Searching for You
Edward left Bella almost a year ago. Alice sees Bella in a video that was clearly shot in the Cullen’s home in Forks. OH MY! What will Edward say when he sees her playing his piano, sparkling and who’s the mysterious man?
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Chapter 4: Confrontation
“CULLEN! I ask you a question? DO. YOU. LIKE. WHAT. YOU. SEE?” Jacob’s thoughts are hard, cold, and deadly. Truthfully, this was the last thing I needed right now. However, I knew at some point we would have to come face to face. Pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration I try to calm the tension rolling over my muscles.
“HEY! We need to talk! You and I need to have a little chat. I’m not leaving until you come down.” His nagging and ranting is beginning to get very annoying. The next thing I know he begins to demand and threaten in his thoughts. His mental voice is even louder than his spoken voice, if that’s even possible?
Opening my eyes I see the most beautiful angel sitting on my bed as if she’s lost in a world all her own. As much as I hate to leave her, I really don’t have a choice. Seconds later I leap to the ground and mumble for Jacob to meet me at the river. It was far enough away Bella wouldn’t be able to hear and yet close enough for me to still be able to hear her heartbeat. I refuse to be away from that mesmerizing rhythm any longer.
Reaching the river’s edge my nose inhales the most horrific scent known to our kind. Jacob’s pacing on the other side of the river. He stops immediately. Standing with his feet shoulder width apart, fist by his side, his head is lowered and he’s staring at me with rage filled black eyes. Watching him I can detect he’s trying to keep his anger at bay. His thoughts are clouded with just as much fury as it radiates over his body. Closing his eyes he takes a few deep breaths and slightly calms himself. His body’s position never changes.
“You didn’t answer my question.” He voice is calm but guarded. “Did you like what you saw? What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were gone for good. I guess leaving didn’t destroy her enough so you thought you’d come back and finish the job.” Knowing he’s no where near finished I just bide my time until he gets all he needs to say out. “How dare you! How dare you show your face anywhere near her? You don’t even deserve to be in the same state as her. I hope you got a good look at her. Did you notice the dark circles under her eyes from her nightmares? Did you see how much weight she’s lost because she’s not eating? How about the way her skin has paled from lack of nutrition? Better yet, did you see her eyes? Did you take note of her eyes? They are completely lifeless!!! They’re lifeless because of you! Give me one good reason I shouldn’t tear your head off and rip you into shreds right now!” Murder coats his thoughts. Every muscle in his body can be seen trembling. “Answer me you good for nothing, low life, filthy piece of shit blood-sucker.”
Showing him I mean no harm I relax my position. My voice is shaky and cracks as I reply to his demand. “Your right! You have every right to want to kill me where I stand. I wouldn’t be put out if you choose to deliver me to death in this very instant. You have every right, besides the obvious, to hate me. But, I tell you the truth Jacob not even you can detest me more than
I despise myself at this moment. Death right now would be a welcome sentence than to live remembering the evidence of pain that I’ve caused her.” Tearlessly weeping I fall to my knees before my natural enemy.
His stance falters as his face turns up in confusion. I begin to answer his unspoken question. “Why?”
“She was supposed to move on and be happy. Have a normal human life. She’s human she’s supposed to forget. I left her because I wanted to protect her from my kind. Protect her from what I am. Don’t you see? I deserve to be put out of my misery because I couldn’t protect her. Not only did I fail, but my promise to her is broken. Oh! What have I done? I promised her it would be as if I never existed.” Clenching my hair, silently screaming out in frustration, my chest feels as if it’s split into.
Before I realize what’s happening my back takes down a large spruce tree. Jacob’s towering figure glares down at me. “Get Up!” Continuing to lay on the round I refuse to fight. Life isn’t worth living if she’s going to suffer because of my choices. “Cullen, get up and fight!”
Kneeling before him once again I speak barely above a whisper. “No. I refuse to fight you Jacob Black. If this is how her life is going to be because of the decisions I’ve made then death is far better that I deserve.”
Preparing to execute his wrath, Jacob draws his fist over his head. Mid-swing he pauses as we both are jolted by a blood hurdling scream.
We eye each other and bolt towards the house. Jacob’s thoughts stop me in my tracks. “Don’t move.” Not wanting to inform Bella of my presence, or my desire for Jacob to finish what he started, I do exactly as he asks.
Jacob leaps into the window and sweeps Bella into his arms. She’s crying out for me and begging me not to leave her. I grab my shoulders and try my best to hold myself together. Jacob cuddles her and rocks her to and fro until she’s some what in a calmer state. She asks him why he was there and he simply says he was running near by and heard her scream. She’s just repeating the fact that she can’t understand why she’s not good enough and doesn’t comprehend why I don’t love her anymore.
After a few moments of silence Jacob pulls her away. “Bella what would you do if he ever came back?” Every limb on my body stiffens as I long to hear her answer. But it never comes. Jacob looks out at me and mentally speaks that she’s falling back to sleep. He lays her back down and pulls the covers all around her. Leaping out the window he strides towards the river.
Promptly, I follow behind. He hesitates at the edge of the water. Turning to face me he stills. He stares at me almost as if he’s searching for something. His thoughts inform me that he’s torn, debating. He wants to believe I left Bella for her own safety, but isn’t sure if he should trust me.
Finally, he sees the worn look on my face. I can see myself through his mind and how he perceives my appearance. He begins to examine my ebony eyes that are filled with repulsion and agony. Dark charcoal bruises coating my upper cheeks due to my lack of feeding. My attire’s worn and ragged because I have neglected to care about how I look. Pallid and white-washed skin that covers my body appears as if it’s aged if that were possible.
Jacob mentally takes inventory of everything standing before him as he calculates his thoughts. He thinks I appear defeated, haggard, and dejected as if I am already in the pits of despair. I verbally respond to his mental assessment, “You have no idea.”
He seems to have come to a conclusion after he’s looked at me. He waivers slightly, but makes the decision. I don’t resemble anything to the confident, cocky, fearless creature I portrayed to be several months ago. Being brought to this assumption he struggles with himself. He wants to destroy me for so many reasons not to mention that it’s his natural instant. Part of him wants to give me a chance to make it right. The only reason he wants to even attempt to let me live is because of his love for Bella.
In his mind I can see how deeply he cares for her. It’s not even a small portion to the way I feel about her, but in his own way he does love her. Verbally announcing his final choice he murmurs, “I can’t. I simply can not find it within myself to destroy you. If she found out that you died by my hands she would never forgive me. No matter how much I despise you or how much it would appease me to take you out. I’d be sabotaging myself because she would hate me for destroying you. I will not be the one to bring her anymore pain. She has suffered enough and taking your life would only destroy the rest of hers. I won’t do that to her.”
Glancing at him I can understand where he’s coming from. Under no circumstances could I ever bring myself to harm Jacob because I know he’s Bella’s friend. We stare at each other almost in an unspoken agreement. No matter how much we detest one another we can’t act upon our impulses.