Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

The Power of Love

Summary:
Exactly how strong is the bond that Edward and Bella share? Join Bella and Edward as they embark on a journey where their love is challenged. Watch as Bella and Edwards' roads cross and divide. Can they each handle their mistakes? Will Edward abandon Bella or will their love survive the hardships life has to offer? This is set right after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon and begins with Bella in a deep depression.


Notes:
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in this story. This story is written for fun. I am an enthusiast and a fanatic of the lovely Stephenie Meyers. Also please be patient. This story is already written. The first 5 chapters are short; they are glimpses that help set up the story. As the story progressed it seems that the chapters get longer and longer. Also this story is told from various points of view. Each view will be posted to avoid confusion.


17. Confessions

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2966   Review this Chapter

I looked down at my angel cuddled into my arms. My iron grip refusing to give.

This time I won't let go.

I see my Bella shivering from shock. She must have endured a horrific transformation. Her head rested gently on my bare chiseled chest. I caressed her cheeks and pulled her hair back out of her pale face. She inhales deeply and moans.

My Bella was a vampire!

How did this happen?

When did it occur?

Why wasn't I there to protect her?

I had failed her in so many ways. I wanted to protect her from me so I let her be. When that didn't work, I spent every minute with her. She still managed to attract danger from other vampires who happened along. She was almost killed by my brother. I knew I couldn't pretend that I could protect her so I left her to live her life as it should be lived; without any vampires.

That was the worst mistake ever.

I can't seem to get anything right with my Bella. She deserves more.

But I have to stop pitying myself. Bella needs me.

She is in a lot of pain.

I couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with her. She was a horrid sight to see.

No matter, my angel, always gorgeous even with layers of mud caked on her body.

Her head snuggled deeper against my chest. I took my hand and gently combed through her matted hair. Clumps of dried up mud and ...

was that blood in her hair?

I rested my palm on her chin and pulled her face towards me. Her scarlet eyes burned dark as she peered at me with a questioning look.

What was that look, fear of abandonment or worry or dread?

My Bella looked preoccupied over some impending doom.

My angel, hurt and all alone. Took a deep breath and opened her mouth as to speak, "SSSHHHHH!" I told her. I pressed my finger to her lips.

I had so many unanswered questions and I really wanted to know but more importantly, I wanted her to rest. She didn't need to sleep but she did need to relax and understand that she was now safe from whatever or whomever.

She made herself comfortable and gave into my embrace. I allowed the energy to pass through me. I had felt so lost and alone without her. I thought she had been hurt. I worried that I would never see or hold my Bella again. And now here she was; cold and bitter with pain. I kissed her head and then began kissing her gently down the side of her face all the way down to her neck. Bella smiled a bit and then even giggled. Now that I had her in my arms I was never letting her go. She was mine. She wanted me. Yet she didn't seem like my usual Bella. I wonder how much this effect is due to the transformation or how much the trauma of me leaving her has affected her.

It just seemed as if she were holding something back. Something was off. I know she's a vampire now but it was something else and I couldn't seem to put my finger on it.

Maybe she's hungry. When was the last time she went hunting? What does she hunt? How long has she been hunting alone?

Perhaps something more intimate happened between Jacob and my Bella. What if I was too late? But more importantly how did Bella become a vampire? When did this incredible act occur? I looked down at her once more. Her eyes were closed and she was still now. She purred every so often and mumbled incoherent sounds. My beautiful Bella. She looked so peaceful now that she had calmed down some.

I had to know.

It was chewing at me from within, I didn't know how to comfort her without knowing. It shouldn't matter where she 's been or how she got to where she was. However, the nagging wouldn't stop.

"Bella?"

She glanced up at me with fear in her eyes.

"Bella, I want you to know that I never meant for you to go through any pain. All I wanted was to keep you from harm. I want you to know that it was pure torture to pull myself away from you when I did." I paused as I prepared for the more difficult confession.

"Edward, I know. You lied to me. You told me you didn't love me." Bella said rather blankly.

"And it was the hardest thing I had ever done. But it hurt even more when you accepted it as truth after all that we had been through." I swallowed and continued, "I wanted you to have a normal happy life free from danger, free from a world of vampires and werewolves."

"Well Edward, you did. But what you didn't account for was the depression that I would fall in after you left me. I fell apart. I can't recall months of my life. I remember trips to Forks and spending time with Jacob." I cringed as she said his name.

"I remember really waking up and wanting to look for you. At first I did believe you. I had always suspected that I wasn't good enough to be yours. You, a god amongst mortals so magnificent." Bella sat up and looked me straight in the eyes. She appeared so determined. She wanted to tell me what she had gone through and I wanted to know.

