I Want You....I Think...
“Bella….”he whispered as one of his hands came up to cup my face. He leaned in slowly, making sure this was what I wanted. But I wasn’t sure if I really wanted this. I loved him. That I was sure of, but I didn’t love him like he loved me. I loved him as a best friend, as a sun that brightens my day, and makes the hole in my chest smaller. But what if I could also love him as something more? Edward is gone and Bella realizes he isnt coming back, but is she really ready to move on? one shot
this is my first attempt at a one shot, so all critiques are greatly appreciated please review and tell me what you think :) disclaimer: i do not own any of these characters, they all belong to stephanie meyer
1. Chapter 1
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1602 Review this Chapter
“Bella….”he whispered as one of his hands came up to cup my face. He leaned in slowly, making sure this was what I wanted. But I wasn’t sure if I really wanted this. I loved him. That I was sure of, but I didn’t love him like he loved me. I loved him as a best friend, as a sun that brightens my day, and makes the hole in my chest smaller. But what if I could also love him as something more? Maybe I won’t have to hurt him anymore, maybe I could be the one to make him happy. I know he is never coming back so maybe I should move on, or at least make an attempt to.
I looked into his eyes and saw all the hope, the love, the tenderness, but I also saw Jacob. My Jacob. The Jacob I love. I tilted my face towards his and closed my eyes, signaling that this is what I want.
He hesitated for a moment before bringing his face down till it was a couple of inches away. I felt the air between us move as he inhaled before he touched his lips to mine.
As we kissed I felt…something, something that told me this was right. That I could love him the way he wants me too, maybe not now, but in the future. I knew as soon as our lips met that I could end up loving Jacob Black. Sure I didn’t feel the electric shock I felt when Edward kissed me, but I doubt I will ever feel that again. Edward didn’t love me. Jacob did, however. So why don’t I spend time with the man who really loved me, instead of the man who thought he did, but was really just using me as a distraction.
So I kissed him back, with as much force as I could. I felt the hand that wasn’t on my face come up and tangle in my hair. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pressed myself closer to him.
Our kiss only lasted a moment, before we pulled apart gasping for air. I rested my head against his hot, bare chest. He placed his chin on the top of my head for a moment before pulling back slightly to kiss my hair.
I leaned back slightly to look him in the eyes. I wanted to kiss him again; I wanted to feel that safety and love I felt in our last kiss so I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his. I could tell he was shocked as it took him a second to respond but when he did, I felt everything our last kiss wasn’t. I felt like nothing else mattered, that there was nothing in this world that could ever make me feel hurt or threatened, or unloved-as long as Jacob was with me. I felt we could do anything.
Just a few seconds into the kiss, the phone rang. Jacob pulled away from me to answer it but I grabbed his hand and stopped him. I didn’t want anything to ruin this moment. I laced my fingers through his and tilted my face up to continue our kiss. After a minute or so, Jacob let go of my hand and placed his hands on my waist for a moment before lifting me up and placing me on the kitchen counter. I sat on the edge and pulled him close enough to wrap my legs around him. One of my hands rested on his perfect chest and the other found its way to the back of his neck and started playing in his hair.
Then the phone rang again. I didn’t want to answer it, but I thought it might be Charlie calling, and if it was him who called before, he must have something important to tell me. I pulled back from Jacob and reached for the phone. Jacob’s eyes were still closed and he was breathing pretty hard, but so was I.
I tried to calm my breathing as I pulled the phone off its holder and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?...” there was no answer, so I tried again, “hello?”
I wasn’t sure if I heard it, it was so quite, but I could’ve sworn I’d heard a whispered “Bella?” followed by a sigh. Then a click. They had hung up.
I wasn’t sure what to think. I had a pretty good guess about who it was, but it was so quite I couldn’t recognize the voice. Besides that why would he be calling, and why did it seem like they were surprised to hear me? This is my house, of course id be answering the phone, well unless Charlie had answered of course.
“Bella? What’s wrong?” Jacob asked as he turned my face to look me in the eyes.
“I’m not sure, I thought I heard something, but it could have been my imagination.” I didn’t feel like explaining this to him, when I could barely explain it to myself.
Luckily I was saved from having to talk about it when Charlie came in the front door. Then I panicked as I realized how we were positioned, I didn’t need, or want to have to go through the sex talk with Charlie. I shuddered as I pushed Jacob back away from me and hopped down from the counter. Jacob sat in one of the chairs at the table as I opened the fridge. I was looking for something to make for supper when Charlie entered the kitchen.
“Hey Jacob, didn’t expect to see you here.” Charlie said with a smile, he loved Jacob, and was constantly pushing me to go out with him. Well I guess he got his wish.
“Hey Bells, what’s for supper?” he asked as he turned towards me.
I pulled the leftover pasta out of the fridge and held it up to him. “How’s the spaghetti and meatballs from the other night?”
“Sounds great.” He said as he turned to go to the living room. The game must be starting.
“Are you staying for supper? There’s plenty of food” I asked Jake as I put the food in the microwave.
“Do you really have to ask? You know how much I like your cooking.” He chuckled.
I got out three bowls and set the table while the pasta finished cooking. Once everything was ready and the food was done I called Charlie back into the kitchen.
For some reason the pasta tasted much better that night than when I first made it, and I would bet the reason was Jacob.
A couple nights later I was cleaning the dishes from the steak and potatoes me Charlie and Jake had just had when I felt a couple of arms wrap around my stomach. Then I felt Jakes head on my shoulder. I turned the water off and spun around to face him. He was smiling my favorite smile as I stood up on my toes to kiss him.
I watched her through the kitchen window from the edge of the trees in her backyard. She was standing there, washing dishes, when someone came up behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder. I heard the water shut off then saw her turn around to face him. I was shocked when she kissed him. She kissed him! I couldn’t believe it. This was what I wanted for her, but to actually see it! I was so angry that someone else was kissing my Bella, that someone else had his hands on her. I didn’t bother listening to his thoughts; I knew what they would be about. I didn’t want to hear any of that. So I took off running. I ran and ran and ran. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I just wanted to get away from there.
After a long time running I stopped and climbed up into the top of a tall tree. I could see for miles, much longer than any human would have been able to see, but I didn’t actually look at any of it, all I could see was Bella, and as memories of our time together flashed through my head, I realized this was what I wanted for her. This is what I told her to do. I couldn’t expect her to sit around waiting for me. She had her own life to lead. While I wasn’t okay with that, I realized there was nothing I could do. She must really love this guy, and I would only hurt her, once again, if I were to be a part of her life again. So I made a vow with myself to never interfere in her life, to never go back there again, and intend to keep that promise.
4 years later….
“Hey wonderful wife,” he said while coming out of the bathroom.
“Hey terrific husband” I said with a laugh. As he walked up to me, I remembered all we had been through and all the pain we’ve suffered while getting to this perfect moment. The moment after we said our vows in front of everyone we loved, after we danced the night away, me in a really beautiful vintage dress that I actually wore willingly, the moment where we were about to become one. Where we were about to become husband and wife.
“I love you” he whispered in my ear as he pulled me to him.
“I love you too” I kissed him as passionately as I did that first night we kissed all those years ago. When I realized that I actually did love him.