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Damned Regardless

`` "Do you really think we should continue to mess with fate? We've toyed with it enough as it is and look at where it has gotten us! Edward messed with Bella's and now we're in a heep of crap that we're never going to recover from. This entire time we've been playing with it, changing it, molding it. Fate is not meant to be messed with when it comes to two things, love and death. I know that much. I'm sure Esme and Edward will agree as well. I know they will." I said, sounding sure of myself. That didn't mean I actually felt it, though. `` Bella/Edward, Carlisle/Esme, Bella/Carlisle, Alice/Jasper, Emmett/Rosalie, Victoria/Riley.

Written in different points of views.
Adult for language, sexual stuff and other such things in later chapters.

1. Playing With Fate

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2578   Review this Chapter

I was in the Car with Jasper on the way back from Seattle. I had dragged him shopping, yet again. He wasn't very happy about it, but he knew that at times like these a new wardrobe was just the thing to cheer me up. I sat back and closed my eyes, my ears ringing with the sounds of Death Cab For Cutie. If I could actually sleep, I'd probably have been out like a light. The singers voice was low and soothing and the music that accompanied his melody only helped calm my nerves that much more. We had been preparing for what was ahead. Victoria, Riley, the new borns, the battle. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, but I had to say I was getting used to all of the hub-bub that had been happening since Bella stumbled, literally, into our lives. I breathed in deeply as my eyes slowly slid back open and my eyes peered out the window. I watched the trees as we drove past them at speeds above the legal limit. If Bella complained about Edward's driving, she would have been in tears while in a car with Jasper. He was doing almost a hundred in a 35mph zone and he never really bothered slowing down for the curves. Sometimes he'd drive on the wrong lane, on purpose, so that he could drive faster in an in and out motion when he'd take the turns. Boys sure did love their cars.

"You know, Jas. As long as we've been in Forks, it seems the scenery never gets old. Is it me or does it get prettier as the time passes?"

I turned my head to look at him. I couldn't help but smile sweetly. I have been with him for so long and still I smiled when I looked at him. I don't think I could have chosen a more attractive person for my mate. He was perfect in each and every way possible. As a gentleman, a husband and a lover. I was starting to realize I was thinking everything I was thinking because I was feeling wearier as we neared the fight. We were unprepared and playing everything by ear. Sure, we had a plan and the pack at our side, but that wasn't going to be enough to ease my nerves. I moved my hand over to Jasper's lap and let it rest there. His hand soon took mine and he interlocked our fingers together. He gave my hand a tight squeeze. He could sense what I was feeling. Something a vampire very rarely felt. It was fear.

"Well, darlin'." He said with a sigh. "I think I have to agree with you. I think it is becoming more beautiful. You know why?" He asked.

"No, tell me?" I answered, still looking in his direction. My smile was long gone, though.

"Everything we have gone through in the past three years, between Bella, Edward, Jacob and the pack, the Volturi." He paused and continued, his eyes glancing at me for just a moment before returning to the road. "It's given Forks a certain, special meaning to us. I mean, sure the other places we've lived, Alaska, England, Canada, they all had something special, but it was never anything like this. We've never had a human come into our family, accept us like we were one of them, fall in love with one of us, get tracked by one of us, we were never involved with the citizens in any of them. We never lost lives, made friends." He smirked. "Get what I'm sayin', babe?"

I listened to Jasper closely as he spoke. He couldn't be all the more right. In all the past places we had lived we had never really made any kind of connection to it. Never had anything to tie our emotions to, well, as much emotion as us vampires could feel anyway. We'd never gotten involved with the human population. We were isolated and our existence was rarely made known unless high school kids were talking about us.

I was getting sick of that, by the way, but it was never going to go away.

I nodded in agreement with him and let my thumb brush lightly over his. I let my head fall back against the seat again and my eyes close once more. I sighed deeply and adjusted my legs so one crossed over the other. I couldn't seem to sit still. I could feel his hand squeeze mine again, almost as if he were trying to keep me awake. It was sweet of him, but I didn't know what anyone could do to calm me down.

