Love Is Never Easy
All Human. Author Bella Swan was hurt by Edward Cullen three years ago and was forced to move on with her life. Now engaged to Jacob Black who is abusive towards her especially when drinking she has to face Edward again, however this time he knows what he wants and that's Bella. Can their love finally work out?
2. Chapter 2
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The 15 minute drive to Alice's house was painfully silent, the only thing that could be heard was the slight purr of the engine and Jake's heavy breathing. I had so many thoughts twirling around in my mind I felt as if my head might explode.
I was insanely worried of having to act normal around Alice, she knew nothing of the night Edward and I had slept together and I intended it to stay that way. Of course she had always wondered what had happened between me and Edward and had pestered me about it on numerous occasions.
"Bella why do you never see Edward anymore?, you used to be such good friends and now it seems like you do everything in your power to avoid him."
"Look Alice we just had a disagreement, something that neither of us will budge on, I don't want to say anymore please can we just drop it."
Alice had sat in my apartment and sulked all afternoon after that brief conversation however Edward was never mentioned again so at least she got the message and left the subject alone. But now I had to face him again after all this time, and I felt myself wondering what he looked like now 3 years later. Did he still have those intense and piercing green eyes which would bore into you like they could see all the way into your sole, the bronze hair which I always longed to run my fingers through......NO I have to stop those kind of thoughts now, I don't believe it, what kind of pathetic, masochistic person am I after the way he treated me and all these years later I'm still longing to touch him. No I need to direct my thoughts elsewhere.
"Jake could you maybe try not to drink so much tonight, I mm..mean you know ww..what happens when you drink." I stuttered realising what I was asking of him, Jake hated it when I mentioned his drinking.
"Bella I would appreciate it if you didn't tell me what I can and cannot drink." Jake hissed through clenched teeth.
I could see his anger as his hands gripped the steering wheel his knuckles turning bone white.
"Sorry Jake." I quickly recovered "I don't know what I was thinking, just ignore me I'm a little tired that's all."
Jake just nodded his head. God I hated this, this walking on egg shells afraid of saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time. I don't even love him anymore. Not after the drinking and the violent and aggressive behaviour. I mean don't get me wrong he had only ever hit me the once, splitting my lip in the process, but normally it was just furniture and crockery that got hurt. I still feel though if I don't keep out of the way when he does drink I am likely to get hurt.
I was jerked out of my thoughts when Jake slammed the door of our truck, and made his way up Alice's path. He didn't even wait for me to open the door and hop down let alone help me out. I followed him up the path all the while my stomach turning with anticipation.
"Bella" Alice squealed with happiness and delight as she opened the door and enveloped me in a huge hug. When she finally released me she glanced at Jake and curtly nodded.
It was obvious to everyone including me that Alice didn't like Jake, heck even I didn't like Jake anymore. I wish I could pluck up the courage to leave him but every time that thought even crosses my mind I tell myself that for somebody as plain and uninteresting as me Jake is as good as it gets.
Alice ushered us both through the hallway into the dining room, as we walked in I noticed nearly everyone was already seated for a meal. The table was set and along the centre of it was a huge selection of food looking rather appetizing.
I cast my eyes around the table; Emmett Alice's older brother was seated in the far corner opposite his wife and Jasper's sister Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle Alice's parents were next to them, that then left Jasper and an empty seat for Alice opposite him as my eyes trailed along the table my gaze fell upon those green eyes and the person to whom they belonged seated next to Jasper.
My heart started thudding loudly in my ears as I stared into his eyes, 3 years had certainly not changed my feelings for him and that thought scared me more than anything. As I stared into his eyes I noticed something flicker behind them but before I could dwell over it;
"Bella" Boomed Emmett from the table with wide childlike eyes.
I laughed, who wouldn't laugh at Emmett he really was a huge teddy bear.
"Hi Emmett feels like ages since I last saw you."
"That's because it was, you should hang out with us more often."
