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Summary:
"Caius, surely you see the potential. I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?" - Aro Edward is gone. Jacob never came to Bella's room. She is alone. What happens when she goes to Italy for her senior class trip?


Notes:
This is my second fic and my first attempt at a multichaptered fic.


11. Chapter 11: Guilt

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1168   Review this Chapter

EPOV

I was curled up in a ball, lying in a filthy attic in some Brazilian ghetto apartment. The floor was dusted with dirt and covered in rat droppings. There were spider webs in the corners. Cockroaches and rodents were scurrying across the room, making sure to stay out of arms reach. I didn't care. There was no point in moving. There was no point in existing, not without my Bella.

"Bella," I sighed. I could see her deep brown eyes, her pale heart-shaped face, and her beautiful blush-stained cheeks. I could feel her warmth. I swear I could hear her heartbeat beckoning to me from a continent away. I could go back to see her one more time. She wouldn't have to know I was there. I could just check in on her, make sure she was safe, happy.

No. Stop it. I can't go back. I don't know if I would be strong enough to leave her again. I promised her. I promised I wouldn't come back. She needs to live a life free of the danger I pose. She needs to be safe, to be happy, to live, to grow and when the time comes to die. I can give her that if I stay away. I can endure the pain for her, for only her. And when her life is no more...

The pain that thought caused was unbearable. How could I stay away and let her die? The world would hold no meaning. My life or whatever this is would be over. Maybe Alice was right. Was it only a matter of time until I climbed through her window, begging her to take me back?

No. I can't be selfish. She deserves someone better than me, a monster. She deserves a life I could never give her. And then, I will follow her...

I was brought out of my own thoughts by the familiar tenor of my siblings standing out in the constant hum of thoughts I'd been ignoring. Alice, Jasper and Emmett were approaching. They were trying to hide their thoughts, but they had to think of something to block me and I could hear them.

They were here to force me to return to the family. What else could it be? That's why Emmett and Jasper were sent. They knew I would not come willingly. For the first time in weeks, I moved. Without even thinking about it, I was up and running. Why can't they leave me alone?

Alice saw me running. Edward stop.

I decided to ignore her. She saw that, too.

I stopped dead in my tracks as Alice remembered her vision. Bella. My beautiful Bella was strapped to a hospital bed. Her eyes flew open. They were the crimson eyes of a newborn.

Noooo! This is all my fault. How could I have been so stupid? I left her - left her to protect her, to protect her soul. But what I really did was leave her unprotected. How did I believe she could actually be safe? She was never safe, a danger magnet.

I lied to her for nothing. I caused her pain for nothing. I left her for nothing. My pain was for nothing. I refused to risk her soul, and now it is in jeopardy.

Right then, I promised myself I would not make the same stupid mistake again. Bella needed me. She needed me to protect her. I would never leave her side again. She would have to order me away. But first, I had to save her.

I turned and began running in the opposite direction, toward the airport, toward Bella, toward my love, my life. Dawn was breaking. I darted into the shade of the lush green rain forest. My siblings were a few paces behind me now.

Suddenly, I was hit with one of Alice's visions. We would make it to Forks just in time for Bella's funeral. I grabbed the closest thing to me. I uprooted a hundred-year-old tree and sent it flying, crashing and breaking.

I turned, glaring, consumed by rage. "ALICE!" I roared.

Jasper jumped in front of Alice. He was in the crouched position, prepared to defend his mate.

"It's too late Edward," she said.

"WHAT! HOW CAN IT BE TOO LATE?" I growled. Jasper's waves of calm were doing nothing for my anger.

I was too distracted to hear what Emmett was planning. He grabbed me, wrapping his large arms around me, pinning my arms at my side. Whoa, calm down, man. This is not her fault.

He was right. This was not her fault. They were all to blame. Snapping and snarling, I unsuccessfully struggled to free myself from Emmett's death grip. Emmett was stronger, and I was weak from not hunting. "WHY DIDN"T YOU SAVE HER? WHY DID YOU WASTE YOUR TIME COMING HERE? YOU COULD HAVE CALLED ME!"

Yeah, like you've been answering your phone, asshole.

Jasper growled. I'm warning you, Edward! You better stop yelling at my wife or I will rip your throat out!

"It was already too late."

"YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT SOONER!" I snapped.

Now, Alice was yelling, "YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOOK MY BEST FRIEND AWAY FROM ME! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME NOT TO LOOK! DON'T BLAME ME FOR YOUR MISTAKES!"

She's right, man.

She was right. This was entirely my fault. I couldn't do anything right, not when it came to Bella. My anger at Alice was replaced by my own overwhelming sense of guilt. Emmett released me, and I crumbled to the ground. "I'm sorry, Alice. I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

"I understand."

Get up! Jasper screamed in my head. Stop wallowing in your guilt. You need to fix this mess you created and we need to bring Bella home.

He was right. I nodded and stood up.

"We'll get her back, bro." Emmett patted my shoulder.

We started running again, heading to the airport. Alice pulled out her phone to call the airlines. We needed to be on the first available flight to Seattle. Her phone was dead. No, in their rush, she forgot to turn it back on after exiting the plane. When she turned it back on she saw several missed calls, a text and a voice mail from Carlisle.

The text read, "Alice, call me as soon as you get off the plane."

I saw in her head that Carlisle and Rosalie were trying to dig up information on the vampire that had Bella. She wondered if they found anything that could help us.

In the voice mail, Carlisle said, "Change of plans, Alice. Bella was not in Forks when it happened. Meet us back in New York." What? Why wasn't she in Forks? Where the hell was she?