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Lost Hope

Summary:
Bella has become depressed after Edward's untimely departure.


Notes:


1. Chapter 1: An Unfortunate Decision

Rating 5/5   Word Count 637   Review this Chapter

The heart wrenching pain of being alone, of losing the one I love, had become unbearable. Charlie seemed to have taken my depressed and distraught state as being suicidal and locked away all of the potential weapons in the house. I found myself wondering more and more if Edward would miss me, if he would even care if I died and I was tempted to taunt those emotions. Charlie had been putting in a lot of overtime at the station. I overheard him saying it kept him from seeing my hollowed out existence, my zombified life. His extra time away left me with more time to myself, cooped up alone and void of emotions with only thoughts as friends.

Since Jacob's absence, I felt empty. The velvety voices I so often heard were gone and so was my reason for living. I laid in bed an extra hour that morning, watching dazed as memories played across my closed eyes and a subconscious decision became clear. His godlike face and his dazzling smile flashing before me as if he were real. I snapped my eyes open, unwilling to see anymore. With blurring eyes and burning tears and ran downstairs to the kitchen, hunting for any knife that could possibly have been left out. A dark and devious smile spread across my face as I noticed Charlie had been in too big a rush that morning to do the dishes. I searched the sink and found what I was looking for, a glorious steak knife with a wooden handle and a gleaming sharp edge. He must have forgotten to wash it after dinner last night.

I dried the knife off and ran up to my room. I set the knife carefully on the desk and proceeded to scribble down a letter to Charlie, complete with date and signature. I picked the knife up and stared at it for a moment, contemplating myself and the final decision I was about to make. I felt the tears flowing down my face as I made myself comfortable on my bed. I took a deep breath, one of my last, and held the knife above my left wrist. I closed my eyes and pressed the tip of the knife against my skin. I winced as it sunk in and the blood began to seep out. I jerked my hand sideways and let my left hand fall to the bed, the two inch gash bleeding profusely. I gasped at the relief I seemed to feel and raised up my left hand to grasp the knife again.

My hand was shaking as I touched the tip against my right wrist. I laughed in defeat and broke the skin. I was only vaguely aware of a knocking on my window but it didn't interest me in the least. I made a two inch slit on my right wrist and threw my head back to laugh. A moment of regret washed over me as I thought of how Charlie and Renee would feel, but it was gone as the relief set in. My arm dropped, hanging slightly over the edge of the bed and the knife began to fall. All was silent and I relaxed.

I was startled by the crunching sound of breaking glass and a familiar growl. I opened my eyes wearily, I must be dead already. My angel stood, shocked before me, growling hungrily and staring at me with coal black eyes. I always thought I'd go to Hell for dating a Vampire, but it seemed I was in Heaven. Edward growled out my name and began to advance towards me, conflict plaguing his gaze. The sounds around me got fainter and fainter and my vision darkened. I felt an ice cold touch on my wrist before the darkness consumed me.