"But, Edward, I figured you out. You manipulated me. You had a plan. I want to know what that plan was. You're always so precise and well thought out. What were you hoping would happen when you left me?"

I looked at her unable to answer.

"See I have a theory about that."

More theories, huh?" I winked at her.

"Well I thought that you were so out of sorts that you really didn't plan it all out this time. I believe that the love you felt for me clouded your judgment. You said so yourself. If it wasn't for me being there when James was hunting me, you would have fought him right then and there. I slowed you down. I was a distraction."

"You were a lot more than a distraction, Bella. You changed my world. I left you being completely unselfish. I didn't think about what effect it would have on me. I fell apart. And when I collected myself enough to realize that I couldn't exist without you, I went looking for you. But you weren't there. You were gone." I felt Bella stiffen in my arms and her she aimed her gaze down.

"Edward, when I "came to" I went back to Forks and searched for you. When you weren't there I decided to leave you a message. I thought that if I went and stayed in the sun with Renee, I would pull out of the gloom that surrounded me. I was in such a rut. But then I was attacked and..."

I cut her off, "You were attacked? By who?"

"Victoria happened. Edward, you left me. I fell apart. Then Charlie moved me away. But I couldn't stay away..." Bella began to shake as she became overwhelmed with emotion.

"I went searching for you and all I found was trouble. Victoria found me in our meadow. She attacked me. She was going to kill me. Luckily Jacob was there and he stopped her but not before she had bitten me twice. Sam wanted to kill me too. Jacob made him let me go. So I left, in search of you."

I was horrified with what I just heard. So they left a new-born vampire to fend for herself and exiled her from Forks and LaPush.

"I'll kill that mutt." I muttered.

Bella looked at me. "You can't hurt Jacob."

"Bella, I am not going to hurt him. But I can't be around him. He says he's your friend and then he sends you away. It is so difficult to be alone. And he knows better than I that a newborn vampire can't control themselves. Bella, it was wrong what he did."

"Well then that is why he probably came after me. He found me in the forest by the edge of a mountain crying. He said he had a feeling about me. I think he came to check up on me and put me down if I had turned to the dark side. He had mentioned he was worried about that."

I shivered at the thought of my Bella turning to the dark side.

"So he kept you safe?"

"Edward, he really cares about me, he just wanted to protect me. But then one day I had had enough. I asked him to leave. So he did."

"Bella, what happened between Jacob and you?" I had to know.

"He just leaves you just like that? What happened? How long was he with you?" I bombarded her with questions.

Bella shifted around uncomfortably. She averted her gaze, took a deep breath and began again.

"Edward, I don't want you to be mad. Jake and I are friends. He was there when you weren't. I'll admit, he's always wanted more. And at times, I was even tempted to just settle. I asked him to leave because I only want you. As comfortable as I was with Jacob, I really was never complete. He doesn't know me like you do.

But Edward, you weren't there. It got hard. I thought I could do it..."

Bella began to cry. She curled up into a ball and dry sobbed. Her body quivering in my arms. She had retreated into her shell. Bella was in shock again. As resilient as vampires are, she had been through a lot. Although I wanted to know more I had to worry first about the state that I found my Bella in. She was in a fog. I didn't know vampires could break down like that.

Bella had often presented with a labile mood, constantly fluctuating from happy to angry. She was full of life and spirit. Her cheeks gave her emotions away. But not now. Now I saw before me a pile of agony.Something must have happened. Jacob had been real sour. Did something else happen? I need to know?

Maybe she's in danger. I hope that there isn't some sort of lynching party after her.

I cradled her into my arms and began rocking her gently; humming and singing comforting songs. Bella's eyes remained wide opened. Two deep black orbs with maroon rings. She was definitely hiding something from me.

Perhaps if I can calm her down she will come around. I believe if she says everything now she will collapse. I should probably call Carlisle. He would definitely have some good advice as to what to do in this situation.

How dare Jacob just leave a newborn vampire.

And why didn't he tell me that she had been transformed?

What was he trying to hide? That she had been transformed!

Did he think I had something to do with it?

Did he blame me for what happened to her?

And what is with Alice's visions. Catastrophe all around. White light. Emmett was right, it must have been her transformation ,her death. I took another peek at my angel. Bella's eyes are real red.

How long has she been a vampire? Well with all this swamp trash, I wasn't sure any of it was doing much justice.

But her eyes are real red. Blood red. And they have been darkening since I found her.