"You're scared." He stated matter of factually. I couldn't get around him when it came to my feelings and sometimes, especially at times like these. It friggin' sucked. "You have nothing to be afraid of and even if you are, you've got me. I know what I'm doin'"

"I know you do, love." I knew he had experiences with new borns before and had guided armies of them into battle and chaotic riots and I hated to doubt him. I felt guilty for it. I just had this gut feeling. I felt like something was going to go horribly wrong. I opened my eyelids again and they averted their attention to my husband."I just have an uneasy feeling about this is all. You might know what you're doing, but what about the others. Carlisle? Emmett? Edward? Myself? Esme? A day or two of training I feel isn't really going to do us much good."

I was doubting everybody, but this feeling that had been grabbing my attention for the past twenty minutes was totally killing me.

"I'm half tempted to try and see into the future right now."

"Why don't you?" He chuckled as he asked.

"I'm afraid of what I'll see. I figure if I'm meant to know, it will come to me." If there was anything dire, something probably would come to me. I just hoped it was sooner than later.

"Well, it's your choice, Alice."

I left the conversation at that and snuggled back up against the seat. I pulled my legs up and placed my feet on the dashboard to sit a bit more comfortably. I was silent for most of the ride home. My mind couldn't help but try to force itself into the future. I was doing my best to hold back, but it was coming. Fast like I had felt it was going to. Within minutes of our conversation I was flashed forward into the future. My eyes slightly widened a little more then usual, I always had a habit of doing this. It was like it helped me see clearer or something. In reality it did nothing except for make me look like a bug. At least there was one tell tale way to know I was having a vision. The images started to flood my mind and went in a quick series of events.

The first of which was all of us, but Edward, in the baseball field. The battle had already begun and we were all doing pretty well. The training had done it's trick, although it was very short notice and mildly practiced. I was pleased with this, so I smiled a little. The next few images were not so great and it took every inch of myself not to scream, or make a sound. It was Bella and Edward on what looked like a mountain peak, Victoria and her sick, little minion along with one of the wolves. It wasn't Jacob though, I hadn't seen him before.

It flashed to Bella purposely cutting herself to catch their attention. "NO!" I couldn't hold it back. Jasper slowed the car down and I could hear him asking me what was wrong, but they were still coming wave after wave. I saw Edward in Victoria's grip, the werewolf passed out or dead, and Bella running for her life. I saw Victoria chasing after her. Where was Riley? What happened to Edward? The vision rolled forward and it was us standing in the field, fires blazing. I counted the people standing there and three were missing.

"Oh my god." I covered my mouth and if I could cry, I would feel tears rolling down my cheek.

"What?!" Jasper pulled the car over, concerned for my mental safety and state. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to do anything dumb, which was understandable.

I took in a sharp breath and frowned. My facial features told the story, but my emotions probably spoke more fluently. I had counted the numbers and recognized the faces. I shook my head in shock and my eyebrows narrowed. I looked like I was about to be sick. I didn't know how to tell him, but I couldn't keep it a secret. I knew my emotions were far to strong to keep to myself. I trusted Jasper and I very desperately needed his advice. There were only two things coming to mind. Telling the others or keeping it a secret between the two of us. I knew my visions were usually correct and could not be avoided.

"Why are you feeling remorse, right now, Alice?"

I stayed quiet a moment and would wait for him to ask again. It would give me time to muster the words without sounding like I was going to hurt everyone on purpose.

"Alice?" He said with a more stern, and serious voice. I had to tell him.

"It's Esme, and Edward. They're.. they're going to die. Not just them, Jacob too." I watched him as he tried to reach for his phone, but my hand moved at vampire speed to grab his wrist. "Don't do it." I don't know exactly where that had come from, but it felt like the right thing to do and say. Instinct even, perhaps. He looked at me strangely, like a puppy who may have accidentally peed on the carpet or chewed on a very expensive piece of furniture. "I don't want to tell everyone. Let me talk to Esme and Edward alone first and see what they think?"