I simply smiled in reply. Jeez Alice wasn't kidding when she said this would be a family event, she meant no one at the meal would be anything but family apart from me - the best friend and my fiancé Jake.
"I thought this was a party?" I asked Alice quietly as I took my seat beside her.
I don't know why but the word party and Alice in the same sentence always seemed to mean loud music, party streamers and excessive amounts of alcohol.
"I thought a meal would be more of an appropriate way to celebrate our engagement" she replied in the same level of voice I had used.
"Well now that everyone is here, help yourselves to the food and dig in" Jasper announced in his thick southern accent.
Everyone obliged by piling food onto their plate, Jake however I noticed went straight for one of the bottles of wine and filled his glass to the rim; I shook my head and squeezed my eyes tightly. When I opened them I noticed Edward staring at me that's when I suddenly noticed he was seated directly opposite me Alice had set a place for Jake right on the end of the table almost on his own, what was Alice playing at?
That then made me realise he was on his own he hadn't brought anyone with him he was the only body in the room without a companion. How odd Edward nearly always used to have some floozy clinging on to his arm I wondered if he really had changed. He suddenly looked up and noticed be staring which caused me to look down at my plate with a blush, this is going to be one long meal I said to myself as I reached across the table to fill my plate.
I jolted awake to the shrill ringing of my phone, whoever the hell this was, was seriously going to get a mouthful. To most people it may very well be the middle of the day but to a paramedic who works the night shift it most certainly isn't. I flipped my phone open without even looking to see who was calling.
"What" I grumbled.
"Touchy this morning aren't we?"
"Look Alice you're my sister and I love you more than anything but I just got to sleep about an hour ago after doing an eleven hour shift and I am absolutely shattered."
"I am sorry to wake you brother dearest but there is no need to be such a grump when I have such exciting news."
She didn't sound the slightest bit sorry. "And this exciting news can't wait until another what eight hours when I have actually slept."
"No it can't."
"Well come on then don't keep me in suspense." I muttered sarcastically I really was knackered and not in the mood to play games.
"Jas and I are engaged" she squealed.
"Wow I am really happy for you, ecstatic even, but can I please hang up and go back to sleep now?"
"Not so fast we are celebrating our engagement next Monday evening, and before you even think about trying to make up the excuse that you will be working I know you won't. Monday's are one of your evenings off I already know this, and it's a family event so you have to come."
"Yep OK I will come, now will you hang up?"
"OHHH one more thing, Bella Swan you do remember Bella don't you." She didn't even wait for me to respond before saying. "Well Bella will be there."
Bella Swan how much that named pained me, I was such an asshole to her and the worst of it is, is I have loved her since we were kids I just didn't see it until it was too late. She was both mine and Alice's best friend, now she's just Alice's I haven't seen her in so long. I wish I could erase what happened the morning I just bailed on her. I get sick to my stomach thinking about it now. I must have zoned out, lost in my own thoughts because suddenly Alice's voice sounded through the phone.
"Edward are you there?"
"OHHH yeah Alice I'm still here"
"Look Edward tell me to mind my own business but whatever happened between you and Bella I think you should try and work it out I mean it was a really long time ago, and you have been miserable for the past three years...."
"Al..." I tried to interject but she cut me off.
"And don't even try and deny it. The whole family can see it even Carlisle and Esme. You haven't even had a girlfriend or been out on dates since you and Bella stopped talking, your last relationship was Lauren, and that kind of behaviour is really strange for you because like it or not Edward you used to be a cocky, arrogant, pig headed male who thought he could date anybody and dated almost everybody. Don't get me wrong I love the new Edward the caring, sensitive one who actually gives a damn about people but I want to see you happy and I think Bella could make you happy. It's obvious to the whole family that you love her and always have even after all this time, and it's apparent to me that she always has and still loves you...."
"Alice just stop OK your getting way ahead of yourself."
