Comprehension begins to take place as she slows to make a left turn. How, why, when, I can’t even form an entire thought as she makes her way up the curvy drive. Upon reaching the top she slows almost to a stop and pulls a small remote out of her pocket. Aiming it at the garage she rolls her motorcycle into place as the doors close behind her. Where did she get that?

Fully aware that she’s made her way into the house, I take heed to her voice. She must be on the phone because I can only make out her end of the conversation.

“Yes, I’ll be ready in the morning. I’m aware of the risk and I’ve already signed the waiver with my agent. I know what I’m doing. I’ve done this before. It’s not a big deal. I have no idea why everyone is so riled up? I understand. However, this is my video and if you want my song and my voice then we do this my way. Great, sounds good. No, I am most certainly not afraid. Yes, I will do my best to sleep tonight. I don’t think that’s necessary. It wouldn’t make things easier if you knew where I am. I like my privacy. I understand your concern. Please respect my wishes. Under no circumstances is anyone to discover where I am. If my location ever becomes public knowledge then the contract becomes void. You know this. Thank you. I know we only have one chance to get it right. I promise to get some rest. I will see you on set. Bye.”

Making myself comfortable, I shift and relax beneath one of the massive trees that crowd the property. Noting the steps she makes within the house I can picture her exact location. The battle within me calms just enough for me to find a small fraction of peace.

She’s safe. In an instant she could be in my arms if danger were to arrive. Swiftly, she pads up both flights of stairs. A few moments later running water and a smile plays with my lips. She’s taking a bath in my bathroom. It’s the only one on the third floor.

Contemplating I lose the battle within and scale up the tree. Making sure to keep in the shadows I give in and allow myself to really look at her. She’s absolutely breath taking. My breath is taken from me as I gaze at her in my tub with bubbles covering every inch of her body. Long brown mahogany hair is piled high in a makeshift bun on top of her head. Closed eyes are bordered with dark circles. Her cheeks are sunk in a little farther than normal. Her once plump pink lips are dull and lifeless. Pale, almost transparent skin barely seems to cover her face. There’s not even a hint of the beautiful blush that use to consistently remain on her face. She seems to be a hollow shell of the Bella I love so much.

Forcing my eyes to close I can’t help but wonder what has happened to cause this much pain? Why is she staying here of all places? And why is she all alone? This was not supposed to happen. Not like this. This is not how her life should be. She doesn’t deserve this. WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Rage, fury, and turmoil begin to stir within me. Hatred turns and mocks me as I loath myself for leaving her. Glancing back I see tears streaming down her face. She sighs and makes her way to get out of the bath. Gripping my hair in anger, I begin to tearlessly sob for the woman who’s making her way into my room.

My sobbing dissipates as I’m brought back to my senses by the sound of one voice. “Do you like what you see?”