"What is there to think? We should tell them, stop it from happening before it-"

"Shh, Jas." I said, placing a finger on his lips. "Listen to me, for one second, please?" I pleaded. He nodded silently.

"I hate to say this and I know it is going to make me sound full of myself, but when have my vision's been wrong. As of lately?" I wanted his honest answer and I already knew what it was going to be. I dropped my finger from his lips to let him speak.

"Never as of lately, but you haven't had a vision like this. This could be easily avoided if we come up with a new plan, and fast."

"What was that?"

"Never as of lately." He repeated.

"Do you really think we should continue to mess with fate? We've toyed with it enough as it is and look at where it has gotten us! Edward messed with Bella's and now we're in a heep of crap that we're never going to recover from. This entire time we've been playing with it, changing it, molding it. Fate is not meant to be messed with when it comes to two things, love and death. I know that much. I'm sure Esme and Edward will agree as well. I know they will." I said, sounding sure of myself. That didn't mean I actually felt it.

"Did you have a vision about them talking to you?" He had to question me.

"No, but I've got a feeling, Jas. Just like I had a bad feeling earlier, before I got the vision."

Jasper decided it was safe to start driving again so he turned the ignition and placed the car in drive again. He was driving a little slower, probably to give us more time to talk about the vision I had just had. He knew I had a point, it was something I could sense. It was time to start doing things differently. Something had to change. I'm not saying that I regretted having Bella come into our lives. That was the opposite. She was my best friend and sister she was going to be my brother's mate. When I looked over to him, I could tell he was cross at me. He didn't exactly agree. If I didn't win him on my side he would probably tell everyone else. We were quiet again, but he eventually broke the silence. His curiosity was getting the best of him.

"What did you see, exactly?" He brought his hand back over to mine again. This time our hands were sitting on my thigh instead of his.

"I saw Bella bleeding and getting chased by Victoria. Edward was in the hands of Riley. It wasn't until after I did a head count at the end of my vision that I noticed not only Edward was not there, but Esme and Jacob as well. You, Myself, Rosalie, Carlisle, Emmett and Bella were all standing around the fire at the end of the battle. We were all quiet and all I could feel was that sickening sense of remorse." I flared my nostrils in disgust.

"Unless we know their exact plan of action.."

"We can't help it?" He finished my sentence.

"Pretty much, Jasper." I frowned.

"When are you going to talk to Edward and Esme?"

He began to speed once again. This meant I was probably convincing him to keep this a secret, at least until I spoke to Esme and Edward.

"I am going to see if I can get them to go hunting, laone with me tonight. I'll speak to them both. Esme will probably take it better than Edward will, and if Edward decides to get any kind of out of hand I know that Esme can keep him calm and help him see clearly. I would have you come, but I'm afraid you might .. cloud their emotions for the sake of them not feeling.. well. y'know. I want their honest answers."

"I know. I understand. I promise you I won't say anything. It will be their decision and I will do my best to keep this between you and I. Soldiers promise."

Eventually we reached the house and I had gotten a chance to invite Esme and Edward to go hunting with me. Uh, okay, maybe I sort of set them up. I told them each separately I wanted quality time hunting with each of them, alone. They were probably going to figure out something was up when they would meet me at our usual hunting grounds and see each other. I would worry about that later. For now? I had to figure out what I was going to tell them, or how. I was going to have to try and voice my opinion without sounding like I wanted them to die. Maybe I wouldn't have to say anything to them at all about it and they would just accept what was going to happen. That was unlikely though, Esme was betrothed to Carlisle and Edward had been planning on marrying Bella. He probably wouldn't go without a fight.

For the remainder of the afternoon I was in my room with Jasper curled up on the couch. I just laid with my head against his chest and he stroked my hair lovingly. I was without words.

I had nothing to say to anyone. I just wanted to get this over with as vampirely quick as possible.