"No I'm not Edward, look Bella is engaged to this sleazebag Jacob Black who I personally can't stand they have been engaged for a year but I can tell Bella isn't happy, I can see that around Jacob her eyes are dark, dull and lifeless but yet her eyes light up brightly with love and adoration every time I mention your name. She loves you Edward even now, she loves you and you love her so just work it out with her and make each other happy please for me."
"OK I get what you're saying Alice and I admit your right about me loving her but after what I did I don't see how she can forgive me."
"Trust me she will, look I'm sure your really still very tired and I have babbled on long enough so I am going to hang up and let you get some sleep, just think about what I have said and I will see you next Monday. Love you."
"Love you too." I sighed before hanging up.
"Trust me she will forgive you" Alice's wind chime voice rang through my head a dozen times. Maybe she would forgive me if I could just get a chance to tell her I how wrong I had been how much I had panicked and thought I wasn't good enough for her and even though I don't deserve her now, hope and pray she gives me a chance to prove myself.
"I will hang up and let you get some sleep." Alice had said; sleep as if I could sleep now when I was so hyped up at the prospect of seeing Bella Swan again after all this time. When I finally drifted off my dreams were plagued with images of Bella's beautiful angelic face, soft delicate skin, dark brown eyes and full plump red lips.
It is now Monday night and I am standing outside Alice's house waiting for her to open the door and let me in. I could see the rest of the family were already here; Carlisle and Esme's black Volvo was parked a little down the road along with Rosalie and Emmett's bright red Mercedes, I had to hand to Rosalie that girl had style. I had been counting down the days until tonight, until I would see Bella again.
"Hi Edward" Alice sing-songed opening the door. "Come on in everyone except for Bella and Jake are here."
I walked through towards the dining room with Alice when the door chimed again. She rushed to answer it and left me to make my own way through the rest of the house. When I walked in everyone at the table greeted me by smiling and nodding their heads. Esme jumped up and pulled me into a tender embrace.
"Edward" she beamed hugging and kissing me on the forehead almost as if I hadn't seen her in years when in reality it was only a couple of weeks ago.
When she finally let go I went to take my seat only Jasper intervened and moved me one seat over.
"Alice's instructions, and we both know when Alice wants something she gets it."
I merely shrugged wondering what on earth he was on about; it didn't matter to me where on the table I sat.
I was about to ask Emmett how work was going when I heard shuffling through the house and suddenly Alice was standing there, Bella stood to her left and a man stood further behind them both. The man I assumed was Jacob, I glanced at him and then I looked at Bella; she was breath taking, I took a sharp intake of breath and my eyes widened. She was beautiful my memory of her had not done her justice. She was wearing a lilac coloured dress with delicately beaded butterflies all up the side making her look elegant and angel like. Emmett was saying something but I couldn't hear what he was saying. And then she spoke her voice soft and delicate I couldn't hear the words she had uttered either I was too captivated by her beauty.
She took her seat and whispered something to Alice, just as Jasper told the room to eat.
I was trying my hardest not to look at her too much not wanting her to think I was some kind of voyeur watching her movements very closely but I suddenly felt her eyes on me I looked up to see her staring at me.
Excitement washed through me could she still have feelings for me is that why she's looking at me, she held my gaze for a few seconds before turning away blushing a gorgeous shade of red. I watched her pile food onto her plate before asking;
"Bella I was wondering what you did for a living, I remember you always had a passion for English Literature."
I knew Bella well enough to know that she wouldn't ignore me especially in front of my family and sure enough she spoke to me for the first time in 3 years.
"Yes... I...ummm....I'm a writer I write novels.....mainly crime and thriller."
I don't know why but I felt exceedingly uncomfortable, Alice kept throwing sideways glances at me and Jake was making me more edgy by the second.
"What about you Edward, what do you do?" I asked him before taking a mouthful of food.
"I'm a paramedic have been for the past two years I like being able to help people I find it rewarding and being a bit of a night hawk I love working through the night and sleeping during the day" he finished off emphasizing the word day and then he suddenly spoke looking at Alice.