For a moment recognition registers across her face. A new emotion appears. Guilt. Bella was ashamed of herself.

But why?

"Bella, it's OK. You don't have to tell me everything now. Just think back to when we first met and I spent 2-3 days quizzing you on everything there was to know about you. Do you remember?"

Bella slowly met my eyes. "Yes Edward, I remember"

"Well it's the same thing. I want to know where you've been and what you've been through. Bella, I love you. I always will no matter what."

Bella's eyes turned down and her face scrunched up. "Edward, I am so afraid you won't love me after I tell you everything."

She lowers her gaze again.

Bella begins to tell me the horrors she encountered. She tells me about her first hunt. The wild thirst and cessation. She tells me about the first little girl that caught her attention. I couldn't bare to hear it but then she tells me that she didn't go through with it and that shortly after that experience, Jacob and Sam had found her. She told me that when they reached edges of towns, Jacob had to wrestle her to the ground to keep from stalking innocent prey. She told me the whole story of her awakening.

She then tells me about how Jacob didn't let her have fun. How he treated her like a big brother sometimes and others as if he were her probation officer. She said she couldn't take it anymore. So she made him leave. She said then she felt she could actually hunt, just like the first time with the lioness.

Only her plan faultered.

Bella told me how she gave in to her inner beast. Her body became rigid and her voice distant. She began to pull away from me gathering strength as she told me about each murder she committed. I couldn't understand. My Bella who was always strong and sensible.

The guilt she must feel.

But there was something else. As she told me each individual case, she also told me the satisfaction she felt with each kill. She told me that she felt drawn to each person. Sometimes she would travel from town to town until she found the right scent.

I didn't understand. I wanted to turn away and run. I wanted time to just think. My innocent angel had turned dark.

"Edward. Edward. I am sorry. Their fragrance lured me. I was possessed. And then the euphoria I would feel afterwards was intoxicating. Edward, I promised myself after each time that it was the last time."

I just listened. It was unbearable.

"Edward, it was unbelievable, after the first one. I ran as deep into the woods as possible. I ran as far away. But the scent would still catch up with me. And I would hunt again. Let me tell you, when I was human, I never remembered you hunting as often. Even when I was with Jacob I didn't hunt but twice a month. It was weird, it was as if some force took over my body, it wasn't me. But the after effect was incredible. I felt like I had accomplished something. I am not sure what came over me. I am a monster."

Bella crumpled down in shame.

I was disgusted. She had given me details of each murder. She was right. There was some sort of sense of accomplishment surrounding her. I wanted to turn away. No I didn't want to leave my Bella. She just caught me by surprise. But I had to be tough. Act as if what she had said hadn't jaded me as it had.

I pulled a stiff Bella back in to my arms and caressed the nape of her neck. I bent forward and kissed her gently on the lips. I parted my lips just enough to allow our kiss to grow. My arms reached up and around her fully embracing her with my love. I tilted her chin back and left a moist trail down her neck and towards her shoulders. Bella squirmed. She relaxed a little as did I. I trudged forward.

"Bella, we've all had our weak moments. Think of Jasper. He hunted humans for 70 some years before he turned vegetarian."

I thought back to my vampire adolescence. "Even I had my own period of rebellion. I hunted people. I thought that I would be different. Since I had the power to read their thoughts, I really believed that I was only killing the bad. I was overwhelmed with guilt. I still am for those I viciously murdered." As much as I tried to justify what Bella had done, I felt sick. The land began to spin and I felt myself lose grasp of reality. Bella's world came clashing forward and I inhaled a sweet, succulent smell. A vision came forward at full throttle:

There we were Bella and I, holding hands looking out towards an older gentleman in his high-rise condo. His tender skin, pink around his nose appeared so lush and ripe. I could hear his pulse throbbing in his neck. An aroma so tempting lingered at my nose. In the background I could feel the heat rising. I felt an incredible hunger over power me. The thirst was like nothing I had ever felt before. I had to have it. I would do anything to for it. Reason stepped out.

As quickly as it came, the vision disappeared. Bella peered up at me and smiled seductively. Her onyx eyes shone a bleak light. "I guess it is time to hunt. Thirsty?"

I felt a twinge of discomfort in the pit of my stomach. I quickly pushed it away. I had absolutely no control. Bella stood up and straightened herself out. She stretched out my hand and pulled me close to her.

"Come with me and see what I see. This is a ride to experience".

I was completely entranced in her spell.

I was devoted to following her wherever she led as long as it brought me back to that sweet, seductive smell.

I believe in the distance I heard the sound of a cellphone tune. But I was gone. I had no intention of turning back.