"That is if people let you sleep and don't decide to wake you up by phoning you and banging on for hours and not hanging the hell up." He said looking pointedly at Alice I suddenly felt as if I was missing something.
"Ohhh Edward get over it you have been going on about that all week" laughed Alice.
Dinner passed pretty fast different conversations flowing between members of the Cullen family. Jake hadn't spoke to anybody all night and was seemingly drinking wine like water he had already polished off two bottles all on his own when everybody else at the table were still on their first glass . Alice had offered me some but I declined knowing I had to drive home; Jake was certainly in no condition to.
"I'm glad you were able to have your books published I always knew you could, writing always did make you happy" Edward stated almost as if he wanted to talk to me but didn't know what to say.
"HA" Jake snarled rudely "Bella is hardly a great writer she just writes silly crime novels with predictable and boring characters."
The whole room was suddenly deathly quiet a pin could drop and it would be heard, the Cullen's looked in shock and disbelief at what Jake had just said. I was about to try diffuse the situation when suddenly;
I stared at Edward in disbelief it was nothing to do with him why should he care.
"Look its OK I'm sure Jake didn't mean ......"
"Will you stop talking Bella Please nobody wants to hear it, do you realise how pathetic you are."
I looked around the entire table everybody was shocked to say the least at Jake's outburst. I was the only one who had been expecting it; he gets like this when he has too much to drink. Tensions looked to be running high the entire Cullen family looked ready to strike, to defend my corner I needed to get take out of there and fast. I rose from the table "Thanks Alice dinner was amazing but I think we should be going now."
"No but wait we've barely had time to catch up you haven't been here long." Alice whined.
"Yeah Bella me and Rosie haven't seen you in ages I think you owe us some catching up time." Emmett joined in.
I really needed to get Jake out of here he looked ready to blow. I knew this was a bad idea, we shouldn't have come. "Look Alice, call me tomorrow and we can arrange to go shopping, I promise you all that I will see everyone of you soon but I need to take Jake home now." Before he breaks something or punches someone I added mentally in my head. I was steering Jake towards the door before anyone could stop me.
"Don't touch me I can manage by myself." Jake growled walking out the door towards the car. I was about to turn round to shut the front door when someone grabbed my arm, I expected it to be Alice and was shocked to see Edward looking at me through concerned eyes.
"Bella we need to talk, I don't think you should go home right now why don't you stay I have something important to tell you." He said in a low voice.
"Edward I really need to get out of here it was good seeing you again really." I tried to look genuine, but I could see he wasn't having it.
"Get my number off Alice, you can call me and we can arrange to meet up and talk. I really better go. I yanked my arm out of his grip and headed for the truck.
I confronted Jake the minute we stepped through the door. "What the hell was that, I have never in my life been so embarrassed."
"It was nothing Bella just like your nothing, now get out of my way I'm going to bed."
"No you can't keep doing this it needs to stop; you need to control your drinking."
"CONTROL MY DRINKING"
I suddenly felt very afraid I shouldn't have said that.
Before I could react his hand had reached out and slapped me across the face. I looked at him in shock and disgust.
"What" he jeered "I can't slap you?"
"No you can't" I don't know why but suddenly my hand was reaching out and I gave him one swift slap across the face. I really shouldn't have done that either. Suddenly his fist connected with my eye and cheek the sheer force forced me onto the floor. He then pulled me off the floor and held me against the wall.
"I think I have been very patient with you Bella but you're really wearing me down now. You're weak and pathetic, and you could never leave me because I will find you if you do. Your mine and we are going to get married. Now I'm going to bed and you're going to sleep on the sofa, I can't look at you right now."
He let me down so quick I stumbled and nearly ended up back on the ground. He then trudged on upstairs to bed. I grabbed the blanket off the back of the sofa, and curled underneath it still fully clothed, I then sobbed until I had no tears left.